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#1 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 03:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just joined! Over in MLT

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Hello,
I just joined tonight and wanted to say a quick hello! I live in Mountlake Terrace and moved to WA state over a year ago (I'm from south Texas) and my "old man" is from Boston. Really like north of Seattle but took some getting used to...lived downtown when I first came here before I got pregnant with my first. Didn't think I'd find any people with views like/similar to mine! It's been hard finding friends in this area. My oldest attends MLT co-op preschool across the street from our house...and my toddler and baby attend classes with me at Edmonds CC. Just wondering if there is anyone out there like me and mine! When I first moved here I longed to be back in Seattle for that reason but find the co-op and college classes to be great (which helped me adjust to life outside the city). Hope to talk to ya'll soon! Would love to meet up for playdates or whatever! Schedule has opened up since preschool ended last week.



That was my first and original post to this site. To my surprise only one, count them, one person responded telling me hello. A few of you read and then just kept moving on. I am not going to sugar coat this. This upset me. This site seemed so "friendly" but apparently you are very picky with whom you give your responses too. I figure maybe something in my post was wrong...I start thinking..could it be that I am from Texas? Hmmm...maybe ya'll think I'm a Bush lover who helped fund and start the war?? Get that a lot from people out here. Well no, I am not. I am Green Party and always have been. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not in anyone's city. Do you not like Mountlake Terrace? Didn't know it existed..picked the house off the internet thousands of miles away in New Hampshire. I'm still dishing out ideas here...Maybe since I'm not married to my man and joke around calling him my "old man" gets under your skin...get negative feedback from my own Texas family on that one. (and he is old..he'll be 30 next month!) That is another joke. Is it because I don't cd? Is it because I vacc. my kids? Maybe you don't like vegetarians? I don't get it. Yes I breastfeed, use slings, use strollers, co-sleep, use disp. diapers, and vacc., but didn't circ. Do we have to fit a certain criteria to fit in this mothering forum? Too many strikes against what ya'll believe in and your out type thing? Because this new member surely feels outcasted and downright left out. Just letting off steam.....

almost forgot..had all of my babies in a hospital.. gasp! in three different states.

I'm not trying to be rude here even though most of you may interpret that. I am just trying to figure out why I'm being ignored when I see others post that they have just joined and already have tons of feedback from ya'll. I really had high hopes living out here and knew this was a fantastic place to raise my children but i'm really starting to doubt the community out here and lose faith in the NW.
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#2 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 03:50 AM
 
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Just wanted to say hi. I am pretty new to these forums as well. I don't live any where near you though. I am in Spokane, WA. I have also had both of my children in a hosp and vaccinate also. Although we are ttc and will be planning a HBAC. I say give it time. I don't think anyone meant to be rude. Maybe no one living near you read the post. ??.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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#3 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 04:07 AM
 
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hi
come join us at this thread
invisable posters
it's long but the ladysa re very nice I just joined this thread and I feel very welcome there.
I vax and breastfeed, use a sling and a stroller. I use cloth diapers. I used dd for a long time. I feel I don't fit in around here alot too. Don't worry, it gets better
psno cir here either

bfinfant.gif mama to Alex 17read.gif, Briana 13af.gif, Cory 7notes.gif, and Jadebabyf.gif Nov. 2010  Tubes tied, and regret it shake.gif

 

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#4 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 04:21 AM
 
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Hey! Don't let lurkers/readers get you down! Lots of people are busy so they don't have time to post a reply when searching for an answer to a question they have asked. This is a great place to be if you make it work for you. I live in Mukilteo so I'm pretty close to you--a bunch of us hang out at least once a week around Everett/Lynnwood. In fact, we might be doing something this Thursday if you want to join. Check out this thread for details:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=256195

Catch you later,
Liane
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#5 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 04:29 AM
 
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to Mothering!
I'm sorry you didn't get such a rousing welcome in your other thread. I live in Pennsylvania, so I never look into the Washington/Oregon/Idaho forum ( I never look in the Introduce Yourself forum either, not quite sure why ), but I saw this thread from the main page.

You are welcome here!

