How much time does your homeschooled/unschooled 9 year old spend on the computer? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Really the title says it all. It feels like the amount of time my just turned 9 year old spends/wants to spend on the computer is excessive. (She's mostly watching Nick stuff.)

I'm looking for a frame of reference....
chfriend is offline  
#2 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 07:01 PM
 
Dakota's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 1,821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Unless I have some outside activity planned to get him out of the house, my 7 year old will spend hours each day the his computer. I have to threaten him to get him away from it. Right now he has lost all computer and tv for two weeks because of bad behavior. He is in serious withdrawal because of it. I think when he gets computer back he is going to be limited severely. I think he is totally addicted to electronics.

Kathi

:::Mom to 5 adult children and 8 year old, Dakota "Why do they call it homeschool, we're never at home?"
Dakota's Mom is offline  
#3 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 07:13 PM
 
jessicaSAR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Lost in the Woods
Posts: 1,758
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
None. We only have one computer, and my 8 1/2 yo dd only uses it for Latin vocabulary.

My 5yo dd likes to do starfall occasionally, but that is on the order of about 1-2 hours per month.
jessicaSAR is offline  
#4 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 08:13 PM
 
FreeRangeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8.5 year old has about 30 min every week or two.


 

FreeRangeMama is offline  
#5 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 08:32 PM
 
CariOfOz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: the Lounge
Posts: 4,674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have screen abuse issues here... mainly the computer, but my almost 8yo likes tv too. He will sneak on the computer in the early early mornings if they aren't logged off.. and if that happens he actually blames US because we didn't lock them. The logic of that one is staggering eh?

Generally I let him have about one hour a day, depending on his behavior. Mainly because after computer time he has a bit of an attitude problem and if he is *already* being obnoxious, I'm not going to feed that with the computer & make it worse for the rest of us!

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
CariOfOz is offline  
#6 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 09:29 PM
 
sapientia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 2,224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
right now next to none because we are having computer issues. When it is fixed I'll let him have a little time every day to do some school related stuff.

Wife, mom to 6 great kids!...avid crafter, music lover,  reader, gardener!

 

homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif novaxnocirc.gif homebirth.jpg

 

sapientia is offline  
#7 of 27 Old 10-28-2009, 11:47 PM
 
mrs*kewpie*pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
30 minutes to an hour here.
mrs*kewpie*pie is offline  
#8 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 05:30 AM
 
LilyGrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs*kewpie*pie View Post
30 minutes to an hour here.
Same here. Occasionally slightly more if he's researching something or using one of the links I have posted in his updated-yearly favorites file: typing, geography, chem help, etc. He does spend about 10 min a day on the Rosetta Stone for school, too.
LilyGrace is offline  
#9 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 06:39 AM
 
Needle in the Hay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son is 8, but I thought I'd still answer...

I don't have an hour amount for you, I don't keep track (though I'm pretty sure he spends more hours playing with legos than on the computer) and it also varies from day to day. On many weekends we are in the mountains and he doesn't play on the computer at all, though he still does watch some TV (we don't have TV reception at home so one of the things he likes about going up in the mnts for the weekend is that he gets to watch Sat and Sun morning cartoons!), but we are also up there for hiking or skiing.

During the week, especially days that we spend mostly at home, he will play on the computer off and on, some days quite a bit. He doesn't have any restrictions on it (though he doesn't stay up at night to play while we sleep) but it doesn't seem excessive to me. I think one reason is because he comes up here to play what he wants to play and when he's done, he's done. He doesn't linger just looking for anything to do to still keep playing on the computer, he knows he can come back when he wants. I also think he learns from his playing and I don't want to control his learning and leisure time. I don't want that dynamic in our relationship.


