Regretting kindergarten:( - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 18 Old 02-12-2010, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I went and let my 5 year old dd go to kindergarten. I wanted to homeschool but felt so unprepared(with a brand new babe, a recent cross country move and another move in Sept!). Then my resolve to homeschool was finally broken when dd came to me crying and asking if she could at least try 'real' school.

Fast forward 6 months and I am really wanting to give homeschooling a go again. Things have settled down and I feel I can do this. She doesn't mind going to school but she doesn't love it either. I feel like it's squashing her love of learning will all the pressure to learn and the mundane lessons. I miss her while she's gone and it just feels so right to have her here learning. She has such a natural desire to learn that seems to be disappearing

I feel like I should let her finish her year in kindy. But I want to start preparing now for our homelearning adventure. I have no idea what I want though. We are quite strapped for funds....I am the type of person who hates routine, yet I feel I need some guidance because with no guidance I'm too....unguided

Please help me! I don't want to cave and just send her to gr 1. I need to have a plan. Thanks!

Jenny
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#2 of 18 Old 02-12-2010, 11:05 PM
 
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LOL, I just had to say - we're regretting high school!

We homeschooled from Kindy until this year, now dd is half-time in high school. Back to homeschooling next year, so I'm in planning mode too!

Your dd is still so young, you don't need to get too stressed about needing tons of things to homeschool. You could easily spend a year just going to the library and picking up books of interest to read together; help her find answers to her questions; getting connected to your local homeschool group; playing with arts and craft supplies, etc. You would learn so much about how she learns, what she likes and have plenty of time to plan your next homeschool year! I'm not an unschooler, but we are very child-led (even if it did lead her to school, grrrr). You will not be 'behind' and you can continue to read and see what inspires you and fits your daughter.

If you feel you need a curriculum, don't feel you have to go and buy a complete curriculum. You can piece together great stuff from the library and the internet. Just to get you started - my favorite subject, math!
http://www.cimt.plymouth.ac.uk/projects/mep/default.htm
Great free math curriculum, K-12 There is a yahoo group for help in implementing the program
http://illuminations.nctm.org/
free online math lessons and animated demos, K-12

I would just pick a subject, describe what kinds of stuff your kiddo likes, and post here for ideas. Slowly add a subject at a time to your routine and don't be concerned if you use games, reading together, watching science or history dvds, constructing 'science' experiments and just fun conversations in lieu of book work. You won't have to break the bank or totally structure your whole day in order to see your daughter learn and grow.

Good luck - it is a fun journey! A slight pain when you have to start keeping track of high school credits for future college admission, but I actually even find that a little fun.
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#3 of 18 Old 02-14-2010, 01:45 AM
 
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I regretted kindy, too Now you know what you really want to do, and maybe (if like my girl) she'll get a good idea about why she would choose homeschooling over traditional school.

We had to re-play K at home for some subjects, and then in some she's pushing 2nd, and in others she's right on at 1st. It will work out. At least you have this time to research and prepare.

Have fun with curriculum browsing, but since you have so much time, I would say attempt to make a custom curriculum because you will know what is ideal for your child better than a curriculum provider would. Plus, putting together your own resources is actually kind of fun!

Good luck, you will enjoy it

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#4 of 18 Old 02-14-2010, 02:39 AM
 
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To be honest, I WOULD pull her now and spend the rest of the year "unschooling" her (meaning breaking her of the mindset of the classroom) and really figuring out how she wants to learn before Sept. rolls around. Try different things. I did this the year before my son would've gone into K and it was SUCH a learning experience. At the end of it, I had such a better handle on how we worked--how he operated, what I needed (which was SO not what I thought), etc.

Take that stumbling time now. She's still young. There's so much information pointing to delaying academics until 7 or so. I would really let her come home now and be together without much pressure. This way, you get a feel for the things she really loves to do--especially now that she's been in school and her tastes may have changed. Otherwise you may feel like your stumbling around for the first few months next year are unproductive and feel the need to send her back.

Just another perspective. Why make her endure the rest of the year if you CAN have her home and she's really not feeling driven to be there? Let her play for the rest of the year and sprinkle some lessons here and there. See what you both like, what she responds to, what works for you. Then you can "hit the ground running" in Sept. (or delay some more if you choose to).
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#5 of 18 Old 02-14-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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I agree with Heatherdeg.

