Sudden she has started lying about everything and is very serious about these lies. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. She will say her cousins are hitting her when I know they aren't and will go crying to her grandma and her grandma will yell at the cousins. But when my four year old hit the cousins and they tell the grandma still tells at the cousin for making my step daughter mad. It's ridiculous. Recently she sheen lying about me saying that I'm taking things from her or that I poked her in the eye and her grandma has started yelling at me as well. Is it normal for a four year old to lie this much, constantly? I don't remember ever lying like that and my mother said I hardly ever told lies. Idk what I'm suppose
To do. No one cares how she acts here except me. It's like none of this family cares if she grows up disrespectful and bad. As long as she is happy. She already starting to get on trouble at school, etc. PLEASE HELP!
Perhaps encouraging your DSD to feel safe enough to tell you (or others) what is really happening. What kind of "discipline" does she receive from her mother?
Perhaps a talk with Grandma is in order to express your concern that Grandma may not have all the information.
Ok, I think she needs discipline. But there is an additional trouble at your place, your in-laws. Can you move out? If not, the only way to really deal with this is for your partner to create a boundary with them, where they can't overrule you all. You are the parents. You are in charge, not grandma, not in-laws. The child, like all children, needs limits, boundaries, and consequences. And consistency. I would try to copy what her mom is doing at your place.
It needs to also come from her dad, not just you. As a step-mom, I know that stepkiddos are touchy about their step-parents when they're the only ones with actual rules and expectations. Especially when other people (in-laws) are spoiling them. This situation is similar to what I married into, actually. And I resolved it with discipline, and having my husband lay down the law with his family. Now they still moan about it. They think a 4 year old who eats a stick of butter at the table should not be given a time out. Because a 4 year old is "just exploring." Yeah. He is exploring...exploring my patience.
So that's the first part. The 2nd part is, yeah, 4 year olds do lie. It IS natural. And it's natural because they are just realizing that adults can't actually read their minds. I learned that from a child psychologist, actually. She told me it happens in ages 4-5. My daughter was lying at the time, about absurd things, and I couldn't figure it out. They are "exploring" the limits of your control over them. I think it's best to handle it with discipline, but try not to be driven mad by it, because it is a phase. (hopefully)
I'm glad to hear that the lying is just a phase.
I've never had a child before, so all of this is new to me. I've been taking care of her since I was 17. It's a lot to take on when getting involvesld with someone who has a child and someone who expects you to basically tend to the child's every need while he sits on the couch.
Anyways, sorry ladies. I believe I am making this sound too much like some sort if diary entry. Lol
Thanks for all the advice.