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Old 08-05-2008, 10:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So far I've only told DH and my best friend. I keep feeling like I "should" tell my mom, since we're close and I would want her to know about a loss. Also, I want to ask her about her pregnancies! And I'm definitely looking forward to telling my in-laws. This will be their first grandchild, and I know my MIL has been working very hard (and successfully!) to keep herself from pestering us to have a baby. They're going to be so excited.

For now, though, I feel like I need it to be mostly a secret while DH and I get used to the idea, you know? It still kind of doesn't feel real to me, although it's seeming more and more real every day!

Living the good life and walking a path of peace with DH and DD (4/09)
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:50 PM
 
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We have told everyone we know, and a few we don't even know. LOL!

We were TTC for four years, and when you get a BFP after that long you just can't hold back!!

Carol
Momma to Patrick (8) Corey (7) Lilah- My UBA2C (11 months)
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:57 PM
 
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Just DH for now. I am waiting until after the results of the ultrasound and doctor's appointment on the 15th. The only reason I'm waiting is because my pregnancy has been a little strange so far. I thought I had my period last month but found out a week later I was actually pregnant, and have been spotting all along. I want their support in a loss as well, just things were happening so fast and strangely. Another reason I am waiting too is because my brother just announced his fiancee is expecting in early March. This would be my parents' first grandchild and I don't want to overwhelm them with so much news, especially when I'm not sure how it's going.

Despite all this I just can't wait to tell my and DH's immediate family!

7/2008 & 05/2010
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:57 PM
 
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Everyone knows! I was so in shock to find myself pregnant that it just came out in every conversation I had!

Jenny, proud maker of red things
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:59 PM
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Kristin, I know what you mean about it still not seeming very real. I feel that way too, and did last time at this point in the pregnancy too. Really, it didn't start to feel real until I heard the heartbeat for the first time.
I'm terrible with secrets, and a number of my close friends here are also pg right now, so it's hard not to tell them. I'm trying to wait at least a bit longer before telling more than a handful of people, though.
My general rule of thumb is that during the first trimester I'll only tell people I know I would also tell if I were to lose the pregnancy.
So far, we've told our parents, and DH's sister, and I've told two good local friends (who are also pregnant) and my two best friends (neither of whom lives here).
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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So far (outside of online friends), just DH and I know. I will probably tell my best friend back east first, since he was the first person we told about DS.

We won't tell anyone else until we are *sure* this kid is sticking. Probably not til 13 weeks. Although both sets of parents are slated to visit by the beginning of October, when I'll be 12 weeks, so if I start to look obviously pregnant before then....
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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We've told our parents and most of our siblings. DH has a brother who we don't trust with that kind of information yet and I have a brother who is serving a mission for our church and he will be home in two weeks so if my mom hasn't blabbed it to him by then, then I will tell him when he gets back. We were planning on waiting until 6 weeks to tell anyone but after a few days of it sinking in and starting to feel more real I got bitten by the Have-To-Tell Bug and we decided to just tell my family. Then two days later we decided to tell DH's parents. The very next day DH's brother and wife announced that they are expecting!! We were still planning on keeping it quiet but then decided the day after that to tell since it was so hard to watch them be so open about it and try to keep our secret! lol
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:59 PM
 
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We haven't told anyone yet except dh's sister (who also happens to be my best friend). We're waiting until 10 weeks, main reason being that we would have to tell our ds who is 5 years old first (he has been asking for a sibling every day for over a year now before we told parents, in-laws, etc. He would be devestated if for some reason the pregnancy ended. I figure by 10 weeks we are in the clear.
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Old 08-06-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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We told our parents, siblings, a handful of friends and a few coworkers. We tried for a loooong time and the news is just too good to not share
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:39 AM
 
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I've told everyone by now too! We ttc for 14 months and so it was expected and welcomed very excitedly. I am way too thrilled to keep it a secret.

