Why don't you just do it the traditional way? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is the question my husband asked me this morning when I mentioned that I was going to enroll in the Centering program at our hospital. It is a group of 8-10 women with similar due dates who together meet every few weeks with a midwife and hold discussions related to our pregnancies and have our exams. Maybe I should reassure him that it is only for extremely low risk pregnancies and if anything happens to change my risk level, I will be immediately referred to an OB, who will take over care. Besides, this baby will be born in a tertiary center. The only thing they could not handle would be neonatal heart transplant (there is a nearby hospital that can, should it be necessary). I see it as taking responsibility for my own care in partnership with the wisdom of my provider. I think he'd rather me submit to the medical model of care and not question. He fears something going wrong, then what? I believe that childbearing is a normal function.
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#2 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 02:23 PM
 
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What a marvelous sounding program! You might point out to your dh that it's sponsored by the hospital and therefore has the Medical Establishment Seal of Approval. Best of both worlds, imo.

Mom of two girls.
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#3 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 03:04 PM
 
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We're doing this at my Birth Center. I'm really looking forward to it. My husband was sold on it because it counts for my mandatory birthing class and he doesn't have to go every time . You also get better care because your (shared) time with the midwife is longer. Maybe these ideas will be of help. My husband never objected to me going to a birth center, but until he met the midwife and saw how professional and doctor-like she was he was still concerned about it not being "medically sound" or something. I know he's afraid of what might happen to me (and the baby). He's probably more afraid than I am because he has less control and less understanding. Good Luck!

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#4 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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What's the "traditional way" I wonder?? I'm so glad DP and I are on the same page with having a homebirth this time. If I could just get him to stop worrying about the cost.....

Maybe your husband will be more comfortable with it after he meets the midwife or attends one of the sessions.

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#5 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 03:33 PM
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That does sound like a great model! My DH was a little skeptical of a MW last time until, like a PP said, he met with her and grew much more comfortable. This time, I'm having a harder time talking him into a home birth, but I'm hoping that when we meet with the homebirth-midwife practice next week to see if I like them (one of only two in my city, sadly), he'll like them if i do, and will start to feel more comfortable with the idea. For some reason, a lot of men seem to have a harder time adapting to a less-mainstream way of doing things, but hopefully he'll get on board as you go along.

And I agree with the person who wondered what, exactly, "traditional" is. I see a homebirth, frankly as the most traditional option we can go with, even though I know it's an unusual choice for most Americans these days...
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That does sound like a great model! My DH was a little skeptical of a MW last time until, like a PP said, he met with her and grew much more comfortable. This time, I'm having a harder time talking him into a home birth, but I'm hoping that when we meet with the homebirth-midwife practice next week to see if I like them (one of only two in my city, sadly..
What? There are only two homebirth midwives in Chicago?

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#7 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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that program sounds great! ive never heard of anything like that. hopefully your hubby will come around.

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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#8 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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That does sound like a great model! My DH was a little skeptical of a MW last time until, like a PP said, he met with her and grew much more comfortable. This time, I'm having a harder time talking him into a home birth, but I'm hoping that when we meet with the homebirth-midwife practice next week to see if I like them (one of only two in my city, sadly), he'll like them if i do, and will start to feel more comfortable with the idea. For some reason, a lot of men seem to have a harder time adapting to a less-mainstream way of doing things, but hopefully he'll get on board as you go along.

And I agree with the person who wondered what, exactly, "traditional" is. I see a homebirth, frankly as the most traditional option we can go with, even though I know it's an unusual choice for most Americans these days...
If you're meeting with A Woman's Place, I can recommend them! Both Jewel and Jennifer (I've not yet met their new partner) were present for my 2005 homebirth and Jennifer was especially wonderful.

To the OP, maybe some education for your husband about how your being confident in this process will lead to a better birth experience for you may be persuasive? We had a home birth with our first, and honestly, I think I would have been freaked out in a hospital. We also live 8 blocks from the University of Chicago Children's Hospital, so, I was comfortable that, if I had to transfer, I could in a timely manner. I just felt (and still feel) that certain aspects of what is now the norm in a hospital setting would actually create stress in my body that I might not be able to release and that it would potentially have a negative impact on the birth process. Whatever is comforting, encouraging and empowering about this process for you, perhaps, sharing that with your dh will help him "get it".

