Did you send you LO to preschool if you planned on HS? - Mothering Forums
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Learning at Home and Beyond > Did you send you LO to preschool if you planned on HS?
a(TM)?Star's Avatar a(TM)?Star 03:11 PM 12-09-2008
Just curious. We're planning on HS, but with the *chance* that we can't continue, I was wondering what your thoughts on the benefits of preschool are if you plan on HS anyway. Did you send your child to preschool? Tell me why.

Arduinna's Avatar Arduinna 03:27 PM 12-09-2008
no, because I'm committed to HSing and because I don't think there are really any benefits to preschool. IMO it's just glorified daycare.
petra_william's Avatar petra_william 03:36 PM 12-09-2008
no. even if theres a chance i might not be able to hs i would want to keep my child out of institutional settings for as long as possible. children belong home, to their parents, not to a classroom or daycare.
a(TM)?Star's Avatar a(TM)?Star 03:57 PM 12-09-2008
Thank you for your responses. I truly believe the same as you have mentioned, I'm just curious about the "fun" aspect of it. We get out almost every day, or every other, but not always in a "play" kind of way. We to loads of crafts at home, with stories, and imaginative play, but ds doesn't always get to have play dates ( I hate that word) often. I tried hooking up with our local HS group, and they basically said that they want nothing to do with us till we're officially HS'ing. Yikes.
onlyzombiecat's Avatar onlyzombiecat 04:09 PM 12-09-2008
When dd was preschool age we were not decided on hs. We didn't send her to pre-school because we didn't feel she would benefit from it.
I think at pre-school age you could find play opportunities outside of a hs group to socialize. There are still mom's groups for that age and library story times and just meeting other kids at the park. I don't think it has to be formal and structured.
Needle in the Hay's Avatar Needle in the Hay 04:28 PM 12-09-2008
No. I've always taken him places to play (not everyday or anything) and that first year when he was 3 we did a parent-child gym class once a week and the next year I ran a little English class for a few months so he saw kids there. Since then he hasn't done anything too formal, he's gone to a few craft workshops that you can sign up for one by one. I figure he'll be ready for more stuff fairly soon, I see no need to push him into anything.

It seems a little odd to do preschool on the off chance you can't HS. When does it end-- do you do kindergarten in case you won't be able to homeschool for 1st grade and so on? Maybe I misunderstand what you mean, though.
vintagetroll's Avatar vintagetroll 04:30 PM 12-09-2008
I'm sending my daughter to a really neat summer montessori program. Our state pays for free preschool for a certain number of hours, and this place has alot of really neat activities. I know my little social butterfly will love it, but if I detect problems I will pull her out.
I don't think its needed, and it totally depends on the childs temperment. If we had to pay for it I would never do it because there is so many more neat family things we could do for the money. I also made sure that the acedemic side of things were going to complement our teachings at home. No reason to have her locked in a room learning shapes and colors, which she has known since before she was two.
a(TM)?Star's Avatar a(TM)?Star 04:41 PM 12-09-2008
[QUOTE=Needle in the Hay;12765056]No. I've always taken him places to play (not everyday or anything) and that first year when he was 3 we did a parent-child gym class once a week and the next year I ran a little English class for a few months so he saw kids there. Since then he hasn't done anything too formal, he's gone to a few craft workshops that you can sign up for one by one. I figure he'll be ready for more stuff fairly soon, I see no need to push him into anything.

It seems a little odd to do preschool on the off chance you can't HS. When does it end-- do you do kindergarten in case you won't be able to homeschool for 1st grade and so on? Maybe I misunderstand what you mean, though.[/QUOTE]

I guess what I was trying to convey was the "classroomy" feel that he might get from preschool. It is actually why I don't want to send him, but I am always worried about having to stop HS'ing if we have to. Ds doesn't deal well with change.
water's Avatar water 04:55 PM 12-09-2008
I did preschool for a little while with my younger child, so I could get a break and spend some time one-on-one with my older child. I totally used it as cheap play-based daycare, and deliberately chose the least academic preschool I could find so she would just play.

