The "I don't have the patience to homeschool" argument - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Talula Fairie View Post
For me, it's not about the schooling itself so much as I just need those kid free hours to myself. I don't like the implication that I have to "deal" with this. I have two toddlers 16 months apart, a mental illness, and various other factors working against me. I don't think wanting some time to yourself and looking forward to your kids being in school means you have deep seeded issues that need to be dealt with. And even if I did, I'm already doing everything I can to deal with them.
I agree and at least you are being honest. I have dealt with depression off and on for years and I also WAH, go to college and I homeschool right now. There are times when I wonder what the heck I'm doing all of this for. But I'm somehow able to do it all and I'm med-free at the moment.

What I get tired of is meeting non-h/s parents in real life who down homeschooling and have never even given it a chance nor do they know anything about it. They say they could never teach their child "everything" they need to know that they would learn in school. I often wonder what parents mean by "everything?" What the heck do they think their kids just have to know that they aren't able to help them learn about or find resources to help them learn. It's just an excuse for some.

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#62 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 07:39 PM
 
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It's fascinating how this thread unfolded. I think that homeschool/schooling has become another front on the mommy war. Many moms feel defensive about what they are doing, which is why they sometimes feel attacked when people say anything. And many moms are doing what they think is best, and therefore have an air of judgement when they talk to moms who are doing something different.

It's odd to me how often the theme of "I really need a little time to myself" comes up on homeschooling forms, but and yet how judgmental homeschool moms can be when non-homeschooling moms say anything that might mean that they need a little time to themselves. We all know that parenting takes patience, and that moms whose kids are in school use and develop patience EVERY day. Yet, if they (we?) actually say that having a break from our child helps us be a better parent, many homeschooling moms are anxious to pounce.

So if it seems to you that the schooers you know are telling you their excuses for not homeschooling, may be you could look at yourself and see if you, in your heart of heart, think they need an excuse. Because if you believe that homeschooling is best, then you do believe that they excuse and they pick up on it. Chances are if you truly believe that either option can be great, you won't end up hearing other people's "excuses."

I'm on both sides of this fence, with one at home and one at school.
I need time to myself to be a better parent. I understand that. But when someone says "I could never homeschool, I don't have the patience for it". It's kind of like saying to a city-dweller "I could never live there, I'm not tough enough" or saying to someone from the country "I could never live there, I'd be too bored." 1) I never asked them why they don't homeschool, and 2) there's an implicit judgment in their statement that homeschooling is unpleasant. I don't care why people make the schooling choices they do, and I honestly don't judge them for it-- I assume they're doing what works best for their family. But my experience is that people who honestly respect homeschooling don't come out with these knee-jerk explanations the first time they hear I homeschool.

ZM
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#63 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 08:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
It's fascinating how this thread unfolded. I think that homeschool/schooling has become another front on the mommy war. Many moms feel defensive about what they are doing, which is why they sometimes feel attacked when people say anything. And many moms are doing what they think is best, and therefore have an air of judgement when they talk to moms who are doing something different.

ITA.

It's odd to me how often the theme of "I really need a little time to myself" comes up on homeschooling forms, but and yet how judgmental homeschool moms can be when non-homeschooling moms say anything that might mean that they need a little time to themselves. We all know that parenting takes patience, and that moms whose kids are in school use and develop patience EVERY day. Yet, if they (we?) actually say that having a break from our child helps us be a better parent, many homeschooling moms are anxious to pounce.

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I do not think anyone on this forum "pounced". Most people readily admit the need for "alone time". I think this is achievable for most people without putting kids in school - thus it should be irrelevant in decisions about schooling.



So if it seems to you that the schooers you know are telling you their excuses for not homeschooling, may be you could look at yourself and see if you, in your heart of heart, think they need an excuse. Because if you believe that homeschooling is best, then you do believe that they excuse and they pick up on it. Chances are if you truly believe that either option can be great, you won't end up hearing other people's "excuses."




Let me recount a quick (true) story.