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
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#9 of 30 Old 09-03-2008, 09:57 PM
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If you're meeting with A Woman's Place, I can recommend them! Both Jewel and Jennifer (I've not yet met their new partner) were present for my 2005 homebirth and Jennifer was especially wonderful.
Good to hear! that is indeed who we're meeting with.
And to the pp who asked - yes, there are only two home-birth practices (one of them with three midwives, one with a single midwife) that are licensed in Chicago. It's sad. The state still won't license direct-entry midwives, only CNMs, and very few of the CNMs here do home births. I think there are one or two more out in the suburbs, and there are certainly underground midwives who are probably very good, but the legal options are few and far between. Also no birth centers, though a new bill should finally change that. They've been trying to get a bill passed for a few years that would license direct-entry midwives, but no luck so far..
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#10 of 30 Old 09-04-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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Traditionally speaking, alone or or with a midwife would be 'traditional'. We've only been birthing babies in hospitals as a modern society since around the 1920's.

I found it easy to talk to dh about home and water birth because we had a good friend that had that experience. Even before becomming pregnant I told him my need for midwife support during pregnancy.

There are many books and articles, here's another, websites with info.

The main thing that helped ease Dh's mind was taking prenatal classes of the Attachment Parenting sort. They were definatly more natural minded, midwife centred, etc. It made dh realize how natural a process birth is and why would we want to mess around with it, with drugs and interventions and hospitals if you don't need to.
Dh is very skeptical and scientific minded so when he read things showing that midwives and homebirths are statistically safer, we were in agreement as to where ds would be born.

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#11 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What's the "traditional way" I wonder?? I'm so glad DP and I are on the same page with having a homebirth this time. If I could just get him to stop worrying about the cost.....

Maybe your husband will be more comfortable with it after he meets the midwife or attends one of the sessions.
Traditional way according to dads (specifically--my husband): OB. Epidural. Constant monitoring to catch anything that may go wrong early. I really think he wants me to get the epidural as soon as I step foot in the hospital.

I'll just do whatever I want. He does not have to attend the sessions anyhow. He might just come for the 20-ish-week ultrasound. Besides, if they are in the afternoon, he'll need to be home for when the kids get off the bus.
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#12 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 12:56 PM
 
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I really want to suggest hiring a doula, she would be a great support person and would be encouraging of a natural birth. There is nothing worse than being in labour and having your support person telling you and staff to get the drugs ready.
A doula isn't going to take over the role of the dad but will actually inhance his experience so he'll know how to fully support you.
If he continues to have the same medical view and also doesn't go to prenatal classes with you, he's not going to have a clue what is going on and will probably be really scared.

I really hope you can bring him to prenatal classes that aren't MD oriented. It will change his experience in the labour and delivery room for sure.

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#13 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He was present for our daughter's birth. We did not intend to "go natural" and had moved so many times during my pregnancy that we were not prepared. I think he's remembering that--how he had to lay on me to keep me down and that I nearly broke his arm grasping it so hard. I got a doula with our son because he was in Iraq so that I would have a support person. I really want one for this birth. I think I will start searching so I can save for it.
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#14 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 01:25 PM
 
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'He had to lay on me to keep me down'

I'm not understanding this part of your post. He laid on you while you were labouring?

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#15 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't recall exactly. Amazing how we get amnesia about childbirth, isn't it? But I don't think he actually laid ON me, more like I kept balling up into a sitting position and the monitor kept slipping, so the nurse told him that I needed to "stay still" so they could get a good reading to determine if I needed the epidural yet. Duh--my contractions were a minute and a half long with a minute between start to start. Then I had to push and they did not believe me (had just been checked and I was at barely 5 and told me I had hours left and the anesthesiologist would be there as soon as they finished with an emergency c-section--who does planned sections at 11 pm?). They "lost" the baby's heartbeat on the monitor and the nurse came in all panicky only to find out that the baby had shifted and was ready to be born. And there were no beds available in the delivery room, so she was born in the labor room. In fact, there were women who had been in the delivery room while I was still in triage that had not yet delivered. I'm sure if I'd had an epidural in place, they would have just increased the dose to keep me from delivering until a bed came open.
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#16 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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That's kind of funny and kind of sad. I've had both my children at home and I'm planning my third homebirth. I did go to the hospital while I was in labor with my daughter and they tried to get me to lie back with the monitor strapped to me. I wasn't very cooperative. You're instincts to sit up are good! I kept doing the same thing. I'd already had a baby naturally and he as a difficult bugger but lying back in that position was awful! I kept screwing up their reading. I know now that if I were to ever go back to hospital again while in labor I would refuse the damn thing.
The first nurse's shift was over (the fetal monitor nurse) the next nurse came in and said, "oh do you want me to get the birth ball- I can just follow you around to get a good reading, don't worry about it". Whew, what a difference a nurse makes in the hospital!
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#17 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Have you two watched The Business of Being Born together?

