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#1 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Give One reason the timing of the little bean is good and why it is not.

Good: We did not already go buy a Honda Element (only seats 4)

Bad: My maternity leave will end two weeks before my two older kids get out of school for the summer. Poor DH!!! (Maybe we can afford a nanny or sitter by then--I may propose scrimping and saving, if necessary and see if I can work Mon-Tues, take off Wed-Thur, even if it means using vacation days, and work Fridays for the summer and get a part-time sitter for the days I work. He's a SAHD/writer)
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#2 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 06:38 PM
 
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Good: I didn't go buy a Smart Car. My car is just for getting me back and for to work and for me and the kiddos on weekends when my husband is gone. A Smart Car would be fine for me and DD. But, it won't work for me + 2.

Bad: I'll only have 2 weeks of PTO after the baby arrives. But, it's not really as bad as it sounds. I get 6 weeks of 100% STD pay and then have to use the 2 week of PTO. I can take 4 weeks of UPTO but, I don't think we can afford it.

With DD I only took ~5 weeks off because it was all unpaid.
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#3 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 06:54 PM
 
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Good: Because we wanted it. Because DH payed off a big loan not too long ago, freeing up some cash flow. Because I wanted a baby before I turned 30.

Bad: Now I need to save like $4000 in 9 months and my job is only secure until December. If I can stay on at my current place of work, I'll have three or four weeks of vacation + and sick time not used to help with maternity leave, but I'll need to worry about health care and everything else after that. If I get laid off before finding another job I'm screwed. Oh, and I can't talk to DH about any of this stuff because he totally freaks out.

Good again - DH signed up for a hospitalization policy for me with AFAC that will pay some money for birth (vag or C).

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#4 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 06:59 PM
 
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Good: Because I'll have a chance to have a baby in Chicago in the SPRING!!! and if I get the same amout of discretionary leave on top of my paid leave that I had with dd, I'll have the entire summer off! Woo hoo!!!

Bad: We'll most likely have to get a new car and will have just paid off our second car this month or next. The other bad is that I failed to sign up for my FSA for this year, so, I'll have to cover 20% of my costs once I head over to my midwife in September. Plus, I'm covering the costs associated with the acupuncture care I've opted for and may have to cover some of the costs of my chiropractic care since I haven't met the deductible on my insurance yet this year.

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
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#5 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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Bad: because we had planned for me to finish my phd in december and apply for academic positions for next fall...with a newborn, i won't be applying for positions and the nausea/fatigue is putting a damper on my dissertation writing.

Good: because this little baby was meant to be, and it's perfect timing in a grander sense that i can't even imagine right now.
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#6 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 07:20 PM
 
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good: because we really wanted this...

bad: dh just got laid off (3 days after getting the bfp) and we are in debt up to our eyeballs (were going to be able to start paying down alot of it between his job and my childcare money - i take care of 3 kids plus my own. 2 of them have been gone all summer but will be back in a couple weeks so we were stoked because we finally had a handle on things). so now we are a bit stressed over how we are going to pay midwife and our house bills AND our stupid debt...

but overall, it's all good and we'll get through it somehow...we really wanted this baby..

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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#7 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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Good: the due date is at the very beginning of the spring quarter, so I'll have 1-2 weeks off beforehand in addition to 6-8 before going back on "modified duties" (i.e. advising mostly). Then the summer. :

Bad: In a perfect world, we would have conceived earlier. At 44, I'm at the outer edge of my comfort zone.

Mom of two girls.
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#8 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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: hey clara's mom..i'm 43 so i hear you on age...

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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#9 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 08:39 PM
 
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well, it is kinda good and bad that this happened at the beginning of my going back to school. Bad because i am afraid pregnancy might break my focus and also is due in the middle of a semester so ill have to go back to class asap. but only for a few weeks (and i'll spread out my classes so im only gone for 1 at a time to not interfere with nursing). And then i can take the summer off to be with my kidS Good because with this timing baby will get to stay home with me or dp (or possibly grandma or grandpa) and we wont have to send him/her to daycare as a baby or toddler. I'll probably start working full time just as baby will be ready for preschool.

another reason the timing is bad is me and dp haven't gotten married yet. we were planning it for spring break or may. but i dont want a wedding while i am big and pg and i dont want to go on a honeymoon and leave a new baby. previously we had agreed that an exotic honeymoon was what we wanted most. now it seems like we need to skip it entirely... so we are now confused about when to get married.

but it is good because we want to have a baby. ds is already 6.5 and that's a big enough gap between siblings. DP also is glad of the timing in that it looks like his child will be his parents' 1st grandchild. he is the oldest and he didn't want his sisters to have babies before he did!