I would think that in your DD's case there is just something really appealing about Nick stuff (do you mean the cartoons?) right now. In your place, I would let her get her fill of it, as long as she seems OK doing that (such as, she's not declining offers to do something else to watch and then later is upset that she missed out on the other things). I do think if you really feel worried about it there's no reason you couldn't talk to her about it and find out how she feels about it and maybe even get some insight into what she's getting out of it.
Needle in the Hay is offline  
#10 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 08:47 AM
 
darcytrue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: here and there
Posts: 2,653
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8 y o is on there a lot these days. I just had a baby and she gets on several sites, nick jr, club penguin, starfall, disney playhouse. She only gets on in the mornings early and in the evenings before bed. During the day I try hard to get her interested in other things if we aren't doing school or going some place. I'm okay with it because I know it will pass.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
darcytrue is offline  
#11 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 10:36 AM
 
elizawill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: right here
Posts: 5,321
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my dd is only 8, but she spends 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours most days we are home. she loves games though...webkinz, moshimonster, and games2girls. my kids will sometimes watch a netflix movie on the computer...but that's maybe once every week or two.

homeschooling mama to DD 10 & DS 7 blogging.jpg

elizawill is offline  
#12 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Needle in the Hay View Post
My son is 8, but I thought I'd still answer...

I would think that in your DD's case there is just something really appealing about Nick stuff (do you mean the cartoons?) right now. In your place, I would let her get her fill of it, as long as she seems OK doing that (such as, she's not declining offers to do something else to watch and then later is upset that she missed out on the other things). I do think if you really feel worried about it there's no reason you couldn't talk to her about it and find out how she feels about it and maybe even get some insight into what she's getting out of it.
Well, she just turned 9 last week, so 8's just as good....

Yeah, the thing is that she gets super upset that she isn't getting things done, but completely loses track of the time as she watches episode after episode of i,carly or the suite life of zach and cody on Netflix.

We are talking about it. It's really helpful to hear other people's situations as we try to get this sorted out.

I think what she's getting out of it is anxiety avoidance....
chfriend is offline  
#13 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 05:45 PM
 
water's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 692
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8yo spends 15min-30 min per day online, playing games. We don't do any computer-based learning stuff, so that's just for fun. Also we might watch a movie on DVD once or twice a week.

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
water is offline  
#14 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 05:56 PM
 
water's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 692
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*oops

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
water is offline  
#15 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 07:50 PM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chfriend View Post
Yeah, the thing is that she gets super upset that she isn't getting things done, but completely loses track of the time as she watches episode after episode of i,carly or the suite life of zach and cody on Netflix.

....
WAIT. So...when you say "computer time", you are actually talking about TV time???
Maybe it doesn't matter to anyone else, but to me, if what you are doing on the puter is watching tv shows, then that counts as "TV" time, NOT "computer" time. I would make a distinction, if ti were me.

We actually don't limit much here, to be honest. It more a natural limitation because there are only so many computers versus many more people. Each older boy 12-16, probably gets a couple hours, and dd, 5, gets an hour or two as well. The boys play online games and stuff, dd goes to pbskids.org, nickjr, starfall, etc.

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
#16 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
bobandjess...we don't have cable...Can you tell me a little more about the distinction you would make?
chfriend is offline  
#17 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 08:23 PM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chfriend View Post
bobandjess...we don't have cable...Can you tell me a little more about the distinction you would make?
I guess it was just my own personal definition of "computer time".
While I understand that watcing TV on your computer is the new thing to do, and that is FINE, i guess I consider working/playing on the computer to be different that watchign Tv on the computer. One is computer time, one is watchign tv time.
To me, watching tv is..watching tv. whether or not that happens on a computer screen via hulu or netflix, etc or on a regular television via public airwaves, satellite, or cable. TV is TV. Computer is computer. Time spent on the computer WATCHING TV would count as "tv time", NOT "computer time" in my house.

"Computer" time is time spent on the computer doing computer activities. Whcih might be online games, CDrom games, school work, research, we even allow the older kids to do stuff like facebook a little bit.
"TV" time is spent watching tv...be it tv programs, DVD, VHS, etc. And regardless of WHERE said program is watched, be it on a television set, or on the computer.

