Just back from Dr. visit! Urgg! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got back form taking my 3 1/2 year old DS to his yearly check-up. Up to this point he has had three DTaP vaccs (2 months apart), starting when he was 2. Well we have been himming and haaing over what if anything we want to do next. In an effort to find out what he would be most likely be at risk for I started asking his pediatrician (who I love, and has been understanding thus far), about which ones she would suggest due to illness she has seen, etc. etc.

She got irritated with my questioning (just in an effort to understand fully) and said she thinks he needs to be fully vaccinated and that she wasn't going to spend countless moments of each visit discussing it. Well how the heck am I suppose to give informed consent if I can not even get all of my questions answered. Urgh! Now I am even more frustrated, and unsure of what vacc scheudule to follow. My children are not in preschool or daycare, I homeschool my oldest, 8. They do have a bunch of activities during the week that they are in contact with kids for an hour or two.

All of my kids have been breastfed for 18-24 months and I try to stick to a healthy diet (whole grains, organic food, no dairy (they don't tolerate it), etc. Any thoughts or good places for resources. I have Aviva Romms vacc book and just borrowed Dr. Sears vacc book and "What your Doctor may not tell you about childhood vaccinations."

Why did you choose to or not too vacc against certain diseases??
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#2 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sierramv View Post
I just got back form taking my 3 1/2 year old DS to his yearly check-up. Up to this point he has had three DTaP vaccs (2 months apart), starting when he was 2. Well we have been himming and haaing over what if anything we want to do next. In an effort to find out what he would be most likely be at risk for I started asking his pediatrician (who I love, and has been understanding thus far), about which ones she would suggest due to illness she has seen, etc. etc.

She got irritated with my questioning (just in an effort to understand fully) and said she thinks he needs to be fully vaccinated and that she wasn't going to spend countless moments of each visit discussing it.
Well how the heck am I suppose to give informed consent if I can not even get all of my questions answered. Urgh! Now I am even more frustrated, and unsure of what vacc scheudule to follow. My children are not in preschool or daycare, I homeschool my oldest, 8. They do have a bunch of activities during the week that they are in contact with kids for an hour or two.

All of my kids have been breastfed for 18-24 months and I try to stick to a healthy diet (whole grains, organic food, no dairy (they don't tolerate it), etc. Any thoughts or good places for resources. I have Aviva Romms vacc book and just borrowed Dr. Sears vacc book and "What your Doctor may not tell you about childhood vaccinations."

Why did you choose to or not too vacc against certain diseases??
How disrespectful....perhaps she is not as understanding as you thought?

Given your child's risk factors that you have listed, I wouldn't do anymore frankly. I have a 2 yo unvaxed DS. He is in daycare full time and still BF occasionally. No plans to get any for him any time soon, although I am always learning new info and am open to changing my mind.

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

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#3 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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I don't think that was very respectful of her to say she doesn't have time for your questions (but at the same time, I'm not surprised, she just wants you to get all the vaxes & probably hasn't even considered herself that some may be more worthwhile than others). I don't have any book suggestions for you, I do most of my research on the internet, but I would recommend that you look at each vax one by one & use a variety of resources to make your decision (surprisingly, the vax inserts themselves as well as the CDC website are the ones that convinced me NOT to vax ).

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#4 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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Honestly, I think you need a new Dr. One who actually can take the time to listen to you.

Maybe post over in the FYT area for some good resources.

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#5 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 03:52 PM
 
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wow that sounds like a super disrespectful doctor, just thought you should know i was never vaxed i am now 21 i went to public schools, pools and activities and never got anything but chicken pox
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#6 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 03:55 PM
 
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Honestly, at his age I wouldn't get anything else. He's out of the danger zone for a lot of the "infant vaxes" and, considering your lifestyle, anything he'll come in contact with will probably be low risk.

I also agree to get a new doc. That was VERY rude and would be a deal breaker for me. I understand that doctors are busy but, in my opinion, I am your most important patient as long as you're in the room with me.

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#7 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 04:49 PM
 
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How frustrating! Let's hope she was just having a bad day. Even so, that was unacceptable. Since she's seemed like a good doc so far and knows your child's medical history I'd try one last time with her. I'd probably try to make an appt that was specifically for talking about all of the vaxxes and answering your questions. Then I'd go in with a list of questions and concerns. (An actual list, because I tend to forget unless I have it written down right in front of me) Then maybe she won't feel like she's wasting time because you have a whole appointment set aside just for that very purpose. I hope things work out for you. Let us know how it goes!
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#8 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sierramv View Post
I

Any thoughts or good places for resources. I have Aviva Romms vacc book and just borrowed Dr. Sears vacc book and "What your Doctor may not tell you about childhood vaccinations."

Why did you choose to or not too vacc against certain diseases??
Spend heaps of time going through this forum's archives to answer that last question. The archives are rich with information, links and resources.

Stephanie Caves book is good but somewhat outdated. Robert Sears is pro-vax and basically has you administering all of the vaxes on a different schedule. I haven't read Romm's book yet, but I believe that she is mostly anti-vax. Read all of them and draw your own conclusions. Now that you're out of the doctor's office, you're free to think for yourself again.

