I am new to this website, and fairly new to the ideas and concepts of AP. I am still trying to find my way through this craziness that is parenting....lol
I picked up a copy of Mothering magazine and after reading it, found myself really identifying with this concept of parenting. It sort of made me feel somewhat guilty as well though, because breastfeeding just didn't work out for us - mostly due to lack of support in hospital and at home (not many family members or friends have bf'd, and I live in a very small community with not alot of outside resources to help with bf-ing). But ever since discovering this magazine and the website as well, I feel alot stronger about other "non mainstream" ways of parenting. IE: cosleeping, NO cio-ing, etc etc
I don't get a ton of support from family and friends for some of the choices that Ray and I make about our parenting, so it's been nice to come and find a forum full of women and parents who I can talk to and get advice from, seeing as this is all so new to us.
Well, I look forward to getting to know you all!!
Congratulations on your new little one mama! MDC is chocked full of info with tons of wise and sagey mamas to boot. I'm sure you'll learn a lot!
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~ Emo Philips
Me, DH, DS1, DS2, November 2012 , July 2013 , March 2014
Waiting on my SunshineBaby
I'm glad you found us. My husband and I were very much the same way. We just 'did' a lot of things without questioning them: co-sleeping, wearing baby, breastfeeding on demand... I just followed my instincts, which isn't very popular (and less so nine years ago!). When I realized that there was a parenting movement that fit nearly all my beliefs, I was thrilled!
If you get a chance, check out some threads on re-lactation. If you're feeling badly about breastfeeding not working out, you still have an opportunity to partially or fully re-lactate! I've helped a couple of friends through the process with great results. One actually put her baby back to the breast at around 2 months of age, while the other pumped and fed her baby breastmilk as well as formula through bottles. Both felt a huge sense of fufillment! Just a suggestion, though. No pressure (being a new mom is hard enough without people putting pressure on you!)
I had a terrible time getting nursing going with my first (also named Evan! ), it took us 3 months to learn to breastfeed. Relactation/getting a little baby to the breast is hard work, but it is doable!
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I belong to this inclusive club called "Parenthood," and I wanted to welcome you. I swear I read your message a few days ago, and it contained more detail and you actually sounded a bit despondent over the lack of support for your breastfeeding. I wanted to respond right then and there, but had computer trouble.
Anyway, here I am. My daughter is ten months old, so I've experienced that newness and feeling of terror, joy and being overwhelmed, too. I'm so sorry that nurses and others subverted your attempts to breastfeed, but you're obviously doing well bottle feeding. You love your son, he is happy and healthy, so that is what's really important. it sounds like your husband is like-minded, which is necessary and wonderful. Even though I am breastfeeding (and was it ever difficult for the two of us to learn! we were in the remedial class for breastfeeding), I experienced a mourning period during which I reflected on my birth experience. I felt sad that things didn't go entirely as I planned (does anything, ever?), and I even cried about it and talked to my midwife about my sense of failure. Cervadil was administered to me, because my baby was (they said, I didn't really feel) two weeks overdue. So I didn't go into spontaneous labor, as I had expected.
But that's a long story. What I wanted to assure you is that you are not alone. I, too, thought my baby would be sleeping in her own crib right away - HA! I don't know how people did it in the 60s or so, with regimented schedules for a brand new person! How can you tear the baby away from you? And put him on a strict feeding schedule, when he's hungry NOW? None of this makes sense to me, and I think we have to live it to truly undertand. And not only that, we have to trust ourselves, our feelings, and our instincts. My doula told me that she has several sisters who made up rigid schedules for feeding, sleeping, etc. when they had their babies, and they are now some of the neediest children she knows. She believes that her sister's schedules actually denied (my words, not hers) their babies the comfort and gratification of milk when they were hungry, and so they never really got the comfort they needed. And as a teacher, I believe that, if childrens' needs are met when they're young, they will be less needy and more confident people when they're older.
I better stop here. Congratulations to you and your husband on the birth of your son. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choices. Take that baby to bed with you, feed him on demand, carry him around - whatever you think is best. Enjoy the wild ride of parenthood.
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