homeschooled 9.5 year old twice exceptional boy is "on strike" :( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 06-11-2013, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I also posted this in the gifted child forum. I used to be really active on mothering, but life kicked my butt and I haven't participated in quite a while.

 

We had a visit to the Eide Neurolearning Clinic in January and finally got confirmation of what we suspected about my 9.5 year old ds (grade 4). But that doesn't help us deal with the challenges we are having in educating our son - educationally and otherwise.

 

He is dealing with a lot. His situation in a nutshell:

  • highly gifted with outstanding nonverbal and verbal strengths
  • dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and attention and working memory limitations
  • ADHD, sensory processing issues
  • relatively minor speech issues that seem due to mixed motor-auditory processing challenges
  • probably visual and audiotory processing issues
  • chronic lower back pain, caused unknown
  • separation/divorce starting Jan 2010
  • shared custody with father that is not consistent on a weekly basis, he now spends 60% of his time with me, which is less than before (not my choice)
  • new partners in both households within the last year - he gets along with them, but it's still a transition
  • educated in a part-time program (9 hours per week of classes and physed/art) but mostly at home by both parents
  • frequent expressions of anger and counterwill

 

I'm writing because ds seems to be "on strike". Due to his attention issues, we only do about 2 hours a day or less of structured learning activities but we deal with constant counterwill with that. He is "on strike" and has little to no motivation to "produce" anything that he could share with others. He will not dictate even three sentences to me to practice beginner writing, for example. He will not explain his LEGO setup to me. If we do a science kit, he refuses to summarize his observations and results. I read a chapter in "A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children" on motivation and underachievement, and so many of the underlying issues seem to be present. A lot of it is taking the path of least resistance and engaging in a power struggle with me.

 

At heart, I am an unschooler, but I've had to bend on this due to bullying from his father and the educational program. And frankly I am not confident that ds can overcome his reading struggles, etc. without some help and pushing from his parents. Stuff that came easily to me and to his 7 year old sister is really hard for him. He can read, but with difficulty. His visual tracking issues are probably making it really hard.

 

I am deeply frustrated at this point. I feel angry that there do not seem to be services available for him. I'm in Canada and the school district that we are formally part of cannot offer us speech therapy, gifted programs, or specialized learning disability support. In order to get speech therapy, OT, ADHD coaching, visual processing therapy, etc. we'd have to pay full price out of pocket, which I can't afford since I can rarely fit my consulting contracts into the custody schedule.

 

I feel like I'm failing ds. Although I do not have any faith in the public school's ability to help him, I'm tempted to dump him there so I don't have to torture myself with failing at educating him. It's not that I expect him to be performing at grade level in his challenge areas. It's that I don't see him putting effort into anything other than LEGO and his social life. We are still dealing with a lot of basic life issues. My whole day is being a drill sergeant - brush your teeth, eat your breakfast, etc. Nothing - educational, self-care, chores, etc. - is done without repeated nagging.

 

We are also dealing with a lot of disrespectful attitude. He can be very charming when he wants something, but nasty when he doesn't get his way. This article describes some of the stuff we are dealing with:

 

You Owe Me! Children of Entitlement

http://www.angriesout.com/teach9.htm

 

He chose to stop art therapy recently - he had been doing that twice a month for years. He's never done any other kind of therapy for emotional stuff.

 

There are soooo many issues to deal with here. I am just tired of failure. I have tried a lot of things, but things are constantly shifting and I never get any sense that things are on the right track. I have my own issues - with undiagnosed probably ADHD, being the consistent, organized parent is really, really hard for me.

 

I'm really hoping that someone here might have some insight that would help me get a grip on the big picture here. Sorry for such a long post.


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#2 of 13 Old 06-11-2013, 12:28 PM
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It sounds like a lot is going on.  Please understand when you read my suggestions is that while we deal with some of your challenges, my family is not dealing with all of them.  My children haven't been through a divorce.  Therefore, take my advise with a grain of salt.  

 

My first response was that your son was trying to gain control of some aspect of his life.  You can nag, scold, persuade, etc but he is the one eventually responsible for the output.  I think I would try to back off, but have specific things tied to his tasks.  You don't eat breakfast until you are dressed and your bed is made.  You don't play with legos until you practice reading for 20 minutes, etc.  These are just examples, you know what is important to you and what is important to your son.  This practice would offer up some control to him.  If he wants to play legos all day, fine. . .as long as he does xyz first.  If he takes forever, his time with legos is being compromised.  

