AAAAARRRRGGGGG! ANOTHER confrontation with grandma!!! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 47 Old 11-25-2006, 05:59 PM
 
Fyrestorm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 3,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If I knew I was gonna get quoted, I woulda checked for typos

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
Fyrestorm is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 47 Old 11-25-2006, 06:45 PM
 
suschi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the midst
Posts: 2,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
Ugh! I"m just so worked up right now I dont even know if i will be able to get my words right.



She is now demanding that i email to her the info that I am reading up so she can read it.

I agree with MT, especially the part about asking her to list the vaccines SHE received as a child, then give her the list of what is required today.

You can email her this link for some information about vaccines, a collection I have saved during my research for the past 7 years,

http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/vaccination
suschi is offline  
#33 of 47 Old 11-26-2006, 08:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
gabysmom617's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Where ghetto meets crunchy
Posts: 3,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i forgot to thank you guys for the links


i have them saved to my vax info collection.
gabysmom617 is offline  
#34 of 47 Old 11-26-2006, 08:20 PM
 
Gitti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ready to move on...
Posts: 14,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by suschi View Post

You can email her this link for some information about vaccines, a collection I have saved during my research for the past 7 years,

http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/vaccination
Please send her this link. It is very informative. Super job suschi! I have passed it on several times already.

Gitti is offline  
#35 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 12:21 AM
 
pampered_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somewhere short of crazy
Posts: 4,507
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/vaccination

Everytime I open the page it crashes my IE - anyone else having this issue? From what I've seen in the thirty seconds that it remains open makes me REALLY want to see the whole thing!!
pampered_mom is offline  
#36 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 12:37 AM
 
mamak05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: the Pac NW!
Posts: 690
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamered_mom View Post
http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/vaccination

Everytime I open the page it crashes my IE - anyone else having this issue? From what I've seen in the thirty seconds that it remains open makes me REALLY want to see the whole thing!!
Me too! Don't know how to fix it - can anyone help?
mamak05 is offline  
#37 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 07:04 AM
 
Mommy To Baby Roni's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sin City
Posts: 1,202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It sounds to me as if you need to surround yourself with supportive people (not necessarily supportive of not vaxing, but supportive of you educating yourself and making your own decision for your child) and back away (at least temp. from mom) from those who are not.

I suggest you try not to discuss these troubling conversations with DH. I know your dh is supposed to be your confidant and your shoulder, but it seems just to be causing him to second guess himself and not trust you. You don't need him to make a decision out of fear, but out of being educated.

Hang tough and try, try, try to tell her it is no longer up for discussion.

Meanwhile, educate, educate, educate yourself. And, when you do discuss it with mom, or someone else, don't be concerned with responding to their interrogation, but respond with questions challenging their logic. It's often based on sound bites, with no foundation. Build your foundation and you will be able to hold strong against any of them.
Mommy To Baby Roni is offline  
#38 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 04:25 PM
 
prettypixels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 2,622
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
I think it's a big thing that she is thinking, taking every single thing I do as a direct insult to her own style of parenting. Every time I mention to her something that I do with G (breastfeeding, not vaxing right now, etc) she immediately, as a knee jerk reaction starts defending what she did "with yall".

I find myself, during the course of a conversation with her having to remind her several times that I have no problem with the way we were raised, and that we have more information available to us today than people did back then.

I can't even talk about the things we do differently without her defending her decisions.

She has very bad self esteem.
It's sad that her self-esteem is like that. Maybe just try to change the subject? That's what I do when my MIL spouts one of her random comments of stuff and nonsense. I don't say anything... just change the subject. At some point it becomes futile to argue, and really it's just going to wind up with hurt feelings for everyone all around.

Like if she says, "Have you thought more about the vax thing?" You can say, "We are totally covered there! Hey, the baby LOVED the ____ you got him/her for Christmas! You should see how he/she plays with it!" Total redirection! Or... "When are you going to stop breastfeeding that child?" "Wow, I don't know. Hey, you know I saw this thing on TV the other day you would've loved, it was..... ______" Just every time she brings up something confrontational, say something totally neutral and quickly change the topic.

At least, if the goal is really to make HER not feel bad about HERself which it seems is not so easy to do. Anyways, that is what I would do! I have a difficult MIL and this is the kind of thing I'm doing with her. Good luck!
prettypixels is offline  
#39 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 06:18 PM
 
krizzanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 530
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamered_mom View Post
http://www.spaces.msn.com/members/vaccination

Everytime I open the page it crashes my IE - anyone else having this issue? From what I've seen in the thirty seconds that it remains open makes me REALLY want to see the whole thing!!
yes, it crashes my IE, too. We have 'anti-virus' applications that pop up right after it crashes, and my dh said the site may look like it has something that could harm the computer....Not saying that it DOES, just that our computer sees it that way. I would like to see the site, too.

gabysmom, s:

- 7; - 5; - 2; --due 4/11
krizzanne is offline  
#40 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 07:12 PM
 
blondajo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 60
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I believe that many people would rather complain and be ignorant than choose to do the research.
Dr. Sherri Tenpenney (SP) has a great 2 hour video on vaccines. Ask your mother and husband to come and watch it together sometime. She was the department head for an emergency room at one time. Some how she woke up to the lies of vaccination and went be to her families beliefs in natural medicine. This woman has spent over 2,000 hours researching vaccines. Her video costs around $20-$30 and is well worth the money.
I haven't read all of the prior posts. My apologies if someone has already posted this info.
blondajo is offline  
#41 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 10:19 PM
 
cortsmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 1,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
Tell her the same thing I told my MIL. You made secisions that you felt were right for your children. It's my turn to make decisions fro mine, If you want to make decisions for any more children, have some more of your own. End of discussion.
I have said that to my mother, my father, my grandmother, and my ex in-laws. It worked.

