Bribing Children for Receiving Vaccines - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 34Likes
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-17-2014, 06:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
emmy526's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Bribing Children for Receiving Vaccines

Who does this? Telling the child they'll get a 'treat' for behaving like a 'soldier' for vaccines...what does a treat accomplish after getting a vaccine?
emmy526 is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-17-2014, 10:27 AM
 
teacozy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 1,588
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 437 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmy526 View Post
Who does this? Telling the child they'll get a 'treat' for behaving like a 'soldier' for vaccines...what does a treat accomplish after getting a vaccine?
In older children it can make the day less anxiety ridden and more fun?

I'm not sure what the outrage is. I used to hate going to the dentist and I remember being 11 or 12 and my mom promising to take me to eat at P.F. Changs (my then favorite restaurant) and a movie afterwards. It gave me something to look forward to. I still remember it being a really fun day since I got to leave school early, go to a movie in the middle of the week and eat at my favorite restaurant.

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.” ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
teacozy is offline  
Old 07-17-2014, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
emmy526's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by teacozy View Post
In older children it can make the day less anxiety ridden and more fun?

I'm not sure what the outrage is. I used to hate going to the dentist and I remember being 11 or 12 and my mom promising to take me to eat at P.F. Changs (my then favorite restaurant) and a movie afterwards. It gave me something to look forward to. I still remember it being a really fun day since I got to leave school early, go to a movie in the middle of the week and eat at my favorite restaurant.
Who said anything about an 'outrage'?
emmy526 is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 10:37 AM
 
teacozy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 1,588
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 437 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmy526 View Post
Who said anything about an 'outrage'?
The tone in the OP sounded pretty judgmental and "outragey" to me.

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.” ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
teacozy is offline  
Old 07-17-2014, 10:47 AM
 
kathymuggle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,226
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 227 Post(s)
meh.


We regularly hit up a restaurant after the dentist. I am not sure it is brilliant (rewarding ones-self with food) but hey.


Now saying "behaving like a soldier" icks me out somewhat. (are soldiers always brave? Do you have to be? Glorifying soldiers?). I would not use that wording - but not my kid, not a big deal.

There is a battle of two wolves inside us.  One is good and the other is evil.  The wolf that wins is the one you feed.

 

Book and herb loving mama to 1 preteen and 2 teens (when did that happen?).  We travel, go to school, homeschool, live rurally, eat our veggies, spend too much time...

kathymuggle is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 01:03 PM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,407
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 126 Post(s)
NO, NEVER

When my DD was getting vaccinated or had a medical apt of any time it was never treated as a reward afterwards. Her Ped never gave prizes or treats and really discouraged it. It was to be viewed as what you had to do.

Same with sports, or chores, we don't see a reward of any type appropriate. You don't get something for showing up. It's expected that is what you do. Participation does not warrant reward in our world.

I can not see a positive in a reward of any type. I would not want the connect being made.

I agree with Kathy, that phrase bothers me a great deal!

That phrase is not in our vernacular! I find it wrong on so many levels.

 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
Old 07-17-2014, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
emmy526's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenbat View Post
NO, NEVER

When my DD was getting vaccinated or had a medical apt of any time it was never treated as a reward afterwards. Her Ped never gave prizes or treats and really discouraged it. It was to be viewed as what you had to do.

Same with sports, or chores, we don't see a reward of any type appropriate. You don't get something for showing up. It's expected that is what you do. Participation does not warrant reward in our world.

I can not see a positive in a reward of any type. I would not want the connect being made.

I agree with Kathy, that phrase bothers me a great deal!

That phrase is not in our vernacular! I find it wrong on so many levels.
I agree, yet so many parents use the term to describe their children when receiving vaccines. It's especially noticeable on fb, where parents seem to like to brag about their little 'soldier' with pics and everything of the whole appt. Really? Who broadcasts their child's medical visits public info like that and whats the point of it? Seems like more and more parents are doing this with the iphone capabilities that exist. While i agree to an extent, some video footage of before and after an appt can be beneficial in the event of an adverse outcome of the visit - - but in general, i find posting children's dr appts on fb which include showing the child receiving vaccines and in obvious distress, to be very distasteful. Then the video ends with the parent announcing they are taking said child out for a (gmo) meal or sugary treat for being so 'brave'.
emmy526 is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 01:53 PM
 
samaxtics's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 149 Post(s)
Depends on who is doing the bribing/"rewarding".

