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#31 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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I know you gave other examples, but I just wanted to mention that a home daycare is a person's JOB. I can't be a slob at work, either.
It was just a way of explaining how cleanliness doesn't have to detract for attention and quality time, that it's not one or the other.
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#32 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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My whole family loves making messes together and we love cleaning up together too. We spend our entire day together and I'm engaged and present during the day, that's my job. It doesn't mean my house has to be a mess though, we love taking care of our house. No one has chores, we just help each other out.

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#33 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jenelle View Post
Nope, that was not how my post was intended at all. I am sorry if something I said has made you feel defensive, but I don't come here to put others down.
I'm sorry if my knee jerk was harsh. I thought of that after I posted and went to bed.

Fwiw, my place is not in great shape right now I have a three year old and a new puppy, and they are partners in crime. I'm also in my first trimester of pregnancy and bushed. I'm not feeling bad about myself because things are more haphazard and disorganzed, but I do find it frustrating to deal with. Things are not where they go when I try to find them, things aren't where they go and I think we're out and buy duplicated, things are left out and therefore destroyed by puppy teeth. Oh, and then we had a flood in part of our house a couple of weeks ago. Cleaning up after a flood when the room is already a mess? Ugh. I was picking up the most random dripping things that just didn't belong in there on the floor or under the bed anyway.
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#34 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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That doesn't seem to just be saying, "Be comfy with the state of your house!" It says TO ME, "I'm not cleaning because I'm with my kids- I'm doing things that matter instead of someone with a cleaner house."
That says the same thing to me when I read it, but yeah I have to say I agree. . . . I believe kids should be #1 and anyone who has an immaculte house probably is spending a significant amount of time away from enjoying and being with their kids. I think the kids will suffer. . . and for another PP my kids will *die*if I make them clean in 5 minute clean up times, they'd rather be spending it with me doing fun stuff I don't complain, I love being with my kids and cleaning should not be a priority

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#35 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 09:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by naturalmamaof1 View Post
That says the same thing to me when I read it, but yeah I have to say I agree. . . . I believe kids should be #1 and anyone who has an immaculte house probably is spending a significant amount of time away from enjoying and being with their kids. I think the kids will suffer. . . and for another PP my kids will *die*if I make them clean in 5 minute clean up times, they'd rather be spending it with me doing fun stuff I don't complain, I love being with my kids and cleaning should not be a priority
LOL, okay then.

Must be strange to do NOTHING but play with your kids, or stare at them when they sleep. How do you manage to post while playing with them constantly?

I do think that a certain level of cleanliness, and passing on good habits to the kids, Should be a priority, one of the many parenting responsibilities.

My kids are not neat freaks, but they do get a kick out things sometimes, like seeing a child sized mop. Since they asked when I was filling the bucket, I let them make a wet mess of the floor while they "mopped," and then within five minutes, they were tired of it, and went off to their room to play. So then I did a real mopping job, and walked around with towels on my feet to dry it up. They went to play with toys on their own, and children often do decide to just go play and don't require direct interaction every moment. I would have thought it silly to not finish the job because I should have been playing with them instead, should have followed them to their room and asked for a doll to join them. Or maybe if I were a more interesting and attentive mother, they wouldn't have gone to play in their room, and would be stuck by my side?
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#36 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 11:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by umbrella View Post
LOL, okay then.

Must be strange to do NOTHING but play with your kids, or stare at them when they sleep. How do you manage to post while playing with them constantly?

I do think that a certain level of cleanliness, and passing on good habits to the kids, Should be a priority, one of the many parenting responsibilities.
to the first part.
and
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/49...g-nothing.html

ITA with the second part. I mentioned before that I wished my mom had taught me to clean up after myself as I go about my day, it is harder to learn as an adult.

I was also thinking, I am certain that some people are FAR more efficient cleaners than others. I have watched friends on occasion do small cleaning tasks while we chat, and- some people are REALLY slow, or so sloppy while they wash dishes, that they make a MESS of the sink, leaving more work to do, etc. So- I know that keeping things clean is harder for some people than others.