(BTW, my DS was born in a hospital--induced with an epidural no less! , and we don't cloth diaper much either. But it's not for lack of trying, I can tell you that. It's really hard to cloth diaper when you don't have a washer and dryer and you have a DP who isn't very enthusiastic about it.) But anyway, that doesn't really matter. I just wanted to welcome you. Please don't feel bad :

DS 8/4/04 "You're my best mommy in the deep blue sea!"
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#6 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 04:46 AM
 
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this is a message board. relax.
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#7 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:06 AM
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Hi! That was me who said hi the last time. I have pms insomnia and just logged on. Sorry you feel left out. Try saying hello in the "please to meet you" forum. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...isplay.php?f=5

I sometimes don't get a lot of replies to posts in our tribal area. It just gets quiet sometimes and probably people are more used to saying hi in the pleased to meet you thread.

Please don't take it personally and get upset. Come to the June 22nd get together. Or, give me a private message and we can get together with my other two mdc mama friends. One lurks and never posts and the other is constantly out of town and never logged on. :LOL But, they both live near you!

BTW: I had my baby in a hospital, too. I don't fit the perfect mdc mold but then again I don't think anyone does.

Keep posting!
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#8 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I]this is a message board. relax.[/I]

this is more than a "message board" to me elyice. it is an opprotunity to reach out to other mothers in my area (seattle metro...you'r in LA...) and make new friends. I am thousands of miles away from friends/family and really miss and long for a great friendship again. this thread was meant to...just to get my feelings across. telling someone "relax" is so intolerant of ones feelings...we don't know one another and I wouldn't attempt to say such a meaningless comment to you.

as for the other post...thanks for stepping up and replying! it really makes a difference. Feeling better about it already..thanks all of you
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#9 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elyice
this is a message board. relax.

not nice
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#10 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:13 AM
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PS I've been posting and lurking for a while now and just figured out what bump means. If you want your post to get more answers, reply and just write bump and it will bump back up to the top of the page! :
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#11 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:13 AM
 
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Leslie,
First off welcome. I never do that, say welcome, maybe because I feel like I am a visitor as well and it doesn't occur to me. Maybe because I am usually on here searching for some specific topic or answer I want right that second. I tend to only post when I either think I have pertinent information, or when I get passionate about something I have read (positive or negative). It is also a HUGE HUGE board/site and most people don't notice most posts, especially if they have a benign headline or they aren't the most recent in a sub-category and visible on the index page, which is how I saw THIS post to begin with (catchy title AND showed on the index page when I clicked).
I guess what I am simply hoping to let you know is that it is in NO NO NO NO NO way personal at all and it isn't some clique thing. It is simply a huge board with tons of mama's searching fratically for some bit of info they need to be a better parent or person or what-not. You ARE welcome, everyone is, and I hope you stick around.


Bleu
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#12 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 05:27 AM
 
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Well, it is a message board. LOL I mean, wow, that is jumping to a big ol set of huge conclusions there about people and what they think. I just happened to catch this thread in the new posts (and since I am from the PNW wanted to say hello). That is a very slow little spot on MDC.
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#13 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 12:52 PM
 
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Sorry you are feeling ignored. When I started at MDC I felt the same way. I got mad and didn't want to post anymore. But I realized alot of the time what I was posting was for me. It made me feel better to give my opinion and alot of the time writing a response helped me deal with the feelings I had about that subject.

I think I can speak for all of us when we say by no means are we judging you. We respect eachother and enjoy the diversity the boards bring. You fit right in.

We live pretty far apart but we can still live in our virtual community! Hope you stick around!

Cecily
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#14 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 12:53 PM
 
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I am sorry that you felt unwelcome. The tone of this post, however, seems uncalled for. I understand that you felt ignored, but then you go on to make a bunch of assumptions about everyone else who participates in the W/O/I discussions. I didn’t even see your original post. Truthfully, if I had I probably wouldn’t have responded to it because when I went back and read it it seemed to me that you were looking for people to meet up with in your area and I don’t live in your area. If you are here to make friends you will probably have an easier time just jumping right into the discussions that interest you.

I know I am probably opening a big can of worms here… but I am a native Washingtonian and have lived in a couple different parts of the country. The west coast, and Seattle in particular, is very different than other places I know. It is difficult to make friends here- I found this out when I moved back home after living in CA for four years. All my high school and college friends had moved on. At best you will get politeness from most people, but often times people just ignore you. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but it is what happens here. Not everyone is like this, of course, but in general there seems to be an attitude that may seem indifferent if you are from someplace that tends to be more warm and welcoming. In the Midwest I met someone waiting in line at the library and they invited me over to their house for a party later in the week. It was a genuine invitation. Here, I had to say hello and try to start a conversation about a million times with the mom who walked with her baby in a sling past my house everyday before I even could find out her name. So don’t get disheartened and just keep trying.
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#15 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 01:04 PM
 
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If you don't mind a ferry-ride, we could use a new friend over here on Whidbey Island! My house is even close enough to the ferry to walk to, so no lines or outrageous prices.