I have an issue with anyone outside of the family doing it. Like when they tried to bribe kids with electronic devices to vaccinate.

I'm not a fan of the "behave like a soldier" either. What? like "follow orders or you'll be court martialed"?
samaxtics is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 03:30 PM
 
prosciencemum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,828
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 144 Post(s)
We do have treats after unpleasant experiences. It's not always food. Andi don't view it as a bribe, but a distraction to deflect from the negative memories into something positive.

This thread made me laugh actually. We're US bound this summer so facing the reams of paperwork and medical checks you guys seem to think is helpful in order for kids to go to summer camps. Ended up having to take the littlest in for a well check (not normally done here) to get the forms signed off and he was very unimpressed. Refused to talk to the dr and kicked her when she tried to examine him.

As we left dr told him he wouldn't get a sticker as he hadn't been good, but that I could have one for being a good mum!

He did get 2 stickers and a certificate for being brave when he got his last shots though.
prosciencemum is offline  
Old 07-17-2014, 04:14 PM
 
kathymuggle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,226
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 227 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by prosciencemum View Post
We do have treats after unpleasant experiences. It's not always food. Andi don't view it as a bribe, but a distraction to deflect from the negative memories into something positive.
<snip>

He did get 2 stickers and a certificate for being brave when he got his last shots though.
I am not really trying to turn negative memories into positive memories. I am ok with them coming to their own conclusions about an experience without me trying to alter it. It is ok if they view something objectively. It is more about how life is short - so let's balance out the bad with some good? I am not sure I am being clear (a bit of train-of-thought writing is going on here…)

It is ok with me if they do not like the denist/getting a needle (for bloodwork) ect. I don't. I do it anyways. But yeah, I will reward myself afterwards for having done it - so I guess it is about reward. I guess I am ok with teaching kids to treat themselves well and have fun with life, and if a treat after an unpleasant event makes up for the ickiness, that is good.

I never promise things as rewards for doing something. That is a bit too much carrot/stick for me. You are doing it, treat or not, if it is important.

I also don't reward bravery at a doctor/dentist visit. I don't expect kids to be brave at a visit and if they are afraid, that is ok. I expect them to behave and I do try and talk people through fear. I don't think I would do a certificate for bravery post visit, although I don't think I would turn one down if a hcp pressed one on my child (that creates other issues). I might talk to them afterwards about how being brave is ok, and their certificate is cool, but being fearful is ok as well and how mummy is sometimes nervous at the denists, but does it anyways.

There is a battle of two wolves inside us.  One is good and the other is evil.  The wolf that wins is the one you feed.

 

Book and herb loving mama to 1 preteen and 2 teens (when did that happen?).  We travel, go to school, homeschool, live rurally, eat our veggies, spend too much time...

kathymuggle is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 08:41 PM
 
katelove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,894
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 32 Post(s)
I am fine with treats (and I think "treat" can have a very broad definition) after something unpleasant. As adults we do it all the time. Most of us have some version of "after I finish [chore I don't much like] I will read my new magazine/have a bubble bath etc" I think it is pretty natural to want to alternate not much fun with fun. For us it isn't a bribe because it's not dependant on the behaviour. Feel free to cry if you want to, you will still get the treat. And it's not even really carrot/stick because, if I've made the decision that the procedure is going to happen then it will happen regardless of behaviour.

Maybe I have a different perspective from working in ED but I also have *no* problem with using electronics. In fact I actively encourage it. It is a million times better than swaddling and holding down a child or using procedural sedation and IME works better than most other distraction techniques such as reading a book. A while ago now my husband was able to suture the head of a 3yo, including inserting local which stings!, while the child watched a movie under the drape. No tears, no swaddling and best of all, no hospital phobia to deal with next time and the the time after that and every time that child presents to a HCP for the rest of their lives. And believe me, I've seen plenty of those as well. So yes, all hail the electronic device in paediatric care, IMO.
katelove is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 08:48 PM
 
samaxtics's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 149 Post(s)
Quote:
Depends on who is doing the bribing/"rewarding".