I understand this won't be how everyone feels, which is fine, I was just stating my opinion. I limit tv watching much more than computer time.

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
#18 of 27 Old 10-29-2009, 11:21 PM
 
FreeRangeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
I guess it was just my own personal definition of "computer time".
While I understand that watcing TV on your computer is the new thing to do, and that is FINE, i guess I consider working/playing on the computer to be different that watchign Tv on the computer. One is computer time, one is watchign tv time.
To me, watching tv is..watching tv. whether or not that happens on a computer screen via hulu or netflix, etc or on a regular television via public airwaves, satellite, or cable. TV is TV. Computer is computer. Time spent on the computer WATCHING TV would count as "tv time", NOT "computer time" in my house.

"Computer" time is time spent on the computer doing computer activities. Whcih might be online games, CDrom games, school work, research, we even allow the older kids to do stuff like facebook a little bit.
"TV" time is spent watching tv...be it tv programs, DVD, VHS, etc. And regardless of WHERE said program is watched, be it on a television set, or on the computer.

I understand this won't be how everyone feels, which is fine, I was just stating my opinion. I limit tv watching much more than computer time.
Screen time is screen time though. A mostly passive activity without real interaction with one's environment. Many sites have MORE ads, and it is hardly educational MOST of the time. Clearly it can be educational if it is used for language programs or research, but most of what is done on the computer is just entertainment.

I don't see any difference between one form of screen time and another. But as you said, not everyone will share that view.


 

FreeRangeMama is offline  
#19 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 11:14 AM
 
OhMeOhMy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New England
Posts: 1,548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I let each of my kids have about a half an our (sometimes up to an hour) on the computer if we have nothing else going on. Sometimes I will let them go a little longer if they are looking for something "educational" (ex my 12 yo is obsessed with the Titanic right now and I don't mind him googling facts for that).
OhMeOhMy is offline  
#20 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 12:04 PM
 
4evermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 8,834
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
8yo ds will spends hours most days. I don't keep track, though. If someone comes over or we visit someone, he doesn't use computers or watch tv (unless we are visiting his cousins who have a certain interesting computer game). If he wants to do something else, he does. He doesn't get sucked in and loose track of time or anything.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
4evermom is offline  
#21 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 12:49 PM
 
coleslaw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: finding my way
Posts: 1,987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chfriend View Post
Well, she just turned 9 last week, so 8's just as good....

Yeah, the thing is that she gets super upset that she isn't getting things done, but completely loses track of the time as she watches episode after episode of i,carly or the suite life of zach and cody on Netflix.

We are talking about it. It's really helpful to hear other people's situations as we try to get this sorted out.

I think what she's getting out of it is anxiety avoidance....
My dd will be 9 in a couple of months. She's a screen time abuser/addict too. I have to tell her how much time to spend. I've tried the "letting her go to find her own limit" and it just turned into more and more time on the computer/TV. I also think it is anxiety avoidance in her too. I'm trying to find more acitivites that appeal to her, talk to her about what lots of screen time can do/things she is missing out on, etc. She is also overweight so I try to make the connection (in a kind, gentle, focused on the health aspect way). Nothing is helping to get her to follow thoruhg and find other things to do unless I log off the computer and tell her specifically no Tv or computer. And then I still get requests. I'm so frustrated, but I also have a 3yo and I admit to using the TV and computer as a babysitter for her during those many tough times we had over the past 3 years.

I'm still working on it, but she has her webkins to "take care of" and her build-a-bears, etc. Sigh, I feel that I just can't compete with all of that instant gratification. But I'm still wroking on it.
coleslaw is offline  
#22 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 01:10 PM
 
LilyGrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Much as I hate to do it, we're thinking of going to a token system so ds (10yo) can keep track of his screen time and allot it how he sees fit. We're thinking 6 tokens worth 1/2h each, more given if the week is particularly rainy/icky or there's a holiday.

