I really want to home school, but... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 05:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I need a little help and thought there might be some here who could.

 

I would like to convince my husband that we should home school our daughter, but I'm not sure how. He and I are in agreement about a lot of things: we don't agree with the new Common Core standards and how they're being implemented; the kind of work and expectations that our daughter has at school are inappropriate for her age (she's 5); and while there are many things our daughter likes about school, she still asks to stay home almost every day and almost always says she gets no time for playing at school, which is true - they get maybe 40 - 60 minutes in their day for free play.

 

So, we both agree her school situation is far from ideal, but my husband doesn't want to home school. For one, he is worried about finances. I currently teach adult ed courses 2 nights a week (one more way I see how public schools can let kids fall through the cracks) and make just enough to help cover a few bills. My husband would like a little more wiggle room in our finances and hoped I would go back to working full time in another year or two, which would make continuing with home schooling impossible. 

 

His other concern is that I will go nuts at home with our daughter and other child (he's 11 months) if I'm home with them all day. While I agree it will be difficult at times, I've explained that if we have planned activities and places to go I won't feel so nuts. He usually counters that this could cost us in gas and money.

 

So I'm stuck. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can say or do go to better plead my case? I feel like he's close to agreeing, but he has some big hurdles in his way. 

 

 

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#2 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 05:49 AM
 
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Here's my thought on the cost issue:  if you were working full time and paying for private school for one kid (since public school isn't working well for your daughter) and daycare for the other, and all the associated costs, how much wiggle room would you gain compared to what you have now?  Would it work out to be more cost effective to homeschool and find a bit more paid work on evenings or weekends?

 

It sounds like the biggest problem right now is that it's just too soon for your daughter to be spending so much time in the school setting.  Have you presented homeschooling as a way for her to stay home until she's more emotionally ready for the school setting while keeping her options open to re-enter school at  her age appropriate grade later on?  (as opposed to just holding her back a year)

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#3 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 11:31 AM
 
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We are taking it a semester at a time.  This outlook really helped my kids' father.  We are not "homeschoolers", we are "homeschooling right now".  I also agreed to yearly achievement tests but I don't think he cares about that anymore now that he sees how its going.  Talking to him about the differences in school hours and start-times worldwide helped him see that sending our 5yo to school at all but especially FT was not "necessary".  He could also see that 5yoDS was not emotionally ready for FT school. 

 

I agree that sitting down and really looking at the finances would probably help. 

 

*My* biggest concern was that I would go nuts being with them all day every day.  Seriously, this would keep me up at night.  I am an only child who grew up with a single mom in a giant house - I NEED MY SPACE AND QUIET.  However, now that we are a few months into it, I can say that I feel far more harmonious and peaceful with my kids around that I did when they went to school.  Its sounds nuts, I know.  But, when they were in school our interactions were concentrated in the stressful morning and evening rushes and then on the weekends when... we just weren't used to each other so much.  We all bicker and fight less and they get on my nerves way less. 

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#4 of 5 Old 01-24-2014, 07:53 AM
 
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My DH was similar in that approach but now he sees that we accomplish 3x more than DS1 ever accomplishes in school. (He's in pre-k and part time homeschooled and then next year isn't going to k at all). We have agreed to re-evaluate at the end of every year and see where we are. 

 

BTW I also teach outside the home. I work in the afternoons/nights and am also a concert artist. So, we do our schooling in the morning and early afternoon with lots of play time. We are flexible and we also school on weekends. I am in the process of doing a homeschool coop as well as some extra classes. 

 

We are very excited by all of this and I am thrilled to see how this next year progresses.

 

My DS is also really not ready to be away all day. He was not at all disappointed when I forgot he was supposed to go to pre-k today! duh.gif whoops!


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#5 of 5 Old 01-24-2014, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the input! My husband and I had to take a kind of long car trip solo yesterday, so we spent a long time talking about this. He likes the idea of taking things one year (or even less) at a time and I am going to be trying to pick up a few more hours teaching, regardless of whether or not we homeschool.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelsmama View Post
 

It sounds like the biggest problem right now is that it's just too soon for your daughter to be spending so much time in the school setting.  Have you presented homeschooling as a way for her to stay home until she's more emotionally ready for the school setting while keeping her options open to re-enter school at  her age appropriate grade later on?  (as opposed to just holding her back a year)

^^This is exactly the issue with school for our daughter and actually my husband suggested something similar back in August, but I didn't agree, mostly because he was suggesting we just delay kindergarten, but I guess I was also swept up in the excitement of starting school. I don't know. I should have listened! Now he sort of feels like it's too late.

 

Either way, I think I'm making headway with him. I think he at least has a better idea of what homeschooling could look like for our family and understands a bit more about why I feel the way I do. I'll also probably have him read this thread!

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