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#1 of 9 Old 04-02-2014, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am still very overwhelmed with the idea of beginning to homeschool my boys. I am doing as much research as I can about what method(s) might work better, where to start, how to go about this thing called "homeschool" etc etc etc. I am still struggling to gain the confidence to take this leap of faith with myself and our boys (current ages 7 1/2 and 6).

BUT

Hubby is VERY reluctant. He feels that it would not be a very good idea - that they would "be better off in school" and/or that "it wouldn't work" and/or that I "would get burnt out" and / or that "what about high school / topics that *I* don't know enough about to teach them".

 

I will, obviously, need his support if we are to embark on this change (for us, boys are currently in school system in grades 1 and K). *I* have always been the primary caregiver - stayed home with them, do all doctor appointments, go to school stuff, etc. *I* am the one who does all of the reading for anything that we need more information (whether that is an illness or schooling!). Yet, *I* don't yet have the confidence in what would be a new role of "teacher/leader" (on a full time basis), so HOW do I get hubby on board when *I* am still struggling???!!?!!


: currently not vaxing. love.gif Wife to awesome DH 10 yrs; Mama to DS1 8/06 and DS2 4/08; ribbonteal.gif for my mom who's 5 yr post, my grama who died of ovarian cancer 31 yrs ago
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#2 of 9 Old 04-02-2014, 03:58 PM
 
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Homeschooling is one of the best decisions that we have ever made. Only wish we had started earlier. My kids were in 5th and 7th grades when we started. So I am now in that high school mode. Actually, I think high school is easier than the younger grades. My kids do 90% of their school work independently. I am here to answer questions, go over difficult concepts, and to keep them on task. My kids were doing 4-5 hrs of homework a night in public school. Family meals were few and far between because we had to hurry up to either finish homework or go to baseball practice. Now, when my kids are done with school at 3pm, they are done for the entire day. They have time to do things that they enjoy and we all have way more time as a family. Social icing kids is so easy. You just take them on errAnds, join homeschool groups, go to church, etc.... if my kids are struggling, there is no time frame that says we have to just move on. We learn until they get a topic and then move on. To me, there are nothing but positive things to say about homeschool.
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#3 of 9 Old 04-02-2014, 07:33 PM
 
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Why are you thinking about homeschooling?  Is school not working out well for your kids?  What are your reasons for thinking homeschooling might work out better?  Explaining those reasons to him would probably be a good way to start.  Does he have specific reasons why he thinks it won't work?  You can listen to his reasons, think carefully about whether they make sense, and then explain to him why you disagree (assuming you do disagree.)

 

You could also point out to him that whatever you try for next year doesn't have to be what you stick with for the rest of your kids' schooling.  (You don't even have to stick with it for the whole year.)  If the two of you can't agree about whether or not homeschooling might work better than having your kids in school, a reasonable approach might be to try it for a year so you can see how well it actually does work.  You don't necessarily need to convince him that homeschooling is definitely the best approach for your kids from now until they leave home.  You just need to convince him that it's not such a terrible idea that it would be too risky to try for even a year.

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#4 of 9 Old 04-03-2014, 08:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mmhinton View Post
 

I am still very overwhelmed with the idea of beginning to homeschool my boys. I am doing as much research as I can about what method(s) might work better, where to start, how to go about this thing called "homeschool" etc etc etc. I am still struggling to gain the confidence to take this leap of faith with myself and our boys (current ages 7 1/2 and 6).

BUT

Hubby is VERY reluctant. He feels that it would not be a very good idea - that they would "be better off in school" and/or that "it wouldn't work" and/or that I "would get burnt out" and / or that "what about high school / topics that *I* don't know enough about to teach them".

 

I will, obviously, need his support if we are to embark on this change (for us, boys are currently in school system in grades 1 and K). *I* have always been the primary caregiver - stayed home with them, do all doctor appointments, go to school stuff, etc. *I* am the one who does all of the reading for anything that we need more information (whether that is an illness or schooling!). Yet, *I* don't yet have the confidence in what would be a new role of "teacher/leader" (on a full time basis), so HOW do I get hubby on board when *I* am still struggling???!!?!!

 

First off, homeschooling my middle school aged son is easier than it was homeschooling him in first grade.  But, there really is no need to think that far down the road yet.  I just started homeschooling again after spending the elementary years in elementary school. I homeschooled my son in first grade.  We did not have a good K experience and so it made sense to bring him home.  He was in school second grade though middle of seventh grade.  My daughters are still in elementary school.  My youngest might come home next year but my middle daughter is having a fabulous time in school and probably won't come home.  She really doesn't want to and she is doing well and has good mentors in school and is involved in school activities so why would I want to bring her home?   Why are you thinking about homeschooling now?  Those same concerns you have can be voiced to your husband in a reasonable discussion, perhaps?  

 

My husband was reluctant to pull our son in the middle of 7th grade this year.  He wanted him to finish the year, he was also concerned I would overextend myself (I'm in college part time and work from home).  We discussed it at length and he agreed to give it a try because we do everything as it works for us.  I am also that person like you- I do most of the care, discipline, doctors/dentist appts, school work, parenting research, etc etc etc.  So my husband typically views me as the authority on any parenting topic and knows that, when I have something to say, it's because I did my research and I've not been impulsive.  In fact, when my son wanted to come home mid year in 7th grade, I took 2 days to tell my husband as I thought about it, developed a plan of action and knew how I would answer any concerns he would bring up.  I wanted to make sure *I* was firm in my decision BEFORE I talked to him about it. I actually did curriculum research, bought a book (Deschooling Gently- excellent book!), wrote a word document comparing the scope and sequence of school to what we would be doing at home, found out what options were open for son socially and academically if he homeschooled now.  Once I was well versed on everything, I sat down with my husband and discussed it.  Then we talked with our son about our expectations of him coming home and was he in agreement with it.  It helps that my husband is supportive of homeschooling in general.  