I wouldn't use it to get my child ready for the classroom though, as a HSer I feel kids should be at home as long as possible even if you do end up having to send them to school later. He would adjust.
sogriffin's Avatar sogriffin 04:56 PM 12-09-2008
We are planning on homeschooling, but my oldest is currently in a YMCA-run playschool. For us, it was a solution to a childcare need that had to be met, so "glorified daycare" would be applicable in our case.
I have fairly neutral feelings about it. I don't think it's harming her or invoking any institutional mindsets, but I can't say that she's really getting anything out of it that she couldn't get from playing with us at home. She does enjoy it. The curriculum isn't heavily academic and includes singing, dancing, coloring, and the basic "letter of the week."
We won't be sending her to the Florida state-paid-for Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten next year though. It may be "Free VPK" but it's actually just pre-FCAT prep disguised as free preschool, and not at all what we are interested in.
karemore's Avatar karemore 05:07 PM 12-09-2008
DD is preschool age now (3 1/2) but we're commited to HSing her so we opted not to send her to preschool.

We do have plenty of other opportunities for her to play and have fun with others though. If I didn't, I wouldn't see anything wrong with sending her to preschool with her friends.
sparkygirl74's Avatar sparkygirl74 05:59 PM 12-09-2008
We sent DD to preschool this year even though we are totally committed to HS starting next year. We recently moved to a new area where we knew noone, so for us it was a ready made group of friends. We have met plenty of kids though, so DS will not be going to preschool.
pinky's Avatar pinky 06:10 PM 12-09-2008
I sent dd#1 to preschool, but we had no plans to homeschool when we started. The main reasons for us were that she was/is very social, so she just loved being with other kids. It was hard to meet her social needs on my own. And honestly, I really needed a break--she gave up her nap realllly early so even with preschool a couple of mornings a week we still had plenty of time togethere. She loved it, which is the main reason we continued.

With dd#2, I didn't plan on preschool but did try a home-based program really just for childcare. She didn't much like it so we didn't continue. Her life is so much different...always with her sister and LOTS of time with other kids, so she didn't get an unmet need taken care of. She'd just rather be home with me and her sister--so she is.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preschool for a child you intend to homeschool, if it works well for your child and family. I don't think I'd put a child in preschool just in case they need to go to school, though...they can certainly learn everything they need (and more!) at home. If he has to adapt later, he'll be more able to (IMO) if he's had time to learn and play in a developmentally appropriate way. The nuts and bolts of school are pretty easy to pick up if you need to.
mommy68's Avatar mommy68 06:17 PM 12-09-2008
Mine went to preschool even though I wanted to homeschool. I had different reasons for sending each child to a preschool. I didn't see it as a daycare. I saw it as a chance for them to get out of the house and enjoy something a few hours a week and I worked from home while they each attended preschool so I didn't get any "fun" out of that free time, lol.

I also sent my kids to a private school for almost 2 years but have homeschooled the rest of the time other than that brief period in school. I have nothing against schools in general and never say never because I may have to use one again one day.

I'm also very committed to homeschooling right now in the present.
milehighmonkeys's Avatar milehighmonkeys 06:30 PM 12-09-2008
We did not send DD to preschool. I don't know why we would. We keep involved in our homeschool groups, so she gets to be around other kids. She has a learning rich environment at home. I don't know how she would benefit from preschool over our current arrangement. The important thing is that her needs are met.
mysticmomma's Avatar mysticmomma 06:35 PM 12-09-2008
bbl
moondiapers's Avatar moondiapers 06:35 PM 12-09-2008
I sent my youngest to preschool because we couldn't seem to get my oldest's science labs done with him in the way, lol. They weren't appropriate or safe to include him. He had fun, it was only accross the street from use for 2 half days a week....and kindermusik came in one of those days so it was win-win.
rootzdawta's Avatar rootzdawta 06:40 PM 12-09-2008
I am considering sending DS to the pre-school at the YMCA which is just up the block from us. We have no homeschooling groups/support and I have had a heck of a time trying to find enough socializing opportunities for ds. I am hoping this improves once kids in his age group are in actual school, i.e. actually homeschooling. I'm willing to drive to or start my own group too. But from what I've heard, the environment is really laid back and the little girl I know who goes really has a good time. So . . . I might. Somehow there's a difference between pre-school and kindergarten. FWIW, we're required to keep records of our homeschooling from kindergarten. It's a bit more "serious".
Linda on the move's Avatar Linda on the move 10:16 PM 12-09-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Calla~ View Post
I guess what I was trying to convey was the "classroomy" feel that he might get from preschool. It is actually why I don't want to send him, but I am always worried about having to stop HS'ing if we have to. Ds doesn't deal well with change.
One of my DDs started school for the first time in 5th grade and adjusted just fine. A change that is difficult when a child is 3 is fun and exciting when they are 10.
Purple Cat's Avatar Purple Cat 10:23 PM 12-09-2008
I'll share my experience, even though I'm sensing it's a minority viewpoint here.

