Kids vaccinated without my consent - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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Vaccinations > Kids vaccinated without my consent
purslaine's Avatar purslaine 01:04 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post




And I wonder if her ex would be livid if they contracted a VPD and suffered consequences.  I think it goes both ways here.  Yes, it's crappy that her ex did it without talking to her about it first, but they're his kids too. 

 

I don't think it would be possible to sue.  Can you imagine that lawsuit?  "Well judge, my my child's father gave them medical care that 95% of kids get."  I can't see any judge taking it seriously if he had any type of custody.

 


I get your point.

 

I wonder how custody is laid out - if decisions are supposed to be made jointly then she has a right to be upset the child was vaxxed against her will.  That should have been a decision they hashed out together, and with mediation or in court if they could not come to an agreement.  

 

To just go behind someones back and do something in a non-emergency type situation shake.gif

 

The suing comment was made in regards to if the child needed care medical care after an adverse vaccine reaction that happened because the father chose to vaccinate the kids.  If there was no harm done suing is pointless.

 

A lot of the above hinges on what exactly the custody arrangement entails.

 

In any event, in some places there are legal aide clinics or free legal advice available - the Op could call and see if she has any recourse if she feels inclined.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 01:21 PM 07-27-2011

I doubt, just based on what's in the OP, that decisions have to be made jointly. She said she lost temporary custody. That could mean physical custody or physical and legal custody. Best case scenario, the dad has primary physical and the mom and dad share joint legal. If that's the situation, then usually it's a case of "dad has to consult mom over medical decisions but if they don't agree then dad's view trumps mom's because he has physical custody". Courts don't want parents running to them every time they disagree on whether little Johny should get a vaccine or antibiotics or whatever.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

I wonder how custody is laid out - if decisions are supposed to be made jointly then she has a right to be upset the child was vaxxed against her will.  That should have been a decision they hashed out together, and with mediation or in court if they could not come to an agreement. 


purslaine's Avatar purslaine 01:32 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post

I doubt, just based on what's in the OP, that decisions have to be made jointly. She said she lost temporary custody. That could mean physical custody or physical and legal custody. Best case scenario, the dad has primary physical and the mom and dad share joint legal. If that's the situation, then usually it's a case of "dad has to consult mom over medical decisions but if they don't agree then dad's view trumps mom's because he has physical custody". Courts don't want parents running to them every time they disagree on whether little Johny should get a vaccine or antibiotics or whatever.
 



You may right - the Op isn't around to clarify what exactly the situation is (shrug).  She could talk to someone in family law if she is inclined.

 

As per the bolded, vaccines are not minor to some of us.  Hopefully the custody situation is laid out in such a way as it is clear who makes the decisions.  

 

Another good place to ask questions about decision making and custody might be on the single parent forum.  


Honey693's Avatar Honey693 01:38 PM 07-27-2011

It does suck that they couldn't come to a mutually agreeable decision though.  Parenting is hard enough work without having to argue over medical care. 


StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 01:46 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post





You may right - the Op isn't around to clarify what exactly the situation is (shrug).  She could talk to someone in family law if she is inclined.

 

As per the bolded, vaccines are not minor to some of us.  Hopefully the custody situation is laid out in such a way as it is clear who makes the decisions.  

 

Another good place to ask questions about decision making and custody might be on the single parent forum.  


I never said it was. Nor did I say what my view on vaccines are (other than that my ds has gotten some). But I do have joint legal custody of my ds (and sole physical) so I've been through this, to a degree. It sucks when the other parent either does something you don't agree with or won't allow you to get your child medical care that they need (which is the situation I'm in right now).

 


swede's Avatar swede 04:25 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post




I get your point.

 

I wonder how custody is laid out - if decisions are supposed to be made jointly then she has a right to be upset the child was vaxxed against her will.  That should have been a decision they hashed out together, and with mediation or in court if they could not come to an agreement.  

 

To just go behind someones back and do something in a non-emergency type situation shake.gif

 

The suing comment was made in regards to if the child needed care medical care after an adverse vaccine reaction that happened because the father chose to vaccinate the kids.  If there was no harm done suing is pointless.

 

A lot of the above hinges on what exactly the custody arrangement entails.