I have an issue with anyone outside of the family doing it. Like when they tried to bribe kids with electronic devices to vaccinate.
Just to clarify, when I brought up electronics it was in the context of authorities offering children/teens chances to win electronics (iPad, iPod) if they receive one, or become up to date, with a/their vaccine/vaccinations.
samaxtics is online now  
Old 07-17-2014, 11:41 PM
 
Turquesa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 4,066
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
http://www.examiner.com/article/immu...ise-hawks-game

I don't mind bribing my own kids. We already have an ice cream tradition after shots.

It's when the State bribes them that it gets a little weird and crosses the line for me.

In God we trust; all others must show data. selectivevax.gifsurf.gifteapot2.GIFintactivist.gif
Turquesa is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 01:32 AM
 
katelove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,894
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 32 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by samaxtics View Post
Just to clarify, when I brought up electronics it was in the context of authorities offering children/teens chances to win electronics (iPad, iPod) if they receive one, or become up to date, with a/their vaccine/vaccinations.
Oh, I see. I had no idea that happened. Yes, I'm against that.
katelove is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 05:26 AM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,407
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 126 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by prosciencemum View Post

As we left dr told him he wouldn't get a sticker as he hadn't been good, but that I could have one for being a good mum!

He did get 2 stickers and a certificate for being brave when he got his last shots though.
Sounds a lot like he was shamed prior to getting the stickers in the end. I didn't feel many supported shaming with attached parenting, very sad

 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
Old 07-18-2014, 08:42 AM
 
sassyfirechick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,624
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by samaxtics View Post
I'm not a fan of the "behave like a soldier" either. What? like "follow orders or you'll be court martialed"?
Seriously, way to start the brainwashing early - hey kids suck it up, be a soldier (aka be a man) - uh sexist much? Blindly follow orders, never question anything you are told....there is so much wrong with that statement and I can't think of any situation where that would be appropriate.

Agreed with serenbat on the shaming of the kid...that's horrible and how sad for him that he was belittled for showing his feelings....better we teach kids to hide those pesky things and for doing so we will reward them....
sassyfirechick is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 09:11 AM
 
kathymuggle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,226
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 227 Post(s)
Well, to defend psm a bit….if stickers are given by the doctor to reward good behaviour (ick) then I am not sure her son did deserve a sticker. That would be inconsistant and confusing. He did kick the doctor.

I thought it was bit odd to give the mom a sticker, though. That is a bit "rubbing the salt in the wound" for me. PSM did not need a sticker, the doctor was being a bit of a douche, IMHO.

I don't think stickers or anything else should be a reward for good behaviour at the doctors office. In fact , now that I think about it, stickers are not commonly given out by doctors after visits where I live. They are given out by dentists - but they are in a box and to the best of my knowledge all kids are allowed to go get one after the visit. It isn't tied to behaviour. It also places control in the parents hands - if they want their child to have sticker, they get a sticker. If they don't, for whatever reason, they don't.

There is a battle of two wolves inside us.  One is good and the other is evil.  The wolf that wins is the one you feed.

 

Book and herb loving mama to 1 preteen and 2 teens (when did that happen?).  We travel, go to school, homeschool, live rurally, eat our veggies, spend too much time...

kathymuggle is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 09:34 AM
 
samaxtics's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 149 Post(s)
Hey, if it weren't for the dentist, my childhood would have been totally jewelry-free.
(of course I'm pretty sure my lead exposure would have been a lot less too)
samaxtics is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 10:12 AM
 
mama24-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: with the dust bunnies
Posts: 2,436
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
I've heard this in regards to infant circumcision as well. Be a man. Macho BS. People don't know how to deal w/ emotions (they're own or others) so they try to tell people what to do. Sick. Sick. Sick.

Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
mama24-7 is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 10:23 AM
 
mariamadly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,600
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 94 Post(s)
Well, I've been a (U.S.) soldier's wife for almost thirty years now and have seen no blind obedience and plenty of questioning. When someone has tried to abuse power, others have stood up to him . . . or her. People using a simplistic turn of phrase like that -- to manipulate behavior, of all things -- just make themselves sound like heedless, knuckle-dragging asswipes. I would think those of us who disparage that kind of use of terminology would be able to avoid generalizing about an entire profession.

