When did you know you wanted to home school? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-01-2010, 05:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had been keeping an open mind about home school vs School, and if I'm honest probably thought it was more likely that my son would go to school. We have a place for him to start nursery in september 5 mornings a week, and then the following september the reception class full days 5 days a week.
This is what I thought we would most likely do.

But now that september is fast approaching and following a very unpleasant *introduction* day at the nursery, I just don't think nursery/school is going to be best for him. DH and I both felt that the atmosphere there was not right, they have 4 staff:30+ 3 year olds. My son was anxious and clearly not enjoying being there. He doesn't *have* to go to nursery, here in the UK, education is compulsary in the september following the 5th birthday (this can be school or home education) but we thought that by allowing him to start nursery just in the mornings, he would be able to settle in more gradually than expecting him to do full days in reception class.

I want the decision to be what is best for HIM and not just to stop be worrying IYKWIM, I know I am protective of him, and I don't want to hold him back due to my own fears.

I worry that if we keep him home an extra year, he'll find it even harder the following year, and that all the other children will know each other etc.

Which makes me want to home school him completley and cut school out altogether! Is this just me being a worrier?

How do you know for sure you are going to home school? When did you decide?

Me and hubby, plus ds 6, angel dd, little mc angels and finally our little rainbow baby, 30 weeker miracle.
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Old 07-01-2010, 09:04 AM
 
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I say follow your heart.

We planned to home school from day one. And it has been amazing. There are so many movements and studies that explain that its good to hold off on school and let kids "play" and kids longer --many say until 7 --that was the original reason for kindergarten (I just read a new article yesterday) kindergarten (children's garden) was supposed to give kids more time to be kids and play outside!! I will try to find the article --I cannot remember where I read it, arrrghhh, so many sources these days Do some research and talk to people you trust too!

but DH and I agree, follow your heart!!

me 71, dh 68, dd 00, dd 04
blissfully figuring out how to coexist while homeschooling and living in the woods of northern michigan
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Old 07-01-2010, 09:19 AM
 
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When I was 13 I was 'homeschooled' on a homebound program for a few months because of medical reasons. I learned MORE in those few months than I did that year. I made a mental note at 13 that if I ever had kids, that would be something to consider.

So when we were pg with our first homeschooling just sort of followed the line of books I read-midwifery, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, homeschooling, etc. So I guess I always knew it would be an option for us. I don't regret any of the homeschooling years. Two of our kids are in public school at their request and it's working for them (though my 16 yo is taking virtual school over the summer to graduate early to go to college full time in a year).But I much prefer homeschool.

Wife, mom to 6 great kids!...avid crafter, music lover,  reader, gardener!

 

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Old 07-01-2010, 09:58 AM
 
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I began reading about homeschooling before my first child was even born and the whole concept just made sense to me.

Then when he was just a few years old Columbine happened. That sealed the deal.

Good luck with your decision! I do remember those early years and having lots of mixed feelings about all of my options. Now that my oldest is 15 and taking college classes (and hasn't been the victim of any violence), I feel very secure in our choice.

Catholic homeschooling mom of two daughters and four sons... baby Mark born on 8/27/10. Kidney Disease Awareness
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Old 07-01-2010, 10:43 AM
 
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I knew I wanted to homeschool my own future kids when I was in college and met some friends who were homeschooled. I was so impressed with their well-rounded academic knowledge and they dissolved any stereotypes I may have had regarding homeschoolers. They were socially confident, independent, smart, savvy, happy and well-adjusted adults. I am a teacher at heart and this was a no-brainer for me. DH wasn't convinced initially, but I made it clear on our first date that I wanted to homeschool and he just went with it and now he is completely sold on it, at least for the elementary years. (But I know we will continue well on through middle school and most likely high school.)
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Old 07-01-2010, 10:47 AM
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DS1 was stagnating in school. He was pretty far "ahead", academically, and wasn't getting much out of school. I considered homeschooling him, but we were due to move soon (military) and I wanted to see what the next city had in store for us. Maybe the schools would be more accommodating to bright children.

