Would you let an 8.5yo have their own email account? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-06-2009, 03:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
oceanbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 11,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So my son has been asking for his own email account for a long time. (I am only considering the kidsafe ones, where I can add the only email addresses that are allowed to be used, both incoming and outgoing, and I receive a copy of all messages.) I know he could just use mine, but I would rather him not be messing around with my email account.

I was thinking that this would help him with spelling and grammar, as we struggle with handwriting issues.

Am I crazy? At what age do kids get their own email accounts these days?
oceanbaby is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-06-2009, 03:55 PM
 
ohiomommy1122's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,953
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it s fine my nine year old has one

Betsy, Mommy to DS (10) DD (4) DS (2) and DS (1)
ohiomommy1122 is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 03:58 PM
 
mama_ani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My older children all had email addresses by that age. For the first couple years their accounts were set to forward a copy to my inbox. Now all passwords are saved on the computer but their email is no longer forwarded to me.

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
mama_ani is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 03:59 PM
 
notjustmamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 1,941
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, my daughter has had "her own" account since she was about a year old, but she doesn't really use it yet. All the messages are forwarded to my account.

I think 8.5 is old enough to have an account of his own, especially if it has limited access and you're getting copies of any messages he sends and receives.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
notjustmamie is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 04:01 PM
 
NCmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. I am of the mindset that kids are introduced to too much technology way to soon. My oldest is 14 and I just recently let him have a facebook account strictly monitored by Mom. But my 8 yr old knows he is far from getting all those "nifty" things. I think it is overstimulating for kids and thier lives should be kept as simple as possible for as long as possible.

But that is certainly just one Mom's opinion
NCmama is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 04:06 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I opened email accounts for my daughters when they were about 8 and 9 years old (or maybe they were 9 and 10?) It had just not occurred to me to open accounts for them before that, and I opened up accounts for both of them on the same day. I opened up an account for DS when he was about 5 or 6, once he could read and write well enough to be able to use one.

He doesn't use his account much. Generally, it's to send cute little things back and forth between me and him, or him and his sisters or grandparents. For a while, we emailed back and forth "I love you" then one of us responded "I love you two" then the first replied again "I love you three" etc etc. Sometimes I forward funny emails that were sent to me, if I deem them appropriate (often cool photos of stuff- the jokes are usually over his head.)

None of us have Facebook accounts. Well, technically, I have one, but I hardly use it.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
Ruthla is online now  
Old 11-06-2009, 04:09 PM
 
eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mexico
Posts: 7,440
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS has had one since. . .kindergarten, I think? Maybe younger. When he was in school, he would email his teachers all the time. Now (at almost 9 yo) he uses it to email me weird links and poems and stories he writes. DD is 6 and just got one, but she doesn't really use it.
eclipse is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 05:11 PM
 
elizawill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: right here
Posts: 5,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my dd has had one since she's 6 years old. she likes to write her cousins and grandparents. i see no harm in it, and she knows not to sign up for anything with it or give it out to anyone.

homeschooling mama to DD 10 & DS 7 blogging.jpg

elizawill is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 05:25 PM
 
HappilyEvrAfter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll probably be in the minority with NCmama, but I don't think mine will be getting his own email address at that age.

Mind you, he's only 5 so who knows how my view will change by then, but, right now, if he were 9, my answer would be No.
Neither will he be getting his own cell phone at that age.

But I'll keep reading responses to this thread and keep an open mind. I can't think of any arguments in favor of him having his own that would let him open one, but...who knows.

Center
HappilyEvrAfter is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:05 PM
 
karemore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hudson Valley NY
Posts: 728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
With constant oversight by you I think it's fine.

I'll let DD have her own account as soon as she can write better. She already has me type emails to her grandparents, aunt, cousin, and her two best friends (through the mothers).

To me there is a big difference between a monitored email account and facebook. DD will have to show a great deal of maturity and common sense before she's allowed a facebook page (or whatever is "in" when she's older).
karemore is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:14 PM
 
elizawill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: right here
Posts: 5,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karemore View Post
To me there is a big difference between a monitored email account and facebook.
totally agree.

homeschooling mama to DD 10 & DS 7 blogging.jpg

elizawill is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:44 PM
 
zebra15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 4,746
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Yes, DS opened an account around age 6. Now at age 9 its a necessity for online classes and homeschool projects etc.

Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

zebra15 is online now  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:46 PM
 
Roar's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 4,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm fine with a child much younger than that having an email address - that is really different from saying the child should be allowed freewheeling access to the Internet without restrictions. I would make it clear what sort of monitoring you do and what level of privacy the child should expect. We found emailing friends and grandparents was a nice way to keep in touch and get some typing practice as well.
Roar is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:53 PM
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine has one...a gmail account. We haven't had any problems. It displays my name rather than hers.

I have her password.

Facebook is an entirely different affair...and they don't allow accounts younger than 13.
chfriend is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 07:58 PM
 
rainbowmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 10,800
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can't imagine my 5.5yo being ready for an email account anytime soon! My friend's son has one and he is almost 9. (he always asks to use my laptop to check his email when he visits )

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
rainbowmoon is online now  
Old 11-06-2009, 08:00 PM
 
bu's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 2,815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dd has had her own email account since about 4 yo (she's now 7) when her father & I separated. We both have the password and I have to sign her on. She has a regular yahoo email. The only site she can go on is webkinz. I think her father is the same way at his house, but I cannot guarantee this.
bu's mama is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 08:09 PM
 
mommabear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 632
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ds (8.5) has one. We got it mainly to give him an opportunity to express himself in writing, as he is not such a fan of printing. It also allows him to stay in contact with faraway relatives. I monitor it (have the password) and he is learning what to not open without checking with me first. So far, no problems.
mommabear is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 08:25 PM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My daughter was younger than that when she got her first. My son was older, but he preferred IMing and still does. My youngest doesn't have his own e-mail yet, but then, he "talks" with friends and relatives on FB.

We didn't have any age rules about these things, when they wanted one and could navigate it, they opened accounts. There are ways to block ads and when they were little, we told them not to open emails if they didn't recognize who it was from.

I've never monitored their accounts, but we talk openly and have never had any problems.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 08:25 PM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, we do and have.

We have a rule. If I cannot access their accounts they will not have access to the computer. My kids know we look at the history. We have had very open converstations about appropriate behaviors. We discuss news articles about dangers of the web, pictures, videos, et.

We do not use their real names.

They have facebook accounts with fake names. They love Farmville, a carnival game, Farkle, and Bejewelled. They have a small social circle that we monitor. Yes, we have lied about their names and ages but we cannot find a safe compromise. We allowed another site and we had a harder time controlling "friends".

Their emails are with our ISP. For schooling reasons my son did/does have an account with msn but I would not use msn, hotmail, yahoo. Gmail I would. I don't think there is the issue with spam.
Marsupialmom is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 11:50 PM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
while i like the kid safe options of the accunt OP talks about

I have to say

NOPE.

I am a firm believer in protecting childhood, and protecting children and keeping them children.

my 4 yo has never played starfall or any other computer game. we visit PBS kids like once a month and I work it -- and he gets to choose and watch.

I am not even sure when he is going to get to do ANYTHING like starfall, and to have an e-mail account, not for a long time.

IMO there is no one an 8 or 9 or 10 year old needs to e-mail.

Now if Dh was deployed or travled excessively (he travles but not for 3 or 4 months at a time) then MAYBE I would let an 8 to 10 year old have an account for ONLY talking to daddy.

but as a general rule -- i see no need for a child like that to converse via e-mail.

jsut me

kids are not kids long enough these days.

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 09:56 AM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma Aimee View Post
kids are not kids long enough these days.

AImee
I'm curious--what is it about an email account that shortens childhood?

I see email as just another mode of communication. At that age, I used snail mail and the phone. This generation has other options like email and texting. How does it take away from childhood?

