Did you give up anything to homeschool your kids? - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-05-2013, 07:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Mamas,

I'm a few years away from having to make a decision about schooling yet, but since DS1's birth, my husband and I sort of assumed we'd homeschool him. I love the idea of letting him learn at his own pace, in his own style, exploring his natural curiosity. But since the arrival of DS2, I've been feeling way more housebound and I've been missing my own freedom. And it's brought me to looking at homeschooling in a different light.

As homeschooling parents, do you still have time for yourselves? Are you able to explore your own interests? Do you ever regret your decision to homeschool? Do you see it as a sacrifice that you made for you kids? On the positive side, has homeschooling given you more freedom in your life? What led you to the decision to homeschool?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts,

Tara
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Old 12-05-2013, 09:43 AM
 
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All good thoughts, but I definitely would not make decisions on homeschooling because you are feeling homebound with an infant.  Even parents of 3yos shouldn't base decisions on their current role, as even a 3yo is still far needier than a school age kid ever will be.  Each age seems light years from the next.

 

But since you have some good points, I'll answer a few.

 

As homeschooling parents, do you still have time for yourselves?  We could make more, for sure, if we made use of babysitters.

 

Are you able to explore your own interests?  To a large extent, yes.  I can't go back to school full time, or have a full-time career just now.  I couldn't necessarily have those with kids in school either, unless they are in after-care programs and that's a whole new level.  But I can pursue everyday interests, and could do more if time and money and patience driving were not an issue.

 

Do you ever regret your decision to homeschool?  No.

 

Do you see it as a sacrifice that you made for you kids?  Sacrifice happens when you have kids and continues no matter the path.  Having kids in school leads to sacrifices as well as homeschooling.  So, no.

 

On the positive side, has homeschooling given you more freedom in your life?   Yes, I think that homeschooling has given us more freedom relative to schooling.  

 

What led you to the decision to homeschool?  I liked the free quality of it.  Our lives are relaxed and unstressed.  We have plenty of family dynamics that need tending to, but on the whole I think that our family is happier for it.  My neighbor just enrolled her son in school this year, and while she is happy with her decision, a huge chunk of their week is devoted to the needs of the school.  It works for them on the whole, but it is no cakewalk.
 


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Old 12-06-2013, 06:55 PM
 
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I second the answers given smile.gif Also, we go year by year, it's helpful at the start.
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:06 PM
 
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Quote:

 

On the positive side, has homeschooling given you more freedom in your life?   Yes, I think that homeschooling has given us more freedom relative to schooling. 

I'll add that I also feel more freedom for travelling when it suits our family, not the school calendar.  We almost always take our family vacations in the fall (it is better for my husband's job and less crowded, in general) rather than the summer.  In the summer I like to stay close to home and enjoy the good weather we have. 

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Old 12-10-2013, 08:40 PM
 
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Same at our house.  We do some short camping in the summer and haven't yet taken long holidays, but dh's seasonal schedule keeps us from planning anything during the summer months.  Since the girls are not in school, we could take those vacations in September and October,when the work starts easing up for us but the rest of the world is tied down.


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Old 12-10-2013, 09:11 PM
 
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Let me first start off by saying that I absolutely don't regret homeschooling my DS. Also, I should clarify that I have one kid in public school (my oldest, DD, 9.5) and one kid homeschooled (my youngest, DS, 8.5). Both are doing 4th grade.

The one and only reason my DD is in public school is because she completely refuses to do anything school related that I suggest, and won't accept me as her teacher. This has been a somewhat slow process. She was homeschooled through 2nd grade, then the trouble started, she went to public school first semester of 3rd grade (last year), asked to be homeschooled again, did slightly better 2nd semester last year, but went into complete refusal to do anything at the beginning of this year, so she left us no choice. She's doing ok at school, not fantastic, but better than at home. She was just diagnosed with a pretty bad case of a mood disorder, either bipolar or ODD (likely bipolar though, but she's too young still to be sure). Her birthmother (we adopted her at birth). We're doing counseling, and trying natural meds, trying to avoid the Rx meds.

