Weekly Chat: February 23-29 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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I'm glad I'm not alone with the cramps. I wonder why they come on mostly at nght??
Probably because you're tired and even if you're not doing anything particularly strenuous, just carrying a baby all day is a lot of work!

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#122 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 04:36 PM
 
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Probably because you're tired and even if you're not doing anything particularly strenuous, just carrying a baby all day is a lot of work!
VERY well put!!

PS - does anyone else feel like when they get up to walk they lean their back back and waddle now?? It just happens almost naturally when I first get up from sitting. I try to straighten up while I'm walking though.

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#123 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 05:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't walk normally. It's frustrating. I don't particularly lean back, but I definitely can't seem to take normal steps. Totally gimped.

Wacky Zack! Born 23-Apr-2009
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#124 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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You know, in my prenatal yoga class over the past few months I've noticed that the majority of women started saying that they're ready for the baby to "come out now" at about 35 weeks. The NICU nurse side of me rolled my eyes a bit, because yeah, most 35+ week babies do okay, but if you haven't worked with them it's easy to over look the fact that they tend to have more trouble eating (can be very sleepy and require a lot to encourage them to take a full feeding), tend to have higher rates of jaundice, and that near-term babies have higher rates of SIDS. It's easier to wish a baby out early when you really don't know what the full difference can be between near-term and term.

Then I hit 35 weeks and now I understand the mom side of this better. I mean, I understood it intellectually before, but now I understand it viscerally. I'm tired, I would like to be able to roll over in bed without a) the help of a crane and b) without having to get up to go to the bathroom each time and I can't wait for my pubic bone to stop hurting. I am still thankful this baby is cooking, but it's more of an "academic" thankful than an emotional-from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thankful, if that makes sense. The thought of up to 7 more weeks of this is, well, a bit daunting.

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I'm happy to be right here, right now and that I am so fortunate to have been experiencing what most people would probably consider an "easy" pregnancy. Looking at it from that perspective, I am very thankful and I hope that I can share uneventful and perfect delivery experiences with the rest of you.
And, at the same time, me too. I was thinking as I put away groceries last night (with all the bending and lifting that requires) that this will probably be my easiest pregnancy. Next time around, at the very least I will have a toddler/ preschooler to chase, so the time spent putting my feet up and resting will be significantly less. Also, I've had some pubis symphysis pain and everyone I know (so far) has said it gets worse with each pregnancy. And then I think of the mamas on bedrest or struggling with things like PUPPPS and I am very thankful that I am *only* dealing with minor SPD and occasional hip pain.
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#125 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 06:05 PM
 
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I am so fortunate to have been experiencing what most people would probably consider an "easy" pregnancy. Looking at it from that perspective, I am very thankful and I hope that I can share uneventful and perfect delivery experiences with the rest of you.
Me too. When I was talking to my MW yesterday, I was like, of *course* I have things to complain about. But really? Nothing serious. Relatively speaking, both of my full-term pregnancies have been pretty easy (I miscarried at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy, so I still have a deeper sense of gratefulness than I might otherwise have at being 34 weeks and huge and uncomfortable!!). I didn't start wishing for Brynn to GET OUT til around 38 weeks, and then I was just so over it; I haven't reached that point yet, thankfully.

And yep, Mischeivium, it is a lot harder when you are already a mom to someone (or two, or three!). I can't even explain how much I've been craving isolation and quiet the past week or so, and it is seriously all I can do to hold it together and be a good mom to Brynn (some days are better than others)! It also just happens that she's much more emotional the past month or so, and cries horribly several times a day if she doesn't get her way. It's like this high pitched HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLING that literally makes me feel like I might just go over the deep end.

And then, of course, I'm with all of you who think, what the hell am I doing having another one?! Motherhood is just so fricking complex, isn't it?

Michanders, Yes on the waddling. I try so hard to be conscious about walking with better posture, but it's really hard at this point!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#126 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 06:13 PM
 
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And, at the same time, me too. I was thinking as I put away groceries last night (with all the bending and lifting that requires) that this will probably be my easiest pregnancy. Next time around, at the very least I will have a toddler/ preschooler to chase, so the time spent putting my feet up and resting will be significantly less. Also, I've had some pubis symphysis pain and everyone I know (so far) has said it gets worse with each pregnancy. And then I think of the mamas on bedrest or struggling with things like PUPPPS and I am very thankful that I am *only* dealing with minor SPD and occasional hip pain.
I dunno, this pregnancy seems A LOT easier than my pregnancy with ds. I attribute it to not working a retail job this time (I was standing 6-8 hours a day) as well as the benefits of being distracted from my aches and pains by my toddler.
If I look back at my journal from last time, I was certainly doing much worse at this point.