Then our family was transferred to a base with no DoD schools and the kids went to inner city schools in DC, waited for an opening in a magnet school, or went to private school. We didn't have the money for private school. DS went to the public school for about 3 days. The kids were rough. The teachers were rough. They had security guards on every floor of the building (K-5 school), barred windows, and unmarked entrances.

Not my cup of tea. I withdrew him from school in January of 2000. We've never looked back.
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Old 07-01-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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Gotta add... part of our decision was based on the fact that both DH and I had very different educations: me parochial/private through some college, he public through some college --and we were both left with scars and gaps in our education.

And we live in a VERY supportive community!!

me 71, dh 68, dd 00, dd 04
blissfully figuring out how to coexist while homeschooling and living in the woods of northern michigan
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:19 PM
 
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I knew that I would homeschool when I was 18 and met my aunt and uncle and their 2 hs'ed boys. My grandmother was in hospice respite with cancer, and I went to visit while they were there. My uncle was in the room with granny, and my aunt was in the kitchenette area with her boys, doing math with the oldest one and trying to keep the youngest involved in a coloring page for some preschool skill. I asked her a couple questions then, and kept it in my mind as just so much more awesome than the schooling I had growing up (I'd been in both public and private schools, and once had a private tutor after school and over the summer for 2 years). Then when I was pregnant with my oldest girl (starting 2nd grade) I told my now hubby that I was GOING to hs and that my kids would never go to ps, he just shrugged and said whatever. My oldest did a semester of ps for K, and we haven't looked back since we pulled her to hs (my dd2 has never been to ps, but dd3 and dd4 will each do a year- maybe 2 for dd4- of preschool at Head Start 4 mornings a week to give me a chance to keep up with the big kids' schooling and my own college at home, we ALL learn through online schooling, k12 for the kids and private university distance program for me).

But we just kinda KNEW, especially as the kids got older we knew that it was the best option for us at this point in time (considering dd1's special learning needs and our ps lack of interest to accomodate, test, or acknowledge private testing at all before 3rd grade AND 2 grade levels behind, we weren't about to let her fall through the cracks like that and now she's almost caught up because I can work with her as she learns best instead of her being too frustrated after school to work with me)

Cat- FT ministry student and Sonlight hsing momma to a wild crew of girls
Melissa 4/03, Lydia 5/04, Kimberly 1/06, and Jordan 9/07

And waiting impatiently on baby Isaiah ******* to appear around 3/12

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Old 07-01-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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When my son was somewhere between 12 and 24 hours old, I thought how it was my job to protect him and that homeschool would be part of that.

As I've researched homeschooling, I've come to realize how superior it is to schooling. I've also discovered unschooling. This will work particularly well with my son as he would be totally unwilling to follow rules or a curriculum.

He is 4.5 and his sister is 22 months. I am really excited that I will be there for the schooling journey instead of missing out on most of their education because someone else is doing it.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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Old 07-01-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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I never really considered it until my oldest child was in 3rd grade. That was the year that I was her Brownie girl scout troup leader & so I was able to really see how school kids were acting at school & in big groups. The girls were just beginning on the path to puberty & boys, celebreties, clothing style, how ugly other girls were, etc. were THE thing to talk about. They were becoming so catty!

Anyway, I will keep my long story short. That was the beginning for me. I was seeing more & more & more social crapola in the public school scene than I was comfortable with my dd picking up. I researched homeschooling for about a yr., & finally pulled her out in the middle of 4th grade. That was over 10 yrs ago & I've never had one regret. There are a zillion other reasons we hs, but those icky social things are what made me begin thinking about it in the 1st place.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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Old 07-01-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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Before I even met my husband...

My first intro to homeschooling was my friend in 9th grade who was the stereotype "weird" kid. Then we met another family in our church who was homeschooling which was totally not the sterotype. I had quit school by then but my younger sister begged my mom to do it which she eventually agreed to because my sister was considered truant because she would not go as it was so awful for her.

