The thing that helped me the most was reading. Putting knowledge into my head.
Reading about the disease there are vaxes for, trying to understand how they are spread. What to do if you or your child comes down with one of them. Learning about good nutrition, proper sleep, proper vitamin and mineral intake, to keep the immune system healthy.
I read both sides, I wasn't afraid to hear both arguements, for and against vaxing.
And, as silly as this sounds, what helped me the most was watching my children get sick, even with colds, treating it all naturally, and watching the immune system work. It is an amazing thing.
My ds has had whooping cough. Sure, it was scary, as no mother wants her child to be sick, ever, especially as an infant/toddler. But he pulled through it okay. Vitamin C is an amazing thing.
My family has several mainstream doctors in it. I know what that's like. I just don't discuss my decision to not vax with them. Yes, it is lonely. I'm the only person I know IRL who doesn't vax. That's why I love hanging around this board.
My dh supports the not vaxing of our children. In the beginning, he didn't care either way. Both he and I were fully vaxed for our age, and we hadn't done any reasearch before having the kids. I did most of the research, babbled his ear off about it, and he got pulled in against his will. I know he'll never feel as strongly as I do, but he's on board.
For school, depending on what state your in, there are at least medical and religious exemptions in just about every state (I think W. Virginia and Mississippi don't have religious, although W. Virginia might change soon). Some states have philosophical exemptions.
Vaxing/not vaxing is a huge decision that has life long effects. I know in my case, I never even thought about it until I got pregnant, and then only because of the Hep B vaccine. I couldn't understand that one, so I started to read up on it, and fell into the rest of them.
But I think the more I knew and understood, the less fear I felt. I started to see sickness as something I could learn from, not something to be feared. If that makes any sense.
Good luck to you. And happy reading...