I was gardenning. A woman I did not know very well was walking by and we began chatting about the weather, etc. She said she heard I HSed (to which I nodded) and she said " I could never HS, I don't have the patience". Really, the comment came out of the blue. I certainly did not ask her why she did not HS. I was left with the feeling that yes - she was making excuses -but she was making them to herself. Otherwise why say it? It is also possible she was projecting (a bit of the mommy wars you spoke about above) and felt she had to defend her choice even though I had not said one thing to her.

So, I think the whether or not "excuses" are being made depends on context.

If we are in a discussion about whether to choose HS or not - it is a statement, not an excuse.

If it comes out of the blue.....well, that is something else entirely and I think the speaker is the one who needs to do the reflecting.
.
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#64 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 08:47 PM
 
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Really enjoyed reading this thread. I think where a lot the mommy wars on this topic come from is that some moms feel that if someone else is happy doing something different than them, they have to defend what they are doing, or project something negative onto what he other person is doing, in order to feel confident of their own choice. I applaud the responders who truly, truly, can appreciate that different things work for different families for various reasons without judgment.

I really liked that it was pointed out that being a SAHM of little ones is for the very most part, not the same as HSing older children. I had never thought of this before and it makes SO SO much sense. I think a lot of mom's decide on schooling choices when their children are still young and not yet of school age which can lead to some of the judgment or not understanding differing choices.

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#65 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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I'm surprised that these intelligent, educated adults are so intimidated by early elementary education. I just don't get it.
Haha! I laughed when I read that.

I liked this post a lot.

My son is kindergarten age and I was sort of surprised that I got comments about how brave I was and everything. Um, it's kindergarten. I think I can handle it; it's easier than driving twice for a measly half day of schooltime!


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Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
I despise the quasi-admiration of homeschoolers by non-homeschoolers. It always feels like they're saying "you're weird" in an awkward but socially acceptable way. And there's no good response, either I argue with her about it, or I agree with her that I'm a saint-- either one's uncomfortable.

ZM
Totally agree here. I started wondering if they thought I was homeschooling for the "good mom" spotlight or something, and it was always uncomfortable if I tried to say something about it not being a big deal. (Of course, there are concerns that come up and days that are hard, but that doesn't mean homeschooling is at fault, but that's not what I bring up at those times)

It kinda felt like being "nice" made them the better person, feel a little better about themselves now that they've been confronted by this "super mommy" type. It feels kinda sad. I think it felt sad, because this separated us. Suddenly, we are not two moms at the park watching our kids; I just have trouble understanding how that happens.

After trying to say, "No really, It's not like I am brave or anything, it's not that hard to homeschool", there was usually an uncomfortable silence, leaving me feeling like"Oops, now they think I am insinuating they are lazy or something for NOT homeschooling b/c it's not a big deal for me."

Sigh.

Why is it such a sensitive subject ? I don't get it. There's not "a list" of to-dos that make a person a "good parent". It's not just lip service, it is how to be a truly successful parent: just do what you can to meet your kids' needs, be the parent your child needs, not the parent that needs to win the "parenting" race. I don't want to be the bad guy; it seems people always need someone to vilify for their own personal guilt for not choosing what they assume is the "best" choice, or what they assume someone else thinks is the best choice.

I don't like the schools in my area, I won't send my kids to school; for some people, that would mean they take that and think everyone who does send their kids to school are "bad parents". I don't need to validate my choices by vilifying another's.


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#66 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 09:08 PM
 
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Let me assure folks that when I meet someone who homeschools, the first thing out of my mouth is usually, "Wow, that's so great. What are you guys studying these days?"

It is not a statement about my lack of patience to homeschool.
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#67 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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Overall I am not a hugely patient person, but parent 9 and currently HS 6.

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#68 of 158 Old 04-30-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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I hear this all the time. Drives me nuts! Or another line I hear is "I don't know how you do it." I also hear that when people see I have 4 kids.

I just DO IT. Plain and simple. I don't know how people that send their kids to PS do it, though I was one of those parents just last year.
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#69 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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When I hear, "you must be so patient" or "that must take a lot of patience"
I usually laugh and tell them. "That's just a myth we, homeschoolers like to perpetuate so we look good"

The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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#70 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 12:41 AM
 
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I'm a hs'er now, but I used to say I wouldn't have the patience or confidence. I also used to think breastfeeding past a year was gross (and then went on to breastfeed both of my children until they were just shy of 2.5 yrs. old ).

