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#61 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 03:59 AM
 
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We're trying to find a new place. Our slumlord has been pretty abusive. I haven't complained too much until my best friend nearly slapped me upside the head so I'd see the reality of our situation. I'm so grateful for her. This has been going on since Feb. '09. It wasn't until she freaked out on me (yelled at my grandfather too), threatened me, really thought I'd take her to court... THEN is when I realized she must have something to be afraid of. She wouldn't act so afraid unless her conscience is guilty. She reeks of it. Wish I had seen this sooner. Well, not sure how we're going to get out of here because she has given us a bad name to our prospective landlord - out right lied about us. Sooo stressed out right now. Suprised I haven't gone crazy, oh wait - maybe I am crazy. At least the love for my children keeps me alive.
Damn! Normally, Im not a swearer but your situation calls for it! Read your blog and ugh, how sickening that woman makes me and Im not even in the situation! : Thank goodness for BFs that arent afraid to "slap you upside the head"! I have dealt with 2 slumlords and I STILL get nauseas thinking about them.

wife. dd1 : dd2
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#62 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 05:41 AM
 
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Damn! Normally, Im not a swearer but your situation calls for it! Read your blog and ugh, how sickening that woman makes me and Im not even in the situation! : Thank goodness for BFs that arent afraid to "slap you upside the head"! I have dealt with 2 slumlords and I STILL get nauseas thinking about them.
Would you mind sharing what happened and how you survived it? I could learn a thing or two from you.
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#63 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 11:23 AM
 
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Glad your therapy was good. Hopefully this doesn't sound creepy, but you showed up in one of my dreams the other night. You didn't really do anything, and it wasn't an interesting dream really, but you were there hanging out. Guess I've had you on my mind and I've been hoping things are going better for you.

Re: the weight loss discussion.... It's going to take forever, but I'm determined to stick with my new attitude of not stressing over food/weight stuff.

I feel bad hearing her cry, and it really stresses me out. But I'm just not sure how to help her, other than what we're already doing. And I can't be a prisoner in my house, because that will just make me crazy, and she doesn't need a crazy mom.
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Not creepy at all! At least I get to meet some of you in dreams!!!!!

Good for you on keepin going...excercise has been hard for me this last week (emotions I"m sure) need to get back to it, want to loose 10lbs at least by end of Sept.

Static and swaddled helps N in the car, she still whines/crys a bit but not the hyperventalting someone's hurting me scream. ((hugs)))

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I figured out why she likes this little mouse: it's nose is shaped like a nipple and she was sucking away on it.
Where can I get this mouse? I think I saw it in your FB pics, and thought it looked like a good one for easy holding too!

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oh wait - maybe I am crazy. At least the love for my children keeps me alive.
Sorry bout the troubles...will read your blog sometime today. (((hugs)))

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Shine, did you take the ppd screener on the ppd board? It doesn't have to be as bad a s your sister to be ppd and with her suffering from it you're more likely to
Yup, was moderate to severe...though I'm thinking more on the moderate side. I've had depression before and this just is so different, more mood swings and no thoughts of not wanting to live and I still get joy out of caring for my kids.

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It's because she's 4. I know that's not much comfort, but its the same thing I've been going through since before dd2 was born--dd1 turned 4 in mid-December. Seems to be getting better, a little--though we did start today with a conflict...I went 'off-script' on our waking up routine and then performed an unauthorized do-over. : Between the 2 transgressions she was pretty pissy....but for less time than on some mornings, so that's progress.

I am very aware that my reactions to her are colored--on some days in dark colors--by inward battles. Because of my history with depression, I actually see my psychiatrist once a month (as if for medication management, though I'm not on meds), which is a pretty good escape valve. I'm really sure that as you work through what you need to with your therapist, things with your dd will get easier.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!! I really do think it's not just adjusting to baby but also just the age 4 thing. And yes my reactions are colored by my battles...just the one therapy session has helped some.


It's getting harder to type with LO...she wants to be moving alot. I just love you all!!!! Thank you so much for the support, you've no idea how much it helps me! I am acutally finding myself looking forward to P doing the preschool thing, it's only 6 hours a week, that is not much. I just have to keep my anxiety down and the therapist thinks I have alot more anxiety than the depression...so will be working on that.
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#64 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 11:25 AM
 
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Are things going okay with you these days? I've been wondering how you're doing with the depression.
I need to do better with the exercise, because I think that's key. A lot of situational things have moderated, and that helps too (students wanting exceptions to rules, waiting out escrow on our house...stuff). I'm doing pretty well, but still have to decide what to do later on. I keep remembering how bad some days were when pregnancy hormones were in the mix, particularly in the 2nd tri, and know that it could be much worse.