Bradley Teacher, Doula, Wife To DH (6 yrs), Mama to DS (9/07), DS (4/09), and due in February of 2011
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#18 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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yes, the traditional way would definitely be at home with a midwife in attendance.
IKWYM about the fetal monitor. With DS1 I was in the hospital, not knowing to question or rebel against doctor's orders and "routine" procedures. They had a monitor screwed in to my poor baby's head. At one point, his heart rate totally stopped and I was FREAKING out SCREAMING for someone to come save my baby...took them 4 or 5 minutes to even come in. I got bitched at by the nurse for freaking out. His hr had not stopped. The thing came out of his head and so she had to stick it in again. My poor baby was completely healthy but suffered a lot during and after his birth because of medical over management.
I would feel so much better planning to birth at home this time, but like yours, my dp is opposed to this and wants me in the hospital. Im hoping to be able to keep control as much as i can tho, and tell them NO when they are too invasive.

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#19 of 30 Old 09-05-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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I've had both my children at home and I'm planning my third homebirth. I did go to the hospital while I was in labor with my daughter and they tried to get me to lie back with the monitor strapped to me. I wasn't very cooperative. You're instincts to sit up are good! I kept doing the same thing. I'd already had a baby naturally and he as a difficult bugger but lying back in that position was awful! I kept screwing up their reading. I know now that if I were to ever go back to hospital again while in labor I would refuse the damn thing.
I want to hear more of this story... You went to the hospital in labor, but had both of your children at home? Did it suck so much you left to go have the baby at home

To the OP- Centering pregnancy is a highly researched, "best practice" method of prenatal care. I bet you'll love it!

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#20 of 30 Old 09-08-2008, 12:09 PM
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medical over management.
I would feel so much better planning to birth at home this time, but like yours, my dp is opposed to this and wants me in the hospital. Im hoping to be able to keep control as much as i can tho, and tell them NO when they are too invasive.
I"m hoping to have a home birth instead of a hospital birth this time as well, but just wanted to comment to this poster that it IS possible (at least at the right hospitals) to keep interventions to a minimum even in a hospital. I had my first baby in a natural birth at a hospital, and they did only intermittent external fetal monitoring - for about 20 minutes when i first came in, but after that, just for a few minutes every hour, and they could even do it while I was laboring in a tub. No reason for me to lie back at all. They let me walk around, try different positions, etc. What helped was both choosing a hospital that I knew had a reputation as being better with natural births, and also having a midwife who could advocate for me and let the nurses know what I wanted. You DON'T need to have an internal monitor, or be forced to lie down and be still, even at a hospital. It just takes a little extra pushiness and knowing what you want sometimes.
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#21 of 30 Old 09-08-2008, 12:35 PM
 
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I"m hoping to have a home birth instead of a hospital birth this time as well, but just wanted to comment to this poster that it IS possible (at least at the right hospitals) to keep interventions to a minimum even in a hospital. I had my first baby in a natural birth at a hospital, and they did only intermittent external fetal monitoring - for about 20 minutes when i first came in, but after that, just for a few minutes every hour, and they could even do it while I was laboring in a tub. No reason for me to lie back at all. They let me walk around, try different positions, etc. What helped was both choosing a hospital that I knew had a reputation as being better with natural births, and also having a midwife who could advocate for me and let the nurses know what I wanted. You DON'T need to have an internal monitor, or be forced to lie down and be still, even at a hospital. It just takes a little extra pushiness and knowing what you want sometimes.
While I agree with knowing what you want and having an advocate, such as a midwife or doula with you, if you read your own words "they let me" you have to acknowledge that the balance of power shifts when you enter a hospital. They are now in charge, not you, and they LET you do things... sometimes... if it doesn't freak them out... if they have a "nice" nurse on shift... if you have a "nice" OB or Midwife who will, again, "Let" you do things your own way.

Language is such a powerful thing. Consider when you are at home, or when you read of homebirth accounts, you will almost always here things in the first person... I walked around, I got in the tub, I squatted and birthed my baby.
There really is a HUGE difference between hospital and home birth.
Educating your DH as to the risks and benefits of both locations may help him to feel more comfortable about a homebirth. Talking to a HBMW and reading and watching videos should help too.