So I decided that was what I was doing with my own kids. Met dh a few months later and he agreed right off. Also a drop-out who had bad experiences and his good friend had been homeschooled his whole life.

So, yeah going to school has never been an option for our children.

Everything I have read and learned and have seen in my kids since that time confirms that what we are doing is the right thing, even if it is not always the easiest path.
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Old 07-01-2010, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to thank you all for your replies. Luckily enough I have found a forum for home schoolers in our city, so it looks as though I'll have a support network, but it certainly isn't the 'norm' here.
From what I've been reading on the forum, they arrange outings, they have a centre with a playground and access to computers, and they run classes for the children including Spanish, computing etc, obviously this will be when my ds is older but its so reassuring to know that we have this pretty much on our doorstep. It will be so nice to meet up with other like minded parents in our area

My ds was three months premature, and although he is perfectly healthy, and very intelligent, he is very sensitive, and doesn't handle separation well. I have recently read the 'primal wound' by Nancy Verrier and she says that 'incubator babies' experience this in the same way as newborns placed for adoption. I definitely recognise some of those signs in him. He needs reassurance that we're here for him although he is very sociable.

Dh and I have been talking this through A LOT, I've given him my views, and input from this forum and the local one. He is going to think about it and let me know in the next few days what he thinks best. But I think we'll probably be writing to the nursery to let them know we've made other arrangements. My son is thriving at home, and his happiness is the most important thing. I think my DH understands this, and pretty sure he'll agree too.

Me and hubby, plus ds 6, angel dd, little mc angels and finally our little rainbow baby, 30 weeker miracle.
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Old 07-01-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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We talked about it before we even got married.
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Old 07-01-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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When I was 10 or 11. There was a hsed girl in my dance class. I thought it was the best thing and knew I was going to do it for my children someday

Aron Mama to 6 homeschoolers -- 12, 10, 8, 5, 3, baby

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Old 07-03-2010, 11:01 AM
 
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I've wanted to homeschool since I was in school myself. By the time I was in high school I knew homeschooling was the best opition to get the best education I could for my children. My husband was homeschooled almost his entire school career and was on board with me on the schooling. I know we will homeschool through junior high but not sure about high school yet.

I am a big believer in delayed education and not really starting till 7ishh with an actual curiculum and instead letting them learn through play. However, due to complusory school age and where my children's birthdays fall I will have to see on paper at least do some sort of curiculm once they are 5.
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Old 07-03-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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My oldest was 3 1/2 and ready to start school. I had never heard of homeschooling at this point. We brought her for orientation and it didn't sit right with me. I literally felt sick at the thought of her going to school.
Now we have so many reasons why we homeschool. We actually unschool now.
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Old 07-03-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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I knew my children would be homeschooled when I was in high school myself and dying to get out of there. It just felt like such a huge waste of time. With homeschooling, my kids have so much more time available to them than I did.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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Old 07-03-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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I came around to homeschooling very gradually, but now that I have come around, I am a total convert. I would love to homeschool all of my kids through high school.

Growing up I knew one homeschool family, and they were super weird (and not in a good way). I think they lacked the socialization everybody is always worried about! :

Also, I had pretty fond memories of school, and thought my kids deserved that too.

My oldest went to preschool, and I really really enjoyed the break for a few hours, a couple of days a week. I definitely planned to send him to school for Kindergarten.

We moved the spring before his Kindy year and I could not find a school that I was comfortable with. So, I decided to homeschool. I had an infant, we hardly knew anybody, and my oldest was (is) defiant and difficult. He and I were both miserable and I ended up sending him to the local public school at the end of October. He stayed the rest of the year, and it was not a bad experience. His teachers were nice, the other kids were nice, but the school was enormous (12 Kindy classes, I think) and the day started very early (bus came at 6:30). My son had a lot of anxiety about going, and I started to consider other options again. We applied to a charter school and were 11 on the waitlist. We looked into private schools, but couldn't afford any that we liked, especially with a few other kiddos following closely behind.