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#6 of 18 Old 02-14-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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I agree with Heatherdeg, as well. With how young she is I think the best thing to do is give her a clean- and large break between school learning and any sort of home learning. Figure out her interests and learning style, spend time figuring out how all day together looks- then worry about academics.

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#7 of 18 Old 02-14-2010, 11:02 PM
 
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Another to agree with heatherdeg. We were in a very similar position at this exact time last year, but it was with pre-K. She was at a school that was wonderful for her for preschool, but pre-K was just horrid. It was a horrible fit for her. I kept thinking "we'd just finish the year and then homeschool for K"

Someone here said something to me about how the school year is just an arbitrary time period that means some thing to us, not to them. I realized that I felt like I was quitting by pulling her out "so close" to the end of the year.

Once I gave that up, it was a simple decision. We spent all that time deschooling and really I'd say we are only just now getting to a point where she would really like to have more focused learning.

Good luck! I will say that the only thing I regret about pulling her out is that we didn't do it sooner!

Holli
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#8 of 18 Old 02-15-2010, 02:30 AM
 
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I agree with Heatherdeg too The other thing with homeschooling is that it doesn't have to be a Sept to June only. You may feel like you're pulling her mid year but if you stick with homeschooling, you don't have to be confined to the "school year". Good luck, mama. I'm in a similar boat as you right now

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#9 of 18 Old 02-15-2010, 02:48 AM
 
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Hey,
I have regular panic-attacks about my ability to homeschool, but I have really loved having dd's age 5 year be about exploring the way she learns and the way I like to interact with her learning. We have mostly done unschooling for this year and it has been really helpful to see how much she is learning by following her own interests with my support. I just want to encourage you to relax and de-school at home. You can always put her back in for grade 1 or 2 if you don't like the way it is going, but likely you will find that it is entirely doable.
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#10 of 18 Old 02-15-2010, 03:55 AM
 
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I totally agree with pulling her out now if you are able to.

I knew halfway thru K that we wanted to homeschool, but we weren't able to make it work until the beginning of first. But if you're able to take her out now, then do so! And definitely just spend the time de-schooling. But from now til whenever you're able to start, have fun looking at curric and thinking about what kind of approach you'd like to take!

Honestly, I don't think she's going to miss anything by taking the rest of the year off.

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#11 of 18 Old 02-15-2010, 08:34 AM
 
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My Favorite freebie sites are:
www.homeschoolshare.com
www.amblesideonline.org
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#12 of 18 Old 02-15-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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I would pull her, too. I pulled my oldest out of Kindy when dh finally agreed with me it wasn't a good choice.

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#13 of 18 Old 02-16-2010, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow!! I was really surprised by all the replies. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me and for the links

It seems nearly unanimous that I should take her out of school now. How I wish I would've done it when she was really having a hard time there. After a month or so she started saying how much she hated school. She said she wanted to have school at home and would get upset about going in the morning. And I told her we would finish out the year and we could homeschool for gr.1. Since Christmas she's been handling it a lot better, no more complaints. She still isn't thrilled but she is doing alright.

I know it isn't doing her any good though. The staff are all fantastic, but the learning is just ridiculous. So much pressure for academics at her age...and it seems so dry to me. I can feel her love of learning going away

My intuition says you're right...the sooner the better. Maybe her and I should have a talk about this tomorrow. I feel she should be included in this decision

But, I know I'd get HUGE flak from my in laws(who live rather close). And I'm not even sure if I can get dh on board. Also, how do I really go about finding out her learning style?

Jenny
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#14 of 18 Old 02-16-2010, 01:17 AM
 
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This may be a bit simplistic, but how does your child play? Play is how children learn. It's been fascinating for me to watch my three kiddos and how they play and learn.
I agree with whomever (was it Heatherdop, lol?) that advised giving her some down time between classroom and a more structured learning time at home.
I also agree with delayed learning. I am SO glad I haven't pushed reading,ect with DS (now 7). He is now raring to go and begging to learn to read. I believe it'll be easier for him to grasp because he's curious about it.
GL with your decision and the IL's, lol.

