I'm sure this has probably come up heaps before .... I am desperate to home school our kids (who are only very young) and my dh is dead against it.For a start his old school that he loved is right across the road and his mum is a teacher!
He agrees that our kids will get a better education with me at home (I am educated and have proven to him I can teach our dd without hot housing her), he also agrees that the socialisation in schools can be harmful. He is saying no because he just plain thinks home school kids are weird. of course he's never met one.....
I thought I could join the local hs group and get him to meet some of the kids but he is so closed minded about it that I don't think it would work. Anyone got any ideas? I'm glad I've looked into this early as it may take a few years for him to come round. btw it's my intention to hs until junior high, have the kids do a couple of years their to get used to school that transition to a high quality private school. We can afford for me to stay home and have the resources, this is just a step too far for him.
He was never "thrilled", proud, or very
involved, so that made it that much harder. But, as long as I wasn't complaining, or laying extra (too much extra) responsibilities on him then he didn't protest much. If they aren't supportive then it is harder, but if it means a lot to the wife then rarely do they put their foot down hard. I am jealous of the "family" that embraces homeschool and feel that they are the most successful. It is hard knowledge be selling your point of view to naysayers. Just stick to your guns and be sure to have support. you may not convince him that it's his favorite, but you can convince him that you are going to do it!
Your plan sounds nice, but if you plan on the children attending school some day, you may want to make sure they stay with the school curriculum guidelines, so they will fit in easily. That takes away some flexibility in deciding what they learn. Under those circumstances, I wonder why you want to homeschool. There are so many reasons, I'm sure you have good ones.
Was that David Guterson's "Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense"? Guterson actually taught English on a small gulf island in the Pacific Northwest, and is a writer by profession now. But the bit about the attorney father makes me think it must be his book you're thinking of. I really liked the book and found it very persuasive, without being evangelistic in tone. It's definitely a good one for dads.
I disagree with you about the necessity of staying within public school guidelines if there's the possibility of attending school in the future. We made absolutely no effort to do so, and yet my kids entered school at the high school level with barely a ripple of difficulty.
I do wonder about the wisdom of having kids start school at the junior high level. To me that level is fraught with the most problems of any level of schooling. Socially the kids are extremely cliquey, immature but adopting a lot of pseudo-mature behaviors, and academically there tends to be a high workload, but mostly of the busy-work variety, not the interesting and challenging work fuelled by independent inquiry and passion that tends to kick in at the high school level. If I knew I was going to send my kids to school for a few years, junior high would definitely not be the years I would choose!
Mountain mama to two great kids and two great grown-ups
Thanks for the responses so far - my dh might be convinced over time - it just takes forever. I would LOVE to hs right through the end of school but I know that will never be an option for dh - plus we are fortunate enough to have our tuition paid for by family trust. The high school in question is of exceptional quality and has a lot of opportunities for kids of varying abilities.
I want to hs in the younger years because it is becoming more and more apparant that our primary school system is catering to the lowest common denominator, it's not that my kids are gifted (although they are reasonably bright) it's just the bar for learning is so low that at 2.5 my dd has already exceeded the school entrance requirements for age 5 - in fact most of her peers have ( and I mean average kids whose parents don't do anything special to encourage learning). I'm really worried the first few years are going to be boring for her and kill any love of learning and spirit she has. I'd like to hope we can inspire her to love education and prepare her to take advantage of her opportunities at the better school as she grows.
I had suggested as an alternative that we send her to the local private school but dh thinks it's a waste of money at that age. I think this may read that I want my kids to be super smart - it's not that, I just don't want them becoming cynical at such a young age!
Thanks Miranda for the info on JH - I'm open to suggestions, I'm just aware as a bullied kid that you often only get one chance to make an impression at high school and thought perhaps that JH might give them a practise go which wouldn't affect them right though high school if they happened to take a while to get used to how things worked. As I said I would much prefer to keep them at home the whole time.
With regard to entering school, I'm referring to be at grade level across the board for all subjects. It might make it difficult to get into certain classes if behind in, say, science. I think it's something to keep in mind.
I would keep researching and reading up on it. My DH was very uncertain about HS initially since his experience was that HS were weird. But, he also admitted he knew plenty of children in his private schools growing up who were weird as well.
When our first ds was old enough for preschool, I simply didn't enroll him. DH was fine with this, as I was still nursing him and we did so many fun activities together, like cooking classes, library story times, park days, play dates. When it came time for our ds to attend Kindy, I didn't enroll him, and by then, my Dh didn't see the point either. He was so social, athletic, and loved learning, so there was no real reason for him to go. Plus, I was available and home and our local K was full day, which I couldn't even imagine for my ds. He played a lot with homeschooled kids and newborn old kids, and his baby brother. My Dh agreed that HS was the best choice by then.
HS was going so great for us, but then we went on a trip to visit DH family and they criticized our dc and blamed everything on my homeschooling. It was a shock, and it hurt, and while Dh defended our family's choices, it did lead us to realize that HS will never be accepted by our extended family. We now don't see them and plan to limit any contact with them. While it sounds like it was all handled well, it is something that continues to hurt us every holiday, birthday, and year.
My point is that even if your Dh is on board, there will be likely be challenges because it is the unknown for most people. Do your research now and be really really positive and strong about your decision. Your DH will likely come around, but it's up to you to carry forward the confidence of doing so. It is absolutely what I want for our dc and while my Dh is an advocate and supports me, it is my confidence that continues our homeschooling.
You may be surprised by who objects to your decision. The NY City school teacher was fine with our decision, but my sister who couldn't convince her husband to homeschool their 3 boys was angry that I was homeschooling! Go figure.
Keep a positive outlook and find support where you can. Good luck. Enjoy the adventure!
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