Rochelle  chartnew.gifff: /home/simplyrochelle  Wife to Matt; angel1.gif 9/08; angel1.gif 11/12;angel1.gif 6/13;

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Old 08-06-2008, 04:19 AM
 
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I've also been waiting a long time and always planned to share my news with my peeps on MDC-- so the whole Infertility forum knows and most of the TTC forum AND all my blog readers (very few of my IRL friends and none of my family know about my blog) all know.

That said... I've ended up telling more people IRL than I intended. My mom knew when my appointment for my IUI was (my birthday, as it turned out), so she called to ask me exactly 2 weeks later. One of my brothers lives with her and she is very excited and told him. So, then I felt like I had to tell the other brother so he doesn't feel left out. I went and had lunch with my Aunt while I was waiting for the results of my second beta... and so I ended up telling her. My friend is getting married next week and she and couple of our very close mutual friends are going to be here for the wedding and I knew I wouldn't get through the visit without letting something slip, so I told them also.

The people who don't know include my dad (my parents are divorced) and DH's family. We just got back from my DH's brother's wedding and it was so hard not to tell them while we were there in person, but DH wanted to wait because he felt it was "too early." And I didn't want to steal my BIL and now SIL's thunder by announcing our pregnancy during their wedding weekend.
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:06 AM
 
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so far just my best friend and my sister, and my ND/friend who is running all my labs. dh of course...but that's it. we are waiting until we confirm a hb before telling everyone else, and even then might wait until i can hide it any longer..

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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So far only DH and I (and our doctors and online friends) know. The last time I found out I was pregnant I told my mom the day I got a BFP as we are very close. It's hard for me to not tell her this time, but she had a hard time keeping the secret last time and told my one Aunt and Uncle although I said I didn't want anyone knowing at that point. I know she means well, but I really want to confirm that this pregnancy is viable before I start telling people. Also, it was hard to go through the m/c as it is and once again my parents mean well, but would ask so many questions and tell me what they thought I should be doing and that was rough too. It was hard to have my dad asking me "how my cycles were" (ie if they were back to normal)

My plan is to tell everyone at about 10 weeks as thats when I will have my first prenantal appointment. I have my first u/s at 6w5d. So by 10 weeks I will feel like we are "in the clear". :::

Michelle

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Old 08-06-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Well, I just found out about two hours ago, lol, so only DH knows (as I poked his groggy, slumbering self: "Are you asleep?" "Well, *grumble grumble*, not anymore...")

I am in no hurry to tell our extended family, since they already think we're crazy to have five. Six surely puts us into the "dangerous loony bin" category. Sigh. If there were a way to not tell them at all and just show up to a family gathering with newborn in tow and get away with it, I swear I'd consider it!

In all fairness, I do think two of my brothers and SILs, who both had babies this summer, WILL be excited for us, since we're providing them with a close-in-age cousin. But even so, I don't plan on telling them until we're out of the first trimester, just to be safe, since I can't count on them not telling the rest of the family.

As for people here in town, though -- I'll definitely be telling my two best gfs today; we share everything, I can't imagine not telling them immediately. And I'd love to tell the kids, but it's just too soon; they'd be so disappointed if anything happened, I don't want to get their hopes up just yet. But it's killing me, b/c they REALLY want another sibling and will be over the moon. And that's the kind of cheering section you want when exhausted and nauseous, you know?

Guin

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Old 08-06-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Only my dh and I (and the RE, nurses and all you mdc folk) know at this point. It still doesn't seem real and we're a bit nervous after trying for so long. I think we'll feel better once we see a heartbeat and tell then, or we might try and hold out for 12 weeks.

Does anyone have a good idea for how to tell parents? This will be their 2nd grandchild (our dd is their first) on both sides and we're looking for something cute. TIA.

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
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Old 08-06-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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After my loss, I really don't want to have to make a big announcement if we have another loss. That said though, I really wear my heart on my sleeve, so I do have to tell some people, but they will be the people I'll cry w/ if I m/c. My "rule of thumb" in my head is "if I don't see/talk to them once a week or more, I probably don't need to go out of my way to tell them". I'm thinking I'll tell other people I see less often (neighbors, my hairdresser, etc) after we hear the heartbeat on doppler (12 weeks-ish) or maybe wait till I start showing (which may also be around 12 weeks since this is my 3rd pregnancy!)

