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#31 of 37 Old 01-04-2013, 11:10 AM
 
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I agree.  I don't want to present school or no school as better or worse - just different choices and WE are very happy with our choice.  That doesn't reflect on anyone else's choice.  Partly, I don't want them to present an 'anti-school' attitude to others because so many other parents seem to think that our, different, choices must mean that we think other parents are getting it wrong. 

 

I've always struggled with this one - when I stayed at home, other women felt the need to explain to me how important it was that they go back to work.  When I went to work after 8 years at home, other mums needed to tell me that they needed to be at home.  I think there is an awful lot of pressure on mothers and this is what causes this - any difference can be seen as a rejection of the other person's choice and therefore somehow seen as a negative judgement on them.  The same thing happened with breastfeeding and co-sleeping and cloth nappies and so on and so on.  I can count on one hand the number of friendships I have that have been free of that sort of insecurity.

 

One friendship is really fragile at the moment because of my discipline choices that she told me 'make her look bad'.

 

So, although my kids have every right to feel angry and hostile about THEIR experiences of school, I want to make sure they understand that it's not 'school' that's the problem - nor is it their fault -but their experiences don't make all schools for all children a bad place to be and lots of children love going to school.

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#32 of 37 Old 01-05-2013, 03:14 PM
 
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When people tell me about weird, unsocialized homeschooled adults, I tell them I am an example of what is wrong with that stereotype. I started kindergarten with Nancy Drew in my backpack and when the other kids started Nancy, I was on Shakespeare. I found kids boring and spent as much time as possible with adults, just getting through my boring school day so I could go home to a place where normal conversation, even with children, was causes of the Viet Nam War, life in the Middle Ages, or what we could do about poverty. I tolerated other kids only because teachers pushed me to socialize more. Today, I'm a writer--married with kids, but something of a loner. I love family time, but I don't need many friends.

 

My kids, on the other hand, are all very social. "Despite" being homeschooled, our phone rang all the time and they were always off to this activity or not. They have far better social skills than I do and know how to fit into ordinary society. Even the super-intellectual one knows how to fit in and how to tell who will like a philosophical discussion and who would rather talk about the latest hit movie--and he can discuss both.

 

It isn't really schooling that decides who we are. I turned out just like my parents. My kids turned out just like my social husband. We are socialized at home, no matter where we get our educations.

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#33 of 37 Old 01-05-2013, 05:02 PM
 
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I have plenty of beefs about schooling, but most if not all of them center around education for younger children.  I believe it can set the tone for the rest of their life, which might not be bad and sometimes it's great, but for many of us it is simply "meh".  I think I can do far better for my children, without focusing negatively on school, but then my value judgments of "better" naturally imply that school is worse.  Oh well.  Everything in the end is defined by what it is not.

 

I wonder if homeschooling/unschooling teens that set out to find school suits their purposes would have been so satisfied with that path had they began school from the beginning.  Somehow I think not, but it's just a guess.  They have learned to make their education their own, whether it comes from a school or not.


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#34 of 37 Old 01-05-2013, 05:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

I wonder if homeschooling/unschooling teens that set out to find school suits their purposes would have been so satisfied with that path had they began school from the beginning.  Somehow I think not, but it's just a guess.  

 

My three older kids have all eventually chosen to attend high school for at least a couple of years. All three have commented to me -- independently, at different points in time and without each others' knowledge -- how weird it is that they, the homeschooled kids, feel like they are the only students in their school classes who actually want to be there learning. And their teachers have told me that they are exceptional in that they really seem to enjoy learning for the sake of learning -- not simply as a means to earn good grades.

 

I agree with your guess. 

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

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#35 of 37 Old 01-05-2013, 07:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

My three older kids have all eventually chosen to attend high school for at least a couple of years. All three have commented to me -- independently, at different points in time and without each others' knowledge -- how weird it is that they, the homeschooled kids, feel like they are the only students in their school classes who actually want to be there learning. And their teachers have told me that they are exceptional in that they really seem to enjoy learning for the sake of learning -- not simply as a means to earn good grades.

I agree with your guess. 

Miranda

It's not really all that weird, since homeschoolers, and especially unschoolers, focus on learning what the child wants to know, so that curiosity and the love of learning that all are born with is not doused by endles emphasis on what is *supposed* to be the focus of education at whatever grade.
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#36 of 37 Old 01-07-2013, 07:51 PM
 
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I know some adults who went through the public school system that are compeltely and totally antisocial and barely able to function in social situations.


Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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#37 of 37 Old 01-24-2013, 05:30 PM
 
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Thanks to Facebook I know plenty of people from my public school days that have been in jail, are drunks, don't have successful family lives or careers, and so on.  I would say the number of people I graduated with who are actually fully functioning happy adults or outstanding members of society is very low compared to the ones who just seem like they are unhappily floating along in life. I knew PLENTY of kids from public school who were anti social and awkward, or who couldn't read...

 

That's not to say there aren't successful kids from public school, obviously.  But it goes both ways. I can't stand it when people try to tell me about some awkward homeschooler they once met or heard about.  I'm like yeah let me tell you about the awkward public schooled kids I grew up with!


Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
Aspiring urban homesteader, photographer, homeschooling momma! Blog link in my profile. 

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