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-   -   Anyone have special needs kids and put older kids in public/private school to help special child? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/50-learning-home-beyond/1131473-anyone-have-special-needs-kids-put-older-kids-public-private-school-help-special-child.html)

rahrahgobg 09-01-2009 06:17 PM

I have a 3YO who is speech delayed. Understands everything, just doesn't speak well. I also have a 21 month old that says maybe 30ish words. My husband thinks my 21 month old has the same problem as my 3YO. She doesn't. He has apraxia of many types - it's getting better, but she doesn't have any of those signs. She also doesn't lose words like he did. I know children develop speech at many stages. But he thinks I should put my 5YO in public school once we move so I can concentrate on my younger two. We will be living in a hotel during the week and at home on the weekend until our house sells. SO he would want me to put my 5YO in public school once our house sells and we are settled into our next one...which could be totally mid-year in school. Which I'm not a fan of that (putting child in school mid-year).

Yes, my 3YO gets speech and occupational therapy services. I'm working on getting him services at the public school system down there while living in the hotel. Hoping that isn't an issue since it's a temporary address.

I really don't want to put my oldest in public school, and my husband said that once the two don't need as much attention he is fine with me continuing homeschooling.

So I want to hear from those of you who have done it and not felt like you have failed one child during your process.

Thanks.

christinar 09-01-2009 09:59 PM

That sounds like a really challenging situation! The one thing I can add from personal experience is that my younger child has benefited enormously from hearing me work with my older child. Both in motivating him to try new things, and exposure to the material etc. I don't know how this comes into play with your situation, but there might be benefits for the younger 2 with continuing homeschooling the 5yo...

Momma Aimee 09-01-2009 11:39 PM

for what little it is worth, my oldest is 3.75 -- will be 4 in Nov. He is JUST NOW even ATTEMPTING to speak.

but

here is the thing, there is only so much you can do, yk?

Does DH feel that all you time going to appts for the non-speaking 3 yo will effect HS in a bad way? What attention, specifically, does your Dh feel the younger two need (besides jsut their ages ) that takes away from HS?

I mean, Theo has a number of SN, but they don't take time, yk? we read, we talk, we sing, yes a conservation takes longer, yes i try to get him restate or to make a better sound or whatever ... but we do not drill speech all day ... I don't see how his speech care -- or even all his SN -- would effect us HS another chilld. The ONLY factor i can see is if DH is worried baout missing School time, or disrupting school time for a ton of appts ....and if he is worried that the 5yo is just one more child for you to keep track of at St and running around ...

??

have you had the younger child assessed via EI so that your DH can be reassured that there are not the same issues again?

Our 22 month old had NO WORDS, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, but we re havig him assessed, and really i do not think he will have all the isses Theo has.

Aimee

sbgrace 09-02-2009 01:10 PM

I have a child on the autism spectrum and with some other special needs. I did consider sending his brother to school so I could provide dedicated attention to working with him. I couldn't work it out in my head originally because they are the same age and both would feel they were missing out. They wouldn't understand and I just couldn't do it. You're in a different circumstance because of age differences. That said, it's worked out fine to have both of them here. I can still do what I need to with my spectrum kid. It's easier as the boys are older..particularly my typical kid is better able to wait while I work with his brother compared to just a year ago. I would think with apraxia you're running to therapy a lot? You could "school" in the waiting room for example.

Another thing to consider is that your oldest is your typical child and K really takes minimal time to "teach" if you even do it formally at all. So I don't think teaching would be the issue. Is your oldest is still very consuming time or attention wise? Is it difficult right now to balance the oldest with the needs of the youngest? Or is the fear that the oldest is getting lost in the needs of the younger kids? Does that happen a lot?

