How do you feel about childcare at a gym? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 50 Old 01-14-2009, 04:15 PM
 
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How does he do when you go out and leave him with his father?

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#32 of 50 Old 01-14-2009, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
How does he do when you go out and leave him with his father?
He's fine. He used to have a hard time with it -- I just started going out once a week to a knitting circle a few months ago and now my DH even puts him to bed with no trouble.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#33 of 50 Old 01-14-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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I bring my kids to the gym to play while I work out.
My kids enjoy it and because we homeschool my older tow kids are there with the baby. They are very good with the baby so I feel good that I'll know for sure he is fine while I'm exercising.

I ask the child care provider to try to comfort him if he fusses (bring a toy, pick him up or whatever) but if that doesn't work and he just wants Mama to come get me. They have a few times. I nurse and check in with him and then he's been fine and I go work out some more.

When my dd's were younger and they didn't want me to leave I used to stay with them and got them used to the space and the kids and talked it up about how Mama wants to exercise and I'd be back to play some more.

For me, it's been worth the effort.
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#34 of 50 Old 01-14-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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Hmmm...that was a rather dismissive comment. Well, for us it wasn't "no biggie." I expect a few colds and maybe one stomach bug a year, not one after another after another.

And as for happy mamas make happy families, well sure! But having to miss my workouts because I needed to keep my sick kiddos at home wasn't making me happy. Our solution has been for me to go very early in the morning, or right after dinner, or right after we get the kids down at night.

For many families, avoiding frequent colds and other viruses is one of the fringe benefits of hs'ing. And I don't mean we're locked up at home all winter...far from it. But we've been lucky enough to avoid being around kids who are contagious. :
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Not to be smug about it, but mine didn't and don't. Runny noses are rare around here.

Perhaps this belief is one of the reasons my daughter picked up so many colds at the daycare gym. :

You know, my son hasn't had a cold in so long I cant remember the last time. I guess what I should have said, was that I don't think that fear of childhood colds should keep you from trying out the gym. Unless your babe has a compromised immune system or something. I used to do home daycare and my son got more colds from my one daycare child then from the gym.

"Breastfeeding is a robust, biologically stable activity so central to our evolutionary identity that it names the class of animals to which we belong" (Breastfeeding Atlas, Third Edition)
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#35 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 12:15 AM
 
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I just feel like I need to either decide I'm doing it and not have doubts or not do it at all.
Absolutely. This is key. Not that you can't be flexible and change once you've made a decision (if he does not improve after a while for example; or if you decide not to do it if you find yourself suffering the consequences of not doing this for yourself). But making a decision and trying it for a while is a good idea.
I agree with the PP's who suggested trying a pre-school instead. A gym daycare is just "babysitting". A pre-school has more of a purpose; and you can shop around different pre-schools to find which ones suit your philosophies or just feel right.
A few months ago, I started my now-3-year-old at a home daycare, 2 mornings a week. This is our version of "preschool". I knew he needed an even gentler introduction to the big wide world away from Mommy than a preschool, so I found a home daycare with just 5 kids and a very warm environment. When he first started, the DCP gave him lots of individual attention - still does, of course, but she really worked on helping him adjust at the beginning. He still sometimes cries at drop off, but is ALWAYS full of beans and happy at pick-up (ie not just happy to see me, but clearly having a good time). I've struggled at times with guilt about it, but then I remember how I get when I *don't* have a mommy sanity break like this. I am a better, nicer mom because of these breaks, and DS is getting some great socialization and doing crafts & songs & activities that I don't necessarily do with him at home.

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
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#36 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 01:15 AM
 
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He's fine. He used to have a hard time with it -- I just started going out once a week to a knitting circle a few months ago and now my DH even puts him to bed with no trouble.
He had a hard time with it, but now he is fine. Why should the gym be any different?

He is there with another child that he knows. He can learn to relax and enjoy himself with other people without you. He is a little boy, not a baby. There's no reason to treat him like a baby. He'll pick up on your expectations. If you expect him to adjust to this, he will. As long as you feel guilty and like you are supposed to keep him happy at all times, he won't be happy.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#37 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 10:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, after the last post, I'm hesitant to write this, but...