 

My other suggestion would require more knowledge about your son.  My daughter (also dyslexic and dysgraphic) likes to work towards something.  I created my own "summer reading program".  My children and a couple friends are doing this.  We made up bingo cards.  There are reading activies on there, as well as related activities.  For example: read a biography, read a poem and write one too, make a bookmark, show that you can find a non-fiction book by call number, find a book with projects, pick one and do it, get a cookbook and make a meal from it, etc.   When they get a bingo, they earn a prize.  I have a list of possible prizes.  One is a trip to a local waterpark (my dd and her friend want to go together--they are both working to that goal).  They can also go for blackout and get a "bigger" prize.  The fun thing with bingo is that if there is an activity that sounds awful, they don't do that one--they plan a different path to achieve a bingo.  This offers them a bit of control over the game.  I just set the parameters. 

 

Thirdly, did things get worse after he quit therapy?  If so, perhaps you should require him to go again.  

 

I really wish I could give you a solid answer.  If my ideas sound absurd, please feel free to ignore them.  

 

I wish you the best of luck.  Oh, btw my kids know that homeschooling is not required.  They can choose to go back to school anytime.  Likewise, if they don't participate willingly in their home education, I won't keep them here. 

 

Amy


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#3 of 13 Old 06-11-2013, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your reply Amy!

 

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My first response was that your son was trying to gain control of some aspect of his life.  You can nag, scold, persuade, etc but he is the one eventually responsible for the output.  I think I would try to back off, but have specific things tied to his tasks.  You don't eat breakfast until you are dressed and your bed is made.  You don't play with legos until you practice reading for 20 minutes, etc.  These are just examples, you know what is important to you and what is important to your son.  This practice would offer up some control to him.  If he wants to play legos all day, fine. . .as long as he does xyz first.  If he takes forever, his time with legos is being compromised.

That is basically what we do, but I don't think having time to spend as he wishes is seen as an incentive to him. He does comply but often with a lot of nastiness until he settles down and recognizes that I'm not going to back down (and every day it feels like we're rehashing that whole thing). I agree that he's trying to gain control, but I'm not sure it's appropriate control.

 

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My daughter (also dyslexic and dysgraphic) likes to work towards something.  I created my own "summer reading program".

That sounds fun! My son is somewhat motivated to work towards new LEGO sets, which always seem to cost around $80-120. I did use that strategy when I really wanted him to complete 30 days of FastForWord therapy and I knew it would be hard. But I have mixed feelings about that strategy for ds. 1. it's not affordable, 2. he gets the idea that he is in control and will only work for LEGO <---- I'm worried that this would contribute to more of the attitude problems that we are already dealing with.

 

Quote:

 

Thirdly, did things get worse after he quit therapy?  If so, perhaps you should require him to go again.

It may have gotten worse, but I don't know if that was chicken or egg. I suspect that his dad nudged him in that direction (due to the cost). He may have chosen to stop because he was not willing to share with the art therapist was going on for him. I think that in general she had trouble getting him to open up. I could make him go, but he might effectively be "on strike" there as well.

 

Quote:

If my ideas sound absurd, please feel free to ignore them.

Not at all! I really appreciate your input. There are lots of problems here. My challenge is to identify what to prioritize in terms of tackling them. I cross-posted this in gifted parenting forum and the advice was to consider medication, so I am thinking about that too.

 

 

Quote:
Oh, btw my kids know that homeschooling is not required.  They can choose to go back to school anytime.  Likewise, if they don't participate willingly in their home education, I won't keep them here.

This is something I have started to talk to my kids about. I probably need to take it further and reframe it as homeschooling being a privilege that they need to earn by actively participating in their own learning process.


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#4 of 13 Old 06-11-2013, 09:28 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by AAK View Post
 

Oh, btw my kids know that homeschooling is not required.  They can choose to go back to school anytime.  Likewise, if they don't participate willingly in their home education, I won't keep them here. 

 

My kids know this too and I generally emphasize that we do this together.  They have also been to school and they did NOT like it.  This helps.  Maybe (and I am not sure if you are in a position to do something like this...) he could try to go school and try it out?  If he loves it and flourishes there (unlikely with his quirks), then great but if he doesn't and hates it, then he may appreciate homeschooling and be willing to do the minimal work you are asking him to do?  

