my friend was just highly pressured into letting both her kids be vaccinated - Mothering Forums
Vaccinations > my friend was just highly pressured into letting both her kids be vaccinated
mmomosedc's Avatar mmomosedc 11:42 PM 01-10-2008
A good friend of mine just sent me an e-mail. I believe both her kids are up to date on their vaccines at this point, but because she has been learning more about the risks associated with the vaccines, she was not planning on giving either of her dd's the flu shot this year and has become more hesitant in general of blindly accepting whatever the all-wise dr says. She was HIGHLY pressured into allowing both kids to be given the flu vaccine.

I'm wondering what your thoughts are of her experience. Does she have any recourse? The way the doctor strong-armed her into giving both kids the vaccines seems kind of unethical.

Here's what happened:

K took her girl's, C and A to the doctor for C's 4 year check up. K had called them previously and told them she did not want the flu shot. In person, when the nurse came in, she again said she did not want the flu shot. The nurse gave her a smile and said something like, "Oh, you haven't talked to the doctor yet... you'll get one!" The pediatrician came in and said something like "Oh no way, you can't do that to your kids. You have no idea how sick they can get; I do!" K still was saying no, quite seriously.

The doctor then, checked C out, got her vision and hearing check up to date, and then said, "I'll be right back." She came back with a flu mist, uncapped it, and just walked up to A, and K said, "Whoa . . . I don't want that." She glared at K, and said, "And I don't want you bringing your flu-sick kids in here while you pull your hair out." K said, "I don't think it is necessary; the season is almost over, and I don't like the components of the vaccine." She said, "This is perfectly fine, and the season has barely begun. You are risking your children's health." She went to administer it, and K said, "_Can't_ I say "no!" She said, "Trust me, you don't want to. Really. It's a bad decision." And in the pressure, worry, doubt, exhaustion, and lack of facts before my friend at the moment, she said, "Oh, whatever." And her kids were vaccinated. She broke into tears as soon as she got to the car.

My friend is pretty mad at them, and so mad at herself for giving into the (completely inappropriate, but nonetheless strong) pressure at the moment when her "hot button" was being hit, i.e. "You'd be a bad mom not to do this." And now she feel like a bad mom anyway .

K says for obvious reasons, that is her last visit to the office. She's ticked at herself for being pushed around, and at them for not respecting her several "no's". She is mad because she totally did not want the vaccine, but just gave in a moment of great pressure and panic. And also she's mad because my greatest temptation to get the flu shot was before the holidays, and they are over.

Katerz2u's Avatar Katerz2u 12:46 AM 01-11-2008
I would have been out of there the moment the nurse said "you'll get one".
She really cannot do anything about accepting the vaccine for her child, she agreed to it. I think she needs to work on knowing when to walk away, and find a new doc who wont pressure her.
Gitti's Avatar Gitti 01:01 AM 01-11-2008
She did have to sign for it. Did she?
mmomosedc's Avatar mmomosedc 01:19 AM 01-11-2008
She didn't say anything about signing for it. I'll ask her, but I'd be surprised if she did. Are parent's required to sign for a vaccine?
runes's Avatar runes 01:53 AM 01-11-2008
this doctor needs to be reported to the state licensing board of physicians.

completely unethical and unprofessional behavior.

in addition, this mom needs to be documenting EVERYTHING, including the encounter with the nurse, doctor, how it all went down according to her perspective, and ANYTHING that she finds out of the ordinary with her kids.

horrible behavior on the part of that peds office. no parent should have to deal with something like that.


amydep's Avatar amydep 02:05 AM 01-11-2008
OMG!!! What is wrong with these doctors??????? This makes me so angry! I had some pressure from my daughter's pedicatrician on Tuesday at her one year wbv, but the doctor did not come into the room with the vaccines! If that would have been me, I would have said "Do NOT touch my child!!! We will not be coming back to this office." And I would have walked out then and there. I think she should report this doctor also.
Gitti's Avatar Gitti 02:10 AM 01-11-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmomosedc View Post
She didn't say anything about signing for it. I'll ask her, but I'd be surprised if she did. Are parent's required to sign for a vaccine?
YES. And if she did not, she has some recourse. If she did, then she agreed.


