Helping/encouraging the negative child.... - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 2 Old 05-16-2012, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
CoBabyMaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The place I've tried to leave 3 times!
Posts: 1,130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I gave birth to a mini me.  winky.gif  She is very bright but is easily frustrated and gives up/won't try if she doesn't know how to do something.  She is 3  (will be 4 in July)  so most things I just don't push but there are times that I think she would benefit from working through it.  It could be anything from getting dressed, putting on shoes or coloring a picture.

Can anyone give me hints to work through some of these things?


Becky- Wife to DH, Mama to "Nani" (July '08) "Coco" (July '10) and expecting one very wiggly baby boy in May 2013!

CoBabyMaker is offline  
#2 of 2 Old 05-17-2012, 07:39 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 39 Post(s)

A lot of this is just normal for the age. Kids this age often have inflated ideas of their own competence, low frustration tolerance, and not much in their problem-solving toolboox to help them work through the gap between where they're at and where they want to be. My older kids were very much perfectionists and often didn't try for fear of failing. I encouraged them to give "three good tries" (or however many years old they were), telling them that I didn't expect them to learn today, but the tries would help them be closer to learning by tomorrow. A casual, no-big-deal cheerful tone of voice helped. Keeping track in some way of the work towards mastery helped them see that they were accomplishing good work, even if they hadn't yet achieved success. For instance, colouring in a square on a chart every day that they tried ____, so that they could see in a tangible way that they were accruing experience. Giving them privacy while they were trying often helped minimize frustration, because the stakes seemed lower when they weren't "failing" in front of me. Giving feedback prior to the next day's attempt rather than after today's failed attempt minimized negativity. Structuring and breaking down the problem for them was helpful: "See if you can draw this line, straight up and down. That would be a really good start. I'll do the cross pieces for you. And why don't we do one page of F's together like this every day..." And it helped if I shared my mistakes and inaccuracies with them as I lived my life, and took on new things that I wasn't yet at all good at, so they could see that even grown-ups have to learn some things gradually. 

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
Reply

Tags
Homeschooling

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off