Also, I'm a RN to I have to tell my immediate peers so they understand me avoiding patients w/ certain conditions (shingles, etc).
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Old 08-06-2008, 04:55 PM
 
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I blogged it the day after my BFP, so everyone in my life knew right away. And it was even more fun because it was very much a surprise; no one even knew we were officially trying.

I lost my first pregnancy at 11 weeks, so I did have the thought that perhaps we should wait a while to let everyone know. Then I realized, I am pregnant TODAY, and I want to share that with my friends and family! I also realized, having gone through one miscarriage, that our friends and family are there to support us through anything, and miscarriage isn't something to hide or be ashamed of.

And yes, our DD knows too, and she is very excited. I do wonder how we'd handle it if I did lose this pregnancy, but death is a part of life, so I don't feel it's something we'd have to hide from her, or feel afraid to experience with her.

I'm just enjoying it day by day, and happy that my loved-ones and friends are enjoying it with me.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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Old 08-06-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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We told our children too.

We asked my youngest ds if he wanted a brother or a sister and her replied "One of each, please"

LOL!

Carol
Momma to Patrick (8) Corey (7) Lilah- My UBA2C (11 months)
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:04 PM
 
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We've told the kids and my side of the family knows. We're going out with the in-laws tomorrow night to tell them.

I posted this previously, but here's how we broke the news (or plan to!):

I called my mom (who was on vacation) on her birthday, and said, "I have a present I want to give you today." She was confused as to how I could possibly give her a gift over the phone. I then told her "You're going to be a grandma again." She was over the moon.

As far as my in-laws, I found a fabulous photo-frame months and months ago that I bought that says GRANDKIDS... and each of the 9 letters is cut out of the wood to put a picture in. At the time, I thought it'd make a good birthday/Christmas gift. But, now it will serve as our announcement.

I didn't put it together when I bought the frame, but my in-laws have 7 grandkids so far ("G-R-A-N-D-K-I-") and my SIL is due very soon, so I'll put her latest belly shot in the "D" and I'll stick a picture of the pregnancy test in the last frame "S"! We're going to dinner tomorrow night and will give it to them then.

My close friends that I trust to keep it quiet for now know. And my sister midwife that will be attending my birth knows.

I haven't told clients or the rest of the midwifery community here yet. I'll going to wait on that until I'm out of the first trimester most likely.

And I'm not telling any friends that might leak it yet. Because I feel strongly that *I* need to be the one to tell my clients face-to-face... and I don't want them hearing the news through the grapevine.
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Old 08-07-2008, 02:15 AM
 
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Well, I just found out about two hours ago, lol, so only DH knows (as I poked his groggy, slumbering self: "Are you asleep?" "Well, *grumble grumble*, not anymore...")
Two pregnancies, and two times I have woken up my husband to let him know! The first time he knew I was going to be taking the test, but this time it was a big surprise!

We told my daughter right away, and my sister and mother-in-law. I think my husband has told some other people, too, since he likes *everyone* to know, regardless of the outcome. I keep secrets a little longer- last time my co-workers didn't find out until 14 weeks, and then only because I fainted at work. This time we'll see... I might share the news a little earlier.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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Old 08-07-2008, 08:33 AM
 
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MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god!!! :

Wow, I am so happy we get to do this together again!:

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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Old 08-07-2008, 11:37 AM
 
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So now I've told Amy, too!

I'm so glad we're doing this together again, too :

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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Old 08-07-2008, 11:45 AM
 
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DH, and a few close friends.

We have all our family coming over this weekend for my youngests birthday, I'm not sure if we are telling them yet. And we can't tell the boys if we aren't telling family yet We need to decide soon!