 

I have a friend with 2e child who is 7 now and he does much better at school than at home.  If all fails, this might be something to consider if you are pushed to the wall and don't feel like you have any other choice.  It sounds like a tough situation all around.

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#5 of 13 Old 06-11-2013, 11:04 PM
 
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I have two gifted kids who were also incredibly allergic to "output" ... or really anything where they perceived their learning was possibly being observed, critiqued, judged, whatever. So the instant they sniffed out that I was looking for evidence of learning, they'd shut down. 

 

Now, the difference in our situation is that my kids had only the mildest of dual exceptionalities (selective mutism in the eldest, dysgraphia in her younger brother) and we didn't have another parent/ex-spouse insisting on measurable academic progress according to a school-like paradigm. I was able to just back off totally in an complete unschooling approach. They learned in their own way, and gradually over the years they found comfort with being observed and came to trust that sometimes observing was just interest and support, not judgement.

 

So it doesn't sound like what worked for us would work for you. But I do wonder whether it might be possible to find a tutor whom he might relate to, forming a relationship with less emotional baggage and volatility, a tutor who could implement the targeted work on, say, literacy and fine-motor tasks. It might be more affordable than a lot of the allied health profession fees. Even when they were at their worst with me and other close family members, my kids' strikes never affected their relationships with other teachers or mentors (piano or violin, teachers, eg.)

 

ETA: Are you in BC? Couldn't you enroll with your school district's DL program with an IEP and get funding for all those allied services that way?

 

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#6 of 13 Old 06-12-2013, 12:30 AM
 
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Also, I wanted to suggest for you to check out diy.org -- it is not for everyone but we like what we can do with it for inspiration and social networking with kids who like to build/make things.  You mentioned he loves legos but maybe he also loves other mechanical/engineering/science/mathy/arty hands on type things too?  There are all sorts of things kids are doing/making/presenting.  Having challenges to meet, seeing what other children are doing, and eventually having an audience of "followers" can be inspiring for some kids.  He is certainly old enough to do quiet a bit the stuff on his own.  With the summer here, maybe you could step back a little and see what he might do with inspiration from others.  

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#7 of 13 Old 06-12-2013, 09:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really appreciate your input Emaye and Miranda :) . Miranda, I always appreciated your wise words when I used to follow your blog and postings.

 

Sigh. When I re-read my replies below it looks like I'm saying "yes, but", "yes, but". I feel just as stuck as my son does. Sorry if I sound negative.

 

Quote:
ETA: Are you in BC? Couldn't you enroll with your school district's DL program with an IEP and get funding for all those allied services that way?

We are enrolled with SD40 and are working on an IEP, but they have nothing to offer us other than a special education resource person that we can meet a couple of times a year to brainstorm with <insert eyeroll here>. There is lots of great advice and information out there, and I'm actually pretty good at finding it, but I have trouble applying it to help my child.

 

From what I understand, we are currently in the lowest point in decades with regard to learning disability and gifted services in BC. For example, they flatly refused my request for speech therapy - a service that used to be more available to students. The Drs. Eide wrote: "Wolfgang has mispronunciation errors that seem due to mixed motor-auditory processing challenges (e.g. w instead of r sounds)" - we are trying to DIY the speech issue and it is really hard! I can't tell if we're just wasting his and our time and energy.

 

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Maybe (and I am not sure if you are in a position to do something like this...) he could try to go school and try it out?  If he loves it and flourishes there (unlikely with his quirks), then great but if he doesn't and hates it, then he may appreciate homeschooling and be willing to do the minimal work you are asking him to do?

He does quite well in the school-ish environment of the classes that he goes to (9 hours per week). He is an extrovert and wants to perform well in front of his peers. Because the classes are small, very tailored, and short in length it works for him. They are starting to see the behaviour issues that I've always had to deal with though. I worry that in public school he would not get much support and would fall into mostly clowning and distracting other students, which is one of his default modes when not engaged.

