what will she be when she grows up? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Many of us are "full time" moms and have either never had outside careers or let go of them. Some of miss the office, some don't but this is what we chose and we derive profound joy as well as creative and intellectual stimulation from mothering.

What about our daughters? What message do we send them? My dd (age 7) has said almost everything under the sun in response to what she wants to be when she grows up but yesterday we happened to talk about "the future" and she said that she wanted to get married, have a baby and homeschool her children, if they wanted to.

Why did my heart sink? Why do I feel like rushing out and getting biographies of women who have achieved great things in their careers? Why do I not want my dd thinking from now on that she will be doing the same thing I am doing?

What example am I setting...???

help!?!?

relaxed-unschooler mama to dd (2003). hoping for second one. love being a mama!!
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#2 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 12:43 AM
 
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I have only very recently become a SAHM. I'll be happy if my DD grows up to be a SAHM parent. I would like her to have something that she is passionate about and does before and after raising children though. I expect to work again someday, when my children are older and may well be homeschooling but will be more independent about it. I also let her know that you can be many different things in a lifetime, and we talk about the things I have been/studied besides parenthood. I also didn't have children young though, and was still on the younger end at 30 to start having kids for my geographic area.

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#3 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 08:22 AM
 
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If I had a daughter, I'd be very happy if she wanted to sah and homeschool her children. I do that for a reason--I believe babies and small children are designed to need their mamas, and we are designed to uniquely fill those needs and it benefits both when we can arrange things so that we're at home. I know lots of people disagree with me, but that's why I don't believe that i am a bad example.

Unless you make SAH a *rule* for right living and emotionally blackmail her into doing it, your daughter will grow up and do what she wants to do. If she wants to be a SAHM, your grandbabies will benefit from that. And if she sees you doing other stuff once she doesn't need you, she will understand that the time at home is a season, not a 'life-sentance'.
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#4 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 09:07 AM
 
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I think about this. I tell my dd all about my careers and jobs before she was born. She sees me doing other things that I enjoy like painting, artwork, crocheting, sewing, gardening and we talk about that. We talk about the different jobs that people do and how I've chosen to do this job because I think it's important. She's still really young, but when she's older I want to impress on her that I had a child and started mothering after I went to college and had a career which is what I would like to see her doing. I really don't want her growing up wanting to get preggo at 18 and be a sahm. I'm not trying to knock it but my mom did that and I saw firsthand how difficult that is and want my daughter to get to know herself before she starts mothering and being a wife/gf/partner.
Of course, life happens and I love her no matter what she chooses to do but will encourage her to live her own life first. I see a lot of young moms and many of them are not happy because they didn't have time to develop themselves first. I KNOW I wouldn't have been a good mom had I got pregnant before college and jobs. This isn't against anyone who had babies young either by choice or circumstance but it's my personal wish for my own daughter given my own personal life experiences. I highly value education, learning, and worldliness. I think it would be awesome if she gets to travel, get an education, have some awesome life experiences and then start a family if she chooses. I also enjoy reading her feminist folk tales and female-heroine stories like "The Paper Bag Princess".

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#5 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 10:32 AM
 
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I don't think it's good for a person's life to be defined primarily by their occupation. I did a quick google search to remember the statistics, and as of January, "Only 45% of Americans are satisfied with their work" and "Only 51% of people find their jobs interesting." I can understand people who love their careers defining themselves with it, but the rest of us? My job is not my life; it's just something I do to fund my life.

If you paint your whole life but never make any money off it, you're still an artist.
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#6 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 10:58 AM
 
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Do you want your daughter's identity to be tied down by a job or career choice? I have developed my own interests, hobbies and passions not connected to working outside the home. For example, I am running a marathon in a few weeks. Recently, when someone asked my 5 yo what his mommy does, he told them that I am a runner. So, I think the best role model is one that lives a productive, passionate lifestyle, not neccesarily one who has a job or career.

J - Homeschooling mom to H (1/20/05), Z (11/6/06) and C (8/22/08)
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#7 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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While I'm primarily a SAHM, I am also busy with plenty of other stuff that I see as valuable. I work [very] part-time as a physician and as a Suzuki violin teacher, I'm the treasurer on the Board of Directors of one non-profit society and an officer of the Board for another larger one. Like Love_My_Babies I'm a distance runner. I'm a violinist and violist and an active performer around the community. So I don't think my kids are seeing the world as "mommies stay home and daddies have jobs."