There are days like today when I would have LOVED to have more time for myself and I really felt like I didn't have the patience I should to homeschool, however even when my kids were in school I had days when they got off the school bus and I felt stressed out with all the stuff we had to get done before they had to get to bed early for school the next day.

One odd thing I've found is that I've gotten to be more patient with my kids now that they are home all day. I used to get so stressed out during March Break wondering how I was going to manage having them home all day, but now that it's a fact of life and the norm to have them home all day, I'm more patient and realize I can enjoy all that extra time with them that I wouldn't have if they were in school all day.

I won't pretend though like it's all peaches and roses. There are definitely days when *I* need a time-out, but those moments happen whether they are in school or at home.
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#71 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 12:46 PM
 
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Like the PP said, I think diving in and confronting your problem areas is how you grow and learn. I found out when I had children that I get impatient with children 2 and older. Go figure. Well, being a homeschooler now of a five-year-old and dealing with a two-year-old at the same time gives me LOTS of practice in handling my impatience. And you know what? I'm getting better and better at it and learning so much. If I sent my boy to public/private school I probably would have not been learning so much. I already see a friend relegating some child raising responsibilities to her son's teacher.

I also realize how lucky I am that I CAN homeschool, that I CAN spend all this time with my children and that I have my dh's support.

I read somewhere too that homeschooling forces you to deal with your relationship with your children, not hand them over to someone else to teach, discipline, etc. I want to keep our connection strong. Not that some public school parents don't do this (I know my parents did), but it takes more hard work and intentionality to make the relationship work.

I agree. So many kids grow up and one day the parent goes: Who's this teenager eating at my table?

Something to consider.
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#72 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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I read somewhere too that homeschooling forces you to deal with your relationship with your children, not hand them over to someone else to teach, discipline, etc. I want to keep our connection strong. Not that some public school parents don't do this (I know my parents did), but it takes more hard work and intentionality to make the relationship work.

I agree. So many kids grow up and one day the parent goes: Who's this teenager eating at my table?

Something to consider.
Interestingly, when ds was in school, my patience was tried much more because he seemed to be an angry little boy so often. He's got a bit of a temper/stubborn personality (like his mom) sometimes regardless, but it wasn't until he went into JK that he started saying, "I hate you!" to me on almost a daily basis and just seemed so angry so often. He went to a "good" school and had a "good" teacher, it was only half a day, and it was mostly play all day, and I still very distinctly saw a negative change to my son's behaviour and personality. My theory was that he was stressed out from seperation from me and from constant changes in activities at school (he likes to stick on a task for a long time) and some kids at school making fun of him when he cried and also using words like "I hate you", which we never use at home with each other.

With dd the discipline battle was with her acting like her teacher knew everything, so whenever I tried to help her with work she didn't understand, she would say, "But the teacher didn't tell me to do it like that!". It was hopeless trying to help her with math especially. It was also a huge battle trying to get her to finish her homework in time to do things with the family because she dawdles and also had to be in bed very early to be up at 6:30am the next day for school.

So, even when kids are in school, you still need a lot of patience to parent, you just have to have patience for different things than if they are at home.
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#73 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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I just DO IT. Plain and simple. I don't know how people that send their kids to PS do it, though I was one of those parents just last year.
Could you elaborate on this a little? I'm not out to prove that either HSing of PS is "easier." Obviously, the concept of what is easy is very subjective. That's been made clear by this thread. Easy to me is difficult to you, etc.

I'm curious about what makes this so, however. For example, say I have two kids in school full time (I will next year). We get up in the morning, eat breakfast, get dressed, walk to school. None of this is much of a hassle. Then I have six hours to myself to work on writing, cooking or whatever I want. At three I go fetch the kids, remind the older one to do his homework, make dinner, etc.

Now, to me this day looks easy. It looks far easier than being with my children during those six hours.

