Thinking of taking DS out of public School - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
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My DS is 13 and in 7th grade in public school. I'm getting calls & e-mails from teachers saying mostly all the same thing. He is not turning in work, he is very smart but unmotivated, he is unfocused in class. They say he has very low grades but they can't actually let him fail because they don't fail kids anymore. So, he glides through and at the end will turn in a few papers to bring his grade up. This is not new for him. He has been unmotivated for a long time regarding school, I don't know how to motivate him. 

I'm thinking of pulling him out to homeschool. I told him the public school is a waste of time if he's not going to do it. I told him if he is at home, he could get his work done and have more free time. I'm tired of fighting with him about school. I don't like our public school system here, we are in Virginia. I did not want to force him to homeschool but don't see any other choice. So I'm wondering if any of you would take your kids out of public school if you thought it was best for them. 

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#2 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 04:28 PM
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In a heartbeat.  We are moving to NC in June/July and there is not a school even remotely like my ds2's public school here in CO.  So we will homeschool at least next year. 

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#3 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 06:18 PM
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I would BUT be realistic.  I wouldn't expect him to suddenly become enthusiastic about school.  You may need some deschooling time and/or a completely different approach than his current situation.  My kids are more motivated when they choose the topic and dive in.  Maybe that would work with your ds, but maybe not. 



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#4 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 08:46 PM
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At 13 I certainly wouldn't do so over his objections. But if he was willing, absolutely! 


I completely agree with AAK's suggestion concerning deschooling. If you're hoping to push him into learning more assertively and pro-actively at home, that's will likely ruin your relationship with him. If you're hoping his interest in learning will be re-ignited by homeschooling that's certainly possible, even likely, but it will require deschooling, patience and creativity.



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#5 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 08:53 PM
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What does he say? If he wants to homeschool, then I would definitely give it a shot. But if it's more of a consequence to not working hard and turning in work, then I would say no.

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#6 of 7 Old 12-20-2011, 09:21 PM
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My DD isn't that age, but her teachers the last two years have been sure she could do the work but was choosing not to I math, and I was sure this was the case also. I finally insisted on getting her tested this year though because I was worried that more was going on. Through testing we discovered that she is lacking a lot of very fundamental skills. She is very bright and it was easy to assume she could do work she just can't do yet.

I suggest getting him tested either at school or through a tutor before making a final decision.
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#7 of 7 Old 12-25-2011, 11:10 PM
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Persons with learning disabilities, ADHD, or even bright but unchallenged, can appear "unmotivated." Determining the "why" of his lack of motivation could help you determine how/where his education should continue.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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