Kathy
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#16 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 01:13 PM
 
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: Greetings from a Georgia Gal! Please don't feel ignored.
ENJOY MDC
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#17 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 01:22 PM
 
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99% of the time I am here I am nursing and can't type well. I bet a lot of mamas here are doing the same. My baby is asleep on me right now and if I type too much he'll wake up--so I don't post as much as I read--don't take it personally! I live nowhere near you but saw this message from the front page. Welcome!
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#18 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 01:51 PM
 
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when i saw your post last night just after you posted, it made my hairs stand on end. the tone i took away from your post was that you were pissy about people ignoring you and so you wanted to call some attention to yourself. whether or not that was the case, that was the initial response i had and that is why i didn't post last night.

that said, i can somewhat understand your thoughts and feelings about feeling you're posting and no one is responding. it's happened to me, too, and i have to remind myself it is a HUGE message board and people come here for different reasons and may or may not have time to respond. also, a lot of people have such limited time on here that they use the subscribe to thread feature almost exclusively, so if you post a new thread in slow forum like wash/ore/idaho, it may not get seen by a lot of people unless you introduce it on a roll call or chat thread also.

also wanted to say hi. we live in oregon, so not near enough to be an in-person friend, but still a northwesterner.

hope you enjoy continuing to read/learn/lurk/post...

warmly,
claudia
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#19 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 01:57 PM
 
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Is this thread a joke?
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#20 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 02:04 PM
 
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Hmmm...well, I wouldn't read too much into it. I think you jumped to an awful lot of conclusions b/c you didn't get a lot of responses. Almost like you're calling MDC folks to task for being busy, overworked and tired Next time, just let it go or bump your post. Just jump into other areas of interest for you.
Good luck
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#21 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 02:18 PM
 
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I think a lot of the tribe forums are kinda slow. If you wanted a bigger response, maybe try the introducing yourself area. Personally I don't usually visit individual forums. I always choose new posts. That is how I saw this. Try looking into other areas before assuming you don't meet some criteria that I haven't noticed on here. I figure I am one of the biggest oddballs on the board. I vax, circ, and use disposable diapers (on all but one of my crew); however, we co sleep with whoever wants to be in our bed at any given time and I am applying some of the GD I have learned on this site. Good luck and :

BTW: My niece is named Keanu. I hadn't really seen any others named this aside from the obvious.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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#22 of 100 Old 06-15-2005, 03:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G&B'sMama
I know I am probably opening a big can of worms here… but I am a native Washingtonian and have lived in a couple different parts of the country. The west coast, and Seattle in particular, is very different than other places I know. It is difficult to make friends here- I found this out when I moved back home after living in CA for four years. All my high school and college friends had moved on. At best you will get politeness from most people, but often times people just ignore you. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but it is what happens here. Not everyone is like this, of course, but in general there seems to be an attitude that may seem indifferent if you are from someplace that tends to be more warm and welcoming.
I'm in PDX, and I have definitely found this to be true! I moved back here after living in NYC for most of my adult life. I find in general that people here tend to be more polite than NYers, but less friendly. In NY I had been pretty hooked in with other parents in my neighborhood...other parents in my apartment building went out of their way to welcome me, gave me their kid's outgrown clothes (and I did the same), we exchanged phone numbers. The same thing would happen at the tot lot. The kids would play together and the parents would chat, even if we had been complete strangers.

When I first got here, I took Sprogly to a playground. I found that other parents with toddlers would hustle their kids away when we approached a play structure. I'd try to start a conversation, and we'd get as far as our kids' ages, and then they'd gather up the kid and leave. I was surprised and hurt...it was so different.

As a generalization, I think there's something to it. But of course it is a generalization, so it's not true of everyone out here. It's just a different culture, I suppose, I've got to figure out how it works, and get used to it.

To the OP, I've often found that often I don't get the warm response I was hoping for here at MDC. I don't fit in perfectly here--I vaxed my son and don't regret it, had him in a hospital, induced, with an epidural (it wasn't at all what I wanted, but I was scared of a homebirth, and my birthing center closed a week before I had him). I'm a single mom, unemployed now, but basically full-time WOHM and sole breadwinner.