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 10:15 AM
 
elizawill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: right here
Posts: 5,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i have no family near me (on my side that is... i could trip over my MIL or SIL's house, lol). for me, emailing is the same thing as sending letters snail mail... it's not like she is writing to people i don't know or receiving email from strangers. people aren't requesting to be her "friend" & she doesn't receive spam, because we don't give her account info out. i certainly don't feel she is less of a child because of it, but rather she enjoys sending my family notes, pictures, etc. equally, we enjoy receiving notes from them via email. my mom still sends cards and calls everyday...but email is simply another way to keep in touch, ykwim?

homeschooling mama to DD 10 & DS 7 blogging.jpg

elizawill is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 10:52 AM
 
jessicaSAR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Lost in the Woods
Posts: 1,721
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an interesting question, and not something I have ever thought about since my 8yo and 5yo really don't use the computer at all. I don't see anything inherently wrong with a child protected account. It would be fun to converse with grandparents and perhaps encourage today's version of letter writing. My only concern, for us, would be that it might be a motivation for them to be on the computer everyday, and I am happy now that they are not interested in computer games and such. But, I am sure there will come a time when they will become interested in the computer, and when that happens, email seems one of the better online options.
jessicaSAR is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:04 PM
 
lovinlife1219's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was actually going to open an account for my son (he is 5) to use. We will be doing it together, but I think it will be a neat experience for him. We live very far from any family, and it will be a fun way to keep in touch with those he loves...he can send pictures and write them letters, etc. Of course, we still do good old snail mail, but this is just another avenue of communication for us.

I want to find one that I can control what goes in and out, so he won't be getting porn spam and the like, or e-mail from predators. What are some children's email sites? And are they free?

Thanks

E, mama to DS (6) and DD (3)
I'm a and we are
lovinlife1219 is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:34 PM
 
sleet76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: WI
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 6 yo daughter has a yahoo email account that she looks at about once or twice a month. She will read a few short emails from her loved ones (grandmas, aunts, mommy, and daddy) and peck out a few sweet messages back. She feels very proud to be able to compose a message and tell people she loves them in that way, and it helps my reluctant writer break out of her shell and try to write words on her own. I don't see any problem with it.

However, I would not let her on a social networking site for many years. Probably at least in her early teens.

Stacy-- Wife to my DH, mom to three: noodle girl:, Lego boy , little guy :
sleet76 is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:45 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 95 Post(s)
My youngest got her e-mail address at age 3. It comes through my e-mail client into a separate folder, so I have full access. Obviously the risk is of spam with inappropriate content, but because everything filters past my eyes first, that's not a problem. I have good spam filters, and just skim things visually in her folder.

She's a prolific communicator, both through snail-mail and e-mail. She's six now and really enjoys having her own e-mail account. It has been wonderful for her writing skills.

Miranda

Mountain mama to two great kids and two great grown-ups
moominmamma is online now  
Old 11-07-2009, 05:23 PM
 
July09Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 138
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
July09Mama is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 05:28 PM
 
springbabes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 996
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DDs who are 10 and 12 have had email accounts for a few years now (since they were 7 and 9, I'd guess). My 6yo DS has recently began reading and writing and has expressed interest in having his own account. I don't see any problem with it. It's a great way for them to stay in touch with friends and relatives in other states. I can't imagine keeping that from them.

To those of you who are opposed to children having email accounts, help me understand what the risks are? I could see potential problems if the were emailing strangers, but that has yet to happen. What am I overlooking?

Cindycaffix.gif, wife to soapbox.gif, mama to DD1 (4/97)lol.gif, DD2 (3/99)bouncy.gif, DS (4/03)biggrinbounce.gif, and DD3 (6/07)energy.gif, 3 cat.gif, and 10 chicken3.gif.
 
springbabes is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 07:51 PM
 
pinky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,820
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 8.5 yo has her own email account that she uses on "her" computer (a laptop that was handed down to her). I started out with the strictest controls (i.e. copies of all emails coming to me) but decided it wasn't needed and that it was overly intrusive--I don't need to be monitoring every conversation that she's having with a friend. I have full access to her computer and her account, and I informally (i.e. looking over her shoulder) monitor her email use.

As a child who's been reluctant to write, this has been a fun way to do more writing and stay in touch with family who are far and near. She and I even email each other. It's hard for me to see how this is potentially damaging to her or could somehow make her grow up too fast.

That being said, I am extremely strict about use of the internet, which is still 100% monitored. On her computer, she can only visit sites that I/we have bookmarked, which requires my password. The web, to me, is an entirely different beast than email.
pinky is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 10:08 PM
 
MeadowSong_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If my 10 year old asked, I'd say yes. I think it would be fine. Set it up yourself and tell them the truth. You'll watch the account and know the password and will check up on them. If they are emailing family and friends, it's a great mode of communication and excellent typing practice haha
MeadowSong_ is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off