Mama to 3 boys 

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#10 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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Good: We just bought a Honda Odyssey and a Phil and Ted's stroller with the extra seat. This baby was also VERY much wanted and dreamed of.

Bad: we just moved from England to Alabama and I was already feeling a bit overwhelmed, but the thought of 2 baabies 20 months apart terrifies me. DS went on a nursing strike about a month before my BFP and I was an exclusively pumper, but my milk dried up.

Michelle, mama to spirited toddler Liam (August 20, 2007) and high needs baby Ben (April 6, 2009)
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#11 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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good- um, the carseat for DS won't expire?

bad- DS has major health issues, we are drowning financially because my work options are limited to WAH or something that pays enough to afford a nanny in our home (DS has an immune disorder). I really need spinal surgery, and we are in major debt from moving x-country for DH's newish job.
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#12 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 09:09 PM
 
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michelle,
i am in alabama. there is no air force around here, tho, so i am guessing you are not gulf coast (which is where i am).
where did ya'll land?

Mama to 3 boys 

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#13 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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Good- We have been TTC for four years, and had fertility appointments scheduled.

Bad- I really didn't think I was going to conceive so I was planning on attending midwifery school in TX next year. Guess that will have to wait a few years until I am comfortable leaving a little one for more than... oh, I don't know.. five minutes. LOL!

Carol
Momma to Patrick (8) Corey (7) Lilah- My UBA2C (11 months)
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#14 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catballou24 View Post
: hey clara's mom..i'm 43 so i hear you on age...
So good not to be alone!

Mostly, right now, I'm hoping people will just be happy for us. But my mom--in all seriousness, usually the soul of tact, and one would expect the best reaction from her--was just sort of dumbfounded. She got over it pretty quickly, but still.... The rest will hear about it after the first appointment, when there's concrete information (heartbeat, number of little beans, etc.) to offer.

Mom of two girls.
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#15 of 38 Old 08-12-2008, 11:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
michelle,
i am in alabama. there is no air force around here, tho, so i am guessing you are not gulf coast (which is where i am).
where did ya'll land?

I am in Montgomery.

We lived in Ft. Walton from 2003-2005 so I am familiar w/ the Gulf Coast.

Another bad: this limits our timing as far as DH deciding if he wants to leave the Air Force

Michelle, mama to spirited toddler Liam (August 20, 2007) and high needs baby Ben (April 6, 2009)
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#16 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 12:08 AM
 
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Good: We're back in Canada- with good medical coverage and a year paid maternity leave. My husband got a new job three days before we found out. We have been wanting another baby, and were starting to feel ready for it. A spring baby! And my husband will have the whole summer off at home with us.

Bad: I just started a new job with a one-year contract for the relocation expenses. My Canadian medical is still pending paperwork. We just signed a one-year lease on a not very big suite. My "perfect" timing would have been a fall baby with a year maternity leave carrying us until my daughter is starting kindergarten (so less childcare $$$ when I go back to work)

2sweetlilfoxes~ My husband is a SAHD/writer right now, too. He just got a job teaching creative writing at a university starting this September.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#17 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 01:31 AM
 
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Good: Another wee one to love and expand our family!

Bad: Well, there's not really any bad when it comes to new life in the world, but finances are a bit tight with us being a single-income family with medical bills and some credit card debt. Also, DH's company is changing insurance carriers at the beginning of the year and we don't know if they will even COVER midwifery care. That will be interesting...:

SAHMtranstichel.gif to DD1joy.gif(9/06), DD2energy.gif(4/09), DS1 kid.gif (1/11), and DS2 wild.gif (2/12)
knit.giflactivist.gifsigncirc1.gif Surprise! pos.gif #5 due 12/16/13 2ndtri.gif

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#18 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 05:02 AM
 
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Good: been trying for six+ irregular cycles and feel so gosh darn blessed to finally have something stick. Plus we really want a house full of kids...we love kids.

Bad: our adoption plans are now on hold (again); the only local midwife will be out of the country close to my dd, so she's out; and our $2500 deductible resets on March 31st...four days before my due date. And I never go early...
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#19 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 08:29 AM
 
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Good: We really wanted our third before I turned 35 (I'll be 34), my best friend is also pregnant with her third, DS 1 will be in preschool.

Bad: 3 under 4 scares me a bit, we realized that we will have 3 in college at the same time---ahhhhhh!
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#20 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 08:35 AM
 
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Good: We have been trying for this baby for almost a year. I didn't have to wean my dd or go on clomid to get pregnant. I will have a spring baby.

Bad: I got a toothache right when I got pregnant and my dentist won't do anything about it until the second trimester so I just have to deal with it for awhile.

