How to handle pressure from the doctors... - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-25-2005, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My fourth child is 21 months. She hasnt gotten a vaccine since 6 months old(her only set) Now she is going to a well baby check up. I know I will be pressured to vaccinate her. I will not do it. So how do I handle it. Do I jsut say no thanks? Or let them tell me how dangerous not vaccinationing them is?
Help!!!
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Old 12-26-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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Very firmly state that you are not vaccinating and it is not up for discussion at this time. If you want to seem nice, ask for some information to take home with you. But I wouldn't have any sort of discussion about it. Keep firmly reminding them that this is not up for debate, thank you for your concern. Appear confident even if you don't feel that way. Keep studying and arm yourself with knowledge and it will get easier to tell them to bug off.

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Old 12-26-2005, 12:56 AM
 
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I would say, "I will tell you when or if we want to vaccinate. Thank you."

Say it in a very decided manner. Very matter of fact. Use a firm, clear voice. Don't look at them, look at the baby and keep dressing the baby. Your actions and voice will show them that you mean exactly what you say. There should be no room for a dispute.

If they say anything else say, "My husband and I do not believe in vaccines. Thank you."

If they still continue say, "I do not want to discuss this any further."

Dress the baby as quickly as you can and leave.

You do not need to be educated about all the side effects of vaccines. You need to know absolutely nothing. It is simply your choice.

So, if they want to discuss the vaccine to find out what you are worried about, don't go into it because a doctor can make a lay person feel like a fool if s/he doesn't know about the particulars. Don't go into it at all.

You can ask them questions, but they have no right asking you medical questions. That is not something your decision has be based upon.

And in reality they know very little about vaccines themselves anyway.
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Old 12-26-2005, 02:37 AM
 
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I agree.....I'll be facing this in 2 mths and I'll be saying what I say for everything - "My family's decisions are not up for debate - thank you." I said this when confronted with circumcision, homeschooling, family bed, etc. I know deep inside I'll be feeling like a chicken and I'll be very nervous, but I'll just state it firmly and with conviction. I am also most likely taking dh or my mom as a support. I think they'll be less likely to try to discuss it with me if someone else is there supporting my decision.

Funny how nervous I am about this - with all the other decisions I've made I said this statement very easily when confronted and wasn't a bit worried about the reaction i got, but with vaxes, my stomach will be in a knot!
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Old 12-26-2005, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies. I was at the doctor ffice for a sick baby check up a few weeks back and the nurse basically called me a child abuser for not vaxing my 5 year old. I jsut want to go in prepared.
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Old 12-26-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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Momma, when we went into our first doctor's group practice, I knew I wanted to see one doc in particular, but thought it wouldn't be a bad thing to "meet" them all. The first two docs didn't feel 100% comfortable with our decision - but only one of them tried to pressure us, saying he has been to third world countries and has seen what these diseases can do to people. Since we don't live in a third world country AND we plan to live a healthy lifestyle (in case we ever visit one!),. He was a bit of a jerk and tried to scare me into it, but we felt comfortable with our decision and chose to not see that particular doc again.

We have since moved to another state () but we found a DO in an MD's practice. She would also prefer that we vax, but has not given me a hard time at all.

SO, my suggestion is, find someone you feel comfortable with! Or, like the other posters have said, just stick to your guns and don't discuss it.

Good luck!
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Old 12-26-2005, 05:45 PM
 
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What you have to do is go in there and appear to be steely. You might feel nervous inside, but just be a stuck record. Oh, they'll try and divert you with questions, but don't be sucked into answering ANY of them. Just ask them, if they ask you questions? "What was there about my statement that you don't understand? I'm not here to either justify myself, or submit to this sort of inquisition. If and when I want advice, I will ask you, not the other way around."

Don't waver from that stand, or you will be suckered into an inwinnable debate, which will just screw with your head until you know your stuff really well.

The day when doctors treat mothers who ELECTIVELY bottlefeed, when there is no physiological reason why they should not breastfeed, is the day I'll feel they are making progress.

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Old 12-26-2005, 06:15 PM
 
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Quote:
I was at the doctor ffice for a sick baby check up a few weeks back and the nurse basically called me a child abuser for not vaxing my 5 year old.
I would also be discussing this with the doctor and let them know you did not appreciate the attitude or being treated in such a manner. If the doctor sypmathizes with the nurse and has the same lack of respect, find a new doctor. It's not going to get any better from here.
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Old 12-26-2005, 09:26 PM
 
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I found the best results when I took in a letter for DCs' files stating that I had done very thorough research, including a few examples of things that concerned me about vaxes and that my DH and I had decided against any more vaccinations. She thanked me for the letter, put it in the file and no longer gives me any grief. I ended the letter with something like: "I am sure you will agree that as my child's guardian, my only concern is for the well being of my child. The same cannot be said of the vaccine makers or the government".
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Old 12-27-2005, 06:19 AM
 
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Q. "Do all of your patients follow your advice?"
A. "No." (No doctor has a 100% compliance rate.)
Q. "Do you follow up on the patients who do not follow your advice?"
A. "No." (Doctors are too busy to follow up on the patients who do not follow their advice.)
Q. "How do you know if the the patients who do not follow your advice do better than the ones who do follow your advice?"
A. <You will probably be shown the door at this point.>

I'm out of here ...

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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Old 12-28-2005, 06:37 AM
 
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The only problem I see with your suggestion, Stevie, is that it will later contradict any religious exemption you later file with school, which is forwarded to the health department. I would just hate to have anything on file, with my signature, stating my beliefs of any kind regarding health or vaccination. It creates the opportunity for someone to, someday, challenge it and create the need for you to defend it.
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Old 12-28-2005, 09:28 AM
 
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I've avoided well baby checks with Joy for this very reason.Even though I've been hasseled by the health check lady,and they still send their stupid letters saying how every child is entitled to a physical.
I get pretty ticked.Like after all my kids I can't tell if something wasn't right?yet it took 4 specialists at a childrens hospital to determine ds no.6 had an "atypical seizure disorder' but no one will say FROM VACCINATION!

I keep imagining what I would say to the doc if and when I do have to deal with him.As it is I did submit the exemption form and all he said was O.K.Looked Joy over and agreed with me that all she had was a virus.That was over a year ago.

For all the hassle of well baby checks,not to mention taking a baby into a waiting room full of sick people,it's just been easier to chart her height and weight myself.The webs full of sites for developmental milestones,of course they don't mention two year olds that can say and sign colors abc's etc...
( couln't help it had to brag!!!! )
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