My DS (bio) is completely different. He loves homeschooling. He likely would be labeled with ADD or ADHD if he went to school. He's extremely bright, but often has a great lack of focus. It's a challenge for me to work with it, but he's at least very willing, and together we've done ok, figuring things out that help him. He must be doing ok, since he's a year ahead academically from where he should be chronologically. He's also very talented in music. He plays cello at a very advanced level, learning things that are more appropriate for teens and older to learn. He's finished learning the music of the Saint-Saens cello concerto, still working on getting it performance ready. He recently (his own idea) upped his practice from about 1.5 hours to about 2 hours a day. He also likes to compose, and likes to learn things by ear from CDs that he doesn't have the music for. He also listens to cello (and symphonic) music a lot, and probably spends 3 to 4 hours each day total on things that are music related. There's no way he could do that if he went to public school!

 

Now, all this being said, I am a musician also. I have a Master's in Flute Performance, although I recently had to pretty much stop playing flute due to health reasons. I am playing violin at a fairly serious level, and am working on getting at a true serious level. Before I had to give up flute, I pretty much daily struggled with the dilemma that I had to give up my musical career for homeschooling. Strangely enough, this has gotten better after I had to stop playing. I make time for my own music practice every day, although often don't get nearly as much practice in as I'd like. Never less than 1 hour, but my goal is at least 2 hours, preferably 3, and that doesn't happen too often. Maybe one day, when the kids are older, I'll get around to getting a Master's in violin, but I don't know, and that's ok.

I play (violin) in the youth orchestra that both kids play in every week, as one of the adult "helpers", and that's rewarding for me too.

 

I am lucky that my husband helps out with my DDs school work, and helps her get ready for school in the morning, allowing me to sleep in later (her school starts at 7:30!!). Dealing with kids at school sure is no picnic either!

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Old 12-11-2013, 01:17 PM
 
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I have been thinking about your question for the last 6 days, ever since you posted it.  And I really can't think of anything that I gave up specifically to home school.  When we decided to home school our girls, I was already a sah mom so having school aged children was just a continuation of having pre-school and toddler children.  When we decided to home school our son, I was working at a very family friendly business (and worked part time at home).  I just adjusted my hours at work.  And I brought him to work where he did his school work in the back where the owner's grandkids hung out when they were there.  When my at home part time job became full time, I quit the out of the house job and went full time at home.


Chris--extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, co-sleeping, APing, CLW, homeschooling before any of this was a trend mom to Joy (1/78), Erica (8/80), Angela (9/84), Dylan (2/98)
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Old 12-11-2013, 04:20 PM
 
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I was thinking that I feel like we gained more as a family, not given up.
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Old 12-12-2013, 03:30 AM
 
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We didn't lose much either. We gained a lot. My kids get one on one attention, can work at their own pace, and we have tons of family time! We actually have time to sit down at the dinner table and have dinner together. Imagine that! My boys are pretty good about giving me space when I need a few min of piece and quiet. My toddler, now she is another story, so I get my quiet time when she naps. I don't regret homeschooling at all. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner
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Old 12-12-2013, 10:13 AM
 
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Did I give up some time to myself, sure. But it is SO worth it. 

I get to watch my babies make connections, learn and grow. I get to learn alongside them.

We are not tied to a school schedule. Also, because 2 of my 3 have special needs, this means I am not fighting for services, attending IEP meetings, driving out to the school multiple times a week for the inevitable battles that are part of special needs kids in the public school system. Obviously, that does not apply to most people, but the freedom to educate them without all the bureaucracy is a blessing. 


Stephenie, Wife to Nick partners.gif 9/3/05 Mama to Keagan treehugger.gif autismribbon.gif 4/12/07, Eden dust.gifhomebirth.jpg3/29/09  3rdtri.gif Someone new coming in July and two angels 6/06 and 10/10. Check out my blog! blogging.jpg

 
 
 
  

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