So, we decided to try homeschooling again. This time it was fabulous! By this time we were more settled and knew people, and we fell into a wonderful group of homeschooling families. Things were going so so well. Then, in mid November, we got a call that his spot had come up at the charter school. I told them "no thanks you," and hung up, but then decided I ought to talk to dh about it. He convinced me to give it a shot and we did. It was a much better experience than the regular public school- better hours and much smaller, tight knit environment, for example. BUT, I had fallen in love with homeschooling.

I missed him SO much! I missed our homeschool friends and our much more relaxed lifestyle. I hated having to wait in a carpool line (with 3 other kids, including a screaming infant) for close to an hour every afternoon to pick him up. I hated spending so little time with him. But it was such a good school, and if we kept him there, all 4 of our kids could go there, from K-8th grade (potentially even through 12th grade!) for free! He finished his first grade year, and started his second grade year. But, I couldn't stop thinking about homeschooling, and even though he liked his school, he wanted to come home too.

Previously, I had only considered homeschooling as a last resort (if we couldn't find a school we liked), but here we had a school we really liked, and I still wanted to homeschool! My mindset had totally changed. He came home last fall and we had a great year!

Sorry for such a long post!

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 07-04-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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On our first date my dh told me that he would never send his children to school, especially middle school. He had a friend who was homeschooling his children and they were amazing and learned so much from things like sea kayaking trips on Lake Powell. After meeting the girl I was in complete agreement. Which is funny because we were both teachers.

Mama, writer, partner, wanderer. Living life with my ds (7/06), married to my best friend and nemesis .
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Old 07-04-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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When my daughter was around 18 months I knew we'd homeschool her for at least Kindergarten and 1st grade. I am a SLP and was working with a child twice a week in a local Kindergarten class. I hated how structured and academic it was. It was nothing like my memories of Kindergarten.

After that, I read more and more about homeschooling. I joined local lists just to keep an eye on the activities going on in my city. And I fell in love with the idea. We are just starting K now and we homeschooled for the last year of preschool (my blog is in my profile.) I see us homeschooling well past 1st grade but I don't know if we will always hs or just until a certain grade or what.

Good luck in your choice!

**Kat**
Homeschooling her 5 year old.
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Old 07-04-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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I am a big believer in delayed education and not really starting till 7ishh with an actual curiculum and instead letting them learn through play. However, due to complusory school age and where my children's birthdays fall I will have to see on paper at least do some sort of curiculm once they are 5.
Maybe these would help you: http://www.fun-books.com/books/livin...ing_guides.htm

From the website:
These guides are put together by Nancy Plent, founder of the Unschoolers Network in New Jersey and a long-time homeschooler. She reviewed the scope and sequence charts and curriculum guides of dozens of schools in various states, then combined the highest standards of elements from each to create these guides. Why purchase these curriculum guides? 1) They may help you to fulfill your state's legal requirement to provide an educational plan 2) They allow you to see some of the highest standards for schools at various grade levels, just in case you are curious about what the schools expect or are anxious about what you are doing 3) They provide record-keeping space that can help organize a portfolio.

Besides providing a checklist under each subject, Nancy offers suggestions on how to translate real-life experience into curricula goals. She also lists resources from a variety of companies. Each guide covers two or more grade levels. The first four are in comb binding, while the high school guide is in a 3-ring binder.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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Old 07-04-2010, 05:53 PM
 
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I wanted to homeschool since before I was pregnant with my daughter. At first we had problems finding much information on groups here in Edinburgh, but we've recently found a great homeschooling community. We've just started taking her to the group as toddlers are welcome, which is great.

