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#31 of 43 Old 09-23-2008, 09:11 PM
 
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Yeah, I kind of feel like I missed the fine print somehow about the nausea and being tired a lot. I knew about those things, but somehow it didn't sink in until it started happening to me.

And I too have worried quite a bit about miscarriage. (Pretty much the first thing my brother said to me when I told him about the baby was to start assessing the risk of miscarriage. Of course, he's a doctor so he's pretty risk-oriented, and I'm sure it doesn't help that he and his wife lost their first pregnancy at 10 weeks--but still, I wasn't expecting that as a first response.) I feel bad about it, but I actually got to the point where I had to start avoiding threads about people having scary spotting or whatever. It just makes me too crazy. I'll be 12 weeks on Sunday, so I'm starting to relax a bit.

Living the good life and walking a path of peace with DH and DD (4/09)
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#32 of 43 Old 09-23-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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I'm also a first timer! It's fun to see other women from the northeast, too!

So far we haven't done a lot of planning because we're waiting till after the tests and till we're in the 2nd tri to tell anyone the news. Pretty much I have a file with a big list of ideas for things I'll need and things I want to do during the rest of the pregnancy and as a family and changes to the house, etc. When I started the list years ago I don't think I realized that the 1st trimester wouldn't be productive time because of being cautious and feeling so tired and icky.

But some of my ideas are already being called into question, which I guess is good because I'll look at them from all sides, but it's also frustrating to have to question decisions I thought were final! For instance, I had decided to give birth at an independent birthing center, but now I'm having doubts... things like, the assistant-type-person who took my blood for the tests today didn't wear gloves, which made me start wondering about how rigorous they'll be. I mean, I want a natural unmedicated birth, but I want them to be really diligent about keeping me safe and looking for problems, too! Also in researching the nearest hospital (where the midwives transport if any problems come up), I found it's not really a great hospital and has a very middling NICU. If there is a problem, that's when this stuff really matters, right?

Once I'm safely in the 2nd tri, I'm going to have a lot more exciting and happy ideas and plans, but for now, it's researching and taking notes and trying not to make decisions.

It will be really exciting to tell everyone in a few weeks, I'm really looking forward to it, because this child would be the first grandchild for both of our parents.

unschooling in nyc

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#33 of 43 Old 09-24-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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Honestly, I don't plan much because I keep expecting to miscarry.
This is me. I don't even want to tell anyone. I'm just too skeptical.

I am a quick decision maker, too, so I expect I can plan everything in like a month or less. The only thing I'm working on (slowly) is painting a bedroom, because it needed it anyway. We haven't touched it since we moved in (4 years ago) and it's currently a guest room.

Wacky Zack! Born 23-Apr-2009
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#34 of 43 Old 09-24-2008, 07:05 PM
 
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How many first timers are there in here? I'm curious.

Am I the only one worrying about this stuff?
I'm a first timer too. Fortunately DH and I have been talking about child rearing for our entire 9 year relationship. It was just within the last year that I decided I LOVED the idea of cloth over disposables and started researching it before I was pregnant, or we had even decided to try. Everything else I'm learning and deciding as I go.

My biggest problem is finding the stuff I want. I don't have a credit card or anything so shopping online is totally out, I have to rely on stores and boutiques, luckily I found one that is totally devoted to natural parenting and helping to educate.
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#35 of 43 Old 09-24-2008, 10:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It was just within the last year that I decided I LOVED the idea of cloth over disposables and started researching it before I was pregnant, or we had even decided to try.
So what KIND of cloth diaper are you going with? The cloth vs. disposable thing was a no brainer to me, but then I hit a wall with all the different KINDS of cloth diapers. Fitted, pre-folded, flat, pins, velcro, diaper service (with its own set of concerns), diaper covers, etc, etc, etc.... and then I found out about elimination communication from a friend, so now I'm trying to figure out how realistic THAT is and whether that will affect how many diapers I need to get set up with (unless I use a service). And then there is material. Flannel, cotton, wool covers, waterproof covers, bamboo (my favorite idea so far).

I've found even though I KNEW what I wanted to do, it's just not quite as easy as to physically make that decision (follow through on it/buy the stuff) as I thought it would be.

I had all the ideals of what I wanted to do - and I just learned this week that it all had a generalized name: AP. Go figure. But at least I know how I arrived at that decision, and it certainly wasn't because anyone talked me into it or anything, or because it's "progressive" (or insert whatever label) :-)

As far as getting what you need, Windy - are you registering anywhere? People may be willing to buy the baby gifts. So even though you don't use credit cards, someone else may be able to get some internet stuff as a gift. I think I'm going to register at Amazon.com because the shipping is easy and our families use it often (I've been burned by babysrus shipping too many times). I think Amazon also has more variety/access to less mainstream stuff. But we'll see.
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#36 of 43 Old 09-24-2008, 11:16 PM
 
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So what KIND of cloth diaper are you going with?

