Losing my confidence already and he's only 3! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 04:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is 3, will be 4 in april, and I am already panicking about homeschooling! I know in my heart its what I want to do, but I am a worrier by nature. I don't really know WHY i'm worrying, I just have a general feeling of unease. I think it could be because I received a letter from the LA last week, saying that the final date for putting my childs name down for a school place was approaching (the date  has now passed, and I haven't put his name down of course because I do intend to keep him home) I think its made it a lot more real now!

 

I know I don't want him to go to school, so i'm not regretting not getting him a place, but its just that now its official, I feel under pressure, from myself mainly!

 

I am driving myself mad worrying about it all: 'Am I doing enough?' 'Is this the best thing for him?' 'What if I'm not good enough?' etc etc etc, just constantly doubting myself and my abilities to do this for him.

 

He is doing really well though, he is polite, friendly to both adults and children. Learning every day. Yet still, I am worrying!

 

I think mainly, I worry that I don't spend enough one to one time with him, I mean he is with me all the time, but of course I'm also doing chores, cooking, taking care of the pets etc. just the usual stuff we all have to do. Yet for some reason, I can't seem to shake the idea of sitting with him for hours at a time (which I know in my head, is not really the best thing for him anyway, especially at the tender age of 3!)

I do read to him every day, we do a craft most days, he has play dates, he goes to story time! Looking at it written down, it looks fine! But why do I still feel guilty, like i'm not doing enough with him? Especially if say, I'm feeling unwell (I have just gotten over the flu) tired, not particularly energetic, those days I feel really guilty! Like i'm being lazy. But we still DO lots together, am I just being hard on myself?

 

I just am having a major confidence crisis at the moment.

 

Anyone know where i'm coming from? And maybe if anyone who also little ones this age, how do you feel you are doing with regards to day to day stuff?


Me and hubby, plus ds 6, angel dd, little mc angels and finally our little rainbow baby, 30 weeker miracle.
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#2 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 05:20 AM
 
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It sounds great to me!  I think its easy to get into a not-doing-enough guilt rut, especially if you read a lot of homeschooly/teachery blogs...  relax! You;re doing great!  He's THREE!  Have fun... 

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#3 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 06:07 AM
 
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You're just a good mom who wants to do the best!  I worry some days too, and then I think about what other kids I know are doing, or what DD would be doing if she were at preschool, and it calms my fears a little. 

At this age the kiddos can just play, really.  But if you want to make sure you are doing enough/reaching enough, make a checklist for yourself of all the things you want to cover.  Don't give it a timeline, but maybe an end date.  So by November 2011, you want to cover XYZ.

 

 

 


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#4 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 08:44 AM
 
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Yes, you're being too hard on yourself :)

 

It's very normal to have increasing doubts as you approach school-age!

 

What helped me a lot was joining the local homeschool group, even though I wasn't "officially" homeschooling yet. We went to park days and other age-appropriate activities, and both DS and I had a chance to make friends (many of the people already homeschooling had younger siblings the age of my kids), and I got to see it in action and have a chance to ask questions.

 

Unless you're sick to the point of being unable to function on a frequent basis, which it doesn't sound like you are, don't worry about sick days. Remember, public school only runs 180 days a year, and you don't have to run on the public school schedule - you can choose to continue working on weekends or during public school breaks. Also, since you're able to work more efficiently, you may not need the same amount of time to cover the same amount of material.

 

Also, most homeschooling families will deal with things like pregnancy/birth, moving, serious illness, or other stress that may impact homeschooling on a more long-term basis. They still do fine. It evens out in the end.


DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#5 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 08:56 AM
 
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Seriously, relax. You will LOVE home schooling!!!!! The crafts and fun parts, that is what it is all about. The academic stuff is so easy. Most home schoolers actually end up way ahead of public schoolers, even when they barely do anything. The schools really do so little. It is just the Mystique of the schools that gets us. We are not inside the classroom and we imagine, from the outside, that something magical is happening and that we don't get it and we cannot do it ourselves. But nothing magical is happening and kids in the schools are doing so little. "Schools in crisis" is all over the news.