My DH is a HUGE homebirth advocate now, but when we were pregnant with #2, I suggested home birth and he said, oh NO, but what if something HAPPENS?
We laugh a little about that now, cause something DOES happen.... the baby comes out.
#3 he caught her! #4, I caught her!

HTH

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#22 of 30 Old 09-08-2008, 02:06 PM
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While I agree with knowing what you want and having an advocate, such as a midwife or doula with you, if you read your own words "they let me" you have to acknowledge that the balance of power shifts when you enter a hospital. They are now in charge, not you, and they LET you do things... sometimes... if it doesn't freak them out... if they have a "nice" nurse on shift... if you have a "nice" OB or Midwife who will, again, "Let" you do things your own way.
Sorry, I don't think I was clear. I agree completely, and that's part of the reason why I want a home birth this time even though I adore my old midwife (who only practices in hospitals) and had a GREAT natural birth despite numerous complications in a hospital.
But the poster I was responding to had stated that a home birth was likely out of the question for her, and yet had described a hospital birth with WAY more interventions than are required even in most hospitals, if you know what to ask for, have a good advocate, and choose the hospital wisely. I just wanted to make sure she knew that you CAN have a hospital birth with far fewer interventions than she had the last time.
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#23 of 30 Old 09-08-2008, 04:51 PM
 
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I want to hear more of this story... You went to the hospital in labor, but had both of your children at home? Did it suck so much you left to go have the baby at home
It's a funny story! Especially the part when I'm in full on labor walking out of the hospital doors. The looks I got were priceless!

I'll try and give you the abbreviated version: Labor started and I was having some unusually bloody show. I went in to see my midwife and she wasn't sure what to make of it but didn't feel the placenta lying on my cervix. We decided if things got worse I should go get an emergency u/s just to be safe.
The blood got worse and it was clotty as well, so we headed in. I was in full-blown labor, was convinced I was never getting out of there. I had the worst emergency room check-in experience- in labor with an impatient intake person not understanding that I wasn't able to give out ss#'s and have a contraction at the same time!
Had to wait forever in the luxurious "birthing suite" they put me in. Several nurses told me how they would want to give birth there. I'm looking around at a bare room with hospital bed and linoleum floor, thinking- are you guys all nutso? Where does a girl squat around here???? Besides my big, deep birth tub was back at home!
Any way- one mean nurse who was fixated on fetal monitor and my lying back in the hospital bed, one nice nurse who brought out birthing ball and was willing to walk around to get a reading.... a couple of hours and labor completely stalled out- the nurses didn't like my contractions, thought they were "grumpy". They actually used the term grumpy. Finally I got the u/s and they couldn't find a damn thing wrong. I wasn't bleeding, the placenta was in a good spot, baby was fine and dandy so the Ob looked at me and said, "do you want to go home?" and I said, "YES, PLEASE!". So home I went. I literally jumped in the back of the car and said drive! DH drove home, I jumped in the birth tub, relaxed and out she popped an hour later with out a tear- All 9lb 13 ounces of her. The easiest birth!

Needless to say, the experience didn't help to change my view about giving birth in hospitals. Stalled labor... inability to get in a good position to birth my big girl in, mean nurses, etc.... etc....

Hopefully I'll never have to go back (while in labor!).
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#24 of 30 Old 09-08-2008, 05:04 PM
 
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Sounds like you were at an old-school hospital. Funny how oftentimes the stress of a birth is only half labor. The other half is fighting off the medics.

Don't get frustrated with your dh. He just wants the absolute best outcome. Reassure him.
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#25 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 03:29 AM
 
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Sorry, I don't think I was clear. I agree completely, and that's part of the reason why I want a home birth this time even though I adore my old midwife (who only practices in hospitals) and had a GREAT natural birth despite numerous complications in a hospital.
But the poster I was responding to had stated that a home birth was likely out of the question for her, and yet had described a hospital birth with WAY more interventions than are required even in most hospitals, if you know what to ask for, have a good advocate, and choose the hospital wisely. I just wanted to make sure she knew that you CAN have a hospital birth with far fewer interventions than she had the last time.
It could have been me not understanding you too, I'm pretty short on sleep.

I firmly believe that in MOST hospitals in the US it is virtually impossible to get no or very few interventions in your birth, unless A. you have a precipitous labor, less than 2 hours, there's very little time to "mess" with you, B. you have excellent support staff, your own hired doula or midwife who is able to effectively communicate with hospital staff and or C. you or your spouse are well informed AND well able to fend off all the various attacks that come in the form of "well, don't you want a healthy baby" i.e. the "dead baby" card that many health care professionals, whether they admit it or not, use to "scare" women into compliance with their protocols or policies.

