How did you decide whether or not to homeschool? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-24-2011, 05:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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For some reason it seems so controversial in the mainstream community. I mentioned I may want to home school my DD at least for a few grades and then let her decide what she wants to do, and I got horrific responses from family and friends. I was accused of not being able to let go and let her experience life, having an unhealthy attachment with her, and that it would be the worst thing I could do to her. People talk bout it like I'm throwing her in a cage or something. I tried to explain there is a huge network and she would have lots of friends, but it seems no one believes it or refuses to.

 

I do not see public school as an option. I could only imagine putting my kids (DD and future kids) into a private school, probably a private Christian school, or homeschooling. I would imagine private school to be expensive so that was one reason I was thinking of homeschooling until say age 8 or so. Also I did not do well in school and I am not sure I could handle the work past a certain level. I feel like I want my kids to experience both types of schooling though. Has anyone else done that? Was it harder for the kids that way?

 

What made you decide to home school?

 


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#2 of 7 Old 03-24-2011, 07:00 AM
 
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for me, public school just didn't feel right - and over time (my DD is just now 5, and i just made the final decision to HS a few months ago) i got tired of people saying 'oh, she'll be fine!' .. yeah, sure she probably would be fine but why would i want "fine" for my DD when we could have something that is better than "fine" - why would i decide that because my DD is 5, i need to stop doing what feels right for our family?   i started out thinking i'd just do it for a few years but after talking to more people who home school (as opposed to all those people who told me i was crazy) i decided we'll stick with it..  the 'you're too attached' people have been after us  since my DD was an infant (too much breastfeeding, cosleeping, baby wearing etc) ..

 

what made me feel better real quick was reading some John Gatto books/essays .. (http://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/086571231X

 

 


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#3 of 7 Old 03-24-2011, 02:13 PM
 
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When my first was a tiny baby, I was sitting on my new best friend's couch.  She was a new mom too, and started to talk to me about HSing.  It had never been on my radar before at all.

 

That was almost 12 years ago, but what I remember coming away with was:

 

Was I really going to carry him, wear him, nurse him, sleep with him, listen to him, respect him as a unique person, just to decide because he turned an arbitrary age to now throw him in with a bunch of other kids to be treated as a number, to a complete stranger, and make him ask permission in front of a crowd of people just to pee, and maybe get told no?

 

I looked down at my little sleeping guy in my arms and decided maybe that was not such a good idea.  =P

 

I went home and brought it up to DH, and he is such an easy-going guy, he just said whatever I thought was best since I was the one that would be in charge of it.

 

There were hard times.  I had a family member stop talking to me because I didn't register him for pre-school.  Clearly I was ruining him for life.

 

But overall, we have always had support and it has gone really well.

Whether is was other LLL moms, or an actual HS support group, or a church where most people HS, we have always found other like-minded families.

 

Also, I don't think *you* doing good in school has much to so with it.

Maybe you would have done great if you were HSed!  =)  Just think of it, going at your own pace, a one-on-one tutor, following your interests...

 

I did do well in school, but only to pass the test, and now when I go to help my oldest, I can't remember a lot.  But is so easy really to look things up and find information these days. 

My SIL is teacher, and my MIL considers her to be a total air-head.  So once my MIL asked her, "How do YOU teach these children?!" and my SIL just smiled and said, "It's not like I have to know the answers- I just have to know how to look them up!"  Exactly.  And my MIL has never said anything to us about HSing.

 

Also, for us anyway, I don't look at myself as a teacher, but as a mom (doing what any mom would do) and as a facilitator for DS.  If DS wants to learn something, it is my job to get him the information (the right books, to introduce him to a person who knows about it in a setting where he can ask questions, possibly a good documentary, etc) but it is not necessarily my job to "teach" it to him, unless he really needs it and wants me to, yk?  And so far, that hasn't been an issue.

 

As far as them experiencing both types of education, I can't help with that.  I have no desire for my DC to go to school.  If they are older and want to take college classes, that is one thing, but we're not there yet.  I guess we do- just recently now -do some one-time classes with our local HS group that are more "school-like" than we do at home.  Maybe you could do something like that.

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#4 of 7 Old 03-25-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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I had sort of always thoughts about homeschooling when I got pregnant, in the back of my head anyway :) DH was never on board...our oldest is very bright, and here we have a gifted program in the public schools.  I was told by my DH my MIL and just about every ones else that as long as he is in that program he will be fine, do great, etc etc etc...4 days in he melted down I melted down and the homeschooling talks began....It was emotionally too much for him and us (his sisters and I at home) 7 hours a day he was gone 5 days a week, it thru us all off, even his sister the older one age 4 seemed aloof and lost.  Education wise it was pathetic, for the most part he relearned just about everything he knew and had learned 2 years prior..no attempts were made to bump him or give him more work.  We kept thinking it would change.  We were very naive..and by Dec I was in serious talks with DH about hs'ing Who was very adamant that it was not the best thing..until he started talking to others about it, and got positive comments (negative ones too, of course) but the positive outlasted, outweighed the neg. and by Feb we had decided to do it. But thought it would be best to leave him to finish out the year where he was. 