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#127 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 07:18 PM
 
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I dunno, this pregnancy seems A LOT easier than my pregnancy with ds. I attribute it to not working a retail job this time (I was standing 6-8 hours a day) as well as the benefits of being distracted from my aches and pains by my toddler.
If I look back at my journal from last time, I was certainly doing much worse at this point.
Hi all...boy you've all been busy typing...this was a long thread to catch up on. I wish I could say this pregnancy was easier even thoguh I was in a retail job with DDs pregnancy. Even with the ability to rest more I'm still having a harder time...I'm praying this doesn't mean baby is going to be a difficult child!

Had my 32 week appointment this morning. baby is Head down! I hope she stays that way! I am dehydrated again! UGH! I drink so much it makes me sick But I guess I have to up it. Thank goodness it wasn't too bad to take me in for fluids for the 3/4th time! 3 Liters is ALOT to drink in a day!

I got alot of stuff done yesterday...washed all the little baby girl clothes (0-3 months) and put them in the drawers...got out all the baby equipment and washed the covers. I even did a few loads of our own laundry. DH was impressed. I decided we had too many toys in too many places in this house so I moved all the toys into the toy room or DDs room. It's a mess in that toy room but I'll tackle that another day. I have such a hard time getting rid of toys...I have the attatchment to them not DD and I'm a garage sale-aholic so we always get more and more! Good thing we have a toy room in this house!

Lots of braxton hicks here, tired alot and ready to be done being preggo. I keep saying 6 more weeks (dd was 2 weeks early) Watch and it'll bite me in the behind and I'll be late!
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#128 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 08:31 PM
 
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Went to the cardiac doc again today. Baby has a small, extremely common defect in her heart. The doc was SO positive about it cause he said it was what he was hoping to see (cause the diagnosis from the perinatal was so grim). SO if the baby is born blue, she has repair surgery at a week old, if she is born pink, we wait and see, no surgery might be needed.

Good news? He has hundreds of patients with this EASILY FIXABLE problem.

Bad news? DH and I are not comfortable doing homebirth anymore and now we have to figure out the hospital thing and I have no clue what we have to do in the coming weeks!

I better call my mw.

wife. dd1 : dd2
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#129 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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Lindsay

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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#130 of 143 Old 02-27-2009, 11:06 PM
 
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Oh Lindsay. This must be really scary for you, Mama.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#131 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 02:58 AM
 
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Thanks guys, I WAS scared earlier until I read more about it and talked to my mw. I think that either way I go, I have a great support system and team of professionals!
I was joking today with DH that this pregnancy has been completely opposite of my dd1, so why would the end be any different!!

If you remember, we have gone from a "0% chance survival" mis-diagnosis to an easily fixable problem, so its not the worst thing that could have happened.

Small blessings...

wife. dd1 : dd2
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#132 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 03:25 AM
 
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Well... I'm glad they were finally able to get a good look at her heart so you could make a decision about where to deliver. I am really sorry to hear that she might need surgery, though . It sounds like talking to your midwife helped-- would she be able to come to the hospital as labor support if you go that route?
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#133 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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Lindsay - Such a disappointment to lose your hb, but I'm so glad for you that what's needed to be fixed is so simple. GL scouting hospitals...hope your mw goes w/you for delivery. Hoping for a nice, pink baby. :

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#134 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 01:07 PM
 
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oh yeah, my walk is definitely not so sexy now. I also have to remind myself that sticking my hand in the small of my back and jutting my stomach out does NOT look hip.

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#135 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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I had bad cramps all evening and night last night. They were accompanied by lots of bh's. But everything seems to have settled down and now I've got bad stomach pains, but not cramps. Phew.

