Is my only option the ER?--*updated*definitely miscarrying - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-20-2008, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been cramping all day long and just had a bad feeling about it. Then I went to the bathroom tonight and there was a fair amount of brownish blood in my panties. I'm freaking out. Should I just wait and see if the cramps continue to get worse? The bleeding had kinda tapered off for now but I have pink tinged mucous. I haven't had any bleeding or cramps prior to this and haven't had any nausea or sore boobs for about a week. I'm just trying to tell myself it could be nothing...but at 12 weeks? I am waiting on medicaid to go through and although I've already had an appt with a midwife (and she didn't find a hb @ 12 weeks) I don't feel like she'd really be able to tell me anything.


UPDATE: Called my midwife, she told me to wait and see what my body does. Since then the cramps have picked up in intensity and the pink mucus has turned into bright red blood. I'm going to try and get some sleep and take it easy tomorrow since I can't afford to miss any work or I will not be able to pay rent (DH was recently laid off). Hopefully I will be pregnant again soon and it won't take 14 months again. My head is a mess right now. I just can't believe this is happening. I don't want to have to tell everyone. Agh. I have to try and get sleep.

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Old 09-20-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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If you want to find out whether or not the heart is still beating, an ultrasound is really your best option. You could either go to the ER or wait until Monday & try to find a pregnancy crisis center (the anti-abortion type) that offers free ultrasounds.

But go a little further... if there is no heartbeat, would you want a D&C? If not, I'm not sure there's much point to the ultrasound.

Even if you go to the ER though, an ultrasound is really all they can do though, since there's nothing that can be done to prevent a miscarriage.

I'm sorry you're going through this
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:41 AM
 
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i'm sorry, mama.
from experience, i wouldn't recommend going to the er at this point.
if your baby is ok but you are threatening miscarriage, a pelvic exam in the er could be more harmful than helpful.
if your pregnancy is ending then hopefully your body can eject it without any help. If it doesn't, then go in for help. but i wouldn't go at this point.
i hope you feel much better soon; i'm sorry you are going through this.

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Old 09-20-2008, 04:19 AM
 
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. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry, what a terrible circumstance to be in.

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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Old 09-20-2008, 09:38 AM
 
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i'm so sorry...
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:06 AM
 
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I'm very sorry for your loss. My friends midwife advised me to drink Emergen-C (or take lots of vitamin C) to help things along last time and it really did work for me.

Lots of rest and hot baths. I'm so sorry.

Book lovin librarian nerd mama to Caleb 6/06 and Aiden 4/09: and 1 angel 11/07. "No one cries alone in my presence."
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:46 AM
 
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oh i'm so sorry..

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:35 AM
 
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I'm sorry for your loss.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:40 AM
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I'm so sorry. Wishing you peace and healing.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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Rochelle. I am so sorry. I hope you find healing soon and your journey back here is swift.

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Old 09-20-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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It's so unfair
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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Ohhhh no.


Autumn (1990) Blake (1993) Zoe (2001) Dmitrios (2002) and William (April 2009) born still @ 39 wks - my 4ever
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Old 09-20-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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Oh, Rochelle. I am so sorry. I can't imagine the heartache you must be feeling. Please do all that you can to take it easy and rest and grieve. My best friend's fertility specialist said that often it becomes easier to conceive after a first pregnancy.
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Old 09-20-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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I'm so sorry

Mama to three wonderful boys and a fabulous baby girl.
My heartfelt thanks to all those that have donated milk to others; you are amazing
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Old 09-20-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry
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Old 09-20-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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im very sorry

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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Old 09-20-2008, 05:45 PM
 
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I'm so sorry
Take care of yourself
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:09 PM
 
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I'm so sorry, Rochelle.
I hope you feel better soon and I hope you have an easy time ttc. Good luck, mama. We will miss you here.

Mama to 3 boys 

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Old 09-20-2008, 06:55 PM
 
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Rochelle, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I agree with JenMidwife, this is so unfair .
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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I'm so sorry!

Mom of 3 (Evan, Trey, Saffron ) Blogs at findingsummer.com
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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Old 09-21-2008, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I ended up going into the ER around 7am after not being able to sleep. The pain had just gotten so bad and I passed out in the shower and started vomitting everywhere so DH wouldn't take no for an answer. I cried the whole time I was there b/c it was the last place I wanted to be. I had to endure a pelvic and a transvaginal ultrasound as well as deal with a catheter (which has made me so much more sore). I had to get a Rhogam shot as well. All the faith I had in my body, in my ability to deal with pain, is shot. I am not even sure I want to ttc again. I feel like it's going to take me ages to get over this.