When my house is a mess, it is generally because I am on here or facebook too much, or simply being lazy. That is not the case for everyone, but- it is for me.

Also- there are times and seasons, IME. When I have a newborn- I certainly can't keep things as tidy. A colicky infant, or sick older child makes it very hard too. So- take into account what you *honestly* could do if you tried, and work with that

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#37 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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well I have 3 boys and 3 dogs (2 min schnauzers and 1 boxer). Everyone is in and out of the house all day long and even though 2 of the dogs don't shed they have velcro hair that picks up the outside and brings it in. My kids also have a tendency to spill lemonade on the floor once a day (why it can't be water they spill I will never understand) so I usually vacuum and mop once a day. I generally do it in the evenings when the kids are getting ready for bed or just in bed so that we start the new day with a clean floor. I try to keep the cabinets picked up because that's what drives me nuts is "crap" all over the counters instead of where it goes. The kids pick up their toys and stuff every night before bed so that there is a tidy house for the next day. We try to keep things picked up as we go during the day but I don't go crazy about it because it's more likely that they will be getting it back out to play with at some point. There are moments when I start chucking stuff to make more room in a closet or cabinet to get things out of the floor or off the cabinet. I can't stand clutter, I like for everything to have a place that is put away and not in sight. I am not obssesively clean but with 3 boys and 3 dogs things can get dirty in a hurry.

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#38 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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I think in part it is your children's ages.

My dd is 9 now and how clean the house is varies. Right now the main floor looks good. It looks like people live here but you can sit on chairs, the horizontal surfaces are clear, the floor is clean, the cupboards are full of clean dishes. We have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Dd does crafts at her craft table.

I'm doing better than when dd was 2 or 4 years. It is easier to keep activities separate from where people walk in. We also have a bigger space and designated places to put things away.

Dd helps out around the house sometimes too.

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#39 of 48 Old 06-13-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KD's Momma View Post
The kids pick up their toys and stuff every night before bed so that there is a tidy house for the next day.
Something that is always on my mind as we do this (and esp. on the nights we don't!) is DH's stories about fire calls where they houses are really messy, even just clothes/books/toys on the floors, and how much harder it is for them(the FD) to do what they need to do, and search for people, etc. I often remind my kids, "If the fireman ever needed to come in, we don't want them tripping trying to get to you, or distracted by toys in the way, etc."

of course, we have like 20 bazillion smoke detectors everywhere, so- the chances of a fire we don't get out for are fairly small
(interesting side note, my firefox spell check feels that bazillion is a word, yet, somehow- neither homeschool, nor firefox: are. Oh- wait- apparently, if you capitalize Firefox, you are ok )

Anywho..............

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#40 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 12:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by umbrella View Post
I do think that a certain level of cleanliness, and passing on good habits to the kids should be a priority, one of the many parenting responsibilities.
i really agree.

i don't give my children chores, but we work as a family and help each other out. if i'm cooking, cleaning, painting, gardening, etc. my kids are with me and participating/helping. working as a family allows my kids to experience 3 things imo... 1) often it's fun, and they are enjoying the task at hand 2) they are learning through doing 3) they are contributing

likewise, even when they make huge messes in their rooms, i contribute and help them clean-up. there are 4 people in my home, and all of us are capable of throwing in a helping hand. it lightens the workload for everyone, plus i really feel it bonds us as a family as well.

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#41 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Peppermint View Post
Something that is always on my mind as we do this (and esp. on the nights we don't!) is DH's stories about fire calls where they houses are really messy, even just clothes/books/toys on the floors, and how much harder it is for them(the FD) to do what they need to do, and search for people, etc. I often remind my kids, "If the fireman ever needed to come in, we don't want them tripping trying to get to you, or distracted by toys in the way, etc."

of course, we have like 20 bazillion smoke detectors everywhere, so- the chances of a fire we don't get out for are fairly small
(interesting side note, my firefox spell check feels that bazillion is a word, yet, somehow- neither homeschool, nor firefox: are. Oh- wait- apparently, if you capitalize Firefox, you are ok )

Anywho..............
Wow, I've never thought of that. Sounds like a good way to stay motivated.