But then, I guess I fit in better here than on mainstream boards...and I do get a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of reinforcement for my parenting choices, which I don't get anywhere else, at least right now. So, I take what I like and leave the rest. I'd really like to find a real community, but who knows, maybe it's one of those things you're more likely to find when you're not looking for it.
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#23 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 10:09 AM
 
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Moved to Pleased to meet you.
Gossamer

Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you. That is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins~
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#24 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Zeldabee: I really understand what you're saying! When you're from another place and move elsewhere you just want that sense of community. And believe me..I do put myself out there. I joined a co-op preschool across the street and joined the board this year. I attend a toddler and infant class at the college with my little ones. All of the moms and dads are great but do keep a distance from you...and I've seen the same shuffling of kids/parents at the park too!

I agree that this part of the country is different...it was easier to talk to people in Boston (where Keanu was born, where his dad is from..accent and all) and they are suppose to be "rude" as NYkers are and fall into that catergory that people put them in. "People are polite but not friendly"... is the line I've been told many a times about the NW. And they are nice...and I do enjoy living out here..we could have picked any place and we chose to be here. thank you all for your thoughts! And Hello to you all!!
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#25 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mom2jasper: Hi! My sis and her hubby live in England! she loves it there. I never did get to visit She has been there a few years and works for red cross. she's actually on a trek in peru for them.

calicokatt: a co-op mom I know grew up on Whidbey. I love that island. how cool would that be? having a playdate and catching the ferry! kids would love that!
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#26 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:27 PM
 
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If you do a little searching in the tribe forum you'll find different groups meeting for playdates, etc. in your area. You need to jump right in and start talking!
You have to remember that we are parents first and have limited time on the computer-I can't possibly repsond to everyone and never saw your first post. I try to skim in the few minutes I have here and there.
There is ALOT going on among MDC mamas around your area between play groups, LLL, a new babywearing group, and preschool co-ops.
Just PM people you see posting about things for more info.
Welcome to the area!
Ann

(for what's its' worth I posted about 4 different posts when I first got here to WA to search people out-I now have a few really great friends that are so dear to me thanks to this board!! But I had to make the effort and PM them and seek them out at gatherings that were posted etc.)

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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#27 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:37 PM
 
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I'm sorry you had a tough time at the start... I probably wouldn't have responded to your original post since I am no where near any of the places you listed and I am not sure what a coop school is. (I would have sounded like an idiot on that one!)

If it makes you feel better, my family doesn't quite fit the mold at mothering, either. I mean, we do some natural family things but not all by any means. We cloth diaper, cosleep, breastfeed, and selective vax, but we have circed all of our sons (although I personally hated it each and every time), I formula fed my adopted son and supplemented with my other kiddos when I needed to. I am not vegetarian (but we do eat a lot of wild meat as opposed to domesticated animals which I think is healthier of the two), and I have even fed my babies out of a jar before. I also support the military.

I think mothering is more about spreading information so parents can make informed choices for thier kids. What you decide once you know the facts is up to you. I don't think you were shunned for that at all.
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#28 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:43 PM
 
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I'm sorry, but this post is ridiculous.... you sound incredibly paranoid!!! It seems you have a complex over what other people MIGHT be thinking of you. Please try to be realistic -- you jumped to a LOT of conclusions, very quickly... and chances are good that NONE of them are true!!

I'm sorry you felt ignored, but I am SURE it is just that the tribal areas are considerably slower than the rest of the forums. If you'd like to meet people.... please, by all means... join in the rest of the board, talk to people, etc. MDC is a huge place, there are lots of people to talk to.... it just takes some time!
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#29 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:50 PM
 
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I agree that the Finding your tribe forum isn't the best place to start when you're new (just because I only go to the tribes that fit me and my situation, like the outcast tribe!).

But I think you made a valid point about people viewing your post but not responding. I don't know why, but I don't really respond to this forum ever. Odd. I really wanted people to respond to me when I joined. You opened my eyes to my very hypocritical thinking. Thanks!

S.

Ooops, I almost forgot...Welcome to the boards!
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#30 of 100 Old 06-16-2005, 02:57 PM
 
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Hi Leslie

Maybe I have been around other forums for too long. I don't understand why you are so upset. I have learned that as a new member of a forum it is best to just sit back and read for a while. And maybe I'm wired but I almost never introduce myself :

What I don't understand is what does the town you live in have to do with this forum? You also brought up points that aren't even in your welcome post. Did I miss something?

Looks to me there is more to the story.

Cinnamon, also new here
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