Since then I have learned to keep my business to myself and when asked nosy questions about anything at all I don't answer.
cortsmommy is offline  
#42 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 10:31 PM
 
Gitti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ready to move on...
Posts: 14,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
suschi, do you know by any chance how to see your site? It is crashing within two seconds.
Gitti is offline  
#43 of 47 Old 11-27-2006, 11:15 PM
 
CerridwenLorelei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: BIG SCARY TEXAS/World of Warcrack
Posts: 5,729
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thing. And I wished I had known more about not vaxing many years and first kid ago. My poor 19 yr old.
I am ahem this side of 40ish. I found my old vax card a few months ago.
I had more than what was recommended because we were back and forth through the state and British Virgin Islands. the # made me:
I have way too many autoimmune disorders now and stay ill more than not lately.
Don't know if any of it can be attributed to any of them. But I think the arthritis link is worth persuing for me. I was 16 when first dx with it.
DS had a dx of adhd shortly after the mmr booster -like within the week.
I have a child who is vax injured from the Hep B. He is nor will ever be 'normal' per se,,

so fine.. harumph
CerridwenLorelei is offline  
#44 of 47 Old 11-28-2006, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
gabysmom617's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Where ghetto meets crunchy
Posts: 3,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CerridwenLorelei View Post
thing. And I wished I had known more about not vaxing many years and first kid ago. My poor 19 yr old.
I am ahem this side of 40ish. I found my old vax card a few months ago.
I had more than what was recommended because we were back and forth through the state and British Virgin Islands. the # made me:
I have way too many autoimmune disorders now and stay ill more than not lately.
Don't know if any of it can be attributed to any of them. But I think the arthritis link is worth persuing for me. I was 16 when first dx with it.
DS had a dx of adhd shortly after the mmr booster -like within the week.
I have a child who is vax injured from the Hep B. He is nor will ever be 'normal' per se,,

so fine.. harumph

Yeah, I saw a link stating how AD/HD and schizophrenic disorders could be related to vaxes in some cases. I have both. I also read that asthma could be related. MY husband has AD/HD and asthma.

Yes we are so fine. My husband can be so : : sometimes.

I don't know, I just guess (and it's a guilt thing i'm trying to work out within myself) I feel that when I stand up to my ma that I betray her. She is not a people person, she doesn't trust people much. She is very nervous, anxious, and very fake to other people, even my two sisters. But she (seems to be) at ease with me, and she feels she can just let go with me, all the good and the bad.

I've been reading up about dysfunctional families since I started this thread. She can't let herself "go" and be "at ease" with anybody, it seems, accept me. My dad can be very controling and irritable sometimes. My mom grew up in an alcoholic household. Lot's of issues there, she doesn't talk about much though. She says she hates alcohol though. Her mom was very...um...weird. I can't imagine how it would be to grow up in a house with a mental mother and and alcoholic father. I think she "releases" all of that controling and negativity on me, because she feels at ease with me, and it's just so built up.

Ok, I think I need to go elsewhere to finish my theraputic family dysfunction discussion.

But anyhow, I was just saying that to say that that's why I think I have a hard time just standing up to her. Not to say I won't, cause I'm not getting vaxes.
She just doesn't respond to subject changes. I've used that tactic many many times. She's very confrontational like that...just to me though.
gabysmom617 is offline  
#45 of 47 Old 11-28-2006, 04:29 PM
 
CerridwenLorelei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: BIG SCARY TEXAS/World of Warcrack
Posts: 5,729
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
and look up 'bean dip"
Just switch it around to cover vaxes!
CerridwenLorelei is offline  
#46 of 47 Old 11-28-2006, 06:55 PM
 
TxMominCT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Temple, Texas
Posts: 841
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Y'all all should do a google movie search for "what's in a flu shot" there is this very very funny spoof on why you should (or shouldn't) get your shot! You'll love it.

Mama to Clara 5/2/06, & Anna 11/4/08 and wife to Dan 6/8/02
TxMominCT is offline  
#47 of 47 Old 11-28-2006, 10:57 PM
 
Electra375's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A person's vax status is private. I will openly discuss it here, but not IRL. My dh does not even know the extent of our children's non-vax status -- I'm in charge of their well-being plain and simple.

I'm sorry you are having such a terrible time with your mother, the simple solution is to say "she's fine, the doctor's visits are fine, I'm not discussing it further with you."

More simply just don't discuss it with those in your family whom you know will disagree or make your life hard.
Electra375 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off