How much responsibility for a 11yo - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 03-25-2012, 02:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all, my son has been homeschooled since the second half of first grade.He will be 11 next month.Im really wanting to get him more independent with his school work.

He's pretty mature and usually doesnt give me hard time or anything about doing school.So I was thinking about giving him his weekly schedule and letting him be responsible to get it done by the end of the week.We are just finishing up the last part of schooling and he has his last 2 math booklets(currently doing Key to Fractions).

and his history book to finish and some added Thinking Skills worksheets.

So its not a lot of work left for the year..I probably should have him do one more writing project too.

But do you think its too much to expect for this age to budget his time and get his daily work done by the end of the week on his own?

 

Thanks..

 

 

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#2 of 4 Old 03-25-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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Not too much, but if you've always done the planning for him without his participation, he will probably need some guidance and support.

 

If you've involved him in your thought processes and planning in the past, or if he has other experience planning and budgeting time (say, piano practicing, or gymnastics strength training, or something like that), he might be just fine without your help.

 

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#3 of 4 Old 03-25-2012, 05:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ive always told him when its time for school work.We usually do it in the morning hours and leave the afternoon for other things.Its more of a convenience thing for me though.It doesnt "need" to be done in the mornings.

But I do have him narrate back to me the history he reads on a daily basis so I would have to have him do that before the day is over.

IDK I can run it by him and see what he thinks.He is one of those kind of kids that wants to be an adult NOW..And gets frustrated if treated like a child.

Probably because he has three adult brothers and is the youngster.

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#4 of 4 Old 03-25-2012, 05:45 PM
 
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My youngest has three older siblings too. Yes, she's always expected to be treated "older than she is" and she's generally risen to those expectations. We're unschoolers, so we haven't met this particular transition in the context of homeschooling. However, my kids all studied Suzuki violin, where the expectation is that the parent will be the practicing coach or partner, guiding the daily practicing for the child, being the organizer, creative motivator and extra pair of ears and eyes. That expectation stays in place until about adolescence, when there's a transition to independent practicing. My kids wanted that independence and responsibility considerably younger. 

 

We made it a gradual thing. First I showed them how I structured the week and involved them in tweaking the overall weekly plan. Actually, I did this almost from the beginning, from age 5 or so. 

 

When they started asking to practice without me, I gave over the simplest part of their practicing entirely to them. This was the stuff that was mostly rote, review and simple repetition, where I knew they couldn't go too wrong. I'd do the fussy stuff with them, and then leave part way through, allowing them to complete the simple stuff on their own.

 

If that went well for a week or two, I began giving them responsibility for all of every second day. If there were things that were neglected or mis-remembered or poorly executed, I could recognize that on the alternate days and get them back on track.

 

If that went well, I'd just do a bit of the first practice session after their weekly lesson with them, and help them structure and organize the tasks for the week.

 

After a while I dropped that, and just took notes for them at the lesson, organizing them so that there was a general overall list of assignments.

 

Now, this was a transition we were trying to navigate where (a) many of the learning tasks were physical and required daily repetition for mastery and (b) we weren't willing to accept a reduction in efficiency and progress, as we were in the thick of serious learning and their teacher's high expectations for diligence remained. In your situation you may be willing to trade a certain amount of diligence and efficiency for the independence and opportunity to make and learn from his own mistakes that your ds wishes to have. So your reduction in support and structure may not need to be nearly as step-wise. However, this may give you some ideas.

 

Miranda


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