Good news on the name front!!! Dh seems to have totally come around and said that he is fine with honouring my mother's side of the family with this baby's middle name . He did say, though, that he doesn't like alistair, but he does like Luke (a name I had come up with as a sort of comprimise between my likes and his likes). So, it might end up being Luke Hayes Van Al..... Not my fave, but definitely one I could live with.

Lindsay sounds like you've got a great perspective on the news. It's wonderful that these things can be detected so early so you can be prepared. Seeing that it's quite common, I'm sure you'll be in great hands!

ShineLiketheSon... sounds like you're getting lots done. I need a boost of energy/motivation to get going again.

I was thinking that this pgs must be harder because I'm older and it's the third time around for my body. But I suppose it's just as likely to be simply because it's a different pg.

I'm off to a vigil for victims of the violence in the DR Congo this afternoon with ds2. Hopefully I can squeeze in some sort of nesting project before that.
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#136 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 10:08 PM
 
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My walk/waddle isn't nearly as bad as a) when I have to try and bend down to pick something up off the floor and it becomes an ungainly squat and b) when I'm just standing around and end up shifting uncomfortably and end up rubbing my belly absentmindly. I have this really uncomfortable spot on my tummy that pulls or pinches so I end up rubbing it a lot and look like a dork.

Also I'm puffy/swollen/fat looking suddenly. Yesterday- feelin good, looking like I hadn't gained too much. Today, feelin like the stay-puffed marshmallow man; I grew another chin overnight apparently. I knocked over a houseplant wiht my arse today too, so apparently have more junk in the trunk as well.

Lindsay I'm glad for the new and improved diagnoses for your baby girl. GL finding the right hospital and doctors for you!

Book lovin librarian nerd mama to Caleb 6/06 and Aiden 4/09: and 1 angel 11/07. "No one cries alone in my presence."
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#137 of 143 Old 02-28-2009, 11:49 PM
 
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My baby shower is tomorrow. And I'll be 33 weeks. I really hope that everyone who said they'll be there shows up. I have this ridiculous fear that I'll be like that kid who invites everyone in class but only the nicest person shows up for the party and it's just the two of them with a whole cake and nothing to do because all the games are for more people and their mommy spent all that money.....

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#138 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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My baby shower is tomorrow. And I'll be 33 weeks. I really hope that everyone who said they'll be there shows up. I have this ridiculous fear that I'll be like that kid who invites everyone in class but only the nicest person shows up for the party and it's just the two of them with a whole cake and nothing to do because all the games are for more people and their mommy spent all that money.....

OMG, me too! Mine is next Saturday and I am seriously feeling anxiety about it because I was so *not* wanting a baby shower anyway (but gave in to a well-intentioned friend). At least I know two of my good friends will be there, so hey, if nothing else, we all get to sit around and eat a some yummy food. But yeah - totally with you.

OK, this has nothing to do with anything, but just to vent: I have a friend from grad school who has a 5-month old. We've just recently been back in touch (Facebook is a wonderful thing!) and she's been asking me frequently for parenting advice. Her son clearly has food sensitivities so he's really fussy, has eczema, etc; she wants to keep breastfeeding him but is (understandably) overwhelmed by the whole elimination diet thing. Well *everyone* in her life is telling her just to switch to forumla, and that she's just torturing herself, and all kinds of other crap. She's determined to keep breastfeeding, so I've hooked her up with the LLL in her area and I hope she gets support there. She's also apparently decided to give in to her husband and let her son CIO for the past few days. She posted on Facebook, "OK so does cry-it-out really work?! He's been screaming for 48 minutes!" And of course all of her friends said, "Of course! He needs to learn to sleep now or he'll be wanting you to cuddle with him til he's 8 years old!" and "Sure, it's tough now, but he won't even remember it!" Blah blah blah. I commented back and said, "No, Kelly, it doesn't work. Go pick up your baby." And then I posted links to several articles - one from Harvard - saying that CIO causes emotional and physiological harm, etc. Well, one of her friends commented back and said, "I think that article is CRAP!!" I am totally not going to get into it with these people, but so badly want to post back, "Yeah, you know those Harvard researchers...they're so inept!"

It just drives me crazy, really, to be confronted with such complete idiocy. And I feel really bad for my friend, who is surrounded by it on all sides.

OK, sorry to hijack the thread. Just had to get that out!!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#139 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 01:08 AM
 
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Have fun at your showers girls!:

Does make me kinda sad to not be having a celebration shower for this baby...it just doesn't seem fair to not have something for this special child just because she's the second one in teh family!

