I'm very sorry to leave you - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 09-17-2008, 12:01 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.

Casey
Mama to DS 2/22/06 and DS 3/27/09 :
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#32 of 37 Old 09-17-2008, 12:07 PM
 
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I'm sorry for your loss - take gentle care of yourself.
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#33 of 37 Old 09-17-2008, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenMidwife View Post
Oh mama, so heartbroken for you So very, very unfair

Do I remember that you guys were going to tell you family over the weekend about the pregnancy?

So sorry
Thank you for all of your thoughts. I started crying just reading all your hugs and thoughts. But it is healing too, so thank you.

Yes, we did tell dd and our family on Friday; we gave her the t-shirt like we had planned and she was overjoyed and so very excited to be a big sister. Because we knew that everyone would know once we told her, we called all our friends and family we couldn't see in person too. We thought we were through the woods at 11 weeks. So we told her on Friday, and I started bleeding Sunday afternoon, cramping soon after that, and by Monday night I had finished miscarrying. That was a real kick in the heart. We kept thinking the what ifs...what if we had told her later...what if this had only happened a little earlier and we hadn't told her yet. But we'll go crazy with all of that.

Our dd has been so excited jumping up and down for hours shouting that she's going to be a big sister. She's been reading the baby, singing lullubies to the baby, making presents of blocks for the baby, talking about how she is going to teach the baby to talk, read, and write. It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life to tell her this baby has died. I posted in the pregnancy and infant loss forum for ideas of how to tell her, but if you have any ideas, that would be great.

This is our third loss in the past year, and it has been really hard. This loss has happened at almost the exact same time as the one last year in September. The other two losses were chemical pregnancies, but the first loss drug on for a long time were we weren't sure if it was lost or not. This time has been harder in many ways because I was 11 weeks instead of 4 or 5, but it has been easier in some ways that it happened so quickly and we have been able to have some closure.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, I really appreciate it. Everyone in my family and friends have been really supportive too, so that has been good to have that support.
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#34 of 37 Old 09-18-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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This is coming late, but I'm so sorry.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#35 of 37 Old 09-18-2008, 11:39 AM
 
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I'm relieved your family and friends are being supportive, and that you have them to help you and your family through this tough time. It's OK to lean on them.
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#36 of 37 Old 09-19-2008, 11:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had an ultrasound yesterday which confirmed what I already knew. We are telling dd midday today. Thank you for all of your support. It's been really great to be a part of this DDC.
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#37 of 37 Old 09-19-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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i am so sorry you are having to go through this....i wish there was more i could do.. grieve as long as you need to....it's horrible to lose a child at any stage...

sendiing you tons of healing love and prayers for the future...

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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