As for, umm, "incentivizing" medical situations, when my 24 and 21 year-old sons were much younger a nurse was discussing their food allergies with me. I mentioned that we sent safe treats in to school for when someone brought food for parties, etc., and the nurse said, "Great idea! It's important to reward them when they don't eat something they might be allergic to." O_o

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
mariamadly is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 10:25 AM
 
mariamadly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,600
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 94 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama24-7 View Post
I've heard this in regards to infant circumcision as well. Be a man. Macho BS. People don't know how to deal w/ emotions (they're own or others) so they try to tell people what to do. Sick. Sick. Sick.

Sus
Absolutely. I mean, you cut what?!?!?!? And "being a man" means someone's supposed to like it? Sometimes we just don't think about what comes out of our mouths.

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
mariamadly is online now  
Old 07-18-2014, 10:40 AM
 
mama24-7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: with the dust bunnies
Posts: 2,436
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mariamadly View Post
Absolutely. I mean, you cut what?!?!?!? And "being a man" means someone's supposed to like it? Sometimes we just don't think about what comes out of our mouths.
I wish it were only sometimes!

Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
mama24-7 is online now  
Old 07-20-2014, 08:39 PM
 
Ratchet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 617
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 41 Post(s)
A sticker at all office visits is good IMO if it helps the child have a good association with the office. It should be unrelated to behavior. A child should be held to their usual standard of being good while there, separate from the sticker. That behavior can be reinforced or discouraged in the same way you would in a grocery store or visiting your great aunt in the nursing home or whatever. I remember being bored at the mall as much more torture than shots.
Ratchet is offline  
Old 07-21-2014, 12:18 AM
 
prosciencemum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,828
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 144 Post(s)
Didn't realise my sticker comment would cause so much controversy! I think in reality she couldn't find the stickers and was joking.

I agree that some positive associations are good. We go to the dr so rarely actually that I think sone of the issue was the vague memory of the "scratchy medicine" (their explanation to him) at our last visit. But he did also remember the cookie I brought and the sticker and certificate they provided....
prosciencemum is offline  
Old 07-21-2014, 07:21 AM
 
samaxtics's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 149 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by prosciencemum View Post
Didn't realise my sticker comment would cause so much controversy! I think in reality she couldn't find the stickers and was joking.

I agree that some positive associations are good. We go to the dr so rarely actually that I think sone of the issue was the vague memory of the "scratchy medicine" (their explanation to him) at our last visit. But he did also remember the cookie I brought and the sticker and certificate they provided....
So she couldn't find the kid stickers but found the good mum stickers?

I'm also wondering what the certificate was for, as I find receiving certificates for undergoing medical procedures (and it is not like the child has a choice kwim?) a little disturbing when I think of it in the social engineering context, and looking at the bigger picture not something I would want for my child even if I were pro-vax.
samaxtics is online now  
Old 07-21-2014, 11:48 AM
 
prosciencemum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,828
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 144 Post(s)
No stickers exchanged hands. It was a (supportive in my view) joke/comment about how life can be difficult when you're a mum.

The certificate was for bravery I believe.
prosciencemum is offline  
Old 07-21-2014, 12:53 PM
 
samaxtics's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 149 Post(s)
Someone once tried to bribe my son with ASD with stickers. She said "let's get to work and you can have some stickers". He called her a stupid woman.

I'd like to think it was because he knew people who work get pay checks, not stickers.
But if she had read the pre-appointment interview she would have known about his aversion to stickers.

I'm still not a fan of the message (however subliminal) that these medical/professional offices are sending children, and that is "submit (IOW don't try to assert autonomy over your body or assert your will) and you will be rewarded".
samaxtics is online now  
Old 07-21-2014, 03:19 PM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,407
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 126 Post(s)
Again, bravery is not what I feel should in anyway be associated with ANY thing medical!

I find that term also as offensive. When I read (I know this really bothers others too) of someone who dies of cancer and it's worded that they "lost their battle", "faced it with bravery", that implies those who didn't were NOT.

Wrong message in so many ways. Why would going to any type of medical provider need to imply one is brave? You can't or shouldn't feel scared? AND if you do, that is viewed as negative? To do this to a child IMO is just not a message that should be sent/implied or accepted.

 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off