Here's a great DVD that you should get a hold of, as well:
http://www.amazon.com/Vaccinations-O...3532471&sr=8-2

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#9 of 18 Old 05-10-2010, 10:42 PM
 
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Perhaps you should just write a letter to the doctor with a list of vaccines you are considering and the pros and cons you have figured out for yourself. By the time you are done writing the letter you may have already made up your mind and then you can just tell the doctor what you want to do. If you are still unsure after you write the letter, then send it in and ask her if you can make an appointment to go over the specific questions you have raised.

My guess is that the doctor doesn't actually know much about vaccines (many don't) nor about the related illnesses (again, many don't) and also doesn't want to spend a lot of time talking to you because she is expected to whip the patients in and out like tops. But sending her a letter would take off a lot of the pressure and give her some time to quietly consider the specific questions you've got.

If she still blows you off, find another doctor!
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#10 of 18 Old 05-11-2010, 01:44 AM
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My guess is that the doctor doesn't actually know much about vaccines (many don't) nor about the related illnesses \
I'd bet this is exactly the reason for her impatient and brusque manner. She needed to shut you down or risk admitting her lack of knowledge on the subject.

If you like and trust her otherwise, I'd make up my own mind about what vax you want to get and simply not ask her opinion on this particular topic.

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
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#11 of 18 Old 05-11-2010, 03:31 AM
 
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I am reading Dr. Tenpenny's book, Saying No To Vaccines and Neil Z ******'s book, Vaccine Safety Manual for Concerned Families and Health Practitioners, 2nd Edition: Guide to Immunization Risks and Protection.
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#12 of 18 Old 05-11-2010, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank You all for your thoughts/support. I think your right, she probably was more uninformed than I was. It makes sense now after thinking about her reaction. She is definately pro-vax but we had that conversation that I would be vaxing for only a few things before we started going to her.

I am going to write her a letter in regards to my intentions and vax schedule, after I research it on my own. Then hopefully at my next Dr. Appt. she will be more willing/ready to discuss things. Thanks again!
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#13 of 18 Old 05-11-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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One way to avoid conflict with people you want to get along with is to make things easy for them.

Don't, for example, confront them with a complicated question they might need to research and think about when they only have a few minutes.

I feel sort of sorry for doctors when it comes to vaccines. It has turned into this huge question and many of them really don't know much. Except that vaccines are wonderful.
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#14 of 18 Old 05-12-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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Since when is the customer an annoyance? I am seeing more and more "annoyed" doctors over this issue. I posted a few weeks ago this same frustration. I have a caring doctor, but who does not want to "delay" or otherwise mess up his schedule or answer any tough questions. I think if more and more of us present printed out studies from medical journals during our visits, we might - just might - have one of them start listening to us. All they hear is the PBS stories and the USA Today articles on the subject.

After all, WE are PAYING them to care for our children, not for giving us orders.

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#15 of 18 Old 05-12-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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Again, I'd suggest putting your concern in writing, with references.

You could even say something like this:

Quote:
I have what I think are valid concerns about vaccines. If you are not willing to actually address these concerns, then you are asking me to risk the health of my child based on faith in your authority. I'm not going to do that.
Doctors can bully and dismiss parents during visits, but parents can lay down ultimatums in writing and, IMO, pull it off. The worst that that can happen is that the doctor will dismiss you from the practice and the best thing in that situation is to have a paper trail of reasonable requests for documented information on vaccine safety, followed by a negative response from the practice and the boot.

Even more fun would be to publish the correspondence...
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#16 of 18 Old 05-13-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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Honestly, I think you need a new Dr. One who actually can take the time to listen to you.
This. We skip some shots and delay some others and DD's ped doesn't fully agree with this, but she always answers any questions I have, even if she ends up saying "I'll have to look that up, let's wait and talk about it at her next visit". There's a few shots I don't want DD getting on schedule and I have no idea why and she's given me the sheets,talked to me, told me to research it on my own, call her with questions and that if I'm still not comfortable we can always wait a few appointments. You're paying this person and they need to at least respect your decision, even if they don't agree.

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#17 of 18 Old 05-13-2010, 02:57 PM
 
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Given how much they are paid I expect any doctor we use to answer my questions. If I had yours I would be requesting a copy of the medical files and not looking back.

As for vaccines I have done none for my 11yo and 8yo.It is near impossible to prove vaccine injury despite so many adverse reaction/illnesses being listed for each vaccine. If my child dies as a result of a vaccine I am again left with having to prove the vaccine caused the death.

The illnesses are treatable.My mom survived diphtheria as a young adult.No fun I know,but she survived.Life is short and I don't want to spent it treating vaccine related illnesses that the doctors say are not caused by the vaccine.I have dealt with that myself when it came to the hepB vaccine.

You need to cover each vaccine and each disease.Check out your state health Dept. online.They usually have stats for all areas of the diseases that have been reported.

Whether you vaccinate or not know your diseases and know you vaccine reactions.Keep good records.And be vocal about what you want for yourself and your kids.Your doctors are humans just like you.They make mistakes,have off days,and give attitude at times. Let them know if you are unhappy with them,and move on if they don't improve.
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#18 of 18 Old 05-15-2010, 02:00 AM
 
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It is very frustrating to build a relationship with a doctor and then be treated the way you were.


I really liked Romm's book. I think she comes across as neutral. I really like the way she lays out information about each disease, because frankly, I could not have told you one thing about diphtheria other than "it's bad" before reading this book. I think the information she gives is empowering. She is not telling you what to do and does not have an agenda other than to inform.

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