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#1 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 03:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello, I am 45 years old and the mother of a 3 year old little girl.  Having come from a small family, I have never been around small children.  My daughter has me stumped.  I don't know what to do or how to handle situations.  When I ask my friends, they say that they don't remember how they handled situations because that was so many years ago.  All they tell me is that I should spank her because that is what they did.  I don't know where to go but I do know that my daughter is more headstrong than a lot of the suggestions that I have read for gentle discipline.  Trust me I have tried them and they haven't worked.  She has a 13 year old sister and a 17 year old brother at her dad's house.  I see her adopting a lot of their mannerisms and sayings. For example, I will ask her to do something and she will roll her eyes and say "Fine!" to me.  I have two teenagers wrapped up in a 3 year old and I am at my wits end.  I hope that joining this forum will help.

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#2 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 05:46 PM
 
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Welcome twill!! I'm sure you will find lots of support here for your little one! And maybe your big ones too! :thumb

 

Here are a few forums that might interest you:

All things toddler http://www.mothering.com/community/f/17511/toddler

Gentle Discipline http://www.mothering.com/community/f/36/gentle-discipline

Teens http://www.mothering.com/community/f/39/preteens-and-teens

 

Have you read any of Janet Lansbury's blog? I really like her approach a lot. This link goes to her page of toddler discipline articles http://www.janetlansbury.com/category/parenting/behavior/discipline-behavior-parenting/


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#3 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you.  The teenagers live with her dad though.  I don't know what is going on there because he doesn't share.  They are not mine so he thinks that that relationship doesn't apply to me.  My daughter is around them every other weekend though and it would be nice if he was more open with me because it affects my daughter's behavior.

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#4 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 06:25 PM
 
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That can be tough, to deal w/ill behavior after spending time away... I think the best thing you can do is offer compassionate correction to the sass, "I don't like to hear the attitude in your voice, please answer me in a regular voice" or something along those lines. Talk to her about how there are different rules with different people and that you understand that it's hard to go back & forth & remember which rules go with which house...and here with mommy we speak nicely to each other and maybe model a conversation that you & she have had that didn't go as well as you would've liked and do this when she's in a good space not in the attitude zone. 
Hugs, Mama!!


Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#5 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 07:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! I like the modeling technique.  I just tried it and she may have received the message.  I will keep reiterating it and hope for the best.  Thanks again.

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#6 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 08:27 PM
 
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You're welcome! That's what we're here for :love


Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#7 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 08:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OMG! I just read Janet Lansbury's blog link that you sent.  I am crying.  I am on the right track.  Thank you so much! I really needed affirmation.  I still need some suggestions on how to deal with things correctly at the moment but it does give me a lot of comfort that I am doing something right.  I know this because my daughter will approach me out of the blue and tell me that she loves me.  I will continue to read this site.  Thank you again.

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#8 of 11 Old 04-13-2014, 11:46 PM
 
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So glad you found it helpful! Keep reading and keep asking questions, and most importantly keep lovin your munchkin :Hug
Also she's got some great vids on you tube so you can see stuff in action https://www.youtube.com/user/janetlansbury


Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#9 of 11 Old 04-14-2014, 02:49 AM
 
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Welcome to Mothering, twill. I'm Alex, a young mum with a toddler aged 4. Pleased to meet you. :)

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#10 of 11 Old 04-14-2014, 03:08 AM
 
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welcome to our mothering community. I hope you stay here and enjoy the many forums.

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#11 of 11 Old 04-14-2014, 05:11 PM
 
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Hi Twill :)

Toddlers can be really exhausting but so much fun too.I have some ideas for you which may help you.I have worked in a preschool for 7 years and as an Early Childhood Nurse for almost 30 years. I am a mother of two. Maybe you could write about one specific situation and we could work through it together and then another ...

Let's chat?

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