I think it's really important for everyone to be contributing to the world around them and to their family. I make sure I do both, and that my dh does both, and that my kids do both. The balance of within-home and out-of-home contributions varies depending on the person and varies over one's lifetime. It's a fluid thing, not defined by gender, and I know my kids see it that way.

Even if for a few years a homeschooling mom is strictly an in-home contributor, I think she's providing the most immediate daily model to her kids of organizational competence, hard work and leadership. Which is a pretty good model for future productive citizens to have, I think. Dad may be providing those things during the day too, but he's doing it mostly out of sight of the children.

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#8 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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Well, since I personally think being a sah, homeschooling mama is an amazing & meaningful job, my heart sinks just a tiny bit everytime my 19 yo dd tells me she wants to possibly develop a journalism career! I tell her to try her best to avoid student loans because she won't want to stick her husband with them when she gets married & becomes a sahm. And yes I say this all with a smile & a laugh, & my dd knows that I will be very happy & proud of any job she chooses, as long as she's happy. I just hope she's happiest by being a sahm.

North Idaho rural living treehugger.gif mama to: 22 yo DD, 15 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. stillheart.gif And someone new coming this Christmas! stillheart.gif

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#9 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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My middle child explained to me gently when she was 6 that when she grows up, her kids are going to go to daycare, because she's going to have a job. My girls seem to be well aware that mothers often work, and I encourage them to be planning for a career. I would be happy if any of my kids decided to be a SAH homeschooling parent when they grow up, but if that doesn't work out, I hope they are able to support themselves either doing work that is meaningful to them, or doing work that allows them time to do what is meaningful to them. I would hate for my dds to grow up with "SAHM" as their only career plan, because I fear it would make them vulnerable to getting stuck in a loveless or abusive marriage. But my kids are interested in many many things, so I think they're more likely to want to do too much than focus only on being a mom.

I do agree with the PP about avoiding debt. Debt is handed out to kids and young adults so easily, and too many people find they've thrown away a bunch of options they never considered because they were sold on an over-priced education before they even knew what they wanted to do. But that's another soapbox.
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#10 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 03:27 PM
 
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I am biased, but I think being a SAHM who homeschools is a wonderful career that can have an impact on the world...she would be be doing "great things" to care for her family in that way. Sure we don't make it into a lot of news stories and biographies but that is not what makes people great.

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#11 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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The example that you are setting is that you love your child and that there are many different paths in life. (And no, I'm not saying those who work or send to school don't love.)

My mother worked full-time, went back to school numerous times for advanced degrees and was gone a lot.

And I stay home and homeschool.

There is no right or wrong way in life. Life is full of seasons. Some people have jobs and then have kids later. Some people have kids early (me, at 24) and then will have their "career" later.

Hopefully, my daughter, who will be 20 when I'm 44, will see me as an adult and watch how I treat the different seasons of my life. She'll see me going back to my original career (journalism), or perhaps getting a different degree or pursuing a passion.

We are not throwing our lives away...you should take it as a compliment that your daughter wants to emulate you. She could have said, "Well, I don't know... but I want to do the opposite of anything you do."

Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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#12 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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I am biased, but I think being a SAHM who homeschools is a wonderful career that can have an impact on the world...she would be be doing "great things" to care for her family in that way. Sure we don't make it into a lot of news stories and biographies but that is not what makes people great.
I agree. I don't feel demeaned by my job. I think that it is more harmful to women to perpetuate the idea that staying at home to hs or just raise children is some horrible inferior thing to do.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#13 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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I agree. I don't feel demeaned by my job. I think that it is more harmful to women to perpetuate the idea that staying at home to hs or just raise children is some horrible inferior thing to do
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#14 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 07:59 PM
 