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Re: the weight loss discussion, I'm still losing, slowly but steadily. I pretty much eat what I want, but a lot of the time what I want is vegetables, fruits, whole grains, etc. Of course, I also get ice cream cravings, but whatever, it will all balance out. I've also been putting a lot of effort into getting daily exercise in hopes that it will help my mood (which it does seem to). I'm down about 30 pounds from where I was right before River was born, but I've got another 30 to go before I'm back to pre-preg weight, and 10-15 more after that to get to where I want to be. It's going to take forever, but I'm determined to stick with my new attitude of not stressing over food/weight stuff.
It's funny...I'm about where I was pre-pregnancy, which is a good 15 pounds over where I was when we married, but I feel thinner than I remember feeling last summer. I'd like to lose about 20 pounds from where things are now--really slowly.

We've been packing, because escrow closes in about a week and we're moving to a new house about a mile away. Yesterday, I did two boxes of clothes--my dress clothes and my Fall/winter clothes. It was like catching up with old friends, because I couldn't wear them last fall and winter! I missed them. Hated maternity clothes this last time.

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We had a fun trip the last couple days. Rocky Mountain National Park is amazing. The only hard part was how much River cried in the car. She does better when one of us is back there with her, but she still doesn't like the car very much. But I can't just not ever go places, you know? I feel bad hearing her cry, and it really stresses me out. But I'm just not sure how to help her, other than what we're already doing. And I can't be a prisoner in my house, because that will just make me crazy, and she doesn't need a crazy mom.

Anyway, we did have lots of fun. We NIPed by a waterfall. We hiked a lot and saw some amazing mountain lakes. And while I didn't get a picture of the moose I saw, I did get a picture of this guy.
Oh, I love RMNP! I spent several summers in the area when I was in graduate school, working at a music camp, and really got to love it. I even--once--made it to the keyhole on the Long's Peak Trail. We'd started a little late and needed to get down before the midday weather change, or else might have made it the rest of the way. Dh and I were through there last summer and saw a moose from the edge of the road, but no bear. It's amazing--15-20 years ago, in 3 or 4 summers and a couple of random trips, I only ever saw one bear, moving fast, and never a moose. Elk, deer, chipmunks--those were plentiful!

Mom of two girls.
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#65 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Would you mind sharing what happened and how you survived it? I could learn a thing or two from you.
PMd you a couple times!

wife. dd1 : dd2
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#66 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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fruitful womb, sorry about your landlord troubles. I've lived in some pretty crappy places, but unfortunately, the only thing I could ever figure out that helped was to just move out. Can you explain to your new prospective landlord what the situation is with your current landlord?

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Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon View Post
Good for you on keepin going...excercise has been hard for me this last week (emotions I"m sure) need to get back to it, want to loose 10lbs at least by end of Sept.

...

Static and swaddled helps N in the car, she still whines/crys a bit but not the hyperventalting someone's hurting me scream. ((hugs)))

...

I've had depression before and this just is so different, more mood swings and no thoughts of not wanting to live and I still get joy out of caring for my kids.
I find exercise helps my mood so much. On days where I get my butt out the door in the morning and get 20-30 mins of activity, I feel a lot better. Of course, it's hard to make yourself do it when you're feeling crappy. But just do it for a couple days, then you'll get some momentum going!

Thanks for the car survival tips. I wanted to ask you and Kate, though, how do you swaddle a baby in a car seat? We kind of quit swaddling Riv when she was being treated for hip dysplasia and haven't tried it since, but I want to give it a try in the car.

And it's interesting that you say your current state of mind is different from "normal" depression. I keep telling myself I don't have PPD because I don't feel the way I used to when I struggled with depression before. Hmm, I'll have to think about that a bit.

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Originally Posted by claras_mom View Post
I need to do better with the exercise, because I think that's key. A lot of situational things have moderated, and that helps too (students wanting exceptions to rules, waiting out escrow on our house...stuff). I'm doing pretty well, but still have to decide what to do later on. I keep remembering how bad some days were when pregnancy hormones were in the mix, particularly in the 2nd tri, and know that it could be much worse.

...

Oh, I love RMNP! I spent several summers in the area when I was in graduate school, working at a music camp, and really got to love it. I even--once--made it to the keyhole on the Long's Peak Trail. We'd started a little late and needed to get down before the midday weather change, or else might have made it the rest of the way. Dh and I were through there last summer and saw a moose from the edge of the road, but no bear. It's amazing--15-20 years ago, in 3 or 4 summers and a couple of random trips, I only ever saw one bear, moving fast, and never a moose. Elk, deer, chipmunks--those were plentiful!
I'm glad that your situational stressors have calmed down a bit. Are you still considering going on medication at some point? And yeah, RMNP is awesome. This was actually the first time I'd been there. My DH is dying to climb Long's Peak, so I'm sure we'll be going back next summer.

