How soon after baby can I actually DTD? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-09-2009, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
BabyMae09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 1,293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, quick and to the point: why the six week rule? My OB said it's to prevent infection of the uterus... but she also said sometimes the uterus never fully closes back up after a second baby, so that doesn't even really make sense. I've stopped bleeding and I really miss DP! Anyone know what the real rule is, or is it just whenever you feel ready after your bleeding stops?

I'm NOT asking for medical advice, just any opinions/additional info than I got from my OB.

Thanks!


Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

BabyMae09 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-09-2009, 04:53 PM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If things feel back to normal down there and you're feeling up to it you definitely don't have to wait 6 weeks. The only time I would recommend waiting is if you had stitches or tearing that needed to heal. After a first baby the cervix does tend to remain slightly open...not sure what she's talking about with a second baby and your uterus staying open....

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 07:05 PM
 
major_mama11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,133
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was told that it was fine even at 2 wks postpartum, even though I was still spotting a tiny bit, as long as I felt up to it. She told me that as long as there is no bright red bleeding, the cervix is most likely closed- or closed enough...

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, 1984
major_mama11 is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 07:33 PM
 
JD5351's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was told you are extra fertile during this time, so be careful, unless you want another one already.
JD5351 is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 08:03 PM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JD5351 View Post
I was told you are extra fertile during this time, so be careful, unless you want another one already.
Who told you this? If you're exclusively breastfeeding and not using artificial nipples your chances of pregnancy are about the same if you were to be using condoms while DTD. That's not to say it can't happen, but the chances are fairly small.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 08:07 PM
 
JD5351's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sweetie's sister was born barely 10 months after his oldest brother. The nurses mentioned it also, but what do they know.

Even if the chances are equal, I'd still be careful. But I'm not planning on doing this again for a long time. I think next time I'll adopt a 25 year old with a car and a job..lol
JD5351 is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 08:24 PM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JD5351 View Post
Sweetie's sister was born barely 10 months after his oldest brother. The nurses mentioned it also, but what do they know.

Even if the chances are equal, I'd still be careful. But I'm not planning on doing this again for a long time. I think next time I'll adopt a 25 year old with a car and a job..lol
Its totally possible, I'm just saying that the chances are very small if you're exclusively breastfeeding and not using artificial nipples. Night nursing is a factor as well. There are also ways to detect signs of fertility in order to avoid pregnancy even before AF arrives.

My guess is that the nurses told you this because moms are often told that they can't get pregnant while breastfeeding and then wind up pregnant again, which is only part of the story.

Here's some info about it: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 10:13 PM
 
lotus.blossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Maine!
Posts: 4,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We did it 3 weeks post c/s. It was akward uncomfortable and not enjoyable! We did it again a week later and now I have been putting him off about it. I just have no desire!

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
lotus.blossom is offline  
Old 06-09-2009, 10:21 PM
 
Madalyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lol my husband refuses to cheat on the 6 week rule and I'm dying over here. I'm surprised considering I have had zero sex drive at all for the past few months. I had a c section so I think I'm more tempted to say to hell with it than I would be if I'd had him vaginally. On the bright side at least I'm getting some good make out sessions? I feel like I'm back in highschool.

Madalyn military wife to Chris & proud momma to Jonas 5/17/09
Madalyn is offline  
Old 06-10-2009, 03:21 AM
 
kdtmom2be's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,677
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We DTD at 4 wks post C/S. Not enjoyable for me for the most part. And the bleeding started up again about 24 hrs later, but after discussing possibilities with my midwife, we figure it's my first PP menstrual period: (got it at 6wks PP with DD). And I AM exclusively breastfeeding, and was last time too, no artificial nipples, etc. Heck, DD wouldn't take a bottle until she was over a year old. Actually, DS has had a bottle of pumped milk 3 or 4 times now, and has a soother in the car, but not DD! maybe that's why it was 4 wks instead of 6?

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
kdtmom2be is offline  
Old 06-10-2009, 03:31 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,210
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
17 days after #1 and 19 days after #2 my rule was when I stopped bleeding and that is when it happened or slowed enough that it wasnt messy.