 

I actually think a "school experiment" would be a good idea. It would be good for the kids to stop thinking that they are entitled to be homeschooled and get a little reality check that most children are expected to engage in the education in a structured way for large chunks of time. Unfortunately, I am facing a couple of challenges with "trying school". First, we kind of have to commit to the program we are participating in, because there's funding attached. And after 5 years of attending that program, he is finally starting to develop social connections and come out of his shell and participate. Before his academic year he never even knew the names of classmates at the end of the year! So I'm a little reluctant to disrupt that. OTOH, they are not doing the "grunt work" with him - the tedious daily work that is difficult and boring. Second, his dad moved a 45 minute drive away and has 40% custody on an 8 day cycle - meaning that the kids do not have a consistent custody schedule that matches the days of the week. Even if he agreed to allow a school experiment, we would face significant challenges regarding transporting the children to and from school. If the school was in my catchment, they would be spending 1.5 hours in the car getting to and from school on days with dad. I could not count on the dad to liaise with the school but a lot of the time I would not really know what was going on.

 

Quote:
I have two gifted kids who were also incredibly allergic to "output" ... or really anything where they perceived their learning was possibly being observed, critiqued, judged, whatever. So the instant they sniffed out that I was looking for evidence of learning, they'd shut down.

So you can relate to that. There is even resistance to relatively unobtrusively taking photos. I had to put my foot down and say " no photos, no homeschooling". But even I expect some kind of output from a 9 year old. We do not live in world where you can do what you feel like all day long. We are all expected to produce and to work towards outcomes, whether or not we get paid for our work.

 

Quote:

I was able to just back off totally in an complete unschooling approach.

I truly believe that that is often a great approach. But I do not have enough information about how that works when the child has serious attention and reading impairments. I warch how self-directed my 7 yo dd is - she has massive output in terms of writing, art, plans, ideas, organization, communication, etc. If we were unschooling, I'd never have to wonder if there was any learning going on.

 

Quote:
But I do wonder whether it might be possible to find a tutor whom he might relate to, forming a relationship with less emotional baggage and volatility, a tutor who could implement the targeted work on, say, literacy and fine-motor tasks.

I think that would be a good approach, but not necessarily cheaper from what I understand.

 

The money issue frustrates me because there are a LOT of services out there that would help. I could get an army working on ds - speech therapist, child psychologist, visual therapist, reading and math tutors, etc. Because of the custody schedule I can't take a regular part-time job. I have a professional consulting business which has been really erratic income-wise because I can't always take on big projects (and the field has been in a slump). The kids' dad made $157K last year, but is very resistant to spending any money on therapeutic stuff AND expects me to pay half. My income is very low. My new husband would possibly be willing to fund some things but he doesn't want to let the father off the hook of his responsibilities to his children.

 

In my other thread medication was suggested. We might try that just to make SOMETHING easier for ds. Maybe if his attention issues were alleviated somewhat, the remedial stuff might be easier and he might find more focus in pursuing his own interests.

 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaye View Post

Also, I wanted to suggest for you to check out diy.org -- it is not for everyone but we like what we can do with it for inspiration and social networking with kids who like to build/make things.  You mentioned he loves legos but maybe he also loves other mechanical/engineering/science/mathy/arty hands on type things too?  There are all sorts of things kids are doing/making/presenting.  Having challenges to meet, seeing what other children are doing, and eventually having an audience of "followers" can be inspiring for some kids.  He is certainly old enough to do quiet a bit the stuff on his own.  With the summer here, maybe you could step back a little and see what he might do with inspiration from others.  

That's the kind of thing that is aligned with his interests, but he would need a lot of support to initiate and carry out any kind of project. The executive functioning impairment that comes with the ADHD means that his spatial thinking talents don't easily translate to actually MAKING something. I will definitely check it out but I would have to force him to do it for a while, so that he could actually figure out if he liked it.


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#8 of 13 Old 06-15-2013, 10:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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For those who are following this thread, I also got a lot of interesting replies to the same post in the Gifted forum:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1384919/homeschooled-9-5-year-old-twice-exceptional-boy-is-on-strike/0_100#post_17382300


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#9 of 13 Old 07-13-2013, 11:42 AM
 
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Hi Flowmom! I haven't been on Mothering much either until recently I've started checking in. So lovely to "see" you here again.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I don't have a whole lot of advice, but one or two suggestions that may or may not be helpful.

