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Dh is gone, this hurts

2K views 39 replies 32 participants last post by  Sadie Lake 
#1 ·
I know I haven't posted much about this here, but I need to talk about it. Long story short dh and I were having trouble, I'd asked him to stay until the baby was born, then he was being really nice, but deep down I think I knew something wasn't right. It was tearing me up, I kept getting sick. I finally asked if he was still planning on leaving after the baby came and he said yes. Then I found out he's already got a girl he's interested in at work

I packed his clothes up and he's gone now.

I know this is probably for the best, ultimately I'll be better off, but it's still hard. I don't want to eat, I can't sleep, and my stomach is in knots.

I know I need to eat, I don't want the baby to suffer, but it's just hard. There was a couple days that all I had was a bowl of rice. I've called on friends and they've helped, but they've got their own lives and their own problems.

ETA cross posted in single parenting
 
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#3 ·
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now.




Have you checked out the single parenting forum? I seem to remember that there are some other mamas going through this right now. Maybe even one in the April DDC. It helps to have someone to empathise with.
I hope that you can find some support and talk through your feelings and start thinking about yourself and the baby again.
 
#6 ·
Oh sweetie, wow. That is a lot to go through, especially when you're already going into your third tri. You must be absolutely exhausted and emotionally spent.
The most important thing is that you take care of yourself and your baby. You two are the most important thing in the entire world right now. If I can help in any way, please let me know.

HUGS.
Andrea
 
#12 ·
I'm so sorry.
I wish you weren't going through this right now. Or ever! breakups/heartbreaks are bad enough when you're not pregnant, I can't even start to imagine how it feels right now.

Let yourself cry, try and rest, and make sure you eat.

If you need anything, let me know.
 
#17 ·
Do you have family that you are close to?

I was in a similar situation with Baby #1...my fiance and I broke up in my 2nd month of pregnancy. I received lots of support from my family, much more than from my friends. I ended up moving with my mother for a while to get back on my feet, mostly b/c of the stress of it all.

If you have extra $, going to some yoga classes would be very beneficial. As hard as it is, you need to be as calm and peaceful as possible in your pregnancy. Yoga can help you breathe and focus on the outcome you would like.

Best of luck to you.
 
#18 ·
I agree with all the posts above.

I just wanted to add a different point of view... growing up with a single mom rocked! It was just the three of us, my brother included, and life was full of people and fun. My mom never had to ask anyone if they thought having icecream for dinner was OK. All my friends that became single mom's went on to have meaningful relationships and became stronger more powerful mama's.

It hurts a lot now, let it hurt, it must really suck but I promise when that baby arrives you will be so in love with the little one your ex will become the yuckiest man alive.

I hope this helps in some way... Take care of yourself.
 
#22 ·
Quate was too nice. I just can't imagine what kind of thinking, feeling, [deleted word] excuse for a human being could betray his mate and child - at such a vulnerable time!


Please know that we are all with you. Talk about it as much or as little as you wish. Take care of yourself and your darling baby. I'm so proud of you for packing him out of your lives.
 
#26 ·
Hey sweetheart - I had my first baby alone after being left as well
it is one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but let me offer some encouragement, okay? And believe me, I know this is cold comfort, but maybe you can hold onto what I'm about to say and focus on it instead of the 'negitive vibes' going on right now:

As hard as it is (and I WOULD know) he isn't the guy for you. What kind of dude gets interested in someone else when the woman he's with is pregnant with his child? Not trying to diss on him, but let you know that you deserve better!

Second: He's obviously not your soulmate. When you meet your soulmate, you know! And so will he
THAT'S something to look forward to!

My son was 6.5 before I my fiance, and he was SO worth the wait. So be encouraged, okay? And send me a personal message if you want to vent more or anything - I'd love to chat with you - I know how lonely you might be right now. Hugs!
 
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