I really don't like the way public schools are, and I feel they miss out on so many important things.
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Old 07-04-2010, 08:05 PM
 
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the thought briefly crossed my mind when dd was 2. i sort of dismissed it then, because i was a single mom and working full time. when she got nearer to kindergarten age, i was engaged to someone and we had a little more flex room financially. i ended up having to go back to work full time, but we made hsing work for us this last year anyway, thanks to a great home daycare provider. i plan to try and stay home again this fall and hs on a tight , TIGHT budget. i'm sort of looking forward to the challenge, and of course being home with my girls. my reasons for wanting to homeschool mostly have to do with thinking that kids grow up way too early these days; especially girls. dd was also diagnosed with autism, and since i have had her home the last year she has flourished. not sure if that is related to the hsing, or just that she is "catching up" developmentally in some areas, but it is certainly encouraging. i also think hs'd kids get a better overall education, because it's more tailored to their learning styles. the topper for me is the fact that it seems like hs'd kids get more "real world" socialization, with people of all ages and types- not just peers.

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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Old 07-06-2010, 01:01 AM
 
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Thanks for the link I'll have to check it out.
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Old 07-06-2010, 02:12 AM
 
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When my sister had her babies, she wanted to homeschool. I thought she was nuts. After all, we'd gone to public school, and we turned out OK! Besides, homeschooled kids were weird. She ended up putting her kids in a private christian school, but she'd put the bug in my ear.

FF a decade & I finally start having kids. I don't remember how old he was, but I remember holding my sweet, precious, innocent baby and there was no way in Hades I was gonna institutionalize him! The party line was that if we were able to at the time, we'd homeschool. But now that he's 4.5 I know that nothing will stop me from homeschooling him. What can I say? I'm really into educating my kids. Way more than any teacher could be paid to care about educating my kids out of a room of 30+. KWIM?

Learning & growing & changing everyday!
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Old 07-06-2010, 02:39 AM
 
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What can I say? I'm really into educating my kids. Way more than any teacher could be paid to care about educating my kids out of a room of 30+. KWIM?
this is so true. i know there are are teachers out there who are passionate about what they do, but there is no way to compare the energy and passion a parent would put into their own child's education!

Leah- mama to Audrey born 12/29/03 and Gwyneth born 4/1/2009! Soon to be TTC #3!
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Old 07-07-2010, 04:03 PM
 
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this is so true. i know there are are teachers out there who are passionate about what they do, but there is no way to compare the energy and passion a parent would put into their own child's education!
Yes! I have felt so proud and happy teaching my children at home, I love hearing them read and knowing that I taught them that, or hearing them explain random interesting things to their grandparents and realize that everything they know was learned right here in this normal day to day life w/o public school, weather I taught them myself or facilitated it for them to learn on their own, it is empowering as a mother to know that I can DO this! I also love seeing them running around outside for hours on end, and the bonding this is helping create between them as they learn together, I feel good knowing that they are getting a great education while not being stuck inside every day for hours on end, especially while they are so little and full of life! I want to shelter them and I willingly admit that compared to most I am overprotective of them, in this day and age I take that as a compliment!

I'd never heard of the concept of homeschooling until I was about 14 years old and my parents became Christians and pulled my younger sister out of school due to some religious disputes they were having with the teacher and higher ups. My sister was 10 and they started homeschooling her, this was my first introduction to homeschool. My brother and I stayed in high school, though in hindsight I wish I were pulled out too.

A few years later my older brother went to college- Pensacola Christian College, which is the place where they develop Abeka Book hs curriculum and he married my SIL who was the oldest of 7 hs'd kids. Yet more exposure to some really awesome and NORMAL people!

So due to my exposure to hs, I always had it in the back of my mind that someday it was definitely an option I would consider for my family. As a Christian I had huge reservations about the public school system and how safe our children would be there- not only physically but spiritually and morally speaking, but I was still afraid to commit to it. It seemed daunting and so hard and what if I failed!? Plus, knowing that everyone around me in dh's family and at church was against it was very unsettling.