And for those who asked, we weren't all that close to the bear. I think my DH used the zoom on the camera to get a better picture. We were probably 50 feet away from him. He was just hanging out near the trail. There were a bunch of other people right there, too, otherwise I might have been a little bit scared. But he was much more interested in the insect grubs he was digging out of a dead tree stump than he was in us.

Living the good life and walking a path of peace with DH and DD (4/09)
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#67 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 02:56 PM
 
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bodhitree: use a kiddopotomus swaddle wrap-babies r us-it has a slit for the lowerstrap and then I strap her in and swaddle over the straps.
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#68 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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I'm glad that your situational stressors have calmed down a bit. Are you still considering going on medication at some point? And yeah, RMNP is awesome. This was actually the first time I'd been there. My DH is dying to climb Long's Peak, so I'm sure we'll be going back next summer.
Yes, I'm thinking about meds at some point, but hoping to hold off for awhile longer, at least. It would be a long-term thing, probably. Wellbutrin worked really well for me. I switched to Zoloft during my first pregnancy, because it had a better documented safety record for breast feeding. Once I went off zoloft--when we started thinking about ttc again--I realized how much better wellbutrin is for me. It's really hard to describe.

I'm not sure that ppd manifests the same as regular depression; that would be an interesting conversation to have with my psychiatrist. But then, even straight-up clinical depression has a lot of different forms, and I suppose there's no reason to think that if one had different episodes they wouldn't manifest in different ways....

Chasm Lake is also an awesome hike. You go up the Long's Peak Trail, then there's a point where you turn left instead of right. I always wanted to go across the park--Bear Lake to Grand Lake--but never quite worked out the logistics of it.

Mom of two girls.
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#69 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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fruitful_womb, sorry to hear that your landlord troubles have escalated. Hope you find a new place soon.

bodhitree, we've got lots of moose up here in Maine. Normally, we just have to drive up our road into the mountains and we'll see several of them on or next to the road.

About weightloss: It's just not working for me. I am about the same weight I was 2 weeks pp. By now, I am convinced that the Zoloft I'm taking for PPD is counteracting any weight loss. Before I went to the beach, I exercised every day for an hour and I'm trying to get back into the habit. Without exercise, I feel sluggish and tend to slip into a negative mindset. But I continue to hope that the exercise will eventually help with the weight too. I can't stay 50 pounds overweight forever.

On car survival tips, DS likes it when we play music in the car. Until now, he doesn't really care what kind of music, but the more rhythmical the better.

Working Mom to DS1 (05/09) and DS2 (08/11). 

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#70 of 71 Old 07-18-2009, 08:09 PM
 
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baby likes music in the car over here too. she esp likes a Dan Zanes CD of "sea songs" that DS and I listened to constantly (and sang along to with gusto) in the car while I was pregnant.

She also likes to watch and chat with her brother when he is there. I might get her some car toys to look at when he's not there. (do you guys have a bar that clips over the top of the seat or something? I swear she's almost too big for the infant carseat, good thing someone also gave us a much bigger convertible one).

so sorry to hear about everyone dealing with PPD and "regular" depression. I've been at my wits end frequently after having baby, but it never feels so overwhelming.

As for weight loss. Sigh, I've gained a pound now. I lost the baby weight fast from this preg- but it was only about 18lbs. But I am a good 20lbs over my pre-baby#1 weight and probably 30 over my ideal (and this, believe me, is a "realistic" ideal- not skinny, just where I was when I was happy and comfortable with my body. I'd be happy with ANY weight loss frankly. I am desperately needing to get time to exercise but its just impossible. I'm alone w/ the two kids from 7:30A-6:30P, and the evening time is so short and furious- getting dinner made, kids to bed, etc. Hoping to get into a new groove during the 3 weeks I'm visiting my parents, who are both on summer break and available to take care of the kiddos for me. Also, DS will be doing 2 weeks of daycamp starting Monday (phew, I'm ready for a break!) and I plan to either to a DVD or take a good brisk walk w/ baby in the wrap every day. Hopefully the weather will cool down a bit!

dissertating mom to three

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#71 of 71 Old 07-19-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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I just wandered over to the belly pics thread... WHAT FUN!

It was nice to reminisce... I highly recommend checking it out ladies.

Kim - momma to Parker James REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif3/31/09 and Eva Lorraine energy.gif3/17/12

 

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