Aimee - Wife to one hard working DH, SAHM to DD - Sunshine (5), DD - Cupcake (3), DS - Boo (1), and expecting a Surprise - Oct 2010!
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#21 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 09:55 AM
 
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Good: We have been grappling with the idea of #3 for over a year. We decided for good and it didn't take us that long to get a BFP. Also I am a school counselor (part-time) and with an April baby I can take off the rest of the year and through the summer so #3 will be almost 6 months old before entering daycare. :

Bad: I am a little older than I would have liked (almost 36) and there is a little bigger gap between #2 and #3 than I would have liked (almost 4 years). And I will have to take some unpaid leave for like 6 weeks or so b/c I don't qualify for FMLA and can't use sick time after my medical leave part is done.
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#22 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 10:23 AM
 
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Good:
We waited until dd#1 turned 2 to TTC this one because I was afraid she would wean during pregnancy and wanted to make sure she was at least 2 first. It only took 4 cycles, and she will be almost 3 when this one comes, which is the spacing we wanted. If it's a girl, we already have everything because they will be the same season.

Bad:
Our daycare provider will already be full because 2 of the other kids are having new siblings before us, so we'll either have to split ours up or else put them both in a new place even though we love our current provider and dd#1 has been with her since 3 months old.

-Alicia
tandem nursing mommy to Cadence (5/19/06) and Tessa (4/25/09)
My blog: LactationNarration.com
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#23 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racie0417 View Post
Good: We just bought a Honda Odyssey and a Phil and Ted's stroller with the extra seat. This baby was also VERY much wanted and dreamed of.

Bad: we just moved from England to Alabama and I was already feeling a bit overwhelmed, but the thought of 2 baabies 20 months apart terrifies me. DS went on a nursing strike about a month before my BFP and I was an exclusively pumper, but my milk dried up.
Are you in Montgomery, AL? That's the only airforce base I know of there. If so, I lived there for four years (and gave birth to my dd there). So if you want tips and suggestions about where to go and where not to go, etc., as far as kid stuff, hospitals, midwifes, etc., pm me.
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#24 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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Good: I wanted a new baby. It was a now or never choice.

Bad: My husband is leaving in January for a 13 month stint in Iraq.

Minions...I've got minions. Sheepish.gifblahblah.gifangel2.gifkid.gif  And dogs.  
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#25 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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Good:
I have had baby fever and we all have really wanted another baby for so long. I'll have almost two months of sick leave by then which I can take for taking care of the baby, and I can also do unpaid leave through FMLA if I need to. By that time my husband will have a new job somewhere in the country and I can be a SAHM.

Bad:
Our stress level is at an all time high with my job extremely busy, my dh in graduate school, we just got a new puppy (a couple days before I got ), we're spaying and neutering and trying to find homes for kittens living under our house, and neither of us have any time to clean the house.
Do they have a smilie for pulling my hair out?!
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#26 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 12:25 PM
 
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Good: We finally decided that we wanted a second and it happened within 2 months. Our son will be just about to start K so we won't have childcare expenses for 2. Our son could not be more excited about the idea of a baby.

Bad: Dh's job is unstable. We've had a lot of unexpected expenses recently.
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#27 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 04:20 PM
 
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Bad: My husband is leaving in January for a 13 month stint in Iraq.
oh damn. Sheesh, and I thought it was just commercials that made me well up...

Let's see...

Good: We just got a new house - with an extra room - for the baby. Perfect timing! We found out about the house and the baby on the same day, in fact...

Bad: I'm old. Thirty-eight now, thirty-nine when baby will arrive.

Autumn (1990) Blake (1993) Zoe (2001) Dmitrios (2002) and William (April 2009) born still @ 39 wks - my 4ever
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#28 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 06:14 PM
 
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I think there's some forty-something mamas on this thread. Careful what you call old . Good Luck!

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#29 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 09:08 PM
 
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good: we really wanted this baby, and it happened before the age gap between baby and dd got too big.

bad: we will have to move about march, and i want to stay home and try to do an in- home preschool, but we will be broke while im trying to get kids enrolled. i guess i just dont like not knowing where we will be living, and knowing for sure how our financial situation will be. im sure everything will work out though!

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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#30 of 38 Old 08-13-2008, 10:50 PM
 
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Good: We wanted our kids to be close in age and now #1 and #2 will be 20 months apart. Also, it happened on only my 2nd PP cycle so we were very lucky it didn't take much effort.

Bad: We had just decided to try to sell our house AND a really great job for DH opened up back in our hometown (where all of our family lives). It would be great if the house sells and he gets the job and we can move back. But during my last pregnancy DH changed jobs and we moved - NOT FUN!:

Wife to DH (September '05) and mama to energy.gifEzri (August '07), superhero.gif Oz (April '09) and slingboy.gif Ezekiel (August '11).

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