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I agree. I don't feel demeaned by my job. I think that it is more harmful to women to perpetuate the idea that staying at home to hs or just raise children is some horrible inferior thing to do.
I don't feel demeaned either, but I don't want my daughters to feel like they need marry and have kids to have a fulfilling life. I want them to have options, and I want them to know they can support themselves and their children if need be.
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#15 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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Remember that she's playing with career ideas in general. Don't feel you need to take SAHM any more or less seriously than ballet dancer, firefighter or anything else she's come up with. I mean, you wouldn't seriously want her trying to become a professional ballet dancer, with all the body and psychological stress that comes along with that, right? But if she suggested it, you'd probably smile and nod, and possibly even look into ballet lessons, because you would know that it's most likely a passing thing. At 7, I wanted to be an archaeologist. By the time I graduated from high school, that idea held no appeal whatsoever

I can see SAHM being a bigger worry, because it's an easy position to just fall into by default, and can be hard to get out of without good support. But at this point, it's really still just an idea she's playing with.

If you're worried (which I wouldn't be now, but if it's still her life ambition come the preteen/teen years and you're concerned), you can seek out homeschooling or stay at home parent families with different structures to get her exposed to other possibilities. In my old homeschooling group, it was very common for one parent to work full time, and one to work a part-time job, or a job with a non-traditional schedule. In some cases, one or both worked from home. There were a few dads who were the primary homeschooling parent or regular attendees at park days. My DH is self-employed at home while I've been a full-time student the whole time we've been homeschooling so far and I will, at some point in the hopefully nearish future, be working 2-3 12-hour shifts a week (officially "full time", but with a flexible schedule that would allow us to homeschool even if DH had a more typical work schedule himself).

Or, as others have suggested, you can do this yourself. I kind of wonder how much of your anxiety about her future is rooted in some sort of dissatisfaction or anxiety about your own life. Examine what's going on in your head (financial stress, feeling you haven't accomplished enough of what you want in life, fear you're not contributing enough to society, not sure what you'll do after the kids are grown...), and see if there's anything you can do to address that. Find (or create) a flexible job, volunteer somewhere, find outside activities, take classes (towards a degree or just whatever looks interesting) at a community college - online or via some other form of distance ed if you like the idea of "homeschooling" yourself or can't otherwise work it into your schedule.

And, if it's still an issue once she's in her teens, you can be blunt about how being a SAHM is a perfectly worthy career, but the pay totally sucks, and it puts one in a very dependent position from which it can be hard to escape, so it's good to have some sort of other ambition or fallback plan. Just like you'd presumably be upfront about the downsides of any other career you were concerned about.

DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#16 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 08:52 PM
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See, for me, being a SAHM is a choice. I am not "stuck" here like many women felt they were in earlier generations. I went to college, got a degree, held a job. . . all with the intention of staying home once I had children of my own. I like that I know that I am prepared and am capable of supporting myself should I ever need to. But right now, I like knowing that my contribution to the family is great even if it isn't financial.

For my dds (I have 3)--I hope that they will have the luxure of choosing whether or not they stay home. For many families, it isn't a choice--they can't afford to have a parent stay home. Either way, I want them to prepare themself for a future that may include a career. That way, if they need to work--they have a greater chance for a well paying job that they might even enjoy and has potential for advancement. Also, even if they think they want to have children, many people struggle with fertility. I certainly wouldn't want them skipping a college education or other life preparation simply because of the family they want to have. By getting my degree and then choosing to stay home, I feel empowered and wonderful. I hope that whatever my children do with their life, that they get to feel such empowerment and that they are in charge of their own destiny (to some degree).

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#17 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 11:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for thoughtful and insightful replies. yes, it is true, I also had dd after college and several years of working full-time. I also imagine that I will do more other things a few years later though that later seems to keep getting later

The funny thing I realized, is that I currently do various "intellectual things" like write articles on social/economic issues .... all on the computer. She perhaps associates "working" with "working on computer" more than "going to office."

Anyway I agree that age 7 all options are still quite open and I need not take this to be any more definitive than anything else on her long list. I also talked to her yesterday about being able to do / be more than one thing (without specifically mentioning motherhood) and she said, "of course."