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#6 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Everytime a teacher is out, they have a sub who does not much but have the kids color pages. There is so much busy work. They usually take about 10 sick days. Even if they are not sick, they will still max out their sick days.

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#7 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 09:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

Everytime a teacher is out, they have a sub who does not much but have the kids color pages. There is so much busy work. They usually take about 10 sick days. Even if they are not sick, they will still max out their sick days.


Forgive me for crashing as I understand that this is the homeschooling forum, but this kind of hyperbolic overarching nonsense does not do anyone any favors. I have never known a teacher who prefers to have a sub teach. My classroom never had a day without at least one of its teachers. School can certainly be more than just "mystique". Many (dare I say most) kids do more than just color.

Homeschooling can be a great choice but painting the alternative with such an essentializing brush to make that choice look/feel better is pure dogma.

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#8 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 09:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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:)

 

I can't express how much I needed that reassurance, so thank you! I am so hard on myself I know. That is the main thing I want to try and work on at the moment is believing in myself more, and relaxing more too.

 

I think another thing at the moment is that the weather here is awful, so cold and raining all the time which is making me miserable!

I am looking forward to the spring, and being able to get outside more, letting my son play outside which he loves, especially as we have chickens and vegetable beds which he can help with, so many learning opportunities. At the moment though, going outside just makes me feel cold and grumpy! Think the cabin fever is setting in a bit.

I like the idea of having a checklist of things I'd like to cover, I think that will help me to calm down a bit too!


Me and hubby, plus ds 6, angel dd, little mc angels and finally our little rainbow baby, 30 weeker miracle.
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#9 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 10:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sienna-forever View Post
I think another thing at the moment is that the weather here is awful, so cold and raining all the time which is making me miserable!

I am looking forward to the spring, and being able to get outside more, letting my son play outside which he loves, especially as we have chickens and vegetable beds which he can help with, so many learning opportunities. At the moment though, going outside just makes me feel cold and grumpy! Think the cabin fever is setting in a bit.


I bet so! We're feeling a lot the same way, and I'm glad the weather is turning reasonable for things that involve leaving the house.


DS born 6/03, DD1 born 9/06, DD2 born 10/10, DD3 born 4/14.
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#10 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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Don't lose confidence - they get a lot easier than they are at 3!  I never felt like I could get anything done when dd was 3 - and that's not even related to homeschooling as she was in preschool at the time. LOL  Don't hurry and don't worry - you have tons of time.  

 

I really wish I had never worried about homeschooling.  The past 7 years have worked out so well and I'd really like to have those hours back now. Instead of worrying, I could have been having fun!  What was I thinking!  

 

I still worry occasionally - more about social stuff - as my dd is 12 and lots of friends are thinking about or heading to school for high school.  I'm trying to remind myself of my own advice and not worry about this either.  She's happy and she wants to continue homeschooling.  We'll deal with keeping connections and finding new ones. 

 

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#11 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 10:32 PM
 
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I think it would do you wonders to read the book, "You Are Your Child's First Teacher".  It was one of the books that set me on the right road to homeschooling even though it's not meant to be for homeschoolers.  My kids have been home schooled all their lives and now ready to try out high school next year. It's been such a great journey for all of us.

 

 I can't recommend that book enough.

http://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Childs-First-Teacher/dp/0890879672

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#12 of 12 Old 02-01-2011, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for the book recommendation, it looks like its exactly the thing I could benefit from.

I definitely need to stop worrying so much and enjoy the time with him, he has already 'grown up' so fast in these few years and I don't want to worry away the next few too!


Me and hubby, plus ds 6, angel dd, little mc angels and finally our little rainbow baby, 30 weeker miracle.
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