I believe it's lack of sleep....
even though Maggie is sleeping great, I still find it hard to wind down at night. I have always had anxiety at night- almost a fear to turn off the TV because I know I won't be able to shut off my brain.
I hurt today and I don't know if it's because of DTD for the first time this week or because I started back with my part time job yesterday which consists of me taking a little old lady to her medical appointments each week (for $20 and hour...not too shabby eh?). I walked alot yesterday and today I have just felt every tiny nerve ending in the neither regions. It's like tiny little sparks constantly. Tylenol hasn't touched it...and I am seriously a freaking step away from taking a 5mg loritab I have left over from last year LOL but i am terrified that it will affect little Mag.
Anywhoo I just feel like crying....
Kylie had a tough day just doing little things that she knew would get my attention. She took all of our mail I brought in and just threw it all over the floor and gave me the "what are you going to do now" grin. She NEVER does things like that and I know it's just because she is trying to act out her frustrations. Thank goodness she is still as sweet as can be to Maggie. She can be redirected great if I take the time to give her words....I will usually tell her that I know she is sad that mommy can't hold her like she used to and then I will go on to explain why and follow that with how proud I am of her. After i did that after the mail incident she went right to the living room and picked it all up and said, "I sorry mommy"...which I think is pretty good for a 2.5 year old. BUT on days like today I don't always have the instant reaction to talk her through things everytime....and most of today I spent not being very nice after her acting out behaviors
Mom and dad took her for a while tonight and will bathe her before bringing her home. DH is working all night which adds to the anxiety at night.
Anywhoo...I just needed to vent