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#42 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 04:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by naturalmamaof1 View Post
That says the same thing to me when I read it, but yeah I have to say I agree. . . . I believe kids should be #1 and anyone who has an immaculate house probably is spending a significant amount of time away from enjoying and being with their kids. I think the kids will suffer. . . and for another PP my kids will *die*if I make them clean in 5 minute clean up times, they'd rather be spending it with me doing fun stuff I don't complain, I love being with my kids and cleaning should not be a priority
Oh, my!

Let me introduce you to my favorite resources: www.forsmallhands.com and Teach Me To Do It Myself! (book). I often have toddlers and preschoolers over and my house is always presentable because the rules and tools are there. My second two favorite resources? Pippi Longstocking and Mrs. Pigglewiggle. How can cleaning not be fun when presented in such a way?:
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#43 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 10:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by umbrella View Post
LOL, okay then.

Must be strange to do NOTHING but play with your kids, or stare at them when they sleep. How do you manage to post while playing with them constantly?

I do think that a certain level of cleanliness, and passing on good habits to the kids, Should be a priority, one of the many parenting responsibilities.

My kids are not neat freaks, but they do get a kick out things sometimes, like seeing a child sized mop. Since they asked when I was filling the bucket, I let them make a wet mess of the floor while they "mopped," and then within five minutes, they were tired of it, and went off to their room to play. So then I did a real mopping job, and walked around with towels on my feet to dry it up. They went to play with toys on their own, and children often do decide to just go play and don't require direct interaction every moment. I would have thought it silly to not finish the job because I should have been playing with them instead, should have followed them to their room and asked for a doll to join them. Or maybe if I were a more interesting and attentive mother, they wouldn't have gone to play in their room, and would be stuck by my side?


Sorry, I'm totally not picking on you (or anyone for that matter) and no I do not play with my kids all day long either. I just ment cleaning is not on our priority list but that spending time doing fun, meaningful, eduacational things are. And yes cleaning can be all of those things and don't get me wrong we do clean. And have fun doing it, it's just not this huge deal every day kind of thing. So yes, my house is a mess and I rarely clean it (or clean it for *show house* quality) but do make an effort to make it look *showey* when we have guests/parties/playdates. Also I should add my LO are only 3 and 6mo so I think I am in the thick of it and I'm sure it will be easier to clean when they are older

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#44 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 10:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by naturalmamaof1 View Post
Also I should add my LO are only 3 and 6mo so I think I am in the thick of it and I'm sure it will be easier to clean when they are older
It will certainly get easier as they get older. I know when my first two were little, my house was a mess, and only got cleaned up for people coming over. Part of that was that it was hard to keep it clean while taking care of two young kids (who do require more parent-involvement), but part was because I didn't value it enough yet, or really know how, ykwim? As my kids got older, I realized that if I didn't get some kind of cleaning routine, I would end up teaching them to keep a messy house and then go through freakish clean-up periods before people come over, or major embarrassment when people showed up unexpected, etc. So- I really got better in order to teach my kids better skills than I was taught.

I find we have a more peaceful home when we work to keep it reasonably picked up/clean (we are far from clean freaks though ).

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#45 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 11:43 AM
 
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This is just how *I* feel about cleaning and not a judgement on others..that's my disclaimer.

I would go crazy if I tried to keep a constantly tidy house. I know because I've tried. It has more to do with my tendency toward becoming obsessively focused then anything else, but when try to *keep up* with the clutter in a fly lady sort of way it takes over my life. Seriously. I yell at the kids for making messes after "I just cleaned that up!" and begin to freak out at every peice of paper on the floor or glass left in the living room. None of us want to live like that. Plus, doing a little every day (Ie throwing a load of laundry in every day or doing 15 minutes of cleaning at a time) makes me feel like I never really get anything completely done. *I* feel like I constantly have cleaning to do and it makes me unhappy and irritable

