“If vaccines work so well, why are you afraid of the unvaccinated?”
The only time I really see this argument used is in response to antagonizing, badgering and as a fairly snarky/sarcastic response to arguments about the perceived threats of unvaxxed in the population - regardless of reasons for being unvaxxed. It doesn't show up nearly as much on here as some other avenues of info sharing, but it happens.
I don't agree at all with comparing it to guns in the home (maybe because we are gun owners and staunch advocates for proper training, use and safety for gun owners and non-gun owners alike), but maybe because I don't view guns in even remotely the same category as vaccines.
I read both of the articles, including the follow up of how to approach asking other parents about their child's vax status before a play date...wow. Ballsy much? In the case of two otherwise heatlhy kids playing, vax status shouldn't even come into the picture. Perhaps if your child is undergoing chemo you may want to know vax status - both for disease and disease shedding purposes. But to ask just because you feel your child is at risk? I'd walk away as quickly as possible because I know that's not a friendship I'd even be remotely able to maintain - someone prying into my personal medical decisions and whatnot.
“I know you may not be comfortable asking, so just to let you know, my kids are fully vaccinated because I do everything possible to protect them from disease. I sure hope yours are too.”
I'm offended by her assumption that because I don't vaccinate then clearly I'm not doing everything possible to protect my child - the whole vaccines are magical protective bubbles that just don't always work thus the need for everyone to get them in order for them to work fully...
The petty comments go both ways and it all comes to this - it's no one's damn business.
Her fictitious conversations are a bit annoying bc were I on the other end I wouldn't even entertain someone with answers if their prerogative is just to find out my family's vax status to determine whether or not we can be friends.
Yhis in particular is a deal breaker for me:
We’re so excited to have you see the new baby! Of course I’m a Nervous Nelly until he can have his shots, so we’ve been asking everyone we come in contact with if they’re up to date on their immunizations. I’m sure you understand. We’d do anything to keep our baby healthy.
It's one thing to make that decision for your own family. But to try and push that onto others is more than I can handle. And it's the particular wording (the bolded part) that irks me the most about it. I don't care if someone says they want to stay home and minimize contact with others in the beginning. It bothers me when people ask that family/friends be up to date before they visit until the baby can be vaxxed, but I can live with not seeing your kid, won't be the end of the world for me. It makes my blood boil when they feel the need to add those little digs that they would do anything
to keep their kid healthy and if you don't do all that they do then that's borderline child abuse.
Just one more way this issue gets further and further divided into an us vs them and it shouldn't be like that. I want to be able to make my decisions without harassment and jumping through hoops just as much as the next person. But this new push on how to approach people to discuss their vaccine status....well it's not new really, no more new than asking someone if they were a Jew. History always repeats itself and we still can't seem to learn anything from it.
I like the way Deborah listed out what factors play into these decisions. For us it goes somewhat like this:
1. Food awareness - DD has food sensitivities. If I cannot be reasonably sure that someone is capable to complying with her restrictions and sticking to foods she is used to eating, I certainly won't allow her unsupervised time there but would also monitor closely to see how they handled it: Do they mock or tease her? Do they treat her food issues with respect or do they interrogate her/me? do they deliberately feed her things behind my back that she should not be having (yes, this has happened)?
2. Parenting style - Do they spank, yell and fight among one another? We don't associate much with groups or individuals who are screamers and most certainly would not tolerate anyone treating my child this way. DD is pretty sensitive to rough play in general.
3. Health status - Once the other things are out of the way or established, the immediate health of the child would be next. Are they sick and the parent doesn't give us a heads up and therefore a chance to back out? I don't mind having play dates when sniffles are involved. I would mind if someone showed up with head lice, scabies or Hand, foot and mouth. I might also mind if someone loaded their kid up with a fever reducer to mask symptoms and then showed up to play "because they felt fine". Now things happen, and DD was just exposed to HF&M at a birthday party last weekend - bunch of babies and toddlers running around sharing toys and play food which we know they all stick in their mouth. The two LO's having the party came down with symptoms the day after and then the second one was a few days behind, so would have been contagious at that time. We're pretty much out of the incubation period and so far so good.
Vax status? Honestly even when I was vaxxing ti would have never crossed my mind.