However, it's clear to me from this thread that the day described would not be easy for some. I'm interested to know how you see it. Flip this scenario around for me. Momtocuteboys, when you say you don't know how I do it, what are you seeing that I'm not?
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#74 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 02:22 PM
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Well, I sent my kid to school for a year, and IMO homeschooling is a zillion times easier. For the first semester I was driving her almost half an hour each way, although I worked a mile from our house... so the commute sucked. But more than that, it was the getting up early, shepherding her through the morning getting ready stuff, rushing out the door... it left me stressed before the day had really begin. Then there was the pickup, when she could finally relax, and thus begin to fall apart all over me... then home to feed her, and we honestly gave up doing homework fairly early on because I wasn't going to fight that battle, but it would have been a battle... then trying to convince her to go to sleep at a time that wasn't right for her body, because she had to get up in the morning.

There was also the fun of dealing with inappropriate curriculum, safety issues at school, teacher who paid no attention to her needs, me, notes I wrote... lack of time to do the stuff we wanted to do... and just the constant readjusting - it seemed like every day after school it took her two or three hours to get back to herself, minimum. For my kid, school - either of the two we tried - was a lot of work for both of us.

Contrast that to our unschooling days... wake up when we please, eat, go to whatever appointments we have set up (which we can usually set so that they work with our scheudule) to do things we want to do. Everything flows...

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#75 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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Could you elaborate on this a little? I'm not out to prove that either HSing of PS is "easier." Obviously, the concept of what is easy is very subjective. That's been made clear by this thread. Easy to me is difficult to you, etc.

I'm curious about what makes this so, however. For example, say I have two kids in school full time (I will next year). We get up in the morning, eat breakfast, get dressed, walk to school. None of this is much of a hassle. Then I have six hours to myself to work on writing, cooking or whatever I want. At three I go fetch the kids, remind the older one to do his homework, make dinner, etc.

Now, to me this day looks easy. It looks far easier than being with my children during those six hours.

However, it's clear to me from this thread that the day described would not be easy for some. I'm interested to know how you see it. Flip this scenario around for me. Momtocuteboys, when you say you don't know how I do it, what are you seeing that I'm not?
I'm not Momtocuteboys, but I'll bite.

My kids are naturally nightowls. They have a bedtime, but they tend to stay up late looking at/reading books. If they went to school, I'd need to put an end to that, and it would probably require sitting outside their bedroom every night, to make sure they weren't sneaking flashlights under the covers. Then I'd have to get them up at a specific time every morning, whether or not they were still tired, and then force my tired, crabby children to dress and eat in time to catch the bus. If they missed the bus, I would have to take my youngest out with us, likely in the bitter cold (we live in the North) to get them to school.

Then when they got home, we would need to cram dinner, homework, extra-curriculars, and family/play time into about 3 1/2 hours, if they're going to get in bed early enough to be well-rested for school tomorrow. And that's only if the school doesn't have some special event that requires that we haul everyone back up there.

Because my kids hate to rush, this lifestyle would (did) include a LOT of stress and conflict. Add in the expectations that parents will fund raise and otherwise donate their time to the school, and it's hard for me to see school as a net gain.

Homeschooling means that I can embrace my kids' love of books and let them stay up late reading whenever they like. We can have the slow mornings our bodies need, do our "extra-curriculars" in the middle of the day, and still get plenty of academic stuff done, mainly through projects my kids initiate and enjoy. While I'm typing, my oldest is following a recipe to make sugar cookies from scratch, while my younger two play. It's not stressful, and the testing we've done confirms that our kids are learning at least as much as they would in school.
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#76 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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Could you elaborate on this a little? I'm not out to prove that either HSing of PS is "easier." Obviously, the concept of what is easy is very subjective. That's been made clear by this thread. Easy to me is difficult to you, etc.?
I will take a crack.

I have had kids in school - and may again. I have experienced both PS and HSing.

Here is my take:

I think PS is probably easier if:

-Your kids like it and thrive there
-parents are very happy with the way the school is run and its educational philosophy.

If these two are not present, PS is NOT easy- and probably more work than HSing (where you have control over how things run, etc).

When my children went to school we had to wake up early. This is not a big deal for many families - but it was for ours. Eating, getting dressed and making sure everything was packed was a big deal. Mornings really are a lot more pleasant now.

