Reminders for dh for labor/birth - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The thought occured to me to type up a reminder sheet for dh for during birth. While he actually did pretty good last time in helping, there were more things I wish would have been asked to me or reminded to me that I wanted. I so wasn't at the point of reminding or even saying them myself. Therefore I have to rely on him, and he's got a bad memory. So I typed up a bullet point list for each stage of what he should do. He'll have time to quick read reminders for him and do them if he hasn't already. Like a birth plan but with his duties. And I'm more worried about the OB's not following things or asking/etc. Last time the midwife read up on hypnobabies and remembered stuff even!

From looking off my birth plan here's what I came up with. Can you think of anything else?

For Laboring


Dim lights, remind nurses to be quiet
Ask if want hypno cd or other music on or script read
Ask nurse to get birthing ball/stool or any other natural birthing things
Ask nurses to direct questions to you and do not offer pain meds/epidural
Ask if need to go to bathroom, walk, change positions (and continue to ask)
Ask if want something to drink/light to eat (and continue to ask)
Relax/Release cue’s on my shoulder during birthing wave
Massage lower back
If I ask for pain meds/epidural tell me I don’t need them and it’ll be over soon, I’m doing great, no, whatever you need to say, etc.
Have a trash nearby in case feel sick – when feel sick notify nurses because it probably means I’m ready/almost ready to push


For Pushing/Birthing


Ask if I feel the urge to push, if not ask nurse/OB if can wait a few minutes for me to get that urge
Remind nurses/OB not to count
Ask if want to be in different position for pushing (I don’t want to push laying down on bed) –squating, birthing bar, at 45 degree angle on bed, hands & knees
Ahhh/exhale pushing – push some between contractions as well
Remind OB/Nurse to support my perineum so it doesn’t tear (tell me short pushes to slow baby descent)/ warm washcloth to help it stretch
Baby on belly after birth
Remind OB to wait for cord to stop pulsing before cutting it
Tell nurses to ask me if I want to cut cord or Josie (if there)
Remind nurses No pitocin for placenta removal unless needed (ie heavy bleeding)


For after birth


If Josie there, go get her to offer her to cut cord
Ask them to explain all the newborn procedures before they are performed
Remind them no Hep vax and ask us about eye ointment
Ask that one of us help bathe baby
You or I are to go with baby if need to leave the room at all times!
Remind DO NOT retract foreskin
Ask nurses when the Lactation Consultant will visit

: Mother (4/11/06) to Josephine and (4/23/09) to Oliver and baby (due June 1st)

Babies: Angel (6/29/02), Tiberius (3/8/11), Lillianna (12/27/11)

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#2 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 08:57 AM
 
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My DH"s list. We've been through this twice before, so he knows what I need as far as "labor support"

oOrganize supplies for labor, etc. see checklist.
oCall others; arrange for someone to come for the kids
oMake an area for the kids to stay, activity bag, videos, etc.
oGet cameras, stopwatch, phone, phone list, paper to take notes
oTurn up water heater
oPut mattress cover on bed, put old sheets on
oPlay Hypnobirthing CD
oLabor support, emotional & physical
oMassage as needed
oHelp verbally with relaxation
oHelp into shower or tub as needed, put a top on me when we get out
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#3 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 09:18 AM
 
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Dh is so glad we are having a doula again, so the doula can just tell him what to do and he'll do it, no thinking involved.

Though I am making a list for him to remember to pack last minute things for the hospital.
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#4 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 09:54 AM
 
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Hadn't thought about making an actual list but thinking its a good idea- this is his first and the first my bff will be at (besides giving birth to her own) so am w/2 inexperienced supports and know nurses can be varing in degrees of "helpfullness". My mother works at the same hospital and I have delivered there w/all my others so kinda know what to expect.

These are great- will be stealing some.
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#5 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 09:58 AM
 
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Crashing your DDC.

You might want to consider your your DH not *asking* you anything, but instead just doing it or offering it. For example, I found it much easier to say no to a glass of water when it was brought to me if I wasn't thirsty than it was to assess whether I was thirsty when asked.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
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#6 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 10:39 AM
 
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sorry double post
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#7 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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Great idea! Keep them coming!

I don't have a DH list, but I'll try to wing it:
  • Post our call list. Call MW, friend doing documentary, photography friend, MIL, and SIL
    Turn oven on for warming towels, etc.
    set up birth tub
    bring camera to bedroom
    double-check birth supplies and know where everything is
    Bring all free pillows to the bedroom.
    Bring water pitcher to the bedroom
    Make sure we have the watercolor paper nearby for the placenta prints
    brew RRL tea, bring to bedroom
    make sure DDs have activity options, depending on the time of day
    review doula duties (DP is officially my doula this time around. MW & her assistant are both doula-trained, so I figure he will have back-up anyway
    Keep MIL, FIL, SIL, etc. from entering the birth room unless I request them.
    Give MIL a tour of the kitchen. (Lots of drawers & cupboards - confuses people
    Let our DDs know when it is pushing time
    Distribute call list to folks w/ phones after the baby is born.
Wow - long list and I know it isn't complete ...

read.gif+dp_malesling.GIFreading.gifmoon.gifblahblah.gifjog.gif(All waterbirth.jpg. 3 @ homebirth.jpg30stork-suprise.gif*31*32*33*34*35*36*37*38*39*40?41*42?h20homebirth.gif 
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#8 of 8 Old 03-31-2009, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good I was hoping the list would help others as well.

As for the asking part, no I want him to ask. Him just doing ticks me off in labor. I know what I want and if he starts to do something I don;t want I'll react badly and totally go off on him...which would mean i'd be out of calm state setting off a whole bad list of things. I have a hard time communicating my needs except a quick yes or no, so he needs to ask. But everyone is different. What works for some might not work for others.

ooo i thought of anther one:
Take a picture of me in labor for ds's scrapbook

: Mother (4/11/06) to Josephine and (4/23/09) to Oliver and baby (due June 1st)

Babies: Angel (6/29/02), Tiberius (3/8/11), Lillianna (12/27/11)

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