As far as getting what you need, Windy - are you registering anywhere?
We're thinking of going with BumGenius, I've heard great things about them and they seem really easy to handle. Plus I can buy them in person. The selection of materials and fasteners is overwhelming, I like that the BGs will be easy for the grandparents (or anyone for that matter) to handle. Odds are we'll be getting many different kinds to 'try out' since everyone has their own preferences.

We are registered at Target (carry BumGenius too ), and Babies R Us (DH's idea, and in my experience, when a guy offers to go to a baby store you don't say no.) I've seen a few things on Amazon I liked, but it wasn't anything I can't get at one of the other 2 places, I may check it out again tho.
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#37 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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We are registered at Target (carry BumGenius too ), and Babies R Us (DH's idea, and in my experience, when a guy offers to go to a baby store you don't say no.)
VERY True! My DH will likely NOT be doing any registry stuff. When we registered for the wedding he refused to help because he "didn't need anything." Actually, he did register for a movie. That's it. I tried to convince him that there were a few things we could use and people were going to buy us presents no matter what and we might as well help them figure out what to get us...but he just had no attention span for it .

We're (I'm ) going with contours and I'm going to make them homemade out of sheets and t-shirts and terry cloth I have laying around. I have some wool sweatshirts saved that I want to make soakers out of and I might ask my mom to crochet some less bulky ones. Also would love a few Niji wraps, but they're expensive.

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#38 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 12:28 PM
 
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VERY True! My DH will likely NOT be doing any registry stuff.
I'm in the opposite boat. My DH is SOOOO fucking picky I have to run pretty much everything by him... We do have a pretty particular aesthetic and not that baby is going to care if its furniture would be approved by Charles Eames but it's tough going out there in baby biz land if you're not a bazillionaire and like modern looking furniture and are not into "cutsie".
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#39 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 12:46 PM
 
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I'm in the opposite boat. My DH is SOOOO fucking picky I have to run pretty much everything by him... We do have a pretty particular aesthetic and not that baby is going to care if its furniture would be approved by Charles Eames but it's tough going out there in baby biz land if you're not a bazillionaire and like modern looking furniture and are not into "cutsie".
You're right, the baby doesn't care what it's furniture looks like . Seriously, tho, I have a certain way I like things to look, too. Of course, I'm doing it all hand-me-down, so it will have to be in the little touches.

We got a great dresser with really clean, simple lines at the thrift store for $60. It needs to be sanded down and repainted, but I really like it. And it's huge! 10 drawers and low enough to use for a changing table...the kid can use it the rest of their life. Of course, we have a more "old fashioned" look in our house because it was built in 1857.

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#40 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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I'd totally be into hand-me-downs but the only problem is that pretty much everyone we know is having babies now or just had them so while I'm sure we'll get plenty of clothes and newborn ephemera we're kind of on our own as far as furniture goes. We did FINALLY settle on a babies-r-us crib/dresser that is not outrageously priced...they have a very small modern line by Amy Coe so we're excited about that...or I'm excited that DH finally realized the insanity of spending 8-12 hundred dollars on a crib.

We're still going very slow on this stuff and it still seems hypothetical somehow...maybe by christmas when I'm sure I'll be as big as a house it will seem like it's time for the reality of baby.
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#41 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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You're not the only one worrying about this stuff. I'm not even pregnant yet, but am often doing my research.
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#42 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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I'd totally be into hand-me-downs but the only problem is that pretty much everyone we know is having babies now or just had them so while I'm sure we'll get plenty of clothes and newborn ephemera we're kind of on our own as far as furniture goes. We did FINALLY settle on a babies-r-us crib/dresser that is not outrageously priced...they have a very small modern line by Amy Coe so we're excited about that...or I'm excited that DH finally realized the insanity of spending 8-12 hundred dollars on a crib.

We're still going very slow on this stuff and it still seems hypothetical somehow...maybe by christmas when I'm sure I'll be as big as a house it will seem like it's time for the reality of baby.
Good for you finding something affordable. 8-12 hundred dollars can be spent in way better ways with a newborn!

Mama to one little blur, watching everything move too fast. Eden 4/10/2009.
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#43 of 43 Old 09-25-2008, 03:41 PM
 
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it's tough going out there in baby biz land if you're not a bazillionaire and like modern looking furniture and are not into "cutsie".
Same here. DH and I are so broke, but we like what we like. The only reason we want everything new and to our specs is because we plan on using it for our next kid, and possible the ones we want to adopt down the line. We'll be staring at it for a looong time so may as well be something we love.
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