After school, however, was when the drama started. On a weekly basis my son would tell me things that would make my toes curl. They ranged from mean subs, not letting kids use the washroom when they liked, and very poor management (denial) of bullying issues. On a weekly basis I worried and stresed and tried to figure out whether I should talk to the school (even though I was ineffective) AGAIN. I worried about the messages my children were internalising. I do not miss this at all.

Simply from a "what is more stressing for parents POV" - I personally find that having a child in school and dealing with the school more stressing than stress that arises from hving kids home alot. YMMV.

Slightly off topic - I remeber reading a workplace article once that said levels of employee satisfaction went up with the amount of control employees have of their environment.

HSing parents have alot of control over the environment their kids are in - and this goes a long way in decreasing stress levels.

Peace,

Kathy
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#77 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 02:54 PM
 
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zinemama, I can share my experience with you, just to give you an example.

Let me first say that my school-aged child has consistently had "focus" issues since starting school. I won't call it ADD, and none of his teachers will either. His grades are all A's, and always have been. But we all have to stay. on. him. He daydreams. He dawdles. He is a deep thinker. Honestly, I believe he is bored out of his mind half the time, with the "busywork". But he also is just VERY easily distracted.

So, for the last 3 years of public school, it has been: Get up by alarm, in the dark, at 6:30 am. We settled on this time after many, many stressful mornings of having to rush rush rush and/or missing the bus a few times. Here is what he has heard: "Hurry up in the bath, no time to play, eat your food, no TV on school mornings, okay go brush your teeth", and (if he needs to use the toilet which is about half the mornings) "are you done? honey, you need to wipe and wash hands as SOON as you are finished, because the bus is coming!"

I also have two other younger children, so picture them getting up in the middle of all this, needing to nurse when they were younger, needing diapers changed, needing breakfast, whining, distracting my oldest...

Oh yeah, and picture that I have no help on these school mornings. Ever.

By the time I get him on the bus, I am still busy with the other two all day -- and at the same time, tied down to the school schedule because whatever errands/shopping/whatever I need to do that day, I HAVE to be back home by a certain time to catch the bus, OR I have to drive out to the school and get him, which involves unstrapping two children from their car seats and hauling them in the building (one or both of whom are ASLEEP), finding my child and signing him out, then strapping three children into their car seats.

By this point in the afternoon, I am EXHAUSTED. Mentally. Drained.

But, there is no time to go home and relax. School child needs a snack -- he is starving, you see, because at school he only eats lunch and that has been hours ago! But we don't just do junk snacks, he needs something healthy. So I'm not just handing this child a pop tart. After snack, he wants to play and unwind and instead, I have to insist that he does his homework, which is sometimes A LOT and you know, it takes him awhile to do it, in any case.

Picture my other two running around tearing up the house and hurting each other by this point, and in the middle of me trying to help with homework / get this healthy snack.

When the homework is finally finished, it is generally time to start thinking about and working on supper. School child goes off to play with his brothers in the other room, while I am in the kitchen making supper. He is now ready to let out all of this pent-up energy, because he has only had 15-20 minutes of recess, you know -- oh, and he is MISSING recess half the time because he is slower at doing his work and has to stay in and catch up his work before he can go out. So, oldest brother now has two younger brothers completely wound up, wrestling, jumping off furniture, etc. while I am in the kitchen TRYING to come up with supper.

We finally eat. They are ready to play some more, but -- NOPE. Sorry! It's off to bed so we can get up at 6:30 and do it all again!

:

Oh yeah, did I mention that most evenings I have no help either?

So you may be reading this and thinking, how is this woman going to homeschool? Well, I will. I will once again have control over our days and our time, instead of being a slave to the public school schedule. And my son will be a much happier, more calm child, when he has been freed of all this pressure and time constraints also.
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#78 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:02 PM
 
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I am not patient enough to be a parent and yet here I am!

It comes down to priorities and sacrifice, IMO. If HS is not a priority then just say that, ykwim? If it's something you want to do and you're touting "impatience" then really what you are saying is you aren't willing to work on it. Is that bad? I don't really care to think on it because I know what it means for ME and MINE and that's all that matters.

I do admit though that IRL when I hear this excuse it is from parents who would just rather not have to deal with their kids and that is very very sad to me. I mean heck there are days I don't want to deal with mine but what does that mean to them? Again it comes down to sacrafice and thinking outside yourself- that's parenting in general though.