 

My kids can smell "an educational imperative" a mile away and I'm pretty sure that if I were to pursue required work, etc that they would shut down. With that said, I decided this past year to introduce exactly that for Math, which I felt both kids were too far behind on for no other reason than they had no interest in it. I also felt that introducing some structure into our homeschooling might benefit them because of their ASD. 

 

What worked for us was I set up something we called "Project Time". In exchange for 15 minutes of math time (we used an online curriculum, so I'd sit with them at the computer) they earned 45 minutes of play time with Mama! I would agree to play anything they wanted, whether it was some gawdawful video game battle with DS, or Littlest Pet Shop with DD. They got my undivided attention for any activity they wanted. They even had the option to earn extra time with me, minute for minute, by going over the 15 minutes. It worked really well. The only "problem" was that I didn't do it often enough nor did I stick to a regular schedule, but we did do it. They will tell anybody who asks how much they "hate" doing their math program, but they do it and they learned a lot. The lure of my undivided attention (which, I think, all kids secretly covet) to do anything they wish was pretty powerful. 

 

I also pull the "homeschooling is a privelege" thing. I actually wouldn't send them to school as I think it would not be a good choice for them, but at the same time I do expect them to participate in some things they don't necessarily want to do (in our family these usually relate to DS and various therapies/programs that he decides he wants to quit halfway through). 

 

Because of the above problem with my consistency, I found what is my second suggestion to you. I discovered Project Based Homeschooling (there's a book and a website/blog). In short, you schedule time with your kid to work on projects of their choice in which they are the sole leader and decider of how the project progresses. The book is full of wonderful ideas on how to be the best mentor for your child under this situation, encouraging and assisting, keeping them motivated, without taking any ownership of the process. The author says you can do this even if you are not in an unschooling environment, and explains how. I'm wondering if it might help if your DS knows that there will be a time scheduled regularly where he has total control and there is no agenda, etc. After a period of "deschooling" (gaining trust that he will, in fact, have total autonomy over what is done) it may spark him to get motivated. 

 

Oh, one more suggestion. I know you are pretty happy with your program but if the need for funding for therapies, etc is great enough I can tell you that Self Design has an incredible special needs support team. Your child can be in the program just based on his giftedness, though the twice gifted situation would be even more reason. You'd have to talk to them about funding as I'm only familiar with the autism funding (which is incredible) but I know they have funds set up for undiagnosed learners or those learners with other needs that aren't typically funded by other means. It might be worth just asking about what funding would be available: the ability to get therapies for your DS might outweigh the benefits of your current program. 

 

Lots of love and hugs...


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#10 of 13 Old 07-13-2013, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Piglet - so awesome to see YOU here :) . Thank you SO much for your thoughts.

 

Quote:
My kids can smell "an educational imperative" a mile away and I'm pretty sure that if I were to pursue required work, etc that they would shut down.

 

Fair enough, but am I correct in believing that your kids are doing a lot of self-directed learning? That's my concern with ds - almost no sign of that. And until he is a fluent reader - he reads at grade 3.5 level, but with difficulty - he has major limitations in doing that.

 

Quote:
What worked for us was I set up something we called "Project Time". In exchange for 15 minutes of math time (we used an online curriculum, so I'd sit with them at the computer) they earned 45 minutes of play time with Mama! I would agree to play anything they wanted, whether it was some gawdawful video game battle with DS, or Littlest Pet Shop with DD. They got my undivided attention for any activity they wanted.

Last time I tried that, I ran into a brick wall and ds did not even want to have that time with me :( . But I will be trying it again, hoping that if ds gets less discouraged overall, he will be more open to spending time with me.

 

Quote:
I discovered Project Based Homeschooling (there's a book and a website/blog). In short, you schedule time with your kid to work on projects of their choice in which they are the sole leader and decider of how the project progresses. The book is full of wonderful ideas on how to be the best mentor for your child under this situation, encouraging and assisting, keeping them motivated, without taking any ownership of the process. The author says you can do this even if you are not in an unschooling environment, and explains how. I'm wondering if it might help if your DS knows that there will be a time scheduled regularly where he has total control and there is no agenda, etc.

I have recently become very interested in that site and I'm planning to read the book :). But again, I have been running into the roadblock of ds refusing to identify any project that he wants to work on, or any goal of any kind.