Mama to three wonderful boys and a fabulous baby girl.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops...now a friend of mine from knitting group knows, because she works at the library and saw I was checking out The Joy of Pregnancy. She asked, and I just said we weren't saying anything yet and she could officially find out later. She said she looks forward to congratulating me. I'm just going to assume it falls under some sort of librarian/patron privilege and she probably won't say anything to our other friends.

Living the good life and walking a path of peace with DH and DD (4/09)
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Old 08-08-2008, 03:26 PM
 
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I've been telling all kinds of people. I'm not shy about it! But DH is more reserved, so I'm trying not to go too crazy. I had to tell my boss and some people at work already because I need to sign up for special pregnancy monitoring, like radioactivity and chemicals and stuff (I work in a research lab).

-Alicia
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Old 08-08-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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well, dp is out of town (gets back tomorrow thank god) and i want to tell him in person. so the only people who know are my online friends! lol. i just got my + this am. i wont want to tell anyone till im at least 10 wks and i feel like im in the clear. last time i told my mom, and she told EVERYONE. ugh! i may end up having to tell my boss because with my last pg the nausea was awful. i teach preschool so it would be obvious that *something was going on. lol. my grandma may guess because she seems to know everything, but i think she would keep it to herself. im looking forward to telling my dps sister. they just had a baby and will be happy to have a cousin for her close in age!

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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Old 08-09-2008, 04:00 AM
 
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I showed DH the BFP right away and since he's a man he refused to believe that a faint-ish line is still considered a positive. I've also told my mom who is sworn to secrecy (I fully expect her to blab to my dad though) and she is pressurizing me to tell my brother and SIL even though we haven't even told the in-laws yet! Since it will be my in-laws first grandchild we really want to wait until we see at least a heartbeat on the u/s so they don't get their heart set on it too early. MIL happens to be visiting us right now so DH and I are having fun with our naughty little secret

p.s. I had a little bleeding at about the 4.5-5w mark and then I felt really guilty about telling my mom about the BFP because she also had to endure the agonizing wait for me to see the doctor - I might wait a little longer to tell her next time!

Mama to my cutie girlie luxlove.gif for 2 years and one on the way bouncy.gif (7/7/11)!
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Old 08-09-2008, 04:08 AM
 
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Oops...now a friend of mine from knitting group knows, because she works at the library and saw I was checking out The Joy of Pregnancy.
I know exactly what you mean! I was browsing the pregnancy section in the library (which is patronized by a million people who know my MIL-who we haven't told yet) and kept looking over my shoulder like a common criminal b/c I was worried about getting caught red handed! :

Mama to my cutie girlie luxlove.gif for 2 years and one on the way bouncy.gif (7/7/11)!
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Old 08-09-2008, 09:45 AM
 
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I haven't told a SOUL except for DH and DS (which is only 21months). I prefer to wait - I don't want the nagging questions "You preg. and DS still nursing, when baby is due, you wishing for girl this time huh, doing that HB again. And then they will start nagging DS about things - No thank you - I know how they are - well I should say mostly MIL and a few others. I could tell a few family members and friends that will be cool. And don't mind telling my parents who are on vacation right now as I want my mom to come back up for after this birth but will more than likely wait until after the 1st Tri.

I also am a private person and don't like all the sympathy from people if I were to get a miscarriage(praying not of course), I don't like the pity, sorry type convos, looks, hugs all those emotional things. I would tell them maybe in the future(like after I have a baby) so it will be so gone.

I could have this baby and not tell anybody but then everyone would be really upset and think 'bad' of me.
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Old 08-09-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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We told the boys last night! Our 6yo was thrilled Our 5yo said he'd be happy if we had a boy but he doesn't think we need any more girls in the family (current girls are me and two cats ) and our 11yo was pretty much ambivilant, although he has gone through this two times already!

OUr family is in town today for my 5yo's birthday so we'll be telling my parents, sisters and DH's mom and step dad. Should be interesting

Mama to three wonderful boys and a fabulous baby girl.
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