I don't know what else to call it. DD10 will ask repeatedly if we like something she has done or made. We try to answer every time she asks, but it gets annoying, and it really seems odd. I will look her in the eye and respond the first few times, but eventually, it really gets on my nerves, and I want her to just move on and stop asking. I often point out that "I said yes the first 5 times you ask, do you really need to ask again?" I know that isn't the right reaction, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Example: she has made 3 potholders with a loom - you know the type where you criss-cross loops and weave them into a square. She finished one 2 days ago, and we have said it's lovely. She started one yesterday, and we have responded to her queries: "don't you like it?" "doesn't it match? do you like the pattern? does it have a pattern?" She hasn't even finished it, and she's obsessed with my approval of it. She has a very short attention span to projects. I suppose that's partly my fault because I usually have at least 5 projects going on at one time. The difference is that I *finish* mine. I'm to the point where I don't want to encourage her because she is unlikely to follow through and finish anything. (I do NOT say that to her.)
We don't follow a routine or curriculum. Very free-spirited around here. That used to work for them, but I'm wondering if that's part of the problem ... if it IS a problem, I don't know.
She's also exceedingly stubborn. I'm worried that maybe we're doing her a disservice by allowing her so much freedom with the education. In anger, I've threatened to send her to school - told her that the government requires us to teach her, and if she won't listen to US, then she has to go to school. (she says that she would just sit there and not do their homework) I know I shouldn't say that, but it's really irritating. She reads very very well, but if I try to guide her to reading harder books, she refuses.
She thinks math is hard, and she won't listen if we try to give her memory-tricks. DH & I are math geeks, and it's very frustrating for us to watch her STILL having to count on her fingers just to add 7+3. I've got cuisenaire rods, and we're trying to work on how to make math fun - but that's another problem entirely!!!
Right now, I need to know if the need for repetitive affirmation is normal.
p.s. my dd's are 10, 6 & 1
p.p.s. I suppose part of my issue is that I rarely got my mother's approval, as a child or as an adult - so from that perspective, I feel at odds with this constant approval-seeking.