Quote:
Originally Posted by kidspiration View Post
in addition, this mom needs to be documenting EVERYTHING, including the encounter with the nurse, doctor, how it all went down according to her perspective, and ANYTHING that she finds out of the ordinary with her kids.
I agree and I would suggest this to her.
mangosink0's Avatar mangosink0 03:14 AM 01-11-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gitti View Post
She did have to sign for it. Did she?
I've never signed for a vax with any of my 3 kids at multiple doctors practices. I think a verbal ok is acceptable.
cak1207's Avatar cak1207 03:23 AM 01-11-2008
This reminds me of me and my DH's friend. He's in Chiro school and he and his wife got pregnant. He was very anti-vax and they both agreed not to vax at birth. Well she went into labor and gave birth and he had a test he could not miss (school is very strict) so he left for an hour. He made a point to tell the doctor NOT to vax the baby. Well when he left the nurses and doctors came in and told her that she needed to vax and how unhealthy and all the risks, her child could die. Anyways, she was saying no but they wouldn't back down. She was so exhausted from childbirth and still on pain meds and such that she finally gave in. When her husband came back he was livid. As would I. It's really sad that doctors resort to that. They don't plan on vaxing at all but he did get his first round of them.
MeniacleBrat's Avatar MeniacleBrat 06:48 AM 01-11-2008
Your friend may want to check with the state licensure board about filing a complaint and then possibly call an attorney.
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar MCatLvrMom2A&X 06:55 AM 01-11-2008
I had to sign a paper for each vax and sometimes multiple times in one visit back before I knew I had a choice.

If she didnt sign a release then she may be able to pursue it but if she signed then there really is nothing she can do.
theretohere's Avatar theretohere 08:08 PM 01-11-2008
Ugh.
tuansprincess's Avatar tuansprincess 08:46 PM 01-11-2008
This is disgusting and very disturbing. How dare these doctors treat people this way? :
Emmeline II's Avatar Emmeline II 10:28 PM 01-11-2008
She may have signed a release with the intake paperwork.
mmomosedc's Avatar mmomosedc 11:37 PM 01-11-2008
Well I talked to K today and she said she did not sign anything for the vaccine nor has she ever signed anything for a vaccine. Maybe signing a paper at the time a vaccine is administered is a doctor's office specific protocol. Or perhaps she signed something with her intake paperwork a few years ago. She's still quite disturbed about the whole event and is planning to at least write a letter to the head of the clinic. I suggested that she consider writing a letter to the state medical board, but I don't think she will. She said she doesn't want to get the doctor into trouble because the doctor is, despite this situation, a nice person.
twinsplusone's Avatar twinsplusone 12:45 AM 01-12-2008
WOAH!

I know some practices just have you inital one of the chart pages(that list which vax was given) vs actually 'signing' thier name.
jojospok23's Avatar jojospok23 01:32 AM 01-12-2008
Actually, my MIL (an ER nurse) tells me that in this area just signing the sign in paper (that says when you arrived and so on) is all that is needed for 'signed for' permission.
ReikiMommy07's Avatar ReikiMommy07 01:36 AM 01-12-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katerz2u View Post
I would have been out of there the moment the nurse said "you'll get one".
She really cannot do anything about accepting the vaccine for her child, she agreed to it. I think she needs to work on knowing when to walk away, and find a new doc who wont pressure her.
: Similarly, there's really no recourse for her, b/c she did ultimately accept the vax for both kids. Also, she has no concrete proof that she ever refused--or tried to. It'd be her word against the nurse's and/or doc's. It's unfortunate, but that seems to be how it is. Your friend needs to work on her confidence and not worrying/caring so much about what others--esp. those in authority, even if it's just perceived authority--think of her parenting choices. Easier said than done, but that will be her best weapon.
ReikiMommy07's Avatar ReikiMommy07 01:39 AM 01-12-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmomosedc View Post
She didn't say anything about signing for it. I'll ask her, but I'd be surprised if she did. Are parent's required to sign for a vaccine?
IME no. But they're asked (though not technically required) to sign for not getting one. If that comes up, she should have her own form prepared and refuse to sign the doc's vax refusal form, as they can be used against parents, to make them look bad. A religious or philosophical exemption in writing will be enough. Have the doc keep the form in the kids' files, then maybe signing to refuse each one/each visit won't be necessary.
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