I am a binge cleaner. I do dishes once a day, laundry once a week, vacuum twice a week, clean the floors once a week unless there's a big juice spill or something. It works for me. It leaves me the illusion that the job gets *done* in some meaningful way (as opposed to being something I have to work at constantly, never really making headway) and allows me to let go in between. Our house isn't in a constant state of filth and I am still sane and not a screaming harpy

So for us I think it's less about spending time cleaning that could be used to do something else and more about my state of mind (and thus everyone else's LOL!).
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#46 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's interesting to hear what others think about this...never knew cleaning house was such a heated subject! I would say that we are on the cleaner side of the spectrum, I guess it's just 'juvenile clean'. Which means there are crafts drying on the counter, books on the couch from when we read, a lego creation on the playroom floor I CANNOT clean up because dd will flip out.


Sigh. I know I'm being unreasonable. I know that spending time with the kids doing fun things and not worrying about the little messes is better for them, I know my house isn't dirty or even all that messy...I just love those beautiful model home houses and secretly wish I could have that here. We don't have nice furnishing or decorations, because well, one we don't have the money, but also because I don't want to be a freak about the kids breaking or messing them up. But my friends do, and somehow their kids don't break or mess anything up! I do feel very uptight when I go to their houses, because my kids are just so active that I worry about them knocking stuff over or what have you. How do they have breakable things down low with toddlers/preschoolers???


Part of the problem is that my kids move FAST. So, it takes 5-10 minutes to set dd1 up with a craft, then I'm fighting with dd2 to stop climbing up on the table to see what dd1 is doing. DD1 finishes her thing in 5 minutes, and moves on to the next thing. Yes she helps me to clean up, but most of the supplies are out of her reach, so I do have to put those back. In the 5 minutes it takes for me to put that stuff back, dd2 has completely dismantled another room! I have tried to make things as simple as possible, for both dd1 and myself. Making 'spots' for everything, putting little pieces together in their own boxes, ect. Messy things or things with a million pieces are put in a closet, to minimize on the 'grab and dump' play.

I'm wondering, what 'systems' you all have in place that you have found to really help? Here is what we have so far, maybe you could suggest some others?

-eating happens on the table/high chair.
-dd1 takes her plate and cup directly to the counter after eating.
-crafts/messy things are put in a closet, out of reach, so that I keep track or what has come out.
-paint and playdoh happen outside on the patio table.
-we decluttered a TON recently, but maybe I can go through the stuff again and get rid of even more stuff.
-things with little parts and pieces are put into tupperware container on a shelf in the closet, kids rarely open the closet unless I help them.


Anything else? Thanks ladies!
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#47 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 02:31 PM
 
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How do they have breakable things down low with toddlers/preschoolers???
eh. don't let that fool you. my kids know the rules in *our* own home & know what they can touch or play with here. but when they went to someone else's house (especially when they were toddlers and preschool age), they found many things tempting to touch. it was new and exciting for them. i suspect your friends children are the same way. perhaps their toddlers know the rules in *their* home, but when they visit at other places, they are tempted to touch... and hold ...and look ... just like our kids

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#48 of 48 Old 06-14-2009, 03:32 PM
 
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To me, there's a huge difference between messy and dirty.
We have a cleaning lady that comes once every week and cleans all the floors, the bathrooms and the kitchen. She dusts too, change our beds every 2. week, and puts the laundry up if there's any that needs to be put up, and folds whatever's hanging there or in the baskets.
(Yes, I do love her. )
So, it's always clean here even if we do very little cleaning ourselves. I would just rather spend time with the kids than clean.

And I don't call toys or books messy. Books and toys around is more evidence that someone actually lives here, and I like that. I thrive with it. That's mostly what's "messy" here, but I don't view it as mess. (Or rather, we don't.)
The kids have to pick up after themselves, and when everybody does that, it stays pretty good and tidy.
And let's face it, in our home with thousands of books, there will always be books around. They are in most rooms, but they do have shelves etc. But I love it, that they are there.
It's never so that I can't let people in if they come as a surprise. (My friend once told me she couldn't, she's be to ashamed.)

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