I did send my twins to preschool. At age 2, they attended 2x/week for 2 hours each day. At age 3, they attend 3x/week for 2 1/2 hours each day. At age 4, they will attend 4x/week for 2 1/2 hours each day. At this program, the time sent in school is relatively brief.

I did find some HUGE benefits. Foremost, my children learned to make transitions quickly and easily. I went from taking forever to get us out of the house and still being late, to having my children cooperate and quickly dress and exit. Our preschool worked on transitions and my children benefitted greatly.

I considered it a "positive" that my children developed relationships with very nurturing teachers and learned to accept necessary limits from them.

I considered it a "positive" that my children spent a good chunk of time playing with and developing relationships with a consistent group of children.

They also benefitted in my view from the structure.

I don't think these benefits are limited in their usefulness simply to children continuing in a formal school institution. I also don't think these benefits can exclusively be derived from preschool. But for me, as a single parent with no family in the area and twins, preschool was immensely helpful to our family and to my childrne.
alegna's Avatar alegna 10:41 PM 12-09-2008
No, but we toyed with the idea. It largely came down to one of my main reasons for homeschooling- I don't want to be tied to a school schedule- have to be up at X time, vacations set, etc.

-Angela
a(TM)?Star's Avatar a(TM)?Star 10:51 PM 12-09-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
One of my DDs started school for the first time in 5th grade and adjusted just fine. A change that is difficult when a child is 3 is fun and exciting when they are 10.
This is comforting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple Cat View Post
I'll share my experience, even though I'm sensing it's a minority viewpoint here.

I did send my twins to preschool. At age 2, they attended 2x/week for 2 hours each day. At age 3, they attend 3x/week for 2 1/2 hours each day. At age 4, they will attend 4x/week for 2 1/2 hours each day. At this program, the time sent in school is relatively brief.

I did find some HUGE benefits. Foremost, my children learned to make transitions quickly and easily. I went from taking forever to get us out of the house and still being late, to having my children cooperate and quickly dress and exit. Our preschool worked on transitions and my children benefitted greatly.

I considered it a "positive" that my children developed relationships with very nurturing teachers and learned to accept necessary limits from them.

I considered it a "positive" that my children spent a good chunk of time playing with and developing relationships with a consistent group of children.

They also benefitted in my view from the structure.

I don't think these benefits are limited in their usefulness simply to children continuing in a formal school institution. I also don't think these benefits can exclusively be derived from preschool. But for me, as a single parent with no family in the area and twins, preschool was immensely helpful to our family and to my childrne.

Thank you for posting this. Although I'm still up in the air about it, leaning towards no, everything that you pointed out is exactly why I am pondering it.
Mizelenius's Avatar Mizelenius 02:26 AM 12-10-2008
I have nothing against a good preschool program. I was lucky to find an excellent co-op (3Xs a week, 2.5 hours per day). Here are my experiences:

DD1:
1st year of preK (just turned 4): LOVED it.
2nd year of preK (age 4 and 5): Didn't enjoy it as much. Too academic, but not the right level for her. Had behavioral issues. Different teacher.
KG: (different school, age 5.5): Hated it, but no behavioral issues.
2nd grade (age 6.5): Hated it. Was in for 3 months, and now I've pulled her out for HSing.

DD2:
Started her in the same preK program with the same great teacher at age 3.5. Was excited to go at first, but quickly lost interest. Made up excuses to stay home. Had no problems at all in class, but just wanted to be with me.