When ds' 4th birthday was approaching I found everyone was asking me if he would be starting JK in the fall!! What!!?? My BABY?! Going away from me for hours with a bunch of total strangers?? Not a chance! I realized I could never do it and no matter how hard it was I had to give hs a chance- I was ready! Thankfully, a well respected family with 4 of their 6 kids already in ps decided to hs shortly before we did, so they paved the way for us in our church, fielding most of the criticism and questions. It certainly helps that near 10 years later she has 3 awesome children graduated and holding steady jobs while going to college!

My oldest is now 8 and going into grade 3, dd is 6, we took a very relaxed approach to hs for the first early years yet they have learned so much and are doing amazing! We are quite determined to go all the way through high school.

Jewels & Jon (Married 11+ yrs)- Homeschooling, No Circ, BF, CD Mama to:
Alex 8 Gabby 6 (Homeborn!) Gideon 2.... chickens, ducks, cats and a dog
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Old 07-08-2010, 02:31 AM
 
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It's actually kind of funny. I was super against homeschooling for a long time. I knew a family who homeschooled and it was a total disaster. Some of their children didn't graduate from highschool. FF to now! I am a musician and a teacher. I teach singing and piano at a music school where all the kids go to public or private school, and I also teach at a church where all the kids are homeschooled. The difference between the kids is amazing. The kids who are in school are tired, burnt out and frankly not very well educated. It's sad because they are from a very affluent area and I know that a lot their parents are bending over backwards to live in such a "great" school district. The kids who are homeschooled, however seem eager to learn. They also seem way more well rested and healthy. They aren't jaded by the system. They aren't distracted by all the drama that happens at school. Their purpose in life is to learn, not to be popular, or fit in. They just seem so much more well adjusted and mature. After working with these kids, I've come to realize that children should be learning at home and not at some institution.

Wife to amazing dh, mama to dd 12/08
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Old 07-08-2010, 07:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sienna-forever View Post

My ds was three months premature, and although he is perfectly healthy, and very intelligent, he is very sensitive, and doesn't handle separation well. I have recently read the 'primal wound' by Nancy Verrier and she says that 'incubator babies' experience this in the same way as newborns placed for adoption. I definitely recognise some of those signs in him. He needs reassurance that we're here for him although he is very sociable.
That is really interesting! I'll have to read that book. My DD was a month premature, and was an "incubator baby" for her first 7 days. The worst 7 days of my life, I think. I can't even imagine how much you went through. Anyway, my DD is 7. My interest in homeschooling started in college. I studied sociology and always thought the institution of schools and their place in society was a bit strange. But then I had my daughter and she sealed the deal.

She's extremely sensitive (possibly SID) and can't really function normally in such a large group of people. Especially under a rigid schedule. I found a spot for her in a very small charter school for Kindy, but pulled her out half way through the year. Our home life had turned into hell. She was so stressed out, she was having tantrums and raging after school and giving herself stomach aches in the mornings before we left. This was from 4 half days/week, and she really didn't learn anything at school either, although she was perfectly well behaved and quiet. She daydreamed and drew. This girl doesn't do anything by the book. Totally the square peg in the round hole. She hates being taught, but loves to learn. She questions everything. She doesn't learn the way teachers generally teach. School really squashed her bright spirit and gave her a bad attitude towards anything academic. It was heartbreaking to see. I knew that for my child, it was doing more harm than good. I didn't want her to "fail" by school's standards and internalize that judgement. I also couldn't imagine not knowing what was going on during so much of her life once school started full time in 1st grade. It just seemed like way too much time away for her. We are all SO much happier now.
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Old 07-08-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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When I started researching schools, I realized that by home schooling my children I could save them untold hours of boredom and unproductive "work," allowing them time to achieve much more but still have much more time to play, travel, sleep ... Also that the social climate was not going to be hostile to my children and that not only would they have plenty of opportunity to have a social life with schooled friends, but also to take courses and sports with other children as much as they wanted.
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