It just feels so much like payment to me, but I can't think of any other way that will help him not be so.......addicted? He just zones out and doesn't see anything else when he gets on Roblox or watches something.
LilyGrace is offline  
#23 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 01:13 PM
 
confustication's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,336
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Much of my DD's school is on the computer, so she does spend a bit of time doing that, but she's also a screen addict. The only thing I've found to help is setting a timer for 30 minutes when she wants to do something other than school- she doesn't argue with that he way she does with me when I suggest she do something else.

With too much screen time she develops a crummy attitude, so we work on limiting it, however, we are a computer/screen friendly family- so it's probably a substantial amount of time she is allowed to use her computer (in our family, everyone school age and up has their own computer. She does her schoolwork on hers, and I work from home a lot, so 'sharing' isn't a great option.)
confustication is offline  
#24 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 01:54 PM
 
Needle in the Hay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chfriend View Post
Well, she just turned 9 last week, so 8's just as good....

Yeah, the thing is that she gets super upset that she isn't getting things done, but completely loses track of the time as she watches episode after episode of i,carly or the suite life of zach and cody on Netflix.

We are talking about it. It's really helpful to hear other people's situations as we try to get this sorted out.

I think what she's getting out of it is anxiety avoidance....
Ok if she is getting super upset then it seems like there should be some solution you two (or three if your DP is involved in the discussions) could come up with since she is not happy with the way things are (I know you are working on this! I just mean I think talking about this is good and you'll figure this out). If she was happy with the time she spends watching then I'd say leave her alone.

Does she have any ideas -- do you? Would she want you to limit her or set a timer or otherwise be more in control? This is something I would definitely be willing to do if my child wanted it even though it's not something I'm willing to do just because I've decided he is spending too much time watching movies or playing computer games.

Do you know where the anxiety is coming from? Are there ways to lessen it? I would think this is the most important thing but at the same time it seems like you guys could come up with some ideas about the tv shows so that she is not getting super upset about watching. Maybe that would even involve her lowering her expectations of what else she should get done right now so she doesn't feel so bad about it. Sometimes watching to just relax and not think about anything else is a perfectly fine thing to do.
Needle in the Hay is offline  
#25 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 01:58 PM
 
Malva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,705
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our newly 10yo dd spends alot of hours a day at the computer. Maybe 1 to 6?

For awhile, she used it as a tv mostly and watched every single pokemon episode that exists, followed by all these Tokyo Mew Mew episodes (Japanese with English subtitles), Sailor Moon and whatever other anime caught her fancy. I thought it was excessive but really, she never turns down doing something else or going somewhere if it's offered.

And you know, it did develop into cooler stuff: she's taking Japanese lessons through a local brick and mortar Japanese school now.

She recently asked how to use word processing and for the last three weeks, most of her computer time has been spent writing Warrior Cats fanfic, writing story ideas and making this huge list of potential cat names. She spends hours at a time on that.

So in our case, she did get bored with Webkinz, Build-a-Bear and Club Penguin. It just took a while.
Malva is offline  
#26 of 27 Old 10-30-2009, 09:31 PM
 
ohiomommy1122's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,965
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we resrict tv time because I feel its mostly zombie like staring without real engagment of your brain I prefer my kids on the compurt that staring at the tv but out computer time consits of school research stuff and pc games that I have picked out to help engage his brain in some way ( lots of stategy game stuff) iof he wants to play a mindless type click button game that doesnt require thought he is VERY limeted to playing 30 min or so a week but other than that 1-2 hours a day on the comp but making sure he has enough physical activity first and 3-4-hours on weekends he used to be on the comp NON stop we hade to put limits on it

Betsy, Mommy to DS (10) DD (4) DS (2) and DS (1)
ohiomommy1122 is offline  
#27 of 27 Old 10-31-2009, 12:05 PM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,474
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
About half an hour, two or three days a week. We haven't have a computer set up in the house since we moved and that makes it easier not to O.D.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off