I've decided not to push it anymore. My son just kept saying he didn't want to go back there (it was the first thing he said when he woke up this morning)...it was breaking my heart. I told him I wouldn't leave him to exercise anymore, and I apologized for leaving him before, telling him that I thought he would be okay, but he wasn't, so I wouldn't do it again. Two minutes later he asked if we could go there today (they have an indoor gym for kids that we also go to).

We may still join the gym but I won't be leaving my son in the childcare room, at least not now. I HOPE he'll be okay at some point in the future, but we'll see.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#38 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 02:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
How does he do when you go out and leave him with his father?
I'm curious about this too? My children cried when under the age of 3 and left in various places, but if I was gone for at least a couple of hours or more the caretaker would always tell me my child stopped crying for me within a few minutes after I left. They would forget about me it seems.

Single (divorced), self-employed working, college student MOM to:

 

17 yr old

11 yr old 

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#39 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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I'm not clear about what you apologized for? Or in what way he wasn't ok.
Maybe you mean becasue he cried or didn't have fun??

If you don't want to go because he didn't like it of course that's fine. If you want to go and want him to get comfortable then maybe you can try some of the suggestions offered.
What works for each family will vary.
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#40 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not clear about what you apologized for? Or in what way he wasn't ok.
Maybe you mean becasue he cried or didn't have fun??

If you don't want to go because he didn't like it of course that's fine. If you want to go and want him to get comfortable then maybe you can try some of the suggestions offered.
What works for each family will vary.
I was apologizing for leaving him when he was asking me not to.

I feel like I did try various things -- staying with him the first few times so he would get used to the place/teachers, leaving for only five or ten minutes the next few times, showing him where I would be, giving him something to look forward to afterward.

And several people mentioned preschool...I'm planning on homeschooling my son and don't want to send him to school of any kind. I was making an exception for the gym daycare because it would only be a few hours a week and I wanted to start exercising.

Honestly, I'm not judging any other mamas who would (and did) handle this situation differently, but it just felt WRONG to me. I know he's not a baby and can understand that I'm coming back, but somehow it did seem similar to CIO, for me. He may have gotten used to it, but because he was ready or because he realized that I would force him to go anyway?

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#41 of 50 Old 01-15-2009, 10:10 PM
 
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I see what your saying...

I wouldn't go the preschool route either. I like that my kids are in the child watch room so that if they do need me I can be there in a moments notice.
So much depends on individual circumstances--the child and the gym and the other kids who attend...
I hope you find a way to exercise that works for your family.
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#42 of 50 Old 01-17-2009, 12:17 PM
 
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I caught up on your thread from a few days ago. I can see both sides of this, but I think I'm solidly on the side of not leaving him when you say that it just 'felt wrong' to you.

There's your answer, NM. You know H better than anyone else in the world, and if something feels wrong to you, then there's your direction.

With love,
Em

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#43 of 50 Old 01-18-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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NM,
I have been through the same thing with my two boys. Unfortunately it led to me paying for a gym membership for over 6 months and not using the gym. We just started going back to the gym this month and both of my boys do fine, they don't cry and they tell me about what they did while I was gone. Fortunately we belong to a gym who has a children area that is just about as big as the adult area and they have lots of activities and places to rotate to keeping my boys busy. Hopefully you will be able to find other ways to have some time to yourself and to exercise until your little one is ready to be left with the gym staff.
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#44 of 50 Old 01-18-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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It depends. Is this really the only way you can get any exercise and time for yourself? Because a little of that is important, too. If so, I'd keep going but stay with him the next few times. Then try staying with him and settling him in and leaving for justa few minutes when he is comfortable. If that doesn't work, maybe try again in 6 months.