 

In any event, in some places there are legal aide clinics or free legal advice available - the Op could call and see if she has any recourse if she feels inclined.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




Even if there was an adverse reaction, who would sue the child's other parent for his care??  Also, aren't adverse reactions relating to vaccines extremely difficult to prove?


swede's Avatar swede 04:26 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

While I would never abandon or advocate abandoning ones children due to suffering a reaction, I would be beyond livid if an ex vaccinated children against my will and they suffered consequences.  If it were at all possible I would sue.  

 

Op....could you write a letter to whatever doctor the ex used and state your custody situation and that you are opposed to vaccination at this time?  Some doctors might vax anyways - but some may not over fear of litigation.

 

Ok - I reread your OP.  Is your objection on file with the state?  That might be more for school exemptions and not a database doctors use.  If doctors are supposed to check it before vaxxing you might have some recourse.  I would call up where-ever the exemption is filed and ask a few questions on whether doctors are supposed to access the exemption before vaxxing.  

 

 

 

 

You would sue your child's other parent?  
 

 


purslaine's Avatar purslaine 05:36 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post



 

You would sue your child's other parent?  
 

 



Maybe - it would depend on a lot of circumstances (including their involvement in care and their willingness to pay for medical costs associated with an adverse vaccine reaction).  I would have to decide whether the benefits outweighed the cost (financial, relationships, time).  Whether or not it is winnable would enter into, and let's face it - vax reactions are hard to prove.

 

I might also go for full custody or a custody agreement with more teeth to it. (I get this might not be applicable to the OP) IMNSHO circumventing the other parent and knowingly seeking medical care the other parent is opposed to is wrong.  If this were a one time issue, I might let it slide, if there was a pattern of doing things behind my back that that should be joint decisions I would do something about it.  I would not be passive about it.

 

 

This would hold for other medical decisions as well - it is not exclusively a vax issue.


sosurreal09's Avatar sosurreal09 05:49 PM 07-27-2011

IDK how much authority the GF really has here...I mean come on did he REALLY sign some paper saying she was allowed to take the kids in? Wouldn't you have to sign too? It is your kids....


Honey693's Avatar Honey693 06:17 PM 07-27-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

IDK how much authority the GF really has here...I mean come on did he REALLY sign some paper saying she was allowed to take the kids in? Wouldn't you have to sign too? It is your kids....


I don't think both parents have to sign.  I'm the only one who signs medical papers for my kids b/c I'm the one who takes them.  Our doctor knows my husband too b/c he also sees her (I love family practitioners).

 


StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 06:18 PM 07-27-2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

IDK how much authority the GF really has here...I mean come on did he REALLY sign some paper saying she was allowed to take the kids in? Wouldn't you have to sign too? It is your kids....


My ex has never had to sign any paper approving any medical care (including vaccines) for my ds. Quite frankly, the doctors don't care and it's not their job to get in the middle of these arguments. As long as they have a parent approval (in this case, probably verbal from the gf saying the dad approved) then that's all they need.
sosurreal09's Avatar sosurreal09 04:14 AM 07-28-2011

But it wasn't her ex it was his GF. So I could just send my DD to the Drs with a friend and she could perform any medical procedure she wanted on my kid?


StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 06:59 AM 07-28-2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

But it wasn't her ex it was his GF. So I could just send my DD to the Drs with a friend and she could perform any medical procedure she wanted on my kid?


Pretty much, yeah. I could have sent my ds to the dr with my (now) dh (who is not the bio dad) and nobody would blink an eye. Lots of nannies take their charges to the dr for routine appointments, including getting vaccines. Do a quick search here and you'll find posts about grandparents who got the kids a vaccine without parental permission.
sosurreal09's Avatar sosurreal09 07:45 AM 07-28-2011

WOW I am floored right now. I never thought that could happen! So if you signed a vax waiver are you all set then or did OP do that and her kids still got vaxed?


StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 08:08 AM 07-28-2011

That would depend on a) where the person took the kid to get vaccinated and b) how good your dr is. If you have something filed with your kiddos dr AND the dr agrees with it, I doubt he/she would vaccinate your kiddo without you specifically telling him/her to. But if you have something filed with your dr and the other person takes the kiddo to the health department or another doctor then that dr has no way of knowing you have an exemption and would probably vaccinate. I've heard stories of people taking kids across state lines to get him/her vaccinated without the parents consent before. It sucks, but it happens. Number 1 reason why my MIL will never ever be left alone with this baby. Among many other reasons, I don't trust her to not do something like that (and she's already mentioned that I need to pick a certain pediatrician because the office is close to her house and she's familiar with the area so she could take the baby. Guess which pediatrician we aren't picking?).


TheGirls's Avatar TheGirls 08:21 AM 07-28-2011

I bring my sons to the doctor by myself, and have since they were born.  They aren't my biokids (DP is the biomom for them) and I hadn't started adoption procedures yet, but the docs never had a problem with me making medical decisions for them. They'd have been thrilled to let me vax them.  I've never had to sign for vaxes for any of my kids (we are selective/delayed). 


amnesiac's Avatar amnesiac 08:39 AM 07-28-2011
In reviewing this thread, I see that several of the disrespectful posts I asked to be edited remain unedited. I will be sending PMs today and then I will remove any remaining posts that are unnecessarily rude and disrespectful tomorrow morning. Thanks for helping maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere.


ETA, thanks to everyone who edited any inflammatory or offensive comments from their posts. We appreciate you helping us to maintain a comfortable and respectful posting atmosphere. I did remove 2 posts by members who chose not to edit as requested.
purslaine's Avatar purslaine 12:10 PM 07-29-2011


nm

 

 


Honey693's Avatar Honey693 12:23 PM 07-29-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam View Post

Your husband needs to take more responsibility for raising your children as a father and not pass his responsibilities off to his girlfriend.    

 

I am terribly sorry this happened to you as a mother.  That is just terrible.  Just the same, I hope they will continue to be healthy.



Why are you assuming the father isn't taking responsibility?  The gf could just have an easier schedule to work with so dad asked her to take the kids to the appointment b/c it's easier.  I always take my kids b/c my schedule is much easier to work around than my husband's.  That doesn't mean he's not involved in their care.  I'm just really annoyed by the fact that you seem to think this father is an irresponsible slack without knowing much about the situation.


amma_mama's Avatar amma_mama 06:45 AM 07-31-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam View Post

Your husband needs to take more responsibility for raising your children as a father and not pass his responsibilities off to his girlfriend.    

 

I am terribly sorry this happened to you as a mother.  That is just terrible.  Just the same, I hope they will continue to be healthy.


Just because his legitimate medical choices are different than the OP (and you), there is no reason to presume that he is passing off his responsibilities. His belief in vaccinations is no less legitimate and is, perhaps, more so since he is the custodial parent. It is too bad that they cannot agree on vaccinations, but that does not make him irresponsible just because he had another trusted adult bring his child to a doctor's visit and carry out his directions.

 


cynthia mosher's Avatar cynthia mosher 04:35 PM 07-31-2011

Let's return the discussion to what the OP asked about - legal recourse. If you have more advice, knowledge or resources to share with her please do so but the side discussions should stop so the thread can stay on topic.  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamawrites612 View Post

I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old daughter that I lost temporary custody of to my ex-husband. His girlfriend recently took my daughters to my family doctor and vaccinated my kids without my consent. I expressed my outrage to the clinic and got nothing but a letter showing what other vaxes they need--currently my 7-year-old has had 20 vaccinations, when I had a conscientious exemption on file with her school and the clinic knew my intentions. My ex-husband was working when the girls were taken to the doctor by his girlfriend and he claims it was legal because he gave her permission to take them to the doctor.

 

Is this true or do I have any legal recourse?



 


CarrieMF's Avatar CarrieMF 09:59 PM 07-31-2011

 

 

Quote:
So I could just send my DD to the Drs with a friend and she could perform any medical procedure she wanted on my kid?

 

For all we know the appointment was previously set up to include vaccines.  unless the GF had to sign a paper then nothing wrong has happened here.

 

If the Dad has legal custody to make medical appointments then the op has no legal case against him.


Tags: Child Custody Legal Decisions And Family Outcomes , Child Custody Guide Everything You Need To Know , Remedial And Surrogate Parenting In The Custodial Arena
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