I really wish we could arrange society so that women could (if they wanted) have babies in their 20s and then have plenty of time work on careers later. Some people like Savoir Faire manage to do this but how wonderful it would be if women could choose this with confidence. As a society we should have that Savoir Faire ;-)

Now we end up using the prime of our youth chasing careers and then wondering later how to balance and also (like me) risk facing difficulty having children. All because we figured that if we had children first we would face difficulty pursuing a meaningful career (even if we had enough skills to get a job for income if needed).

relaxed-unschooler mama to dd (2003). hoping for second one. love being a mama!!
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#18 of 28 Old 09-23-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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Just a couple more thoughts on the topic:

At age 7, most kids just idolize whatever it is their parents do. Whether their dad is a firefighter or a janitor or a bus driver or a corporate manager, it MUST be the COOLEST thing in the world to do because MY DADDY does it. So if your DD is saying she wants to be a hsing sahm, it just means that she thinks YOU ARE REALLY COOL and she wants to be cool too.

As they get older, they don't idolize us in quite the same ways (awwww)... and they learn about all kinds of options and they get their own jobs. Or not, if their personal fulfillment comes from raising their families. Which is fine.

We come from the generations where women had to fight against the idea that we were SUPPOSED to stay at home and do nothing else. So there was an idea planted that women who stayed home anyway were those who were 'giving in' to the system and not living up to the feminine potential. But this should no longer be true... We should recognize that since we do have the choice to have a career, then any woman who chooses to stay home does so honestly and for the right reasons. She's not MADE to do it, she WANTS to do it, and that is true women's lib.

But she's still just 7.

Anyway, my other point was about the idea of the example that you're setting... Think about the generations we came from. The first generations of career women were raised by moms who were, for the most part, SAHM's, right? Yet these women overcame that "negative influence", if you want to see it that way, and set their own paths.

Heather, mom to Caileigh 12/06 and aspie ADHD prodigy David 05/98 :intact lact
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#19 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 09:00 AM
 
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I don't feel demeaned either, but I don't want my daughters to feel like they need marry and have kids to have a fulfilling life. I want them to have options, and I want them to know they can support themselves and their children if need be.
I didn't say any of those things. We are not all called to be married w/ children (IMO). SAH doesn't always work out for a myriad of reasons. However, the continuation of the demeaning of staying home is bad for all women. I am raising my children w/ the best education I can and if they choose to pursue it further fabulous if not, then that is their choice. I will not see them if a lesser person for that choice. I do not judge my success or anyone else's on a college degree or career. I more worry about what kind of person they will be. What their values are and how they live them out.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#20 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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I haven't read all of the responses yet, but I wanted to share a personal example that I think illustrates that the most important thing is to encourage your daughter to follow her dreams, regardless of what they are.

When I was growing up, my mother ALWAYS worked (I think maybe she stayed home for the first 6 months of my life, but that was it. I was actually lucky because she went back to work 4 days after my brother was born). She had to work, couldn't afford to stay home. My dad stayed home for a bit when he was unemployed, but not that long. Also, most of the women in my family worked, including my grandmother.

So I grew up thinking that women were SUPPOSED to go out to work, although most of my school peers had mothers who stayed home. I was convinced that women shouldn't stay home, that it was bad. Then it came time for me to have children of my own. I really, really WANTED to stay home, but felt guilty about it, like I was doing something wrong. And not because my mother made me feel guilty. She just wanted me to be happy. And she, herself, hated working full time when we were young. She wanted to work part-time, but couldn't.

I did choose to stay home, BUT it took me a LONG time to feel comfortable with my decision. I really struggled. And if I'd had a mother who was pushing me to work, I might NOT have stayed home. Society was already sending a VERY strong message that smart women don't stay home.

Anyway, the point of my story is to say that if you encourage ANY direction over another for you daughter, you may cause her conflict later on in life, regardless of what it is you're promoting. And she's likely to feel conflict anyway. Even though we've come a long way, our society still does a really good job of making women feel guilty no matter what they choose. I think we should encourage our daughters to choose happiness, regardless of where that takes them. Since your daughter will almost certainly feel pressure from other sources at some point in her life, it would help her to have someone in her life who encourages her to just be happy and not worry about the opinions of others.