If I had not have been bleeding it would have been sooner actually and I did have an episiotomy with dd a very large one and stitches. With ds I didnt have that but both times it felt the same after. It wasnt that painful really but dh was very careful.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
Old 06-10-2009, 12:21 PM
 
JamieCatheryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: SW Pa
Posts: 5,071
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
My midwife told us 2 weeks but we only made it 9 days with our first 11 days with this one. I heal quickly.
JamieCatheryn is online now  
Old 06-11-2009, 06:27 PM
 
triplembride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 708
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madalyn View Post
On the bright side at least I'm getting some good make out sessions? I feel like I'm back in highschool.
us too, but i'm still spotting and i can still feel stitches in one spot so until those are gone i think we'll wait

Megan-loving wife to my high school sweet heart 9.24.2005 and AP mama to my big boy biggrinbounce.gif 12.14.2006, homebirth.jpglittle sister 5.27.2009 andhomebirth.jpg baby sister 8.31.11

 

triplembride is offline  
Old 06-11-2009, 10:35 PM
 
Max'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was always under the understanding that as soon as you feel up to it, as long as any sutures/tears are healed you are fine to DTD.

Mama crochetsmilie.gifto Max blahblah.gif9, Neva hearts.gif 7, & Esme fairy.gif4 and Julius guitar.gif 2.

 
 
 

Max'sMama is offline  
Old 06-12-2009, 01:30 PM
 
Sadie Lake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: WA
Posts: 581
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My m/w with my first told me that it was fine if my lochia had stopped and if I felt up to it, regardless of how much time had passed, then it was fine.

But, she did say that you can be fertile that first month, regardless of how much you're nursing. She said that, especially with your first, until you know how your menstrual cycle is going to be affected by nursing, not to chance dtd unprotected. (my mom and aunt are 10.5 months apart, and my best friend's brothers are 10 mo apart (her dad was in the military and was allowed to come home for the birth of their first child and had to leave about two weeks or so later and her other brother was born 9.5 mo after that!... and she was exclusively nursing)

One of my best friends dtd 2.5 weeks pp and had had a tear all the way to her anus. Apparently she had healed enough that she was able to enjoy it. She's a little crazy anyway!

We're 3 weeks pp now and haven't gone there yet, but I think its coming soon. I wasn't in the mood at all toward the end of my pregnancy (who am I kidding, I wasn't interested during pretty much the whole pregnancy!) so my poor dh has been patient so long, I feel like I just need to buck up and put out! But, I didn't have any tears or other things that would have needed extra healing time either.

Sadie
Sadie Lake is offline  
Old 06-12-2009, 01:44 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My midwives say the 6 week rule is arbitrary and to listen to your body whether that is 2 weeks, 6 months, whatever. I'm a 2 week person.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
Old 06-13-2009, 02:36 AM
 
jenneology's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,133
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm planning to wait until the bleeding stops (which with Chunka was the whole six weeks). I'm feeling up for sex (at 2 weeks pp) so I'm really hoping that the bleeding stops soon.

In our early marriage, I learned that I get frequent UTIs and bladder infections when I DTD while bleeding, so i'd like to avoid that.

M.Ed. Mama to Chunka (1/07), Beauty (5/09) and Elizabear 3/12): Birth Doula (working toward certification) AAMI Midwifery Student, Advocating with Solace for Mothers & The Birth Survey

jenneology is offline  
Old 06-13-2009, 05:11 AM
 
starshine1001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Foggy, smoggy Fresno
Posts: 1,892
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Crashing from February...with my first I waited over 6 weeks because I had a 3rd degree tear, and even after that it was really painful. After my second, I had a couple of little tears, and stopped bleeding within two weeks. We DTD for the first time at 2.5 weeks postpartum. We actually didn't "mean" to, and I think that's the way to go...we didn't "plan" it or have a "deadline". My midwife did recommend that we wait until the bleeding had stopped, but that was the only advice as far as waiting. Oh, and don't underestimate the power of Kegels! My midwife told me to do a set of ten every time I nursed my son, and that way I'd be doing over a hundred Kegels in a day...it really helped!

Jess ~ RN & student CNM, Blogger (see profile), wifey to T-Rav & momma to sons Buggy ~7/04 & Newt ~1/08 & Tad 6/19/09 & Con-man 1/11!  <3
starshine1001 is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off