It's NOT about what is best for each individual woman laboring in a hospital.
WOMEN MUST KNOW THIS!
It is about what is BEST FOR THAT PARTICULAR HOSPITAL and OBGYN. It is often about ass-covering. It is often about liability. It is often about being able to say in court "I did everything medically possible". It is often about what their insurance carriers insist upon. It is about money, power and not getting sued.

Women need to WAKE UP and STOP LYING to themselves and saying "oh, but not MY doctor... he's wonderful!"
Dr. Wonderful was trained in the pathology of birth and labor. When you HAVE pathology, in other words, when something really IS wrong, then it is very valuable to have Dr. Wonderful on your team, if you need an emergency section or you have medical issues that are complicating your normal physiological event (labor/birth) then that's what OB's are useful for.
When you DO NOT have pathology, in other words, when you have a normal, straighforward birth with normal variations in length, pain tolerances, fatigue, but when all is within NORMAL parameters, Dr. Wonderful really doesn't have any business within 100 yards of you. Dr. Wonderful is NOT NEEDED.
All a normal, healthy birthing mother needs is SUPPORT. A doula, a midwife, a friend, a husband, a partner... those people who love her, who have gotten to know her, who have forged a bond with her. Those with whom she can relax and be herself and be in charge. Those she can TRUST.

Women.... you are NOT likely to have a normal, un-interferred with birth in a US hospital today. Start educating yourselves.
Stop reading that drivel about what you can expect and start learning the truth about what really happens every day. What is happening today, right now, as you're reading this. What happened yesterday and what will happen tomorrow.
Read "Pushed" by Jennifer Block. It's cheap, on Amazon. Read Mardsen Wagner's book "Born in the USA". It is also cheap, on Amazon. Read "Immaculate Deception" by Suzanne Arms. Read books by Ina May Gaskin, by Michel Odent, by others in the birth field who know the TRUTH and are not afraid to stand up and SAY it.

Man... there is SO much information out there. NO woman birthing today can say "I didn't know..." with a clear conscience. You can get most of these books at the library for FREE. If you can't GET to the library, many communities have groups or organizations that will bring library books to you, if you're housebound or just don't have transportation. You can contact local LLL, doulas, midwives, many will be willing to bring you books, help you search for answers.

I know I'm up on my soapbox again, but I guess I will have to keep on standing up on it, as long as women need to hear it.

Don't just be a sheeple and go along with whatever your dr. wonderful says. EDUCATE yourself! It's your body, it's your baby, it's your birth. Don't cheat yourself! Find out what's best, what's right, what resonates with you and DO it. BE strong. BE empowered. Surround yourself with those who are also strong and empowered and who believe in you and the power of your body.

- Jen
out of breath for now, but wait till I catch it! lol

Mom of 5 working full-time and waiting to go to nursing school! Whew! I need a nap! joy.gif

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#26 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 03:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2sol View Post
It's a funny story! Especially the part when I'm in full on labor walking out of the hospital doors. The looks I got were priceless!

I'll try and give you the abbreviated version: Labor started and I was having some unusually bloody show. I went in to see my midwife and she wasn't sure what to make of it but didn't feel the placenta lying on my cervix. We decided if things got worse I should go get an emergency u/s just to be safe.
The blood got worse and it was clotty as well, so we headed in. I was in full-blown labor, was convinced I was never getting out of there. I had the worst emergency room check-in experience- in labor with an impatient intake person not understanding that I wasn't able to give out ss#'s and have a contraction at the same time!
Had to wait forever in the luxurious "birthing suite" they put me in. Several nurses told me how they would want to give birth there. I'm looking around at a bare room with hospital bed and linoleum floor, thinking- are you guys all nutso? Where does a girl squat around here???? Besides my big, deep birth tub was back at home!
Any way- one mean nurse who was fixated on fetal monitor and my lying back in the hospital bed, one nice nurse who brought out birthing ball and was willing to walk around to get a reading.... a couple of hours and labor completely stalled out- the nurses didn't like my contractions, thought they were "grumpy". They actually used the term grumpy. Finally I got the u/s and they couldn't find a damn thing wrong. I wasn't bleeding, the placenta was in a good spot, baby was fine and dandy so the Ob looked at me and said, "do you want to go home?" and I said, "YES, PLEASE!". So home I went. I literally jumped in the back of the car and said drive! DH drove home, I jumped in the birth tub, relaxed and out she popped an hour later with out a tear- All 9lb 13 ounces of her. The easiest birth!