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#79 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread - I just wanted to say that I think alot of times when people say that they are thinking of homework headaches that many families go through. Fighting with a tired kid who has been cooped up in a school all day is not the same as homeschooling. But I think that is what many people think of - one big long homework session.

I also think it is sometimes code for - I want more personal time. Which I totally understand, but I feel my kids will get the best education at home, so I'll do what I have to do. I could say that I don't have the patience for school too - the thought of being snack mom, or going to teacher parent conferences makes me squirm, the thought of spending my evenings helping with homework, the thought of only seeing my kids at the most stressful points of the day (for me) - mornings and evenings... But if I thought that was best, I'd do it.
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#80 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:27 PM
 
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I agree. Ime, if children enjoy school and the people and programming fit, it's not difficult at all. When my older kids were enrolled in school they were very happy and getting them out the door was not an issue. My oldest dd, in particular, was an early riser and was dressed and ready at least an hour before we had to leave. She would be singing and playing and getting ready for her day long before any of the rest of us were up and moving.

The most difficult thing for me was getting three healthy lunches and and snacks ready so early. I ws working then, so I had to be up and out anyway. The couple of years I was home with my youngest and the others were in school were lovely and peaceful. lol Not that I didn't miss the kids, well...ok, 'miss' is not the right word. I didn't actually 'miss' them. I knew they were happy and safe and I enjoyed my time at home with the baby. School was not stressful for us. Or at least not any more than it is to drive around town or doing hsing stuff.

Even drop off and pick up was simple. You get in the carpool line, you drive to the front of the school. Someone is waiting to open and close the car door for you in the morning if the child is too small to do it alone. Some parents get out and open the door and also say hello to the greeter. The head of school or other greeter, shakes your child's hand and the child walks in. You can park and walk in want. In the afternoon, you pull in carpool line; a battalion of teachers are outside in this line, rain, shine or snow, and use walkie talkies to call your child . By the time you get to the entrance, your child is waiting, and a teacher opens your car door and helps the child climb in. (You can park and go inside if you want). Awesome-ness. lol I realizs this is hardly the case for most folks, but it was just another thing that contributed to our good experience.

The early riser is happy as a homeschooler (we started hsing when she was 9), but even at 16, she's up with the birds. If our children had been unhappy or we didn't like/trust the people or programming, it would have been miserable. I never had to push anyone out the door, there were never any tears. If they had been unhappy, we would have become hsers long before we did.
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#81 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I am not patient enough to be a parent and yet here I am!
Oh, that was great!

Mama to DS (10), DS (8), DS (5), DD (3), & DD (6 months).
Lucky Wife to My Techy DH for 11 years.
We stillheart.gif Homebirth, Full-term Breastfeeding,
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#82 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I am not patient enough to be a parent and yet here I am!

It comes down to priorities and sacrifice, IMO. If HS is not a priority then just say that, ykwim? If it's something you want to do and you're touting "impatience" then really what you are saying is you aren't willing to work on it. Is that bad? I don't really care to think on it because I know what it means for ME and MINE and that's all that matters.

I do admit though that IRL when I hear this excuse it is from parents who would just rather not have to deal with their kids and that is very very sad to me. I mean heck there are days I don't want to deal with mine but what does that mean to them? Again it comes down to sacrafice and thinking outside yourself- that's parenting in general though.
I was going to come back and post something similar but I am just going to copy this and give this a :
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#83 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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I do admit though that IRL when I hear this excuse it is from parents who would just rather not have to deal with their kids and that is very very sad to me. I mean heck there are days I don't want to deal with mine but what does that mean to them? Again it comes down to sacrafice and thinking outside yourself- that's parenting in general though.


Yes. I won't say it wasn't nice to have the 8;30-2:30 peace when the older kids were at school. Although I never thought about in terms of 'not having to deal with them' or anything...but I admit, it was lovely to chill alone with the baby for a time.
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#84 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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I recently went through a doubting phase where I was sure I was going to send my kids to school in the fall (they would be attending prek and k) then came back to my original decision.

I am very impatient. Like, supremely. I don't like waiting, for anything, ever. However, I take my time and breathe and if I start to get impatient I sometimes cut the activity until a later point when the kid is ready for it.