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#15 of 18 Old 02-16-2010, 02:11 AM
 
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I'm pretty sure it was Cathy Duffy's 100 top homeschool picks that I checked out from the library and really enjoyed. I am not a homeschooler yet, but considering (kids are still young). There was a section at the beginning about learning styles, and suggested cirriculum for different styles as well.

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#16 of 18 Old 02-16-2010, 03:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunaria View Post
My intuition says you're right...the sooner the better. Maybe her and I should have a talk about this tomorrow. I feel she should be included in this decision

But, I know I'd get HUGE flak from my in laws(who live rather close). And I'm not even sure if I can get dh on board. Also, how do I really go about finding out her learning style?

Jenny
Trust your mommy intuition. It's there for a reason As far as your dh, I would pull together some articles (besthomeschooling.org). Once you and your dh are on the same page, then I think you will feel a little more solid. Your concern about your in laws is familiar to me. I can tell you that for me, it's gotten better with time. You just have to be ready to be firm in your boundaries. I know it's hard.
As far as finding your dd's learning style, I would encourage you to read books on homeschooling. Talk to other moms who homeschool and start slow. You don't need to rush yourself or your dd. Start by taking nature walks, baking, going to the park, etc. Every moment can be a teaching moment at this age. Good luck, mama keep us posted.

Here's me I married then we had dd15 , dd11 , ds10 , and then and now we and I blog!
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#17 of 18 Old 02-16-2010, 05:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunaria View Post

My intuition says you're right...the sooner the better. Maybe her and I should have a talk about this tomorrow. I feel she should be included in this decision

But, I know I'd get HUGE flak from my in laws(who live rather close). And I'm not even sure if I can get dh on board. Also, how do I really go about finding out her learning style?

Jenny
Meh. They'll balk and then they'll get over it. Not like your kid has to be an academic or otherwise genius, but pretty soon her brilliant colors will start shining because you'll be able to help give her exactly what she needs, and they will see that the proof is in the pudding. It might take a year or so, but eventually, I bet your ILs will get over it--mine did and now are like, wow, she's doing so well good luck!

Don't worry too much about her learning style or doing things the "right" way because it will develop between the two of you as you go. Just take it easy, and remember that the deschooling phase is really important--a month for every year in school, so they say, so take at least that long to just let her follow her nose.

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#18 of 18 Old 02-18-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunaria View Post
But, I know I'd get HUGE flak from my in laws(who live rather close). And I'm not even sure if I can get dh on board.
You are likely to get flack from more than just your ILs and dh. Your decision puts everyone who decided to send their kids to public school in defense mode about their decision and looking at you like 1) you're questioning their judgment; and/or 2) you think you're better than them. Hopefully you won't have a LOT of this, but it's out there and you should be prepared. There are lots of great threads in this forum for dealing with it.

As for your dh, can you talk to him? Is he open-minded? Is he mainstream? Does he have a hard time with crunchy things?

Or you could give dh a copy of "Dumbing Us Down" by Gatto. SHORT READ and profoundly disturbing. Either that, or you get it and read it--reading particularly moving passages to him to make the point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dannic View Post
This may be a bit simplistic, but how does your child play? Play is how children learn. It's been fascinating for me to watch my three kiddos and how they play and learn.


Quote:
Originally Posted by craft_media_hero View Post
Meh. They'll balk and then they'll get over it. Not like your kid has to be an academic or otherwise genius, but pretty soon her brilliant colors will start shining because you'll be able to help give her exactly what she needs, and they will see that the proof is in the pudding. It might take a year or so, but eventually, I bet your ILs will get over it--mine did and now are like, wow, she's doing so well good luck!

Don't worry too much about her learning style or doing things the "right" way because it will develop between the two of you as you go. Just take it easy, and remember that the deschooling phase is really important--a month for every year in school, so they say, so take at least that long to just let her follow her nose.
also. My ILs gave me crap for everything I ever did with my 6yo up until last year. Now, they can't stop bragging about him. Of course NONE of that has anything to do with our parenting. The subject of his schooling is kind of a taboo subject: it never comes up with ANYone and I think they might dread someone asking. That being said, they have a ready list of "excuses" why he would need to be homeschooled... food allergies, immune deficiency... things people can't really "argue" about.
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