 

Maybe that approach needs unschooling, really? We are requiring daily structured homeschooling activities - reading, math, and one or two other activities - all of which are hard for ds. I just don't know if you can let a child with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia, etc. off the hook of working on that stuff. I just don't know how unschooling fits in with addressing special needs, unless you have a way of keeping your child "in the bubble" (and are willing to) well into adulthood.

 

Quote:

Oh, one more suggestion. I know you are pretty happy with your program but if the need for funding for therapies, etc is great enough I can tell you that Self Design has an incredible special needs support team. Your child can be in the program just based on his giftedness, though the twice gifted situation would be even more reason. You'd have to talk to them about funding as I'm only familiar with the autism funding (which is incredible) but I know they have funds set up for undiagnosed learners or those learners with other needs that aren't typically funded by other means. It might be worth just asking about what funding would be available: the ability to get therapies for your DS might outweigh the benefits of your current program.

Of course, your program should be offering great support for ASD students - they get $18,300 per student per year from the BC Ministry (compared to $8,603 for non-grant students). My ds, however, is not eligible for any grants. I guess for me it would be a "show me the money" sitch - I'll ask them what they have to offer, specifically. I would consider switching programs, but I'd be giving up classroom experience, field trips, social connections, and - to be frank - 8 hours a week of free child care.

 

Have a great day :)


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#11 of 13 Old 07-13-2013, 02:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by flowmom View Post

Maybe that approach needs unschooling, really? We are requiring daily structured homeschooling activities - reading, math, and one or two other activities - all of which are hard for ds. I just don't know if you can let a child with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia, etc. off the hook of working on that stuff. I just don't know how unschooling fits in with addressing special needs, unless you have a way of keeping your child "in the bubble" (and are willing to) well into adulthood.

 

 

I recently read the book and the author says that PBH can fit in with structured schoolwork. So while the child understands that during structured time they are expected to do certain stuff, Project Time is when they hold the reins. There's even a discussion in the forum over at that website started by a mum who does structured school stuff at home and wishes to incorporate PBH. 

 

I have much sympathy for your desire to introduce structured stuff. As I said we started with Math this past year and I'd like to introduce more of it this upcoming year. Yes, my kids are self-directed but also tend to have a VERY narrow focus which means there are some pretty big gaps in their learning. ASD kids are particularly prone to staying within their comfort zone and not wanting to try anything new, different, or unpredictable. They are also not good at pushing themselves through challenges to see the rewards at the end. Because of this I too have questioned whether a total unschooling approach is appropriate for my kids, and that's why I've started to introduce a bit of structured learning. Also, DS especially does well with structure and has an overwhelming need to exert control over everything - sad to say, part of my introduction of structured learning is to gently push him to coping with stuff that isn't necessarily pleasant, but has longer term rewards. So you are preaching to the choir here!

 

As for SD, I know they have funds set aside for learners who have special needs that are not necessarily recognized by a specific funding structure or diagnosis. I don't know much about how they are administered, but I thought it might be worth asking. I realize it doesn't offer you the learning centre etc. so it would have to be a good package to tempt you away. 

 

Yes, I hate to say it but an ASD diagnosis is like winning the funding jackpot. It makes me feel sad for all the other children who struggle just as much but who fall through the cracks because they don't have the latest trend in disabilities.

 

One more thing I wanted to suggest, building on something another poster said. It might be worthwhile looking for a private tutor to do some of this structured stuff with DS. I've been amazed at how well and how easily some of the people working with my kids have been able to connect with them, quickly understand their needs and adapt accordingly.  There is one young man in particular who my kids think is the coolest dude ever. He talks to them about stuff that, were I to talk about it, would go in one ear and out the other! A person with whom your DS has no emotional issues and background stuff (baggage, for lack of a better word) may have much more luck getting DS engaged. I realize it's not cheap, but if you found the right person who could connect with DS it might be worthwhile. 

 

 


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#12 of 13 Old 07-13-2013, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All good points Piglet :)

 

Yes, I would like to delegate some educational stuff to a tutor. Ds definitely does have baggage with me and it does undermine my ability to support his education. A lot of this does come down to money - there is a lot we could do for ds with it. I may just have to look at the big picture and figure out if I can do into debt, or ask my husband (not the father) to help out.


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#13 of 13 Old 07-13-2013, 06:43 PM
 
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flowmom, sorry I don't have anything to add...just sent you a PM regarding something else.
 

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