Alyson: loving wife to Iain; unschooling mom to Abby (8) and Caleb (5). Also pro
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#21 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 12:23 PM
 
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My mom was a SAHM/housewife *primarily* for her entire adult life. Or so it kind of seemed to me, but in fact she was my father's business partner and worked alongside him in most of the businesses he ran. Not all, because she is disabled (CP), so she didn't do much on the farm when they had one, for example.

I held a few fairly-low-paying but interesting jobs over the years -- armed security, QA at a call center, medical assistant (acting as an RN, probably not legally) at a clinic for disadvantaged youth and brand new immigrants to the US, ESL tutor, etc. Otherwise, I was a SAHM for most of my life.

Then I discovered somewhat accidentally that I could write and edit others' writing, and make a nice living off of it, so my husband became a SAHD for a few years. But then for various reasons (my health, my husband's difficulty with homeschooling), we decided to reverse roles again, and now I'm the SAH parent and he's finishing off the last semester of his degree and will be going back to work early next year.

I never went to college -- or as I like to say, I unschooled college -- but found a lot of opportunities for interesting and rewarding work, anyway. I did consider college and medical school at one point and decided against it because my family matters more to me than my career and it would have been a real hardship on everyone. No regrets.

My DD (6) doesn't seem to have much in the way of gender roles established in her mind and I hope it stays that way. My parents managed to raise me very gender-neutrally and I hope I can do the same. Even my very old, very old-fashioned father (he's a WWII vet) supported the idea of me doing many "typically male" things I thought about doing when I grew up.

As for DD, I'll be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life. I do hope that if she has a career while she has young children, she will live near DH and I and will let us care for her kids while she's at work instead of sending them to daycare.

Interestingly, she's never expressed a desire to be a SAHM but she is adamant that her kids will be homeschooled or will go to a really great private school. In fact, for the last year or so, her aspiration has been to open her own private school, which she describes as something like a Sudbury school. As for kids, she plans to adopt older (4-6 year old) children from India and enroll them in her school.

I think it's a cool idea and would be thrilled if she really does this, but I know she'll probably change her mind a million times before she grows up.

Before that, she wanted to be a marine biologist, or to hold a bunch of different interesting jobs like her grandpa. He's a WWII vet and was a barber, a vice detective, and owned at least a dozen different businesses -- all successful -- through the years. For a while she wanted to "write articles" like me.

If she decides to "just" be a SAHM, I'd be fine with that, too. Everyone in my family has had kids at an early age (19ish) and it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I think not everyone is ready at that age... I don't know, maybe it's a product of how people are raised today. Certainly it wasn't that long ago that having children at 16-18 was the norm for women, and I think they did alright as parents.

Of course it's so much better that women today have choices, but I don't think that *obligates* them to choose a career, either. The point is choice. Same with men, SAHDs rock!

So I'd be happy with whatever my DD chooses when she grows up, but I think I would be kind of sad if she put her children in daycare at 6 weeks old...

--K
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#22 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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I just wanted to add that my mother was a career women. She had to work for financial reasons, but she also wanted to work, and the job she had, and still has, was her dream job. I wanted to mention this so that people know that my previous post wasn't an example of a woman who worked in a crappy low-paying job, but one of a woman who followed, and realized, her childhood dreams.

Alyson: loving wife to Iain; unschooling mom to Abby (8) and Caleb (5). Also pro
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#23 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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I think we should encourage our daughters to choose happiness, regardless of where that takes them.
This.
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#24 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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I want my girls to be able to support themselves and have a path they can go back to if needed, but if it works out for them to be SAHMs I'm fine with that.

Personally, I'd rather they had kids in their late 20s/early 30s. I had my first when I was 36 and the second when I was 39. I didn't have any problems with pregnancy, and got to have a lot of fun and fritter away a lot of time before kids entered the picture, but now that I have kids I've been sandwiched between taking care of my family and taking care of my parents. My mom had me when she was 38, so she's in her 80s. For almost all of dd1's life and absolutely all of dd2's life my parents have been elderly and ill. My dad died this spring after a long, long time being in poor health and my mom is not doing great either. My MIL is 15 yrs younger and can be so much more active and involved in the kids' lives. They can have sleepovers, etc. That would just be too much for my amost 85 yr old mom. So, I'm fine with them having kids when/if they decide, but selfishly for myself, but also for them I'd hope it would be a little sooner than I did. I've seen first hand what it can be like when you have your child at 38 and then your child has kids around the same time. It's hard. 28 or 30 would be so much better.