I never did use a childcare gym because the ones nearby here are, IMO, not places I'd leave my kid. Poorly supervised, dirty, kids baby to age 12 all crammed in one room. I'm sure not every place is like that.
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#45 of 50 Old 01-18-2009, 11:46 PM
 
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Sounds like you made your decision already, I just wanted to relay my experience. When my DD was 3.5, I mistook her coherence and social competency as a signal of her ability to be away from me for periods of time. Wrong!

As a first time mother, I gained perspective on this only by living through it.

If it feels wrong to you, there is a reason for that, I wish all mothers would listen their intuition (myself included!). I agree with your DH that it is CIO. And its easy to say this now having been able to watch the progression through time...as when you don't force the child into this, and then are there to witness when it truly IS something your child is ready to do -- its soooo easy. They *want* to do it, and they do it without any concern over you! And while you have longed for this day, you may be surprised to find how very bittersweet, and shocking, a moment it is.
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#46 of 50 Old 01-19-2009, 12:00 AM
 
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PS: I'd also like to say that I tried, in vain, to find a gym with an acceptable child care room. (I've since found one that I think I'd be OK with, but now I have a treadmill and do yoga with my daughter at home, so its not needed!)

But I do agree with the other posters about a preschool being preferable, as the kids, teachers, and the routine would be the same every day. A very important distinction from the chaos of a gym environment, with differing kids of differing ages coming and going, etc. Of course this all depends upon finding a quality, play-oriented preschool, and I still would only do this for a couple of hours a day a couple times per week. We did not find this to deter from our homeschooling whatsoever!!
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#47 of 50 Old 01-19-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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My kids happily go to the gym daycare. The baby, though he has gone since 3 mos (currently 14 mos), is getting upset if I come check on him or if I leave him and he sees me. If he doesn't see me, he's fine.

My older kids have gone to various gym daycares since they were around 3 and 4 yrs old. I just told them, "You're fine" and went about my workout. If they cried for too long and didn't calm down, then the staff came and got me. At our current gym, they give it 20 min and if the child can't be consoled AT ALL and doesn't calm down, they call the parents. (They will page or come get a parent sooner than 20 min if the child is REALLY upset and showing no signs of calming down.)

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#48 of 50 Old 01-19-2009, 03:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by New Mama View Post
Well, after the last post, I'm hesitant to write this, but...

I've decided not to push it anymore. My son just kept saying he didn't want to go back there (it was the first thing he said when he woke up this morning)...it was breaking my heart. I told him I wouldn't leave him to exercise anymore, and I apologized for leaving him before, telling him that I thought he would be okay, but he wasn't, so I wouldn't do it again. Two minutes later he asked if we could go there today (they have an indoor gym for kids that we also go to).

We may still join the gym but I won't be leaving my son in the childcare room, at least not now. I HOPE he'll be okay at some point in the future, but we'll see.
Your posts tell me you're feeling something you're not comfortable with. Trust your instincts. That's not to say the gym daycare is a BAD thing, just not something that works for your ds right now.

Maybe you can take an extra hour or so after your knitting circle and go to the gym or do some exercise somewhere. If not, maybe at home w/ your ds.

It's important to take time for yourself, too.

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#49 of 50 Old 01-19-2009, 03:49 AM
 
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just wanted to add that we don't use gym/childcare but I have discovered Leslie Sansone walk fit dvds. I use these at home and love them (I actually got them from the library and netflix). Mostly I do it after they go to bed or their rest time but sometimes I do it when they are awake having playtime. I figure they don't have the downtime of a car ride, no germs to worry about and they get time to play independently uninterupted. Works for me
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#50 of 50 Old 01-20-2009, 10:40 PM
 
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I don't have time to read all of the posts but to the OP:

I had the same problem. So I just asked the day care (at the YMCA) if I could come in WITH my child (20 mo DD). I did that twice a week while my oldest was in his gym class. It took a few months but its fine now. I just brought something to read while she puttered around the play area. Each week I sat a little closer to the door and last week was the first week where I left and worked out next door. Worked like a charm! Now I can work out twice a week. She doesn't even care if I leave now even though she cried like she was in terrible pain before.

Of course, I go at the same days and times every week (due to my DS's class) so there are always the same caretakers there.
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