My first trimester I was not nauseous, rarely even. Instead I was bloated, painfully so. I lost 8lbs, gaining only 5 back thus far. In the beginning of my second trimester I suffered severe dizziness brought in by orthostatic blood pressures (my BP would drop with position changes).
Finally things started to normalize. I felt the baby kicking, I started to develop a bump, and recently I became proud and started to kind of enjoy this. Prior to that, despite my feelings about my pending motherhood, I've suffered from body image issues as I am overweight to begin with and was disappointed to be frequently told I 'don't look pregnant' etc. but once I felt the baby kicking, that was overshadowed a bit.
Recently I failed my 1 hour test. I fasted nearly 12 hours and my bg was 165. They want me to go back for my 3 hour. But as I know my number was high, i think my odds of passing are low. I believe it's a matter of days before I'm diagnosed with GD.
I feel horrible. I've cried some. I try to imagine not drinking milk and orange juice and I feel miserable. Sounds dumb I know. Counting carbs and obsessing over my intake is a nightmare for me. I've done it before for diets and it just made me hate my body even more. I was enjoying guilt free eating, as prior to pregnancy I find almost all eating, healthy or not, guilt ridden. I was feeling proud of my bump and instantly I'm ashamed. I'm a nurse but that doesn't mean my feelings are rational. A coworker says to me today 'you know, being overweight is a big risk factor' (I did know this) and she went on to say 'you'll see, it's a good thing. They'll teach you about healthy eating and portion control' when I tried to tell her I have a pretty good understanding of those fundamentals she called me defensive and told me to 'do it for your baby' so after that I felt worse. I'd do anything for my baby, and I feel guilty enough. So I'm miserable and in need if support. No one in my family ever had GD. My maternal grandfather had diabetes and father is a pre-diabetic. I work with many patients with type 2 diabetes (most if which are severely ill, blindness, cardiac disease, missing limbs, sugar dementia and brain damage) and this only makes my fear worse. I'm not a nurse in this situation and I feel like I know just enough to scare the pants off me.
Welcome to Mothering mom2be1 and congratulations your pregnancy!
It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment with your concerns about GD and I think it's a reflection of your strength and care for yourself and your baby that you posted and are looking to connect with others. There are so many messages (internally, from others we know, cultural, and from the media) about how we should just be happy about everything pregnancy, take it all in stride, and be able to handle everything with ease. I don't know about you, but I just don't think that's humanly possible for any of us. We all struggle at times. Our struggles may differ, but we all face various challenges. Even those of us who are also happy and grateful and caring and so much more. So in the days ahead, as you await your test and respond to your results, I wish you comfort in whatever your journey brings you.
As you look ahead to the next several weeks of pregnancy and to welcoming your little one, you might like to join a Due Date Club to meet other moms who are due in the same month you are; there's more information on MDC's Due Date Clubs here. And the I'm Pregnant forum is a great source of information about all sorts of pregnancy-focused topics including GD. The other forums are great too with lots of lively discussion about all sorts of topics related to Natural Family Living, so take a look around and join us in discussing pregnancy, parenting, and more.
Edited to add: I'm going to move your thread out of the "Testing" forum into the main "Pleased to Meet You" forum as I think you will get more response there.
a lot of the women I know who get gd are thin. I know it sucks but you don;t have a diagnosis yet and you may still pass the three hour. If not you will just get through it. I know it seems rough but you just do it.