ETA: Not up for any debating my comment previously posted may have started...so I deleted it, sometimes it's just best to keep it to yourself... but I did want to say: Just as vaxing or no vaxing, bfing or bottle feeding, school or homeschool, daycare or sahm, circumcising or intact, Cding or sposies... we all make our choices for what we feel is best for our children.
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#140 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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... so badly want to post back, "Yeah, you know those Harvard researchers...they're so inept!"


That would have been funny. But obviously getting snarky wont get the point across that you want.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#141 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 02:25 AM
 
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ugh, Amy, it must be hard to see your friend being pressured to make choices with which she herself is not comfortable. I hope that having even one friend who encourages her to listen to herself on these decisions helps her navigate the difficult decisions of parenting.

(I've also had a few friends give up on BFing because they just had such a hard time with it. I have seen it up close enough to know that for some people it truly is difficult, and if they lack really assertive support, and they've never successfully bf before they really feel they can't do it. I was able to gently encourage one friend to keep BFing for several months more than she would have otherwise, even though her daughter was getting most of her nutrition from formula, NOT by being all high and mighty about it but actually just by biting my outspoken tongue and bit and consciously deciding to be positive for her in as non-judgmental and supportive way that I could be. I was sad for her and her daughter that she didn't BF longer, but I still feel glad that I had some small part in encouraging her to keep at it even when other people-- including her husband and the LC!- were saying there was "no point anymore".)

I feel lucky in my mom friends here- though we certainly don't agree on everything, there is a significant community of bf-ing, natural-birthing, attachment parenting (or AP-lite) families that I don't feel out of the norm- but not everyone is like that by any stretch- I think there is a fair amount of acceptance that different things work for different families. Its refreshing to be in a place where conformity is not the norm, if that makes sense. Its still painful to see a child or parent who seems to be suffering in some way b/c their beliefs/family organization is NOT serving their needs, but I try to remember that I figured out some of my parenting values along the way too.

okay thats the end of my novel. I have got to get back to work b/c these papers are due MONDAY MORNING and there is lots of editing left to do. My oral exam (quals for my PhD program) is scheduled for March 12. Yikes! So, if all goes well I will be "advanced to candidacy" before baby is born!

On another note: After I turn in the papers and prospectus, I want to get out and look for some kind of outfit that doesn't make me look... well, positively silly... for my actual exam. I'm looking for something low-key, not all flowey and femme and layery... I think I'll head over to the mall that has Pea in the Pod and Gap Maternity. Sigh. I hate shopping anyway, and being shaped like humpty dumpty with gigantic breasts doesn't help me like it more!

dissertating mom to three

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#142 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 10:05 PM
 
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I hate shopping anyway, and being shaped like humpty dumpty with gigantic breasts doesn't help me like it more!
lmao- I like your description; that fits me too. I think I look like one of those stone-age fertility dolls- all boobs and belly.

I had my surprise baby shower yesterday (but had figured it out thanks to inept family members) so had to act really surprised, which is hard for me to do, plus I showed up in makeup, which I hardly ever wear so I'm sure people were suspicious when I didn't look like a total scrub. I had to keep protesting that, no I was really surprised, which made me feel awful, then fielded a bunch of awkward questions and comments "Oh wow you're HUGE you poor thing" and "You are delivering at X hospital right?" and "What do you mean you don't have a name picked yet? You're just going to put Baby Box on the birth certificate?!" etc. Then I knocked over my friends houseplant not once but twice with my big booty. I just felt kind of awkward and huge. BUT of course so nice seeing all my friends and family and I got HEAPS of baby clothes- like a first baby shower really. This DS will have the same problem as #1 did, not enough time to wear all his nice new clothes! I found my receipts and am taking back anything I bought to Target. Oh and I got lots of all natural baby bath stuff so nice!

Sorry to go on and on, just chatting into the void....

Book lovin librarian nerd mama to Caleb 6/06 and Aiden 4/09: and 1 angel 11/07. "No one cries alone in my presence."
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#143 of 143 Old 03-01-2009, 11:05 PM
 
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Heather, there is a new weekly thread started....hop on over!

Sounds like you had a really nice shower!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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