If they want to stay home and take care of 'em and they work that out with their partner then I'm all for it. I'd be happy for them to be just about anything that's not too dangerous (not sure about dd1's recent fixation on sky-diving). I think they've seen a variety of examples, and I do some freelance work from home so it's not so bad. I would like to pick up more, though, to set a better example, or at least pick up the house more!! Not setting a great exammple of the "homemaker" either!

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#25 of 28 Old 09-24-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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Many of us are "full time" moms and have either never had outside careers or let go of them. Some of miss the office, some don't but this is what we chose and we derive profound joy as well as creative and intellectual stimulation from mothering.

What about our daughters? What message do we send them? My dd (age 7) has said almost everything under the sun in response to what she wants to be when she grows up but yesterday we happened to talk about "the future" and she said that she wanted to get married, have a baby and homeschool her children, if they wanted to.

Why did my heart sink? Why do I feel like rushing out and getting biographies of women who have achieved great things in their careers? Why do I not want my dd thinking from now on that she will be doing the same thing I am doing?

What example am I setting...???

help!?!?
Have you read the book Hold On to Your Kids by Dr Neufield (I think that's how you spell his last name)? If not, I'd highly recommend it.

He references studies in which teens were asked to rate the importance of attributes that described their parents and every single one of them rated "how much time my parents spend with me" most important.

Their parents' careers? Came in at the bottom every time.

He points out that kids really do not care what you do, what you wear, how many hobbies you have, how well you cook, clean, bake, multi-task, etc. They just want to know that you're there for them.

I think being happy with the decisions she's made and being as involved as possible in her dc lives are the best gifts a mom can give her children.

There are plenty of women who grow up to have successful careers whose own mothers stayed home with them. IMO the goal is to let them make their own decisions that will lead them to a happy, fulfilled adult life.

HTH!
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#26 of 28 Old 09-25-2010, 09:54 AM
 
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I'm afraid that my daughters won't be able to find supportive, faithful husbands who will want/ let them SAH and homeschool. It seems like such men are rather rare!

I definitely am encouraging them to have a career, not to date seriously (i.e. looking for marriage) until they are out of college. My hope is that they can SAH and homeschool if their heart tells them too, but if it doesn't or if they have an unsupportive husband, they will have a solid education to fall back on.

My husband wants me to SAH and he supports HSing but he tells me most of the guys he works with don't understand him-- their wives work and many of the men are unfaithful . It just give me dim hope for my girls. Sorry to be a pessimist!
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#27 of 28 Old 09-25-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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They are out there! I've got one of them. I think you just have to travel in the right circles... if she starts dating other homeschooled boys, they're more likely to support homeschooling when they're older. And I would hope that an intelligent man married to a woman that he loves and respects who was homeschooled herself would recognize that it must be a good thing.

But I agree there's a lot of duds out there. I really think there are lots of great guys though, you just have to avoid the 'usual' dating places.

My hubby hadn't particularly or consciously thought about homeschooling or attachment parenting etc, before we got together. But usually when I'd talk to him about something he'd just say "well, yeah, isn't that just common sense?" He was so nicely un-spoiled by popular culture, I guess primarily because he's an introvert and avoided the usual social circles -- he's a science geek.

And my brother and his wife (she's another MDC mama) are also total attachment parents and radical unschoolers to boot... I never would have thunk it when we were growing up! My youngest brother and his wife are childless, but they seem to agree with the principles as well.

Maybe the trick is to go for the geeks rather than the jocks... They'll tend to be more swayed by good research, anthropological studies, and independent thought rather than just going with the masses.

Heather, mom to Caileigh 12/06 and aspie ADHD prodigy David 05/98 :intact lact
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#28 of 28 Old 09-26-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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My 7yo dd has said that she wants to get married, have kids and homeschool them too. She has also said that she wants to be a doula and a midwife. Nothing about that bothers me. She knows that there are all different career choices out there and those are the ones that she's interested in right now.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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