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-   -   Not Sure If It's OK For Me To Be Here (http://www.mothering.com/forum/5-new-member-introduce-yourself/1436393-not-sure-if-s-ok-me-here.html)

Brett240 07-27-2014 12:31 PM

Not Sure If It's OK For Me To Be Here
 
I've been searching the web for a while, looking for forums that deal with fathers raising children - and there don't seem to be any. I found one, but the last thread posted was dated 2008!
My husband and I are same sex parents of 2 children - our daughter is 4 and our son is 9 months. We used surrogates for both pregnancies, and it was a pretty incredible experience.
We decided beforehand that I'd stay at home with the kids, it made sense in career and financial terms.
Our daughter was - and still is - the easiest child on earth. Our son, however, has more than made up for that - the poor baby has bowel and digestive problems, so tends to be fussy.
I want to join a forum because I feel like it would help a lot to get advice and support from other parents.
So - IDK - here I am.

farmermomma 07-27-2014 12:56 PM

Welcome! Yes you are very welcome here. Look around. Have fun!

crazyms 07-27-2014 01:21 PM

Welcome! This forum is a great place for advice and support. Forums for dads are very few and far between. My husband tried looking for one and couldn't find anything good either. You're more than welcome here though! We have a forum for queer parenting that might interest you and don't forget to join us in parents as partners and stay at home parents. The childhood and toddler areas are great to ask questions about the kids. Look around though because we have tons of other boards. Glad you joined us!

KatelynRose 07-27-2014 01:53 PM

Hello!! Of course you are welcome here, it is wonderful that you are so invested in your children, and everyone here appreciates that! :) I'm relatively new here, we are pregnant with our first due in December. :love So I'm excited!

There are a BUNCH of helpful people on this site! It's very wonderful especially for someone like me who has quite a few questions hahah...

I am kind of nosy about what it is like to use a surrogate... Did you know her personally or not? How aware were you of her diet throughout pregnancy? Is he on formula? I'm sorry your baby boy is suffering from digestion problems :( I'm no expert but I do know that my own mother had a terrible experience with me because I was on formula (I vomited frequently and had terrible poos) but she breast fed my younger brother and he was fine. I know there are websites where people sell (or donate) their breastmilk to those who cannot make it themselves, and there are many women open to selling to men. (Onlythebreast.com is one I just found)

There are also a bunch of articles archived on this site that are very helpful ;)

Viola 07-27-2014 07:19 PM

Howdy, jump on in. There is a special needs forum if your daughter has particular medical needs you want to discuss, or a more general forum, Life with a Baby.

Welcome!

IdentityCrisisMama 07-27-2014 08:36 PM

Oh, yes, you are totally welcome here! Our site is called Mothering because it was started by the magazine published under that name, which was started back in the 70's I believe. I think one of our forums is called "mom" but that could better be labeled "parenting" because there is plenty there of interest to dads and we welcome participation from all parents.

Welcome!

Brett240 07-29-2014 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KatelynRose (Post 17862769)
Hello!! Of course you are welcome here, it is wonderful that you are so invested in your children, and everyone here appreciates that! :) I'm relatively new here, we are pregnant with our first due in December. :love So I'm excited!

There are a BUNCH of helpful people on this site! It's very wonderful especially for someone like me who has quite a few questions hahah...

I am kind of nosy about what it is like to use a surrogate... Did you know her personally or not? How aware were you of her diet throughout pregnancy? Is he on formula? I'm sorry your baby boy is suffering from digestion problems :( I'm no expert but I do know that my own mother had a terrible experience with me because I was on formula (I vomited frequently and had terrible poos) but she breast fed my younger brother and he was fine. I know there are websites where people sell (or donate) their breastmilk to those who cannot make it themselves, and there are many women open to selling to men. (Onlythebreast.com is one I just found)

There are also a bunch of articles archived on this site that are very helpful ;)

Thanks...and congratulations!! We were living in CA at the time, and used an private agency which matched us up with surrogates. It was great because the women were given comprehensive physical and psychological exams and were carefully monitored throughout their pregnancies. And we were allowed to be involved every step of the way and were there for every important milestone through the pregnancies. We were in the delivery room both times - we even did childbirth classes with our surrogates (more for us than for them I think lol).
Our son is undergoing some testing at Boston Children's Hospital - incredible place! - and it's looking like he may have some sort of bowel condition, we should know more soon.
So...you must be really excited! I remember how I felt waiting for our daughter, first child and OMG! I was nuts! My mother-in-law laughed at me for 9 months lol =

earn0703 07-30-2014 01:36 AM

Congrats!! and Welcome aboard :thumb:love:love:smile:

KatelynRose 07-30-2014 10:17 AM

@Brett240 it sounds like a wonderful surrogacy experience! It's really great you were allowed to be so involved!
I hope your son is doing alright :( poor little guy! He's so young it must be scary... My brother spent quite a bit of time I'm Children's Hospitals when he was young because of his severe asthma, I remember it was frightening but they ARE very nice and warm in children's hospitals. We got plenty of temporary tattoos ;) but we were much older by the time his asthma really developed...
How is his sister?

I am SOOOOO excited I could burst. I'm having dreams nearly every night about him, but they're usually about him growing up too fast! All of a sudden I'll be trying to carry around a 5 year old like he is a baby and it's not working and I'm like why is my baby so big?! Hahaha they're strange dreams. He has been kicking more and more lately, I am now 20 weeks along so I know he will be having a big growth spurt soon. I swear every morning I wake up my stomach is bigger. Gosh I can't wait to see him.
I've been looking into unassisted birthing recently, I think JB and I might just do it ourselves at home. Of course that's a big decision, but I feel like it's what Titus wants me to do. I have a lot of homework to do about it though to be prepared. :thumb

shannaradcliff 07-31-2014 06:44 AM

Welcome :)


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