 

We are currently finishing? well not really as we will be year long learners, no set days of learning or not, schoolwork or not..but we are rounding out our 1st "school year" and it's been great..he will be homeschooled again next year along with his sister who would be entering K. My husband is not a proud homeschooling Dad and tells anyone and everyone who will listen all the Great things we do :)

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#5 of 7 Old 03-25-2011, 12:32 PM
 
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We are still deciding, so I am really interested in this discussion. I'm glad you started it, sosurreal09. My son is in preschool now, and there are some things I really like about it. His teacher is wonderful (gentle discipline!) and the families involved in it are a real community to us. (I also wahm while he is at preschool but that could change.) There's a feeling I can't seem to shake though - and Love, I think it's what you said!
 

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Originally Posted by Love View Post

 

Was I really going to carry him, wear him, nurse him, sleep with him, listen to him, respect him as a unique person, just to decide because he turned an arbitrary age to now throw him in with a bunch of other kids to be treated as a number, to a complete stranger, and make him ask permission in front of a crowd of people just to pee, and maybe get told no?

 

I looked down at my little sleeping guy in my arms and decided maybe that was not such a good idea.  =P

 

I went home and brought it up to DH, and he is such an easy-going guy, he just said whatever I thought was best since I was the one that would be in charge of it.


I've never had this articulated by someone other than myself, and wow. Yes. I had to leave in the last part because my DH is the same way!


Me + DH + DS ('07) + after a long and bumpy road, thrilled that our twin boys are finally here (DS2 & DS3, '12)

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#6 of 7 Old 03-25-2011, 07:57 PM
 
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My son is in kindergarten now, so we are still deciding but most likely will be homeschooling next year.  It honestly, never crossed my mind until we started getting closer to school starting.  Once he started school I just started thinking there had to be a better way!  We live in a small town and a consolidated school district so he spends a long time on the bus (around 45-m1hr each way).  That's over 8.5hrs he's away from home each day!  And he's only 5!  I've spent the last few school year reading everything I could find about homeschooling, I'm still not sure how it will work but I figure he can go back to public school if it doesn't work out.

 

I'm always curious to hear people's reactions and I usually casually mention it like it's not something I'm seriously condsidering "we've been looking at info on homeschooling..."  Most of the reactions are good, even from some people I wasn't expecting.  My in-laws seem to be against it, but I'm pretty sure if I gave them some stuff to read they'd be all over it!  But the comment that stands out the most to me, and really pushed me more towards really wanting to do it was a friend who said " eh!  We survived!"  As in we survived school our kids will too.  I mean, who wants their kids to "just" survive?  I want better than that for my kids!

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#7 of 7 Old 03-26-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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When my son was less than 24 hours old I lay in our bed looking at him and thought, "It is my job to protect him." That meant I could not send him to school. My husband and I talked about it and we set our sails for homeschooling.

 

Our son is 5 now and will be kindergarten age this fall. I just can't imagine throwing him into a room of (basically unsupervised) children and forcing him to do what he is told and to work at the academic pace of the slowest child in the class. I just can't stand the thought of sending him somewhere that will strip his love of learning from him. By third grade all those beautiful souls will be saying, "Yuck, I hate school. Learning is boring."

 

What's wrong with a child being with its family until its ready to initiate independence? We have always co-slept. A couple weeks ago our son announced he wanted his own room and his own bed. We gave it to him the next day. That lasted a week or so then he wanted to sleep in our bed. Most nights he is with us but some nights he sleeps by himself. I can assure you there will come a point when he sleeps alone more than he sleeps with us. Then one day he will stop returning to our bed. That's what children do. They grow up and move away from their parents. So why should we force that on them before they are ready? 

 

Kids are only kids for awhile. Why can't they spend their days where they want, which is with their families?

 

My mother was very concerned when my brother started homeschooling his kids. She is now 150% supportive of our homeschooling because she has seen how well his kids have done. My MIL was totally against us homeschooling (she's a retired kindergarten teacher.) I didn't care if she approved or not, but I did consider her feelings. From her perspective we were doing a disservice to her grandchild and she was worried. To calm her fears we gave her this book: http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Rediscovered-Socialization-Education-Family/dp/1430308257/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1301157826&sr=8-1 I don't know if she believes what we are doing is okay, but she has at least been able to wish us well.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Love View Post

Was I really going to carry him, wear him, nurse him, sleep with him, listen to him, respect him as a unique person, just to decide because he turned an arbitrary age to now throw him in with a bunch of other kids to be treated as a number, to a complete stranger, and make him ask permission in front of a crowd of people just to pee, and maybe get told no?

 


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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