he doesn't seem to want to do anything but play - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 09-03-2010, 09:20 AM
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As far as not getting into playing, I have the same problem and I've found that sometimes just being in the same room that they are playing in and being available to "mom, watch spiderman crash into the truck!" is enough. I've also found that sometimes it is just their "attention cups" that need to be filled. So instead of playing together, we play playdoh, build with legos, or do a craft together (things that are easier for me to really get into) until they are bored with me and want to go off and do their own thing.

I understand wanting structure but knowing it needs to be relaxed. I try to structure our weeks and months instead of our days. Monday we run errands, Tuesday is the library, Wednesday play date...and so on. I also come up with projects for ME during that time so that when the kids are off playing, I have something to work on. Something to show some progress in my life. Over the last two years, I've needed less structure and have become use to going with the flow.

Michele - Homeschooling mom to Hadley, (10/03 - the 23 week preemie miracle) and Noah, (08/05)
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#32 of 36 Old 09-03-2010, 09:54 PM
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Rather than academics, could you make sure you carve out a block of time where mama focuses on him and helps him do things that might be hard to do on his own - science experiments, cooking, play, etc. That way he will have a predictable block of time to explore, where you can fascilliate.

Children deserve the respect of puzzling it out.
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#33 of 36 Old 09-05-2010, 01:00 AM
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I just got back from vacation this morning, so I'm just darting in and out quickly, but here's a link to my page of links to a number of interesting articles, most by educational professionals or researchers, emphasizing the crucial importance of play in those early years, and not as a vehicle for delivering learning about the 3Rs, but just as a very important end in itself as a foundation for everything else in the future: preschool/kindergarten learning activities. - Lillia
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#34 of 36 Old 09-05-2010, 02:52 AM
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A couple of other thoughts. The issues mentioned below come up pretty often:

he SAYS he's interested in ______, but when it's time to do ______, he'll do anything he can to put it off until later. he whines, he cries, he says "i can't do it". you name it, and he has an excuse.
The thing is that when a child shows interest in something, it doesn't mean he wants to then go about making a formal study of it - his curiosity can generally be satisfied with simple conversations in which he's told a bit about it, or in brief activities he expresses interest in, or being shown pictures or videos and having it left at that. If a child asks about something we don't particularly consider "educational," we just supply what they want to know and leave it at that rather than make a big fuss about it - but they balk when we suddenly make an issue out of something they just really don't want to go on and on about. If you imagine how it must seem to a child, they suddenly see the parent get relatively intense and demanding about something they simply don't see as that big a deal, and I would imagine it's pretty hard to sort out why.

and try ask him some questions. "i don't know" was all he could come up with. to every.single.question.
This is very, very common, especially in children that age - we see threads here about it every now and then, with just that wording. "I don't know" is basically all they can come up with to explain that they don't understand why they're being asked all that and that they want it all to just go away. People will say, "I know he knows it, because he had just said _________," or something to that effect - but that means a parent is asking a child questions to get him to feed back things they know he knows - and that make no sense to him. I just read a book about bears in Alaska - I'd really balk if someone in my family started asking me questions about it that sprang not from curiosity about bears but from some other motivation such as testing to see whether I understood what I'd read or for some other reason I couldn't even begin to understand. Since I'm an adult, I could tell them I don't care to participate in that line of questioning, but all a small child can generally come up with is "I don't know." They're not lying - they're just trying to cope with their limited ability to articulate their frustration with having to phrase things the way a parent wants to hear them or to rehash things they just really don't want to have to rehash, and they don't understand why they're being put through that. Again, that's very, very common. Here's a post that links to a number of threads where it's discussed.

- Lillian
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#35 of 36 Old 09-17-2010, 01:10 AM
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Try "Handwriting without tears, " when you think he is ready.

You can also make up a game or story about the letters, and how they go from top to bottom, left to right.

When my kids learned to write (in school), they were never taught how to properly form the letters. Handwriting practice is often omitted in schools today. But--they both have messy writing, and would have benefited form some.
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#36 of 36 Old 09-17-2010, 02:08 AM
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A couple of thoughts:
First, was he in school before? How long has he been out? Some of it does sound like deschooling potentially.

Secondly, your desire for structure and his desire for low academics can both be met. You can structure your day for different types of activities without any of them being traditional academics. I still do that with my preschooler--messy active play, outdoor activity, quiet activity, lunch.

Third, for things that my child has struggled with in homeschooling, I have found it useful to arrange subjects with a built-in reward or downtime. IE-Writing before the most beloved Music, to encourage her to finish the Writing quickly and not complain! Harder subjects earlier or just after a break/snack so the brain is fresher/more focused.

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
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