So, as you can see, going to a preK, even a great one, will not necessarily mean your child will have more fun there than with you at home, even if you aren't doing all those neat activities. Putting your child in will also not guarantee that your child will ever enjoy school, as in the case of DD1.
hipumpkins's Avatar hipumpkins 02:48 AM 12-10-2008
No preschool. My DH were not even planning on homeschooling but preschool was always off the table.
It turned out though that DD does not do well by any stretch of the imagination in large groups and becomes overwhelmed very easily. This is what led me to researching homeschooling and that just solidified my decsion not to send her preschool either.
phathui5's Avatar phathui5 09:19 PM 12-10-2008
I didn't send them to preschool. I think that some preschools can be good as childcare to give the parent a break, but if your child is around other people regularly, I don't see any added benefits to sending them to preschool.
hotmamacita's Avatar hotmamacita 04:41 AM 12-11-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Calla~ View Post
Just curious. We're planning on HS, but with the *chance* that we can't continue, I was wondering what your thoughts on the benefits of preschool are if you plan on HS anyway. Did you send your child to preschool? Tell me why.
No, I did not. I don't care for preschools personally.
fadedgirl's Avatar fadedgirl 04:48 AM 12-11-2008
We had our daughter in several preschools until the age of 5 when we decided to homeschool (never considered it before then). If I had to do it over again, I would not do it...I would seek out play mates to come to either our home or theirs, or the park. And even this I wouldn't worry about doing too much! If I had to do preschool, I would only do 2 days a week for no longer than 2.5 hours per day.

It is sad, yet very interesting (when taking an objective perspective) to have been able to observe the affects of full-time preschool, part-time 5 days a week preschool, and a 2 or 3 partial days a week preschool. My daughter's serenity suffered greatly the more she was out of the home.

Was she not enjoying preschool? She seemed to be, said she was, loved her friends, she had no bad issues, all the teachers loved her. I'm not bragging!! I'm trying to explain that even though she seemed perfectly happy, social, and to fit in with whatever rules were present, I can tell you *now* that she was being forced to rise to the occasion. She did it, and she did it well, but it was far too much for her. I didn't realize until we stopped, or increased, etc. And sometimes even when I noticed certain things after stopping or starting or increasing or decreasing her preschool time, I didn't put two and two together.

Hindsight sucks for the mother's conscience sometimes.
hotmamacita's Avatar hotmamacita 04:56 AM 12-11-2008
Wow, faded girl!!!! Your daughter is so lucky to have such a thoughtful and reflective mother. THAT is more important than what schooling avenues we pursue. Our hearts are what matters.

I have seen that dynamic of which you wrote and I admire you for sharing that with us. Again, your daughter is lucky and truly Blessed you are her mother.


ShineliketheSon's Avatar ShineliketheSon 06:42 AM 12-11-2008
We've decided to homeschool but I must say we considered preschool for a bit. DD talks about school alot and everyone always asks her if she's in preschool. Now she says "no, we homeschool." Which always makes me smile and feel proud. Anyway, I was wondering if it would be good for her next year with baby coming but I've decided against it. She knows way more than what they would teach at preschool so the only thing she'd be getting is time away from me. We spend plenty of time with other kids with our homeschool group (which will be doing some co-ops too), playdates, sunday school, music class, ballet...so she doesn't need any more of that. I wish there was a montesorri type preschool that only did 1-2 hours 2 days a week but there isn't. They focus more on the child's learning level and more hands on activities but again that itsn't available here...I'm hoping the co-op offers more learning opportunity because to be honest, as a pregnant mommy, I'm really lacking at physically teaching lately...we are unschooling at this point which is okay by me but I always look for other ways to enrich her learning.

I must say today she did a lot of activities and learning on her own with playdough, coloring, folding valentines cards (leftover from last year), sorting her colored chips, and we read some books.
3girlmom's Avatar 3girlmom 10:25 PM 12-11-2008
All my kids attend Montessori preschool until they finish the final year, and then I homeschool. I do this for several reasons, even though I love homeschooling and plan to continue for as long as it is successful for each child.

- I love the Montessori environment, which, while it can in part be replicated at home, really depends on the specialized materials in the classroom.

- My daughters love the school and are eager, every day, to attend.

- It helps that someone more patient than I has them for a few hours each morning. My youngest daughter is "spirited" or "challenging" or whatever term you prefer and I am not able to meet her needs well without this outside help, and I am better able to meet the needs of my other children because she is happier.

- I think Montessori helps children learn self-direction and independence in ways that are useful for hsing. Of course, this can certainly be taught at home, but again, it's been better for us with the guidance of those infinitely patient Montessori teachers!

In the end, I think it's very personal, not only what you want to do, but what is right for your child and what the options are.
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