Needless to say, the experience didn't help to change my view about giving birth in hospitals. Stalled labor... inability to get in a good position to birth my big girl in, mean nurses, etc.... etc....

Hopefully I'll never have to go back (while in labor!).
That is a HILARIOUS story! Good for you leaving! YAY!
I love the term "grumpy". I suppose I'd have to go to RN school to be able to use that term, though. I'm just a lowly midwife student, so I have to be careful if I want to use a technical term like grumpy. Perhaps I could say the contractions are just irritable? maybe they're just tired? or just slightly annoyed, but not grumpy?
hahaha
- Jen

Mom of 5 working full-time and waiting to go to nursing school! Whew! I need a nap! joy.gif

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#27 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 09:06 AM
 
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Where I live (ex-burbs, I guess you'd call them), the closest decent hospital is 30 minutes away (no traffic). There don't seem to be many midwives around, but there are a few that may be willing to come to my area. I'm not really comfortable with the home birth idea because of the distance from the hospital, and honestly, I'm not so sure about the ambulance service in my town (think: bumbling idiots, although thats probably not fair - but my neighbors son had to go to the ER via ambulance, and they got LOST trying to meet another ambulance to transfer her son to get him to the hospital - I don't know what the story was with THAT, but I'd like to avoid dealing with them regardless). There are no birthing centers within an hour's drive. In light of this, I've opted for that hospital that is 30 minutes away, so that I'm already there. I've toured the hospital - they've just opened their new birthing center (last month)- all private delivery & recovery rooms, with beds for the dads built right in. Birthing tubs. Wireless fetal monitoring so we can walk around (wireless internet, too, although I can't really imagine why). little kitchenettes. I know several friends who gave birth there within the past year, and no complaints. The nurses have a great reputation. I'm thinking of finding a doula, just to give my husband & I some moral support to get our way.

How does a doula or a midwife work in a hospital setting? Do you have to find one that is affiliated somehow with the hospital? Do you have to have her cleared so she can come in, or when you go in to deliver to you just point to her and say "she's with me"?

I should mention that there is one birthing center I had been considering in the city, but the idea of having to drive an hour (each way) to each prenatal appointment was unappealing in the winter. I was reading some reviews, and they seemed to be very quick to hand off any sort of complication (understandable) - but the hospital they hand you off to is definately not a place I'd be comfortable delivering my baby. It's got kind of a bad reputation, and no woman who was handed off to the hospital had anything other than very negative reactions. If there's a chance I'd be handed off and sent to the bad hospital, I'd rather just stick with my good hospital from the get-go.

What would you consider a reasonable distance for driving to a birthing center? What's a reasonable distance from the home to the hospital if you were going to home birth? Am I possibly over-reacting with regard our distance from the hospital? My in-laws seemed shocked that the hospital was a half-hour away, and I had to explain that there ISN'T one closer (not one that delivers babies, anyway).
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#28 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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Sounds like a well-reasoned choice to me. It's sad that there aren't more choices in your area, but I'm sure you'll do the best you can with the resources at hand! Hiring a Doula to be the "Bad Guy" with pushy nurses or drs. might not be a bad idea.
GL :

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#29 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 01:07 PM
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kai28, it's different in every state, but usually there are specific midwives and doctors with privileges at certain hospitals. if you've decided that's the hospital you want to go to,I'd call them or ask other people (or post in finding my tribe for your area) and find out what midwives deliver there and see if you can talk to any people who have used them. I really believe that if you're going to go with a hospital birth you want the best possible midwife working with you, someone who knows your desires and will advocate for you and not let the hospital bully you into certain things you may not want.
Given what you describe, I dont' think I would want to drive an hour to the birthing center (that you may not be able to deliver in) and for all your appointments, etc, either.
I actually don't think 30 minutes to the hospital is terrible for a home birth, but I can understand not being comfortable with it, and it sounds like you like the hospital option. I would suggest really researching and getting a good midwife or midwife practice, though, and probably a doula as well...
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#30 of 30 Old 09-09-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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The main thing is to birth in a place YOU feel comfortable. If that is at home, so be it, if it's at the hospital, then so be it.

I'm birthing at home for a second time and the hospital is 30 minutes away by car, I'm sure by ambulance it would be much shorter though.

75% Crunchy 25% Smooth
Raising 2 peanuts. #3 due in June bellyhair.gif

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