How do you get over the fear? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 08-04-2003, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
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Ugggg! Where to begin? I have an 18 mo who has all the "required" vacinations up to this point. I didn't know any different and didn't question it. I now have a 2 month old who got her first 2 hep B shots - again because I didn't know any better. Then I start hearing about non vaxing and selective vaxing and I start researching it. I come here and learn from you, I do my own research and now I'm really concerned. I don't think I want any more vaccinations but I'm terrified. What happens if God forbid my child where to become ill because I didn't vax? But then what if they had a complication from vaxing? Which is worse? I'm really questioning vaxing but my DH is adamant that our children be vaxed. My father who is a doctor thinks I'm crazy for even thinking about not vaxing. I have absolutely no support and don't feel educated enough to talk credibly to my dr about it. I did switch doctors to another one in the practice who is studying homeopathy. That's all I know about her but I figure that's a good start. So........ How do you get over the fear that you might be putting your child in danger of getting a serious illness if you don't vax? Also, what did you tell your doctor? Did you have the support of your significant other? What about when they go to school? Also, is there any place where I can get credible facts to back me up to my doctor and DH? TIA!
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#2 of 4 Old 08-04-2003, 10:52 PM
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you might want to start with the hard numbers...
for me when I started seeing them...well lets say the fear really dissipated

Just how many cases of all these vax-diseases do we get here in the united states? (by the way, if you are out of the us I recommend you search your country’s online stats)

This is one of the hardest to find pages at the cdc… the way that I actually found this page was by accident. I had called the CDC to find out about hib cases and I got a doctor and he sent me to this page…

if you download the current issue it gives you the most uptodate stat that the cdc has on the reportable diseases. I would start there first.

I think you will be surprised by the hard numbers...and remember there are 220 million people.

also here is my cheat sheet, it might help a bit as you research:
be strong and you don't need to tell anyone more than, "I'm delaying". end of discussion

good luck

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#3 of 4 Old 08-04-2003, 11:03 PM
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Vaccination is a very tough decision. At least, it was for me.

Some of the diseases, I am not at all afraid of my ds getting. I had measles, mumps, chicken pox, scarlet fever, whooping cough and rubella. So did every kid I knew (not the scarlet fever). I believe that a child that is healthy and well nourished when they contract one of these viruses will be fine.

I'm not worried about him getting hep B at all. It is primarily an STD and a needle-sharing disease. I will raise my ds to protect himself with responsible sex and tell him the facts about hard drugs.

Diptheria doesn't concern me either. A doctor once told me that a person would practically have to swim in sewage to contract it. It was a disease of poor sanitation and malnutrition.

Other diseases do worry me. Tetanus is a concern where I live. I am comfortable with ds receiving the tetanus toxiod if he ever has a puncture wound. But, I don't want him to have the vaccine because I had a bad reaction to one.

Polio worries me, also because my parents lived during the polio epidemics and I hear all the horror stories. But, we don't have wild polio in N. America anymore. If we ever travel abroad, I will have to reconsider.

There is a lot of great info in this forum. It is a lot of reading and researching, but this is a very important decision and worth the effort.

My dh supports me 100%. We are homeschooling.

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#4 of 4 Old 08-05-2003, 01:04 AM
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The thing that helped me the most was reading. Putting knowledge into my head.

Reading about the disease there are vaxes for, trying to understand how they are spread. What to do if you or your child comes down with one of them. Learning about good nutrition, proper sleep, proper vitamin and mineral intake, to keep the immune system healthy.

I read both sides, I wasn't afraid to hear both arguements, for and against vaxing.

And, as silly as this sounds, what helped me the most was watching my children get sick, even with colds, treating it all naturally, and watching the immune system work. It is an amazing thing.

My ds has had whooping cough. Sure, it was scary, as no mother wants her child to be sick, ever, especially as an infant/toddler. But he pulled through it okay. Vitamin C is an amazing thing.

My family has several mainstream doctors in it. I know what that's like. I just don't discuss my decision to not vax with them. Yes, it is lonely. I'm the only person I know IRL who doesn't vax. That's why I love hanging around this board.

My dh supports the not vaxing of our children. In the beginning, he didn't care either way. Both he and I were fully vaxed for our age, and we hadn't done any reasearch before having the kids. I did most of the research, babbled his ear off about it, and he got pulled in against his will. I know he'll never feel as strongly as I do, but he's on board.

For school, depending on what state your in, there are at least medical and religious exemptions in just about every state (I think W. Virginia and Mississippi don't have religious, although W. Virginia might change soon). Some states have philosophical exemptions.

Vaxing/not vaxing is a huge decision that has life long effects. I know in my case, I never even thought about it until I got pregnant, and then only because of the Hep B vaccine. I couldn't understand that one, so I started to read up on it, and fell into the rest of them.

But I think the more I knew and understood, the less fear I felt. I started to see sickness as something I could learn from, not something to be feared. If that makes any sense.

Good luck to you. And happy reading...
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