I don't think there are easy answers to these issues but I hope you and hubby can come to an agreement you both feel good about.

rahrahgobg 09-02-2009 09:39 PM

My 5YO is easy. I do somewhat structured lessons and it takes 2-3 hours a day. My husband thinks teaching him is taking away time I could be spending with the younger 2. I don't really think my 21 month old has issues. I counted her words yesterday and she said about 25. She was repeating a few more things today. She was playing with a train and saying 'choo choo'. I just think she hasn't gotten her word explosion yet, but I think it's coming. She said a lot of new words yesterday when I asked her to repeat them. An ECI evaluation is an option, but I want to give her a few more months. My 3YO didn't say anything at 22 months. Really when I do anything with him, I try to get him to repeat my words, or say a word -reinforcing words all the time - not necessarily structured, just based on what we are doing. I got a preschool idea book to do some things with my 2 younger ones. Just more arts/crafts, books to go with the ideas. Nothing formal.

My 3YO appointment schedule will be changing since we are moving. We are living in limbo right now. We are trying to sell our house and are living in a hotel during the week starting next week. It's a 1-bedroom suite (bedroom has a door). I'd rather be in a hotel with my husband during the week than at home by myself with no help. Plus there is more to do in Houston than where we live. Lots more homeschool things to do. I am trying to get services for him through the school system, and depending on how that goes (meaning how many services they give me) will depend on how many other appointments I have for him outside of that.

Yesterday I did lessons with my 5YO and did a circle time reading, singing, movement with all of them - then had them color. Then I did lessons with my oldest (Phonics & Math) and had them play with playdough while my oldest did an art drawing related to a lesson. This is what I was planning on doing - lots of fine motor activities with the two younger ones. The hotel will throw me a loop, but we will make a routine and survive. I really think it will be easy, and having him there and them seeing him do things, in my mind, I think it is a plus for the younger two. My husband just thinks I can't do it all by myself. I think otherwise.

Thanks for your responses.

Momma Aimee 09-02-2009 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rahrahgobg View Post
My 5YO is easy. I do somewhat structured lessons and it takes 2-3 hours a day. My husband thinks teaching him is taking away time I could be spending with the younger 2. I don't really think my 21 month old has issues. I counted her words yesterday and she said about 25. She was repeating a few more things today. She was playing with a train and saying 'choo choo'. I just think she hasn't gotten her word explosion yet, but I think it's coming. She said a lot of new words yesterday when I asked her to repeat them. An ECI evaluation is an option, but I want to give her a few more months. My 3YO didn't say anything at 22 months. Really when I do anything with him, I try to get him to repeat my words, or say a word -reinforcing words all the time - not necessarily structured, just based on what we are doing. I got a preschool idea book to do some things with my 2 younger ones. Just more arts/crafts, books to go with the ideas. Nothing formal.

this is what i expected, both my boys are more "SN" in speech than your two lo and there is not much i can do either -- it is not a fomral dilling thing, yk?


My 3YO appointment schedule will be changing since we are moving. We are living in limbo right now. We are trying to sell our house and are living in a hotel during the week starting next week. It's a 1-bedroom suite (bedroom has a door). I'd rather be in a hotel with my husband during the week than at home by myself with no help. Plus there is more to do in Houston than where we live. Lots more homeschool things to do. I am trying to get services for him through the school system, and depending on how that goes (meaning how many services they give me) will depend on how many other appointments I have for him outside of that.

Yesterday I did lessons with my 5YO and did a circle time reading, singing, movement with all of them - then had them color. Then I did lessons with my oldest (Phonics & Math) and had them play with playdough while my oldest did an art drawing related to a lesson. This is what I was planning on doing - lots of fine motor activities with the two younger ones. The hotel will throw me a loop, but we will make a routine and survive. I really think it will be easy, and having him there and them seeing him do things, in my mind, I think it is a plus for the younger two. My husband just thinks I can't do it all by myself. I think otherwise.

Thanks for your responses.
WOW your LO give you more time to work with your older child than i would expect -- i wish my two little ones would do what yours do (ie focuse and stay at something over 2.5 minutes) even with me WITH them.

Sounds like things are going great.

The onlyt thing i would suggest is to get DH to be SPECIFC ... what does he think sending the older boy to school will "change" -- excately.

Sounds good

Aimee


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