Most importantly though, I believe that school would test my patience more. At school they are influenced by their peers to do things that would just annoy me. I've seen it with friends over school breaks. They spend about half of the break trying to get their children out of their bad habits. That I would have little patience for.

Mama to two boys and a girl.
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#85 of 158 Old 05-01-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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Yes. I won't say it wasn't nice to have the 8;30-2:30 peace when the older kids were at school. Although I never thought about in terms of 'not having to deal with them' or anything...but I admit, it was lovely to chill alone with the baby for a time.
Heck! I'm chilling alone right now (DH took the kids to the store with him and my mother) and I LOVE it! So yeah I feel ya.

Honestly what it comes down to for me is again priorities in that PS scares the crap out of me and I am incredibly uncomfortable with sending my littles there (especially when they are so little). But hey if you don't feel the way I do I can see it not being a priority.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#86 of 158 Old 05-02-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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Heck! I'm chilling alone right now (DH took the kids to the store with him and my mother) and I LOVE it! So yeah I feel ya.

Honestly what it comes down to for me is again priorities in that PS scares the crap out of me and I am incredibly uncomfortable with sending my littles there (especially when they are so little). But hey if you don't feel the way I do I can see it not being a priority.
Fear wasn't an issue here. We really had a lovely situation.
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#87 of 158 Old 05-02-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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I think people think they have to sit at a table for 6 1/2 hours with their kid 5 days a week to effectively homeschool, which is obviously not the case.

My son is only 4 1/2, but he's doing early kindergarten level stuff. I spend maybe 1/2 hour 3 days a week actually "schooling" him. The rest of his education is coming from real-life stuff we do. I just keep it in the back of my mind that I can use everyday stuff as "lessons".

I know as he gets older I'll have to devote more time to it, but it's hardly putting a strain on me. I really enjoy being able to teach him and watch him soak it all up and blossom into such an intelligent little kid.

As far as having kids in the house all day, every day...meh...they've been in my house since they were born. I'm not missing the break I never had that school provides. Now if you have 3 little ones at home and your 3 older ones have been at school, it would be quite a leap to bring the 3 older ones home...it would be a test of patience. But people have their kids home in the summer and manage it. I don't know. I think parenting in general is a test of patience. Educating my kids is just part of that.
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#88 of 158 Old 05-02-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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For me, it wasn't easier to have my older son in school, because my little one is home most of the time (preschool 2 mornings a week). But I am positive that it would be easier on me if they were both in school. It's looking like our littlest will keep going to school once he hits kindergarten, and our oldest will keep homeschooling. I'd rather they were both in school than have to do the whole school thing (mornings, especially) with one and homeschool the other. My oldest son is much more committed to homeschooling than I am. It does try my patience and when it gets especially hard, I threaten to send him to school.
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#89 of 158 Old 05-02-2009, 03:09 PM
 
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When I hear, "you must be so patient" or "that must take a lot of patience"
I usually laugh and tell them. "That's just a myth we, homeschoolers like to perpetuate so we look good"
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandgeek
I think people think they have to sit at a table for 6 1/2 hours with their kid 5 days a week to effectively homeschool, which is obviously not the case.
my kids would definitely be in a school if that was required of me. I'd get burnt out really quick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil
I am not patient enough to be a parent and yet here I am!
oh good one!

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#90 of 158 Old 05-03-2009, 04:48 PM
 
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I have to admit that when I hear someone say it, the only thing I hear is "I would not want to spend that much time with my children", and it makes me glad that I do. But I do think PS sucks, so I admit to being totally biased. So they can judge me and I can judge them, really what difference does it make- I only care about my kids.

because of this I have been much more positive when people ask me why I am doing it. I am more apt to say "because I really want to" or "its the lifestyle I want my family to have" that sort of thing. Because its totally true, has nothing to do with why anyone else chooses one or the other, and is totally neutral on the pros and cons of homeschooling.

:Retro Mommy to Viv 5/14/04 and my little Bam-Bam Hank 5/16/08 and wife to my electric and electrician hubby Justin: Proud Vegetarian Homeschooling Hippie Freaks!::
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