 

I think the choice to homeschool is kind of like the decision to have a first baby.  There is a certain amount of the scary unknown in it and there never really is a truly PERFECT time to homeschool (you know, when you feel like you are super rested and super creative and your house will stay neat and everything will be perfect- that never happened with me!).  The best thing you can do it get to know your local resources for homeschooling and take the plunge with the realization that, if it doesn't work, you can always send the kids back to school the next year or try a different method of schooling.  :)

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#5 of 9 Old 04-03-2014, 09:41 AM
 
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For your own peace of mind and to appease your husband's concerns, look at homeschooling as a year-at-a-time choice. Back in 1999 my dh agreed to what we now jokingly refer to as a one-year "suspension of disbelief," and within several months was completely won over. Within several months my confidence was also much higher. Not confidence that I had all the answers and a perfect home education approach, but the confidence of knowing that muddling through and trusting the process of living and learning with my kids alongside me was enough: the kids were thriving.

 

Miranda 

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#6 of 9 Old 04-03-2014, 10:55 AM
 
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it will take time!  Move forward to get the change started and be "okay" with him doubting you, as when your loved ones around you become used to the idea that you you are absolutely going to do this, things will come around.  Don't voice your doubts to hubby.  If you want to do this, the only way is to trust yourself and... just do it.

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#7 of 9 Old 04-06-2014, 02:07 AM
 
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I did the same thing as Miranda.  I basically told my husband "Come on, how badly can I screw up 1st grade!?" and he agreed for a one year experiment.  Because I started out as a relaxed homeschooler (disregarded subjects entirely and didn't buy a box curriculum), he was even more nervous.  I started out by working on reading alone.  Math only entered the picture after son was on his way to becoming quiet the reader. By then my husband was fully convinced and I was happily scooting towards unschooling.  

 

Some things made my homeschooling journey so far simple, pleasurable and successful: 

 

1.  We started out as relaxed homeschoolers instead of trying to do school at home.  I basically helped my son learn to read and that went smoothly because he was ready and wanted to learn.

 

2. When math was later introduced (to his father's relief) I encouraged my son to do it all on his own.  He read, he looked at the examples, and he completed however many questions. To this day, he tackles math on his own. I am there to help, if he has questions, but in general he looks through and does it all on his own.  

 

3. I made educational shows available (Bill Nye the Science Guy, The Magic School Bus, Brainpop jr) and he ate it all up and my husband was impressed by all that he reported at the end of the day!

 

4. Audio books were and are still a huge part of my kids' day. It really helped my son with his reading and vocabulary development.  My younger one is a non-reader still and is not interested in trying to learn but she loves the audio books just the same.  

 

5. I helped them get into a very loose but predictable daily rhythm that is very much based on their natural inclination.

 

With your kids ages, if your 7 year old is a reader already, just provide books that are level appropriate for him to read on his own and do some math.  For your 6 yr old, work on reading first and then introduce math. The rest of their days, let them explore on their own via tv shows, videos, libraries, audio books and loads and loads of playing. All might fall into place pretty naturally. I initially thought I'd do two hours of homeschooling a day -- this was BEFORE I actually started homeschooling and was "planning" my days. As soon as I started, it became clear that I hardly needed 30 min a day and now that learning has became tightly weaved into life, it is difficult to delineate.  So much learning just happens through just being together and doing daily life things like cooking, cleaning, talking, reading, listening to music, hiking, playing, fighting, laughing, loving.  It just comes.

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#8 of 9 Old 04-06-2014, 12:02 PM
 
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For two years during my adoption I was home schooled and had tutors visit to give me extra tuition at Maths, Genral Sciences and Music. Pre-adoption I was a rather unwilling private school student, but I won't elaborate because it would become off-topic. However, I absolutely loved the home schooling curriculum that enabled me to go onto college to do my AS Level finals as a fast tracking student; I am a fast learner. Because I had a toddler and also because of my family being well known, going to a state school was out of the question. I used study as a hobby that enabled me to achieve highest marks from my AS level exams. The quality of home schooling cannot be beat. Okay, it is intensive even for 9 year olds upwards, but the quality of a home schooling education is quality indeed. Juniper at nearly 4 year's old is already showing she is brainy, so I hope that by the time she is 5 that a home schooling programme can be found.

 

As Miranda suggested, 'look at homeschooling as a year-at-a-time choice'. That would give your husband confidence, so taking home schooling slowly, I think, would be a very good choice.

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#9 of 9 Old 04-08-2014, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all SO much for the encouraging and helpful words!

Hubby's biggest concern is that if we do this even "a year at a time", they will be behind if they were to go back into a school system. As far as "why now?" - well, I would have looked much more seriously at it for this school year, but we moved to Quebec Canada (for this school year) and, having read a bit about it, realized that the laws here would make it more difficult. Also, though my boys are in an "English school", they do still do 40% or so of the day in French - which I had thought would be a phenomenal learning experience for my boys - and it has been!!

But, with our likely move back to our home state this coming summer, now (well, we get back!) seems to be the "right" time to get OUT of the public school system and to begin homeschooling!

Again, thank you all for your thoughtful words!


: currently not vaxing. love.gif Wife to awesome DH 10 yrs; Mama to DS1 8/06 and DS2 4/08; ribbonteal.gif for my mom who's 5 yr post, my grama who died of ovarian cancer 31 yrs ago
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