My hcg was only at 1000, no where near where it should be in a 12 week pregnancy and the u/s didn't show a fetus anywhere so I guess I never had a baby in there to begin with. I did pass a large clot that I beleive was the placenta so the dr. said it was probably just a blighted ovum and a missed m/c.

Thank you all so much for your support and kind words.

Rochelle  chartnew.gifff: /home/simplyrochelle  Wife to Matt; angel1.gif 9/08; angel1.gif 11/12;angel1.gif 6/13;

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Old 09-21-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. Give yourself time to mourn and to heal. In regards to your ability to deal with pain: you were/are going through something emotionally painful and stressful which makes dealing with pain so much harder.
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Old 09-21-2008, 12:39 AM
 
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i had the same experience mama.. mine was at 10 wks, transvaginal showed no bb, just a sac. the er experiencewas awful.. but my dh made me go too, and i probably wouldve on my own anyway. it just was awful.

but do not give up. we got pregnant 2 mths later and had ds on july 25 this yr

you can do it hon.

be gentle w/ yourself
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Old 09-21-2008, 01:09 AM
 
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Rochelle - I am so sorry. As tough as this time is going to be for you please trust me that it will get easier. I had a missed miscarriage in March and the only reason I knew it was a miscarriage is because there was no heartbeat at my 8 week prenatal appointment (I requested an u/s). By 11 weeks I still wasn't bleeding really. Our bodies have a strange way of holding on to a pregnancy sometimes. I took that as a really good sign though because what happened to us is really just a fluke. People don't realize how often these things do happen. It made me realize how very special pregnancy really is and how intricate it is and if one thing isn't right than it will not be successful. I knew it had to be a good thing that my body wouldn't let go though as this showed me I could most likely carry a healthy pregnancy. My miscarriage lasted a total of about 3 months before it completely finished. I had one normal period and got pregnant right away on my next try. This time I am now 11 weeks and have had 2 ultrasounds for reassurance and saw the baby and the heartbeat each time and have since recently heard it with the doppler. I know its not going to make it easier hearing this right now but I hope my story can give you a little inspiration. Drink some wine if that's something you enjoy and take this time to do things for YOU. Before you know it you will be pregnant again. You have to have faith that it will work out next time. Some women have early miscarriages and its because there body does not naturally hold onto pregnancy. Yours obviously can. Anyway, I'm rambling now. Take care of yourself. Keep us updated in your journey.



Michelle

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Old 09-21-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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I'm so sorry, Rochelle.

Please don't give up on your ability to deal with pain. I assume you're thinking about birth, but what you had to go through in the ER is not the same as the pain of birth. When you have your baby one day you'll be joyful instead of grieving and it will be so different.
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Old 09-21-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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I am very sorry for your loss!

Healing Mama to :
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Old 09-21-2008, 02:36 AM
 
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Rocehelle, I'm absolutely heartbroken for you. : Please give yourself time to just take care of your needs. I don't think this loss is any reflection of how easy or difficult a birth wll be for you. Just allow yourself to grieve, and hopefully you will once again find the courage to get back in this whole crazy process again. We're thinking of you.

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Old 09-21-2008, 04:11 AM
 
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I am so sorry for this, Rochelle. PPs are right. Take sometime for yourself and for DH and recover as much as possible. This is heartbreaking. I'm sorry the ER was so horrible. .

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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Old 09-21-2008, 10:24 AM
 
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Rochelle, I'm so, so sorry. Don't make any decisions at this point about the future - it's hard to be objective. Just give yourself time & be gentle with yourself. As much time as you & your DH need.

I've not gone through labor before, but I do know a lot of pain. There is a huge difference between sudden unexepected "artificial" pain in the ER (i.e., brought on by a sudden, unplanned medical procedure), which is accompanied by severe stress and the fear of the unknown as opposed to "natural" pain (i.e., letting your body do what it needs to). If you are prepared for something, and have spent a lot of time thinking about it, and WANT to do it, it makes a huge difference in your ability to handle the pain. At least from my previous experiences.

No one can say what is right for you - but there are drugs for labor, which you can always consider too. It's a personal choice, but it is there.

Be gentle with yourself.
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