I am a CBAC momma - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 08-31-2013, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just a quick intro.

My first child was born 7 years ago. I was thinking I woukd stroll into a hospital have this awesome natural med free labor, I would push her out and the birds would sing and the angels would decend from the heavens and blow their trumpets. Didnt happen.I had a pretty traumtic birth with her. I have a bicornuate uterus and she was OP and after 24 hours in labor and pushing for 2 hours and in constant excrutiating pain, starving and thirsty I begged to be sectioned. I had a crappy hospital, dissmissive and condescending staff, birth plan violations, pitocin right away, OB forgot to chart my uterine anomalie so no one at the hospital knew about it because it wasnt in my chart, etc. I kept begging for help because I felt she was in there wrong and and the pain wasn't something I knew to be contractions. I was written off as a dramatic first time mom. I was flat on my back, no one said I could change positiins or anything. I felt alone and unheard by everyone in that room. I thought I was going to die and the baby was hurt or in dnager so I demanded the cut me. I just wanted it over and us safe. Turns out she was OP, her body was flopped over my left hip. They had to pull her out of my pelvis. She ended up with meconium blockage and transfered to another hospital to be in a NICU. I got to see and hold her once and everything else was pictures family took until I was released. A bout of PPD and PTSD later and I finally got over it.

Fast foward seven years. Ready to have number 2. Vbac hospital vbac dr. Again I was going to rock this birth. Spinning babies, hired a doula, stayed in shape, did exercises to get my pelvis open, educated myself, I was ready to have a VBAC for the ages.

Forewater broke. Stayed home as long as I could stand it. I felt weird my contractions were so close together almost immediately. Casually went to the hospital. Was a warrior through my back to back contractions. Started progessing like a champ...aaaand then my hind waters broke and everything went down hill. Decels, dcels and more decels until my babys heatrate was in the 40s and not recovering well. We tried all kinds of position, amnio infusion, I asked for pain relief thinking if I could relax a bit he could recover. Dr. gave me time until she had to call a STAT section and I was in the OR once again. There was no rupture but it looked like I was looking down the barrel of a cord accident waitingto happen. From talking with the staff it seemed like his cord was bunched up near his head and I was contracting the cord into his head. But who knows. Was told when they made they inscision bunch of cord popped out of it immediately and it was odd to everyone. They had to dig under it to get to his head which was also ansycnlitic.

Two births, two different reason for a csection. I was okay with the actual hospital experience and the surgery with my second, just pissed again the universe delt me a crappy hand. The one thing that would had taken my vbac chances away just HAD to happen. Decels. But I held him while they wheeled me out of the OR. I nursed and did skin to skin immediately and he never left my side for anything. No test, no bath, etc, the entire time. He is absolutely perfect and here safe and sound.


That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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#2 of 4 Old 08-31-2013, 06:09 PM
 
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Welcome Kiachu! Your birth stories sound very difficult. :Hug

 

I wanted to make sure you were aware of the forum here   Healing Birth Trauma. I am not sure if you are still experiencing these births as traumatic but it might help you to talk with mamas with similar experiences. 

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#3 of 4 Old 09-01-2013, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you. I will look into it.
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#4 of 4 Old 09-03-2013, 11:00 AM
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Hello and Welcome to Mothering!!

 

I'm glad lauren has linked you to the Healing Birth Trauma forum.  There are good resources there!  Let me know if I can point you to anything else, or if you just have questions. :)


winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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